“A little. But they fell in love in a short amount of time. You and I have a lot of history, Hayles. We’ve known each other since we were kids. We have feelings for each other that have nothing to do with sex. That’s not how most romances start or even end.”
“I suppose you’re right.”
“Have you ever been in love?”
She glanced over at me. “You know the answer to that question.”
It was my turn to think about what she was saying. We didn’t say much more and in no time, we were at her house.
And Spencer was waiting outside.
Fucking fuck.
He leaned against his pretentious overly expensive car, looking like he was in the middle of a midlife crisis even though he couldn’t have been much more than thirty. He was just another douchebag with a douchebag car.
“What do you suppose he’s doing here?” I asked.
Hayley sighed. “I have no idea.”
“Look, I’m going to stay out of it because it’s not my business. But for the record, it fucking pisses me off that he’s here.”
She looked over at me with wide eyes. “Why?”
I was pissed at myself for being so possessive. Hayley was her own woman, but she felt like mine. I didn’t want Spencer to touch her or even talk to her. And that was a very new feeling for me.
We got out of the Jeep, and Hayley strode up to Spencer while I hung back. I could’ve been a grown-up and gone inside and left them alone. But fuck that. Hayley and I hadn’t figured anything out and I wasn’t about to give up without a fight. I didn’t want Spencer feeding her anything I couldn’t counter.
“Hi, Hayley-baby. Can we talk?” He looked pointedly at me. “Alone?”
“Spencer, we have nothing to talk about.”
He pushed off his car and strutted over to her, taking her upper arm. “Just come on a walk with me.”
It took everything I had to stay planted where I was.
She tore her arm out of his grip. “Spencer, I don’t want to see you anymore.”
“It was literally only a couple weeks ago that we were hanging out and having a good time. This guy shows up and suddenly you want nothing to do with me?”
“It has nothing to do with Matthew. We’re done. I don’t want you showing up here anymore. I don’t want you calling anymore. You should get back on your big yacht. Maybe find some other woman more your style and sail to your next port. I’m sure there are plenty of women lining up to help you forget about me.”
Spencer raked his hand through his disheveled hair. “I don’t understand you, Hayley.”
“What don’t you understand?”
“Most girls would kill for the life I’m offering you.”
“I’m not most girls.”
“You are though.” He sneered over his shoulder at me. “I did some research. I know who this guy is. He’s a Wright. They have an entire empire of money, fame, and contacts. He’s got a cousin billionaire and another who is a rock star. It’s not even limited to his close family. Not to mention, mommy and daddy are still A-listers in the acting world. If you wanted to get back into that world, you would have all kinds of connections, wouldn’t you?”
“Let me get this straight. You think I need a rich dude to take care of me and help me with connections in the acting world to live the life I want?”
“You ain’t going nowhere down here in your little diving shop.”
Hayley’s hand tightened in a fist and before Spencer or I realized it, she punched him. Spencer went down hard.
My mouth fell open. Not that I didn’t think she was capable, but I’d never seen Hayley resort to violence. If I weren’t so pissed at Spencer for making her punch him, it would’ve been hot.
“Listen here, asshole. You should’ve had your private detective do better research on me. I have a little over two million dollars in liquid assets. And plenty tied up in investments. I don’t need any dude’s money. I’ve been smart about money since I was fourteen years old when my parents were taking their cut off the top. I don’t need you and I don’t need any of the Wright connections either. I have plenty of my own that I talk to on a very regular basis who still want me. I’m here because this is where I want to be. If I change my mind, that’ll be up to me too. I don’t need any man telling me what I should be doing with my life. And I certainly don’t need someone like you to live my life the way I want to. The fact that you think so little of me, asshole, punctuates how completely wrong you are for me. I’ll tell you one thing. No Wright would have the audacity or ego to tell me I needed some rich dude to make all my dreams come true.”
She took a step back. “Now, get your fucking ugly-ass car and your ugly-ass face off my property. Don’t ever come back again.”
Spencer scrambled to his feet, red-faced and with a swelling left eye that would be bruised by the end of the day. I didn’t even try to hold back my smirk.
Hayley stormed by him and headed for her front door. I followed her. She slammed the door once I was through it. Her cheeks were red. She pulled her hair up into a messy bun and paced from her kitchen to the end of her living room.
“Where the hell does that guy get off?” she yelled.
I leaned back against the door and watched her.
“The audacity that I need him to live the life I want. And the fact that he thinks I’m just latching onto a different rich guy. I mean, what the fuck?”
I tried to keep my smile under wraps. I didn’t want to end up on the other end of her wrath.
“You get that your mom has called me for my contacts, right?”
I held up my hands in surrender. “Hayles, never in my life have I thought you were ever in need of anyone. You’ve always stood on your own two feet, even when you didn’t have to. And I know better than to try and force you to accept help.”
“I don’t get what he thought he saw in me. If he thought I was such a gold-digging whore, then why the hell did he want to marry me?”
“Hayles, he’s nursing an open wound. I’m willing to bet he’s always done the breaking up and never once been told ‘no’ in his life. Because why would someone tell him no?”
“Matt, I can’t lose my identity with you,” she said suddenly.
“Whoa. Where did that come from?”
“I find myself wanting you to take care of me. Today after the shower, you were going to dry me off, weren’t you?”
“No.”
“Matt?”
“The thought crossed my mind but you’re a grown woman.”
“But I wanted you too. And I was disappointed when you didn’t. And that scared the crap out of me.”
“I wanted to take care of you. Not because you need to be taken care of but because I like to take care of you. It’s not something that needs to be a part of our relationship, but I’m open to it. And you know what, we can take turns. You can dry me off sometimes.”
Her mouth fell open and then she started laughing. “This is seriously a conversation we’re having.”
“You haven’t seemed to mind me making breakfast for us. Or driving some of the time. Hayley, relationships are supposed to be give-and-take. Friendships, romantic relationships, family relationships, they all take the same amount of work.”
“You’re saying we can make our relationship what we want it to be?” she asked.
“What the hell else would we do?”
“I don’t know. I thought there were rules. The wife cooks, cleans, has the babies, stays home with the babies, makes sure her man is happy, and completely sacrifices any of her wants and needs for the good of the family. And the husband is the breadwinner. He mows the lawn, hangs out with the kids during my wine or book club, and takes out the garbage. I nag him until he does those things. And we fight about not having sex and him not taking out the garbage. Right? Those are the clichés. That’s what everyone’s marriage is like.”
“That’s not what my parents have. It’s not what Chuck’s found with Aubrey. And that�
�s certainly not what I want out of a marriage. Is that what you want?”
“No!” Her hand flew over her mouth. “We shouldn’t even be talking about marriage.”
“Why not? We’re past the first and fifteenth date conversations. Hayley, I know all about you and you know all about me. Now comes the hard conversations so we can figure out if we want the same things, before we waste any time.”
She grew quiet and still. She wrapped her arms around her middle. “Matthew, I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve never thought I would want this. I didn’t want to be my mother. I’ve spent my whole life trying not to be my mother.”
“I know, Hayles. I’ve spent my whole life trying to make my career everything because I didn’t think I would ever find anyone as great as you. I think I’ve always wanted you.” I wanted to say something else, but I didn’t think either of us was ready for those repercussions yet. Still, it ached inside of me.
She swallowed audibly. “You kissed me right before you left Los Angeles and I was so mad at you. I wished you’d done it two years before when I wanted to be with you. That was before I grew up and was afraid to be just like my mom. I wanted us to be together then. But we were too young and then we were halfway across the United States from each other. It didn’t make any sense. And here we are a lifetime later and I still want it but we’re still half a world away from each other.”
“So what?”
“You going to quit your job and move here with me?”
“I don’t know. Do you want me to?”
Hayley opened and closed her mouth several times before saying, “I don’t know, but for sure not if you don’t want to.”
“I’m not saying any part of this is easy, but I don’t want to give up on it because it’s hard. Because I wanted to be with you back then, too. But everyone loved you and I didn’t think I stood a chance with you. And honestly, right now, I’m still not sure I do.”
“Do you think I just sleep with anyone?”
“Definitely not,” I said.
“Then why not?”
“Because you’re so scared to let yourself be happy with someone. You don’t want to somehow end up like your mom.”
“That’s true. But it’s not rational. I know that. My mother can’t be alone. She can’t be in a relationship either. She’s terrible at it. Not even friendship. I’ve built some pretty great relationships. I’ve never had trouble with that. I know I’m not my mother. But yeah, I don’t want to be hurt like my father hurt her either. To trust someone and then have it all fall to shit. That’s terrible.”
“Okay, so we’ve both wanted to be with each other for a long time and distance and obstacles have gotten in our way. What now?” I prompted.
She threw her hands in the air. “I don’t know. But I don’t really want to think about it anymore. It’s making me crazy.”
“All right, so what do you want to do?” My lips curved into a playful smirk. “I can think of a few things.”
Her teeth tugged on her bottom lip. “Are we just going to fall into another cocoon of sex?”
“Is there somewhere else you want to go?” I asked as I moved closer to her. “Sightseeing? Do you need food? Does Bryssa need anything?” I stopped right in front of her, letting her make the final move, the final choice. I knew it had to come from her.
But as she jumped into my arms, it felt like a victory for both of us. “Nope. I don’t want to go anywhere but to the bedroom with you.”
She wrapped her legs around my waist, and I made a beeline for her bedroom. There were clothes everywhere and I tripped, tossing us both onto her king-size bed. I claimed her mouth and kissed her deeply. I couldn’t believe she said everything she said. Maybe she did want this as much as I did.
21
Hayley
“Matthew, your wicked tongue and cock are going to cause us a lot of delays,” I said, panting as I fell back against the pillows.
He chuckled. “Glad I please you.” His voice rumbled deep in his chest.
I rolled over onto my side, propping my head up. “How are you dealing with the news about Rachel?”
His smile faded. “I don’t know.” He rolled over and mimicked my pose, his elbow bent and his head resting in his hand. “I still don’t like it. My littlest sister should not be the first of us to have a kid, you know?” I leaned forward and stole a too-fleeting kiss. “Have you thought about coming back with me?”
That question seemed to suck all the air out of the room. “I don’t know, Matt. There’s a lot to do around here. And my mom wants to visit me too.”
“You’d rather hang out with your mom?”
That was a trick question. He knew me better than that. “That’s not fair.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m playing dirty. And I’m avoiding asking all the questions I want to ask you because I’m afraid it’s going to scare you off.”
I fell back against the pillows and stared up at the ceiling. “I’m avoiding asking questions that scare me to even think about, let alone ask.”
“Hayles…”
“Yeah, I know.” It shouldn’t have been this hard. All I wanted to do was curl into him and let him keep rocking my body with incredible orgasms until I forgot how my legs worked, but there were all these other things standing between us. It all felt too hard.
“I really want you to come to Aspen with me for the holidays. Everything with Rachel, I could use the backup. I’m going to have to give everything to my parents and Rachel over this whole thing while keeping all my siblings at bay. It would be nice to have someone there for me. Plus, you love Christmas at my parents’.”
“I do.”
“Come with me. My mom would love to see you. I don’t even have to ask her to know that. And the rest of my siblings love you too. Even if you don’t want to go as my girlfriend, come as my friend.”
“Girlfriend?” I asked.
“Is ‘friends with benefits’ better? Or my sex goddess?”
“Lord, no.” I glanced over at him and his smirky face. “I see your point.”
“I didn’t come down here to make you my girlfriend or change your life or mine. But I don’t want to throw everything away because it’s hard. Think about coming back with me. Think about what works for you as far as a relationship with me. And if we can’t work it out, we can’t. We stay friends and we’ll figure out that part too. I mean, I’ve seen you naked now, and there’s no unseeing that or not getting hard just thinking about this hot body of yours.” His hand slid over the curve of my hip.
I smiled. “You think I’m hot, huh?”
“Fucking hot. Like dangerously hot. And it’s not fair.”
“Not fair? When did you decide to get all ripped? Good Lord. I can hardly keep my eyes off you.”
He leaned forward and kissed me. “If I knew my hot body would get you so hot and bothered, I would’ve run around without my shirt on a lot more.”
“Oh yeah? Just to torture me?”
He slid his hand over his rippling chest and abs and smirked. “With all this.”
“You’re going to take me to Aspen and what, have your way with me in your childhood bedroom?”
“Hey, I hadn’t considered that.” His lips curved into a devilish grin that gave me all sorts of ideas.
I swatted his chest. “I’m being serious. Didn’t your brother just get engaged? This is their first Christmas together. It shouldn’t be about us. And Rachel needs attention too. Hopefully, it won’t all be negative. Do we really need to throw a new relationship in there?”
“Do you want to keep it a secret? I don’t care if I have to sneak into your room every night. I want you there.”
“Why is it so important, Matt? We’re not going to figure this out just because we don’t stop hanging out.”
“If I leave here without you, Hayley…”
I pulled the sheet up around my breasts. “What, Matt?”
“You’re going to run.”
“And what if I do?”<
br />
“Then I guess I’m going to have to chase after you.”
“Like Spencer?” I regretted it the second I said it.
Matt stilled, his silence deafening.
I couldn’t look over at him. I stared down at my folded hands.
“Is that what I am to you? Just another guy asking you to be a part of something you have no interest in?”
I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “No. And that’s why you scare me so much. I’ve made myself very isolated from everyone in my life. I don’t know how to make a relationship work. Am I just supposed to pick up and move?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I should pick up and move. Look, all I want right now is to spend some time with you. We may get through another week of sex and it may dry up between us in no time. Or maybe…things grow deeper. And yeah, that’s what I’m hoping for. I feel like I’ve spent my life only living part of it. It took a dying man to point that out to me. After watching him leave before he was able to make his life right, the way he wanted…it broke something in me. I don’t want a trail of regrets where all my dreams rest. I want to get to my dreams. I have my career and it’s great. I have my family. I have success. But what I don’t have is you.”
I stared at him. I realized listening to him, all I’d ever done was make sure my life didn’t end up the way my mother’s had. But I didn’t truly do anything for me. I just didn’t do anything my mother would do, including letting myself fall in love with anyone.
Especially not Matt.
We hung out over the years, and I always knew how I felt, but I never thought he would feel that way about me. I never thought I could really have anything I wanted out of life. My mother certainly made it clear I didn’t deserve anything I wanted. I owed her for giving up her perfect body to give birth to me.
This whole situation was fucked-up. Maybe we waited too long and I was too fucked-up to be what he needed. Maybe he needed to find a nice girl from Los Angeles who wanted to be an actress but couldn’t quite make it, and now all she wanted to be was a trophy wife and a mother.
“Your brain is going a mile a minute,” he said quietly.
I glanced over at him, a small smile playing on my lips. “You do know me so well.”
Seducing My Best Friend (The Wrights Book 2) Page 16