by Laura Kaye
“But we did. We found each other. And I think…” She gave a little shrug. “Now I think I believe in meant to be.”
He swallowed hard. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, Tara. But I promise I’ll devote my whole life to making you happy.”
She crawled on top of him, bringing their faces close. “You were you. That’s all you did. That’s all you had to do, Jesse.”
He nodded as her words reached inside him, slowly healing things that’d long been broken.
“Would you please tell me why you feel so unworthy? Because I’m going to devote my life to showing you that you’re worth everything I have to give.”
“Yeah,” he said, struggling for the words. It was hard revealing the ugliest parts of yourself, even to the person you loved and who loved you back. “I guess it goes back to the fact that my dad and I didn’t get along very well. I disappointed him a lot, and he thought I made one bad choice after another. It felt like nothing I did was ever good enough. I chose to run track instead of play hockey, which was what he’d wanted because it was the sport he’d played. He wanted me to be a surgeon, which at one point I thought I wanted, too. But when I told him I’d changed my mind and that I wanted to enlist in the navy, we had a horrible fight. He wanted me to go to college, and told me I’d be throwing my life away. That I’d have to live with that mistake. That he’d thought I was better than that, smarter. So when I left after high school, I rarely went back home to Cunningham Falls. I didn’t want to rub the navy in my parents’ faces. And I didn’t want to see his disapproval either.”
“Oh, man. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how hard that must’ve been. So you never worked it out with him? He never came around?” She cupped his face in her hand.
He shook his head and played with a tendril of her hair. “He died five years ago. I went home for the funeral, and I felt so out of place there that I’ve only been back one other time, when my sister’s husband died in a freak skiing accident.” Jesse never having the chance to make things right with his dad would always be one of his biggest regrets.
“That’s terrible,” Tara said, sadness on her pretty face. Sadness for him. Because she was on his side. Right now, that’s all that mattered. “Jesse, I’m so proud of you.”
He searched her eyes, seeing nothing but sincerity. “What for?”
Tara kissed him, once, twice. “For your service. For your incredible bravery in putting yourself in harm’s way again and again to do one of the most dangerous jobs in the world. At seventeen or eighteen, you knew what you wanted to devote your life to, and then you did it. And now you’re about to do it again with the police. So I’m proud of you. I’m also telling you this because I’m worried that no one’s ever said it to you. And you deserve to know that you’re amazing.”
“I fucking love you,” he whispered, drawing her in for a long, lingering kiss as the emotion warmed all the cold, hard parts inside him. God, she made him feel like a new man, a better man.
When they pulled apart, Tara tilted her head. “So you really don’t have a relationship with your family at all now?”
“My mom texts and calls sometimes. But I feel like….” He struggled to give voice to the mess inside him where his family was concerned. “I feel like I don’t know how to be her son anymore. How to fix things after so long.”
“Did she disapprove of the navy, too?” Tara asked.
“No. I mean, at first she was concerned for all the reasons any parent would be. But she saw it was what I wanted to do.”
Tara grasped one of Jesse’s hands and kissed his knuckles. “Then, Jesse, you don’t have to try to do anything special to be her son. You are her son. And I would bet any amount of money that she would give anything to be in your life.”
A rock settled into his gut. Could it really be that easy? Was this another area of his life where he’d let fear stand in the way? “You really think so?”
“I really do. When was the last time you talked to her?”
He thought back. “It’s been a few weeks.”
Suddenly, Tara pushed herself off him until she knelt between his knees. “Call her. Call her and tell her…just tell her that you love her.”
Jesse’s heart was suddenly a bass beat in his chest. He sat up and pressed his face against Tara’s chest. “I’d rather play with your boobs.”
She laughed and pushed him away. “Call your mom. That’s an order, sailor.”
“Fuck, you’re tough.”
She kissed him. “Better believe it.”
He got up and started looking for his jeans, his mind racing.
Tara frowned. “What are you doing?”
“I can’t reconcile with my mother with my junk hanging in the wind.”
She laughed so hard she snorted. He did a doubletake at her and grinned. “Sorry,” she said. “But I do believe your mother’s seen your junk.”
He smirked and threw his shirt at her. “Not for like thirty-five fucking years.”
“Fair point,” she said, still laughing at him. And, fuck, he didn’t even mind when he knew that she was there for him, on his side, having his back. The last time he’d had that was in the military. But now he had that kind of partnership in life. And it meant the fucking world.
Finally, Jesse had his phone in hand. He went to his recent calls and pressed his mom’s name. It rang. He couldn’t believe he was so nervous.
“Jesse, is that you?” she said by way of answering.
He paced. “Hey, Mom. Yeah. How are you?”
The look on Tara’s face was so damn hopeful. For him. She gave him a thumbs-up, and he nodded.
“I’m good, hon. Is everything okay?” The surprise in her tone killed him.
He had to make this right. “I’m fine. There’s no reason to worry. But, um, I guess, in a way, no, everything’s not all right.”
“Tell me what’s going on, Jesse.”
He swallowed hard—and made a leap of faith. “Mom, I’m sorry. About everything. About not getting along with Dad and making things hard on you and Willa. About not coming home and not staying in touch. I don’t want it to be like that anymore. I miss you. And Willa. And if you can forgive me, I want my family back.”
“Oh, my sweet boy,” his mother said, her tone full of tears. “Nothing would make me happier. I love you, Jesse.”
A knot of emotion settled into his throat, and he sat on the bed. Tara hugged him from behind, and he put a hand on her knee and squeezed. This was one more thing Tara Hunter had given him. “I love you, too, Mom. And I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry, too. But now we look forward. I have so much to tell you.”
Jesse looked over his shoulder to find happy tears in Tara’s eyes. “There’s so much I want to tell you, too…”
Which was how Jesse found out that Willa was getting married in June—to her childhood sweetheart, Max Hull. Somehow they’d found their way back to each other, and Jesse couldn’t wait to hear that story straight from Willa, since he’d now be going to her wedding. Going home to Cunningham Falls. And it was how his mom learned that Jesse was in love with the most amazing woman in the world, and about to start a new job he was passionate about. And so many other things.
When he got off the phone, he turned in Tara’s arms and hugged her tight. “Thank you, baby. You were right.”
She held him close and kissed his cheek. “I’m so glad, Jesse. You deserve to have a family.”
He tilted his head back and looked her right in the eyes. Marry me.
That was what was on the tip of his tongue. But he needed a ring. And he wanted to make an occasion out of it. To make it as special as this woman and the love he’d found with her. So…soon.
Instead, what he said was, “I love you, Tara.”
Because for today, that was finally enough.
Epilogue
Eleven weeks later
Tara was a ball of nerves—but they were all of the good kind.
Today was Jesse’s g
raduation from the police academy, and Tara couldn’t be more proud of him. “Go get ’em, Jesse,” she said, giving him a kiss as they entered the lobby of the big police academy building.
He tucked his blue uniform hat under his arm. And geez did this man look fine in the crisp dark blue dress uniform. His black shoes gleamed.
“Thanks, baby,” he said, giving her one more kiss. And then he crossed the lobby to where some of the other new graduates were heading into an adjoining room. Right away, they all greeted Jesse, shaking his hand and giving him fistbumps. Tara smiled watching him, so glad he’d found a whole new group of brothers—and sisters—who’d always be there for him.
The minute Jesse disappeared, Tara got out her cell and shot off a bunch of texts. She’d planned some surprises for him and she was about coming out of her skin with the hope that she could pull them all off.
And as those surprises started to arrive, she couldn’t stop grinning. Jesse deserved to know how many people cared. How much she cared. And she wanted nothing more than for him to feel that today.
Finally, they were all seated—taking up most of two rows in the big auditorium, Tara noted with delight. Excitement from all the recruits’ gathered friends and families buzzed around the room until the ceremony began.
First, senior officers processed in down one side of the aisle, then stood in front of the first three rows of seats on the right. The mayor and police chief took places upon the stage, framed by the U.S. and DC flags.
And then the doors on the other side of the auditorium opened, and the new recruit class processed in. Eyes straight ahead, marching in step. Eighteen in all.
Jesse was second in line, and Tara couldn’t take her eyes off him as he moved to the front of the room where the class stood before the first two rows of seats. After the Pledge of Allegiance, everyone sat.
The mayor spoke, then the police chief, and all the while Tara was just dying for Jesse to turn around and see who was here for him. And then the chief asked the recruits to stand with their badges in their hands and turn to face their families. The recruits recited their oath of office.
And Tara saw the exact moment when Jesse found her in the crowd—and then all the others.
Jesse’s mom, his sister Willa, and his nephew Alex had flown in from out West. Ever since their reconciliation, Jesse and his mom had talked once a week, and Tara had stolen her number from his phone and called to invite the lady. They’d ended up having a wonderful chat that left Tara warmed with the knowledge of just how much Jesse’s mother loved him. And despite the fact that Willa’s wedding was in less than two weeks, she and her son had also made the trip. Jesse had reached out to her, too, and now they were keeping in regular touch for the first time in years.
Tara was so happy for him.
Next to his family was the whole CMDS crew, including Mama D, who’d been beside herself with joy when she’d learned that Tara and Jesse were together. She’d insisted that they join her and Boone for dinner on their sailboat, and Tara was glad that they’d been so understanding about Jesse switching jobs. Them being here to celebrate him certainly proved that.
Jesse’s eyes went wider as he recited the last lines of the oath and his gaze scanned the row behind Tara. Because a bunch of Warrior Fight Club friends had come, too. Noah and Kristina, Billy and Shayna, Dani, Mo, Sean, and even Coach Mack.
Jesse’s gaze snapped back to hers, full of love and amazement. Tara’s cheeks hurt from grinning so big.
When the oath was over, the police chief asked the recruits to be seated, and then, recruit by recruit, she invited family members to come forward to pin their new badges on their uniforms.
“Officer Jesse Anderson.”
Tara smiled at Jesse’s mom, and they both got up and made their way down the aisle to him. Those dark eyes were burning with emotion as he handed Tara his badge. Tears pricked the backs of her eyes as she secured it above his heart.
“Congratulations,” she said as he hugged her.
“Can’t believe you did all this,” he whispered. “Love you.”
She nodded and withdrew to let his mom have a chance. And watching them say hello after so long apart finally made a few of her tears fall. Happy tears. So much happiness.
When it was all over, the chief asked the whole class to stand and said, “May I introduce to you our newest officers and the 2019 graduates of the Metropolitan Police Academy!”
The room erupted in applause and everyone was instantly on their feet.
When it was over, Tara couldn’t get enough of watching all his friends and loved ones congratulate Jesse. And, wow, seeing him with Willa, there was no denying that they were family. Jesse deserved this—all these reminders of the ways he belonged.
He certainly belonged to her. Just like she did to him.
The whole group partied and honored Jesse with a dinner, and then she and Jesse spent some time with his family at their hotel—the Marriott, of course. Tara so enjoyed seeing Jesse with his family that she couldn’t help but think the evening ended way too soon.
“I’m sorry we can’t stay longer,” Willa said as she and her mom walked them to the door.
Jesse hugged his sister. “You don’t have a thing to apologize for. I know you need to get out to California to get ready for your big day.” That was where her fiancé, Max, owned a resort where the wedding was taking place, and they all had 6 AM cross-country flights the next morning. “And we’ll see you there real soon.”
“I know. I’m really proud of you, Jesse.” She dashed away a tear before it fell.
He leaned down to meet his sister’s eyes. “I’m really proud of you, too, Willa. And I’m so glad I get to be a part of your new family.”
“Aw, geez, is everyone gonna get all mushy?” Alex said, making them all laugh. He didn’t share Willa and Jesse’s dark eyes, so Tara guessed he took after his father that way.
Jesse ruffled his nephew’s hair. “Take care of your mama, little man.”
“I will, Uncle Jesse,” Alex said, giving Jesse a quick hug that made Tara’s heart squeeze. Between wanting to sit by his uncle at dinner and all the stories Alex had told Jesse about his new dog, Rocky, it was clear the boy was enamored with his uncle. And Tara so cherished that for Jesse. She really did.
“I’ll see you real soon, Jesse,” his mom said next. When she pulled back from embracing Jesse, she reached out for Tara. “You have a sweet girl here.” The lady gave her the warmest smile, one that made her feel like she was a real part of the reunion happening here. “I can’t wait to see both of you again in a few weeks.”
After that, everyone hugged again, until it was clear that no one really wanted to part. But finally, Jesse and Tara left and went home to her apartment—their temporary digs while they searched for a place together.
When they walked through the door, Penny and Mailman danced around their feet. The 10-year-old pug/terrier mix and 8-year-old pitty had been Jesse’s idea, but it wasn’t like it took much convincing for Tara to agree.
“Hi, guys,” she said, bending down. “Jesse’s a real police officer now, so you better be good.” Mailman swiped his huge pink tongue across her chin, making her laugh.
Jesse chuckled. “They’re in charge around here and they know it.”
That much was true, which was why all four of them now slept in her bed. But as far as Tara was concerned, you could never have too much love.
“I’ll take them out while you get changed,” she said.
Jesse hesitated, but then just nodded. “Okay.”
Fifteen minutes later, she returned with two much calmer doggos, and she was telling them what a good boy and girl they were when she walked through their apartment door—to find Jesse still in his uniform.
And down on one knee in the middle of the living room.
Tara gasped. She dropped the dogs’ leashes, who didn’t seem to mind dragging them along as they trotted to the water dish. “Jesse,” she said.
He held ou
t a hand, beckoning her to him. As her heart thundered in her chest, Jesse took her hand in his. “Tara Hunter, I love you for the amazing woman you are, for the man you’ve helped me become, and for all that you’ve given me. I’m a better man with you, and it would be the greatest honor of my life if you would let me dedicate my life to loving you. Tara, would you please marry me?”
Jesse pulled a diamond ring out of his pocket. The princess cut was stunning, perfect, but it couldn’t begin to compare with the soul-deep love shining from this man’s eyes. This man whom she loved with her whole heart.
“Nothing would make me happier, Jesse. Yes, I’ll marry you,” she said.
His breath actually caught, and the sound of his surprise and awe reached right into her chest. He slid the ring onto her finger and rose, taking her in his arms. “Love you, baby. So much. Thank you for taking a chance on me.”
“Oh, Jesse, I love you, too. Loving you was the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”
He took her chin in his fingers and smiled. “Here’s looking at you, kid.”
Yeah, they were meant to be.
THE END
* * * *
Also from 1001 Dark Nights and Laura Kaye, discover Ride Dirty, Hard As Steel, Hard To Serve, and Eyes On You.
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Fallon McCarthy has climbed the corporate ladder. She’s had the office with the view, the staff, and the plaque on her door. The unexpected loss of her grandmother taught her that there’s more to life than meetings and conference calls, so she quit, and is happy to be a nomad, checking off items on her bucket list as she takes jobs teaching yoga in each place she lands in. She’s happy being free, and has no interest in being tied down.