I leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I hope so too, Mom. You certainly deserve it.”
It was a few days before Christmas, and I hadn’t left the couch for more than a food or bathroom break. I desperately needed a shower. Mom had been flitting around with her latest boyfriend and left me to wallow on my own.
I kept replaying everything in my head. What could’ve I done differently, aside from keeping it in my pants and not allowing him to kiss me?
Except, I wanted him to kiss me. Everyone seemed to have this idea I was in love with Matt and maybe he was in love with me too. But wouldn’t we know that? Wouldn’t we have a clue? Wouldn’t we have sought each other out before now?
We went five years without seeing each other.
The last time we saw each other…
Five years ago…
I stood in Matt’s condo with a glass of wine. Matt was hanging out with some of his friends on the balcony. But Derrick was standing in the kitchen with me.
“When was the last time the two of you hung out?” Derrick asked.
“About a year ago. We went to Aspen for the holidays, hung out with his family.”
He nodded and took a pull from his beer. “You’re not married, right?”
I chuckled. “No. Definitely not.”
“Seeing anyone?”
“No. Why?” I didn’t like his questioning. I didn’t for one minute think he was interested in me. In fact, I didn’t think the guy could stand me. He and I were usually arguing. I liked the guy, but we didn’t see eye to eye on much.
“Matt’s single too.”
My brow furrowed. “Yeah, I figured as much. I usually don’t hear from him when he’s seeing a woman.”
“Why do you suppose that is?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Most people aren’t great at juggling their friends with new significant others. They tend to focus where they’re getting the sex.”
He tipped his beer to me. “That’s a good point. Why are you single? You’re hot. Smart. Funny. You’ve had an interesting life. You’re not a pain-in-the-ass. You’re not high maintenance. Why are you single?”
“Because I like to be single. I’m not really the settle down type.”
“Of course, you don’t have to settle down if you have Matt in your life. You can have sex with guys and not get tangled up and still have a meaningful relationship with Matt without the sex.”
I finished off my wine and poured myself another glass. “Does this conversation have a point or are you just being an asshole?”
“Both, I suppose.”
“Then get to the point.”
“Why are the two of you not together?” he asked bluntly.
“We’re friends.”
“You’re more than friends,” he said. “Why the two of you don’t see it is beyond me, but you’re not. You don’t talk about the opposite sex around each other. Neither of you can seem to make a relationship work. And you’re not really trying to either. You check each other out. You’re protective of each other…”
“Derrick, while I appreciate your insight, I think you’re crazy.” I headed into the other room to get away from his words. He was making my brain work overtime trying to break through all the walls I’d set up for myself so I didn’t think about Matt that way anymore.
After a few hours, and a lot more drinks, I found myself standing across the room from Matt, watching him. The place was full of athletes, hot ones, and I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Not that he looked so different from the athletes, but he was my best friend. I didn’t think of him as anything other than a friend. But I knew I was lying, and apparently, so did Derrick.
“You’re thinking about it now, aren’t you?” Derrick’s voice murmured in my ear.
I didn’t answer.
“Do you want me to help you take him off your mind?”
I found myself following him back toward the hallway that led to the bedrooms. Derrick ushered me into one of the guest bedrooms, the one he was staying in for the night. I didn’t go inside, I lingered leaning on the doorframe.
“He’s not on my mind, you know?” I said pathetically.
Derrick had my number. He understood me better than I understood myself in that moment.
“I think he is. I think you’re thinking about all the questions I asked you earlier.” He moved to stand across from me, leaning against the door jamb. His gaze flickered down the hall behind me, back toward the party.
“If you think I’m interested in Matt, then why are you trying to take my mind off him?”
“I have a theory.”
“Yeah? What’s that?”
Derrick smirked. “This.” His gaze flickered one more time over my shoulder. Just as I was about to look behind me, he captured my mouth in a kiss.
It surprised me more than anything. Derrick showed plenty of talent with his mouth and tongue, but I felt absolutely nothing, except it was nice to be kissed. I let it go on longer than I would’ve thought to, until suddenly we were being torn apart.
I hadn’t expected to see Matt standing there with Derrick’s collar in his fist. “Excuse us, Hayles.” He shoved Derrick into the room and closed the door, with me on the other side.
I blinked a couple of times and then went back to the party and shortly thereafter to bed. The wine had finally taken its hold and I was tired.
I never did find out what Matt was so angry about, but Derrick wore a smirk for the rest of the night and into the morning.
And now I wondered if maybe Matt had been jealous of Derrick kissing me. I didn’t know why. He seemed so angry.
I checked my emails and phone hourly, wondering if Matt would reach out. I wanted him to give me some sort of indication we were still friends at least, or maybe that he wanted me back altogether.
Of course, I was asking for too much.
Bryssa had called a few times to check up on me. She was surprised I was taking things so hard with Matt. She told me that if I loved him, I should go find him instead of moping around.
Finally, I couldn’t stand it anymore.
I texted him.
Hayley: Did you make it to Aspen all right?
Matthew: I did. Thanks.
Hayley: Do you think you’ll ever forgive me?
It took a while, but eventually, he sent another message.
Matthew: There’s nothing to forgive. Merry Christmas, Hayles.
That bothered me. It sounded so final and so flippant. Did everything we went through mean so little that he was over it already? Had he moved on? Was he thinking it was a mistake? What the hell did that mean?
That was when the waterworks started. I cried until I was completely drained and then fell asleep from exhaustion.
24
Matt
I enjoyed the time of day when everyone was asleep, and I had the kitchen to myself. Otherwise, the Wright house was a zoo. Everyone had finally made it up to Aspen. And everyone seemed like they were in a cheery fucking mood.
I’d been banished more than once to my room. It made me mad. I’d offered to fly back home but Mom wouldn’t hear of it.
Rachel entered the kitchen. “Good morning,” she said quietly.
“Hi,” I said in a flat tone.
“Grumpy again?”
I sighed and rolled my eyes. “If you don’t like my attitude, there are twenty other rooms in this house. Find somewhere else to be all bubbly. Aren’t you supposed to be exhausted and throwing up all the time?”
“Gee, thanks. It’s nice that you want your little sister to suffer,” she replied dryly. She poured herself a cup of coffee.
“Should you be drinking that?”
“Are you my mother?”
“No, you won’t tell your mother you’re pregnant.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m going to tell them. I’m just not ready yet.”
“And what about the father, Rachel? Where is he?”
“Don’t worry about the father. I’m wor
rying about the father.”
Another presence drew my attention to the doorway. Neil’s best friend, Lance, was standing there.
“Am I interrupting?”
I said “Yes,” at the same time Rachel said, “No.”
Lance hesitated but he entered the room anyway.
I went back to reading my Kindle with the latest New York Times on it. But then something caught my eye.
Rachel watched Lance move across the kitchen as he made himself a cup of coffee. Her eyes followed him until he sat down next to her at the table. Lance glanced over at her and then they both looked away from each other.
I went back to reading, though my eyes were just scanning the words without registering them.
I set my coffee and e-reader down. “How the hell did the two of you hook up?”
Rachel’s eyes widened to the size of saucers and Lance immediately looked down at his lap, confirming my poorly thought out suspicion.
“Wh-what are you talking about?” Rachel sputtered.
I ignored her. “You’re the father, I presume?”
Lance lifted his gaze to meet mine like the man he was. “I am.”
I raked my hand through my hair. It was already standing on end. “Seriously, when the hell did the two of you…”
Rachel let out an exasperated sigh. “It’s none of your business, but if you must know, we’ve liked each other for some time. And this last summer we were sort of in the same place at the same time.”
“California?” I asked.
“Yes. We spent as much time together as we could. And…”
“You should know that I love her,” Lance said.
Rachel’s cheeks turned bright red.
“I’m glad to hear that at least. Does Neil know about the two of you?”
Rachel and Lance both shook their head.
“I suppose not. Neil wouldn’t take too kindly to his trusted best friend deflowering and knocking up his littlest sister.”
“It’s not like that!” Rachel spat. “I don’t have to defend my actions to anyone. Lance and I love each other. And we did what everyone else in this family has done plenty of. The teeniest of tiniest percentages about birth control not being foolproof turned out to be right on the money. And we both want to keep the child.”
“Lance, you’re about to go on a four-year stint to the Middle East, aren’t you?”
He nodded.
“And, Rachel, you haven’t finished high school yet.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’ll finish high school. I’ve got enough credits that I can graduate early. I’m due in the summer. Which means I won’t miss anything.”
The truth was, I wasn’t mad. Lance was a standup guy with a hard life. He worked his ass off for every shred of privilege he had. I respected the hell out of him, and I knew that if he said he loved Rachel, he loved her. It made me feel better that she’d found such a solid guy. Not every guy would stand next to a woman after knocking her up.
“All right, all right. I’m an ass. I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t wake up on the right side of the bed this morning.”
“This morning?” Rachel’s eyebrows rose high until they disappeared under her bangs.
“I suppose I’ve been a little testy lately.”
“I think we’re all ready to pitch in to buy you a ticket to go find Hayley,” Rachel said.
Lance’s lips twitched like he wanted to smirk.
My eyes narrowed. “Be glad you found the love of your life at sixteen, Rachel.”
“I thought you did too,” she retorted and then covered her mouth.
“Touché.” I finished off my coffee. “You should start telling people soon. And you should tell Neil. He shouldn’t learn about you and his best friend in front of everyone else.”
I headed out of the kitchen and then glanced back once they thought I was gone. Lance leaned over and kissed her very tenderly, his hand covering her belly. He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. And he looked at her like she was the most important person in his world.
I was happy she’d found someone that loved her so dearly and that she in return loved. It was written all over their faces. The fact none of us had seen it until now was a poor reflection of how little we paid attention in general.
I headed back to my room.
I grabbed my phone and flopped down onto my bed. Hayley hadn’t texted me back since I told her there was nothing to forgive. Maybe it was the wrong choice of phrasing, but I didn’t want her to think I was mad. I wasn’t mad. I was just in love with someone who wouldn’t, couldn’t love me back. At least not in a way that would allow us to be together.
I’d played out our time together over and over again and wondered if I’d only done this or if I’d only done that, maybe she would still be in my arms. But the fact of the matter was, Hayley was always going to run. What was between us was far too real and powerful for her to accept. And now that it was over, I couldn’t help but feel like such an idiot.
Derrick had been planting the bug in my ear about Hayley for years. I’d just been too stupid and too stubborn to see it. It was insane to me.
I remembered a while back when I had both of them over for a long weekend and Derrick had kissed her. I flew off the handle at him about it. I told him she wasn’t just some girl for him to screw around with.
All he said to me was, “Don’t you think you’re overreacting a little to your two best friends making out?”
Maybe I was, but I didn’t like it. And when I asked him if he was interested in her, he said, “Of course not.”
And then I asked if she was interested in him, he said, “Definitely not.”
I had no reason not to trust Derrick. At the time, I figured he’d made a move on her and she wasn’t interested in him, but they’d been kissing each other. I didn’t have the nerve to ask her if she was interested in Derrick. And now it was a moot point.
I never did understand why they kissed if they weren’t into each other.
Even now, years later, the memory of them kissing made me grind my teeth. Man, I was the biggest idiot ever.
But if I was, then so was Hayley.
A commotion brought my attention out of the past and to the present. I hurried out of my room when I heard two men yelling. It sounded a lot like Neil and Lance.
The yelling was brought to an abrupt halt when Neil charged Lance.
Shit. I glanced back to find Rachel holding her hands over her stomach, tears streaming down her cheeks. This wasn’t good at all.
I charged after both of them. I grabbed Neil and yanked him back. He nearly took my head off as he flung his fist at me. I shoved him against the wall and braced him there with my forearm.
“What the hell is going on?” I snapped.
Neil spat, “My so-called friend has been screwing around with our little sister.”
I cringed. I didn’t expect Neil to take it so badly. “Neil, get a grip. They’re consenting. And in love.” I couldn’t bring myself to say “adults.” Baby steps. I was trying.
Neil froze and his angry gaze turned on me. “You knew about this?”
“I knew Rachel was in love. I put together on my own with whom.”
“Did you know he knocked her up too?”
“Easy, Neil,” I growled. “That is our baby sister you’re talking about. And she doesn’t need you being vile.” I leaned on him to grab his attention that I was serious. The punk was no lightweight, but he was twenty-one and I still had about thirty pounds of muscle on him.
His piercing blue eyes met mine. Neil got the killer smolder our father had with blue eyes and devilish smile. He didn’t have to try very hard. I’d seen the way girls reacted to him. Adding the uniform to that had only increased his game. But right now, his smoldering gaze was trying to light me on fire.
“How are you okay with this?” he snarled.
I sighed. “Neil, she’s one of the smartest people in this family and I trust her. I always have. How many times
have you been stupid with a girl you didn’t even love? You don’t have to answer because I already know. And Lance didn’t betray you either. We can’t always control who we fall for and when. If I’d been smarter when I was sixteen, maybe I wouldn’t be in the mess I’m in now.”
Neil’s accusatory gaze eased. He looked over at Lance. “Can we talk?”
Lance nodded hesitantly.
I released Neil cautiously and stepped back. Lance glanced back at Rachel and he gave her a small hand gesture, kissing two fingers and pointing at her. I looked over at her and she smiled, pink filling her cheeks.
Once the two of them were gone, I nodded at Rachel. “Want to go for a walk?”
She nodded. “I’ll grab my coat.”
We bundled up and headed outside. The Wright property was a big lot and had a path around the outer edges.
“I think Neil will be the worst of it,” I said quietly.
“I hope so. That was awful,” she said.
“You told Bex yet?”
Rachel shook her head. “Neil was the first one since you. Lance didn’t want to keep his best friend out of the loop. And I suppose I don’t either. But I don’t think Bex is going to be too happy about it.”
“Why not?”
“She likes being the bad triplet.”
I chuckled. “Somehow, I think she’s still got you beat. I don’t think she has to worry about her reputation. For the record, I don’t think you did anything wrong. I think life does what life does best and throws a curveball just when things are going well.”
“A baseball analogy, huh?”
“I’m full of them.”
She chuckled. “You’re a really good big brother, Matt. But you should take more time for yourself. If things don’t end up working out for Hayley, you should try to get out there and take more time for you. I think we all thought you and Hayley would’ve gotten together years ago.”
I shook my head. “Honestly, it’s a relief to see you’re smarter than your big brother. I wish I’d been smart enough to put together the pieces and make Hayley mine. She might’ve been more open to it ten years ago. Five years ago.”
Seducing My Best Friend (The Wrights Book 2) Page 19