by Tahereh Mafi
“Would anyone like to take over this conversation?” Warner asks, looking around the group.
“You never answered my question,” James says. “About why you have so many things. I’m not trying to be rude,” he says. “Really. I’m just wondering. I’ve never taken a shower with hot water before. And you have so much food. It must be really nice to have so much food all the time.”
Warner flinches, unexpectedly. He looks more carefully at James. “No,” he says slowly. “It is not a terrible thing to have food and hot water all the time.”
“So then are you going to answer my question? About where you got all this stuff?”
Warner sighs.
“I am the commander and regent of Sector 45,” he says. “We are currently on an army base, where it is my job to oversee our soldiers and all the civilians who live on the accompanying compounds. I am paid to live here.”
“Oh.” James goes pale in an instant; he suddenly looks inhumanly terrified. “You work for The Reestablishment?”
“Hey, it’s okay, buddy,” Kenji says to James. “You’re safe here. Okay? No one’s going to hurt you.”
“This is the kind of guy you’re into, huh?” Adam snaps at me. “The kind of guy who petrifies children?”
“It’s nice to see you again, Kent.” Warner is watching Adam now. “How are you enjoying your stay?”
Adam seems to be fighting back the urge to say a lot of unkind things.
“So you really work for them?” James is asking Warner again, his words just a breath, his eyes still frozen on Warner’s face. He’s shaking so hard it breaks my heart. “You work for The Reestablishment?”
Warner hesitates. Looks away and looks back again. “Theoretically,” he says. “Yes.”
“What do you mean?” James asks.
Warner is looking into his hands.
“What do you mean, theoretically?” James demands.
“Are you asking,” Warner says with a sigh, “because you are actually seeking clarification? Or is it because you don’t know what the word theoretically means?”
James hesitates, his panic dissolving into frustration for a moment. He screws up his face, annoyed. “Fine. What does theoretically mean?”
“Theoretically,” Warner says, “I’m supposed to work for The Reestablishment. But, obviously, as I’m hosting a group of rebels on this government-owned military base—in my private quarters, no less—and sustaining said rebels so that they might overthrow our current regime, I would say no. I am not, exactly, working for The Reestablishment. I have committed treason,” he says to James. “A crime that is punishable by death.”
James stares at him for a long time. “That’s what theoretically means?”
Warner looks up at the wall. Sighs again.
I bite back a laugh.
“So, wait—then you’re not the bad guy,” James says all of a sudden. “You’re on our side, right?”
Warner turns slowly to meet James’s eyes. Says nothing.
“Well?” James asks, impatient. “Aren’t you on our side?”
Warner blinks. Twice. “So it seems,” he says, looking as though he can hardly believe he’s saying it.
“Perhaps we should get back to the suit,” Castle cuts in. He’s looking at Warner, smiling triumphantly. “Alia has spent a long time designing it, and I know she has more details to share.”
“Yeah,” Kenji says, excited. “This looks badass, Alia. I want one. Can I have one?”
I wonder if I’m the only person who notices that Warner’s hands are shaking.
FORTY-FOUR
“Punch me.”
Warner is standing directly across from me, head cocked to the side. Everyone is watching us.
I shake my head, fast.
“Don’t be afraid, love,” he says to me. “I just want you to try.”
His arms are relaxed at his sides. His stance so casual. It’s Saturday morning, which means he has time off from his daily workout routine. Which means he’s decided to work with me, instead.
I shake my head again.
He laughs. “Your training with Kenji is good,” he says, “but this is just as important. You need to learn how to fight. You have to be able to defend yourself.”
“But I can defend myself,” I say to him. “I’m strong enough.”
“Strength is excellent,” he says, “but it’s worth nothing without technique. If you can be overpowered, you are not strong enough.”
“I don’t think I could be overpowered,” I say to him. “Not really.”
“I admire your confidence.”
“Well, it’s true.”
“When you met my father for the first time,” he says, “were you not initially overpowered?”
My blood runs cold.
“And when you set out to fight after I left Omega Point,” he says to me, “were you not overpowered again?”
I clench my fists.
“And even after you were captured,” he says quietly, “was my father not able to overpower you once more?”
I drop my head.
“I want you to be able to defend yourself,” Warner says, his voice gentle now. “I want you to learn how to fight. Kenji was right the other day, when he said you can’t just throw your energy around. You have to be able to project with precision. Your moves must always be deliberate. You have to be able to anticipate your opponent in every possible way, both mentally and physically. Strength is only the first step.”
I look up, meet his eyes.
“Now punch me,” he says.
“I don’t know how,” I finally admit, embarrassed.
He’s trying so hard not to smile.
“Are you looking for volunteers?” I hear Kenji ask. He steps closer. “Because I’ll gladly kick your ass if Juliette isn’t interested.”
“Kenji,” I snap, spinning around. I narrow my eyes.
“What?”
“Come on, love,” Warner says to me. He’s unfazed by Kenji’s comment, looking at me as if no one else in this room exists. “I want you to try. Use your strength. Tap into every bit of power you have. And then punch me.”
“I’m afraid I’m going to hurt you.”
Warner laughs again. Looks away. Bites his lip as he stifles another smile. “You’re not going to hurt me,” he says. “Trust me.”
“Because you’ll absorb the power?”
“No,” he says. “Because you won’t be able to hurt me. You don’t know how.”
I frown, annoyed. “Fine.”
I swing my fist in what I assume a punch is supposed to look like. But my motion is limp and wobbly and so humiliatingly bad I almost give up halfway.
Warner catches my arm. He meets my eyes. “Focus,” he says to me. “Imagine you are terrified. You are cornered. You are fighting for your life. Defend yourself,” he demands.
I pull my arm back with more intensity, ready to try harder this time, when Warner stops me. He grabs my elbow. Shakes it a little. “You are not playing baseball,” he says. “You do not wind up for a punch, and you do not need to lift your elbow up to your ear. Do not give your opponent advance notice of what you’re about to do,” he says. “The impact should be unexpected.”
I try again.
“My face is in the center, love, right here,” he says, tapping a finger against his chin. “Why are you trying to hit my shoulder?”
I try again.
“Better—control your arm—keep your left fist up—protect your face—”
I punch hard, a cheap shot, an unexpected hit even though I know he isn’t ready.
His reflexes are too fast.
His fist is clenched around my forearm in an instant. He yanks, hard, pulling my arm forward and down until I’m off-balance and toppling toward him. Our faces are an inch apart.
I look up, embarrassed.
“That was cute,” he says, unamused as he releases me. “Try again.”
I do.
He blocks my punch with the back of his hand, sl
amming into the space just inside my wrist, knocking my arm sideways.
I try again.
He uses the same hand to grab my arm in midair and pull me close again. He leans in. “Do not allow anyone to catch your arms like this,” he says. “Because once they do, they’ll be able to control you.” And, as if to prove it, he uses his hold on my arm to pull me in and then shove me backward, hard.
Not too hard.
But still.
I’m starting to get irritated, and he can tell.
He smiles.
“You really want me to hurt you?” I ask him, eyes narrowing.
“I don’t think you can,” he says.
“I think you’re pretty cocky about that.”
“Prove me wrong, love.” He raises an eyebrow at me. “Please.”
I swing.
He blocks.
I strike again.
He blocks.
His forearms are made of steel.
“I thought this was about punching,” I say to him, rubbing at my arms. “Why do you keep hitting my forearms?”
“Your fist does not carry your strength,” he says. “It’s just a tool.”
I swing again, faltering at the last minute, my confidence failing me.
He catches my arm. Drops it.
“If you’re going to hesitate,” he says, “do it on purpose. If you’re going to hurt someone, do it on purpose. If you’re going to lose a fight,” he says, “do it on purpose.”
“I just—I can’t do this right,” I tell him. “My hands are shaking and my arms are starting to hurt—”
“Watch what I do,” he says. “Watch my form.”
His feet are planted about shoulder-width apart, his legs slightly bent at the knees. His left fist is up and held back, protecting the side of his face, and his right fist is leading, sitting higher and slightly diagonal from his left. Both elbows are tucked in, hovering close to his chest.
He swings at me, slowly, so I can study the movement.
His body is tensed, his aim focused, every movement controlled. The power comes from somewhere deep inside of him; it’s the kind of strength that is a consequence of years of careful training. His muscles know how to move. Know how to fight. His power is not a gimmick of supernatural coincidence.
His knuckles gently graze the edge of my chin.
He makes it look so easy to punch someone. I had no idea it was this difficult.
“Do you want to switch?” he asks.
“What?”
“If I try to punch you,” he says. “Can you defend yourself?”
“No.”
“Try,” he says to me. “Just try to block me.”
“Okay,” I say, not actually wanting to. I feel stupid and petulant.
He swings again, slowly, for my sake.
I slap his arm out of the way.
He drops his hands. Tries not to laugh. “You are so much worse at this than I thought you’d be.”
I scowl.
“Use your forearms,” he says. “Block my swing. Knock it out of the way and shift your body with it. Remember to move your head when you block. You want to move yourself away from danger. Don’t just stand there and slap.”
I nod.
He starts to swing.
I block too quickly, my forearm hitting his fist. Hard.
I wince.
“It’s good to anticipate,” he says to me, his eyes sharp. “But don’t get eager.”
Another swing.
I catch his forearm. Stare at it. I try to pull it down like he did with mine, but he literally does not budge. At all. Not even an inch. It’s like tugging on a metal pole buried in concrete.
“That was . . . okay,” he says, smiling. “Try again. Focus.” He’s studying my eyes. “Focus, love.”
“I am focused,” I insist, irritated.
“Look at your feet,” he says. “You’re putting your weight on the front of your feet and you look like you’re about to tip over. Plant yourself in place,” he says. “But be ready to move. Your weight should rest on the heels of your feet,” he says, tapping the back of his own foot.
“Fine,” I snap, angry now. “I’m standing on the heels of my feet. I’m not tipping over anymore.”
Warner looks at me. Captures my eyes. “Never fight when you’re angry,” he says quietly. “Anger will make you weak and clumsy. It will divert your focus. Your instincts will fail you.”
I bite the inside of my cheek. Frustrated and ashamed.
“Try again,” he says slowly. “Stay calm. Have faith in yourself. If you don’t believe you can do it,” he says, “you won’t.”
I nod, slightly mollified. Try to concentrate.
I tell him I’m ready.
He swings.
My left arm bends at the elbow in a perfect ninety-degree angle that slams into his forearm so hard it stops his swing. My head has shifted out of the way, my feet turned in the direction of his punch; I’m still standing steady.
Warner is amused.
He swings with his other fist.
I grab his forearm in midair, my fist closed around the space above his wrist, and I take advantage of his surprise to throw him off-balance, pulling his arm down and yanking him forward. He almost crashes into me. His face is right in front of mine.
And I’m so surprised that for a moment I don’t know what to do. I’m caught in his eyes.
“Push me,” he whispers.
I tighten my hold around his arm, and then shove him across the room.
He flies back, catching himself before hitting the floor.
I’m frozen in place. Shocked.
Someone whistles.
I turn around.
Kenji is clapping. “Well done, princess,” he says, trying not to laugh. “I didn’t know you had it in you.”
I grin, half embarrassed and half absurdly proud of myself.
I meet Warner’s eyes across the room. He nods, smiling so wide. “Good,” he says. “Very good. You’re a fast learner. But we still have a lot of work to do.”
I finally look away, catching a glimpse of Adam in the process.
He looks pissed.
FORTY-FIVE
The days have flown by, kites carrying them off into the distance.
Warner’s been working with me every morning now. After his workout, and after my training with Kenji, he’s carved out two hours a day to spend with me. Seven days a week.
He’s an extraordinary teacher.
So patient with me. So pleasant. He’s never frustrated, never bothered by how long it takes me to learn something new. He takes the time to explain the logic behind every detail, every motion, every position. He wants me to understand what I’m doing on an elemental level. He makes sure I’m internalizing the information and replicating it on my own, not just mimicking his movements.
I’m finally learning how to be strong in more ways than one.
It’s strange. I never thought knowing how to throw a punch could make a difference, but the simple knowledge of understanding how to defend myself has made me so much more confident.
I’m so much more aware of myself now.
I walk around feeling the strength in my limbs. I’m able to name the individual muscles in my body, knowing exactly how to use them—and how to abuse them, if I do things wrong. My reflexes are getting better, my senses are heightened. I’m beginning to understand my surroundings, to anticipate danger, and to recognize the subtle shifts in body language that indicate anger and aggression.
And my projection is almost too easy now.
Warner collected all sorts of things for me to destroy, just for target practice. Scraps of wood and metal, old chairs and tables. Blocks of concrete. Anything that would test my strength. Castle uses his energy to toss the objects into the air and it’s my job to destroy them from across the room. At first it was nearly impossible; it’s an extremely intense exercise that requires me to be wholly in control of myself.
But now, it’s o
ne of my favorite games.
I can stop and crush anything in the air. From any distance across the room. All I need are my hands to control the energy. I can move my own power in any direction, focusing it on small objects and then widening the scope for a larger mass.
I can move everything in the training room now. Nothing is difficult anymore.
Kenji thinks I need a new challenge.
“I want to take her outside,” Kenji says. He’s talking directly to Warner—so casually—something that’s still strange for me to see. “I think she needs to start experimenting with natural materials. We’re too limited in here.”
Warner looks at me. “What do you think?”
“Will it be safe?” I ask.
“Well,” he says, “it doesn’t really matter, does it? In one week we’ll be outing ourselves anyway.”
“Good point.” I try to smile.
Adam has been unusually quiet these past couple weeks.
I don’t know if it’s because Kenji talked to him and told him to be careful, or if it’s because he’s really resigned himself to this situation. Maybe he’s realized there’s nothing romantic happening between me and Warner. Which both pleases and disappoints me.
Warner and I seem to have reached some kind of understanding. A civil, oddly formal relationship that balances precariously between friendship and something else that has never been defined.
I can’t say I enjoy it.
Adam doesn’t interfere, however, when James speaks to Warner, and Kenji told me it’s because Adam doesn’t want to traumatize James by giving him a reason to be afraid of living here.
Which means James is constantly talking to Warner.
He’s a curious kid, and Warner is so naturally private that he’s the most obvious target for James’s questions. Their exchanges are always entertaining for all of us. James is thoroughly unapologetic, and bolder than most anyone would ever be when talking to Warner.
It’s kind of cute, actually.
Other than that, everyone has been progressing well. Brendan and Winston are back to perfect, Castle is in better spirits every day, and Lily is a self-sufficient kind of girl who doesn’t need much to be entertained—though she and Ian seem to have found a sort of solace in each other’s company.