by Sadie Moss
Rhys grimaced, his face contorting with frustration and pain. My heart ached for him. He’d spent years, much longer than I’d even known him, being told the same thing over and over by his pack mates. And they weren’t wrong. Getting Sariah back would be difficult, and their attack on the Austin complex had proven that any missteps or wrong guesses could be disastrous.
But how long could he have patience? How long could he keep the flame of hope alive under a constant barrage of setbacks?
I knew all too well what that felt like, and I wished I could fix this for him. Make things better somehow.
But I could barely even control my wolf. And although I’d been able to get him partway to finding his sister, I couldn’t grant him the missing pieces.
“I know.” Rhys clenched his jaw, his shoulders falling as his head drooped slightly. “I just want to be there. If something happens, and I wasn’t there for her…”
He trailed off, looking ill. I stepped out of Jackson’s embrace and wrapped my arms around Rhys’s waist, resting my head on his chest.
I half expected him to push me away, to yell at me that this was my fault for delivering half-formed information. But instead, his thick arms came around me, squeezing me to him so tight I almost couldn’t breathe as he buried his face in my hair.
He clung to me as if he needed me. As if I truly could help him—not by delivering up his sister, but just by being here for him.
Tears pricked the backs of my eyes, and I held onto his muscled form for dear life, offering up what little strength I had. West’s hand fell on Rhys’s shoulder, lending his comfort too.
“Jesus. You guys were telling the truth? Strand did this to you all?”
Carl’s voice broke the silence, and I looked over to him, startled. I’d honestly forgotten he and Molly were even here. He was staring at the TV through narrowed eyes, chewing on his bottom lip.
“Yeah. We were telling the truth,” Noah said tiredly.
“And that’s who has your sister?” Carl shifted his gaze to Rhys.
I wasn’t surprised Molly had told him everything I’d told her about our situation. Or maybe the guys had told him at some point. There really wasn’t any reason to hide the truth anymore.
“Yeah.” The single word seemed to cause Rhys physical pain.
I pulled away as he spoke, glancing up at his face. His expression was wary, but his voice was calmer, less wild.
The wiry, sharp-faced man hesitated for a second. Then he glanced at Molly before nodding decisively. “Then I’ll help you get her out.”
“What?”
I probably shouldn’t have blurted it out like that, and I definitely shouldn’t have let so much disbelief color my tone. But just a few days ago, Carl had been unwilling to even let us back inside the house. Now he was offering to help us with a dangerous, maybe impossible, mission? Why?
Rhys shifted to face him, keeping an arm draped over my shoulder as he narrowed his eyes. “Yeah, what?”
Carl shook his head, his lips tilting up a little at our obvious disbelief. “Hey, man. I didn’t just become a fuckin’ saint or anything. But I know what it’s like to have someone try to take what you love away from you.” His hand found Molly’s, and she leaned into him, burrowing against his shoulder. “It’s not fucking right. And besides, we’re not staying in Vegas. Not after the shit that went down today. We need a fresh start somewhere.”
His voice was rough, and I realized he was serious. He would leave everything behind to keep her safe.
“I’m not gonna lie, we could really use your help, Carl.” Noah spoke carefully, his brows pinched together. “But are you sure? We’re going up against a massive corporation with resources to spare. We were lucky we managed to get Alexis out of the Austin complex where we found her—and Strand hasn’t stopped hunting us since. You don’t have to get involved. You and Molly have already done enough.”
The wiry man chuckled. “Well, I’m not offering to go in with you, guns blazing. That’s never really been my style. But it sounds like you need information and resources. That, I can definitely do.”
Molly turned her head to lay a kiss on his shoulder. “I’ll help too, if I can.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, gratitude and relief unwinding some of the tension in my chest.
Carl wrapped his arms around Molly, pulling her into his lap. The way he touched her reminded me of how my mates were with me—as if even a hair’s-breadth of space between us was sometimes too much.
“You don’t need to thank me. Like I said, I owe you.” His expression hardened. “I’d have given anything to kill the cocksuckers who took Molly myself. But having their throats ripped out by a giant fucking wolf is the death they deserved.”
His tone was fierce, almost proud, but his harsh words made my stomach twist.
I’d killed three men today, and when I was finished, my wolf had been hungry for more.
Was this really who I was becoming?
Chapter Seventeen
None of us would’ve chosen to tell Carl and Molly about the Strand experiments and the existence of shifters, but it turned out to be the best thing that could’ve happened.
With Carl’s help, information that had been impossible for the guys to dig up on their own suddenly became much more accessible—not to mention, the pawn shop owner had access to false identification, weapons, and other gear. I’d always known the pawn shop was basically a front for his other “businesses”, but I hadn’t really wrapped my head around what he truly did for a living.
As Molly explained to me in a quiet voice while Carl and my mates put their heads together to confer, her boyfriend was a sort of “fixer.” What that meant depended on what whoever came to him needed—it could be anything from forging documents to hacking computers to money laundering.
My gaze flicked to him across the room, gesturing animatedly as he talked, and I cocked my head slightly. He looked almost exactly like the stereotypical mobsters I’d seen in dozens of movies and TV shows, but… not. Although he could be terrifying when he was angry, there was a softness that came into his eyes from time to time, especially when he looked at Molly. Whether he’d developed his softer side after falling in love with her or she fell in love with him because of that softer side, I wasn’t sure. And really, it didn’t matter.
I was just grateful whatever moral code Carl lived by had prompted him to offer us help.
The seven of us migrated to the kitchen eventually. We ordered pizza and began working out a plan while Carl tapped away on his laptop, green eyes darting quickly back and forth as he scanned the screen. The guys really hadn’t been able to dig up much useful information on the Strand complex in Salt Lake, so once we had more to go on, there were a lot of details to work out.
Time seemed to slide by as if someone had greased the wheels, and when I finally glanced up at the clock, it was already after 11 p.m.
Rhys had argued successfully that we should leave the next day. Any last minute adjustments to our plan would be easier to make once we were closer to our target, and it was better if we left Vegas before anyone connected Molly and me to the three mauled bodies in a house on the far side of the city.
There was more to do. So much more. And I really wanted to be a contributing member of the team, but as the evening wore on, my focus began to slip.
My wolf, still agitated from the events of the day, paced and whined inside me, like a dog who couldn’t decide if she wanted to be inside or outside. She was restless, irritable, and unsettled. I found myself terrified that she would burst out again at any moment, tearing apart the delicate partnership we’d established with Molly and Carl.
I didn’t think she would attack anyone here, but I still didn’t feel like I could trust her completely, and I hated that.
Shifting uncomfortably in my seat, I rubbed at my chest as if the wolf inside me was a bad case of heartburn. Noah noticed and rested a hand on my knee, leaning in to speak low in my ear as the others continued
talking around us.
“You should get some rest. We’ll keep hammering out details, but we can get by without you for a bit. You went through a lot today. Give your wolf some time to calm down.”
I looked up into his gray-blue eyes, wishing I was strong enough to tell him I didn’t need a break. None of them were resting, and I was sure Nils and his team of hunters weren’t either. This wasn’t a game for weaklings.
But he was right. I could feel my control slipping, and it would be worse if I pushed through and let something terrible happen.
“Okay. Thanks. Come get me if you need anything though, all right?”
“We will.” He pulled me toward him, pressing a soft kiss to my lips, then nudged me gently in the direction of the door.
Rhys looked up as I left, nodding in understanding. His eyes hadn’t stopped blazing with a fevered excitement since Carl had agreed to help us, and even though he didn’t judge me for resting, I was sure it would be hours before he went to sleep.
I padded down the hall to the guest bedroom and closed the door behind me before stripping off my shirt and jeans. I rummaged in the large closet we all shared, caving to my impulse and grabbing one of West’s t-shirts. It hung down to my mid-thighs, and it smelled just like him—woodsy and clean. The scent comforted me. I felt so distant from him, and even though Jackson had helped me understand why his pack mate kept pulling away, it didn’t stop the yearning in my soul.
Now that my body knew sleep was coming, a wave of exhaustion crashed over me, making my feet drag as I shuffled across the room and practically face-planted on the mattress.
But as soon as I nestled under the covers, doubts and fears crawled inside my mind like monsters that had been hiding under the bed. Despite the softness of the pillow and the comforting weight of the heavy blanket, my eyes refused to stay closed.
Quiet sounds filtered into the room from down the hall, and I tried to let the comforting baritone of my mates’ voices soothe me.
I wasn’t sure how long I lay like that, trying to find sleep, but when the door creaked as it opened a while later, I was still wide awake. Noah poked his head through the crack, and when he caught my gaze, he stepped inside, closing the door softly behind him.
“Can’t sleep?”
I shook my head, relieved to be dragged out of my own whirling thoughts. “No.”
He crossed to the bed and sat beside me, reaching out to run his fingers along my cheek. My eyelids drooped at his touch, and I turned my head slightly to chase the feeling. It was almost like a drug, one I would happily get high on over and over again.
“What’s on your mind, Scrubs? Can I help?”
His voice was full of concern and caring, and I wanted to drown in everything that was Noah. From the first day I’d met him—when I still thought his name was Cliff—he’d been taking care of me, and I knew he always would. I reached up and tugged on his hand, urging him to lie down next to me. He did, stretching out his large body beside mine. The blankets still separated us, but I could feel the delicious strength and heat of his muscles as he draped an arm over me, enclosing me in his embrace.
“My wolf is acting strange. She’s upset, restless, and I don’t know what to do about it,” I admitted, turning my head to meet his gaze. “When I attacked those men, when I killed them… I was worried I wouldn’t be able to stop.”
He rested his head on the pillow next to mine, our faces only inches apart. “But you did. You didn’t hurt Molly.”
The mere thought of it sent shivers racing up my spine, and I grimaced. “Thank God.”
“You went through a lot today, Scrubs. I wish we could’ve been there for you. I know you can take care of yourself, but I wish I could’ve killed those men so you didn’t have to.”
I inhaled his scent as our combined breath filled the space between us. Just his presence was calming me down, soothing my wolf. I sighed, feeling the tension in my shoulders start to unwind. “I feel so out of control most of the time. My wolf is so big, so powerful. I could be a huge help to you guys, but I worry I’ll always just be a mess you have to keep cleaning up.”
“Nah. Jackson’s already claimed that position.”
Noah laughed softly, and I chuckled. Jackson was notorious for pulling crazy stunts when he needed to blow off steam, something his pack mates had learned to deal with before he did anything truly insane.
“Yeah, I’ll probably never top him. I just feel like…” I rubbed my chest again, the ache there growing in intensity as I spoke about it. “Like I need something. Like something is missing, somehow.”
Noah rose up on one elbow, leaning over me with a look of concern. “What, Scrubs? What do you need?”
You.
It was the truest, simplest answer to his question. The mate bond between me and the four shifter men pulled at me every day, reminding me that although they were mine and I was theirs, our connection wasn’t yet complete.
I needed him. In a basic, primal way that went so far beyond sex it reached a soul level.
Noah was my mate, my first crush, my savior. He was one of four people in the entire world that I trusted without a shadow of a doubt—that I would lay down my life to protect, if it came to it. His boyish face and sculpted muscles were almost inhumanly beautiful, but it was what was inside that made me want to wrap myself in his embrace and never come up for air.
I couldn’t find the words to express my scattered thoughts or the aching need that bloomed in my chest every time I was around my men. So I answered without words, lifting my head off the pillow and pressing a kiss to his full, soft lips.
Noah responded immediately. He cradled the back of my head with a large hand, bringing me closer as he returned the kiss. His tongue brushed against mine, making sparks fly through my body and throbbing heat gather in my core. His body moved over mine as he kissed me, pinning me to the bed under the blanket that still separated us. I fought against the stupid thing, wanting to wrap my legs around him, to hold onto him forever.
Gently, he lowered my head back down to the pillow, trailing his fingers down my neck, over my collarbone, along the curve of my breast as he devoured me with his kiss.
“Noah!” I gasped, finally working my arms out from under the blanket to twine them around his shoulders.
“Oh God, Alexis.”
He moved against me, and I could feel the hard bulge of his cock pressing against my core, promising something so sweet and overwhelming I was afraid it might destroy me.
But I would happily risk annihilation.
I moved against him, urging him on as our tongues danced with each other, tasting and savoring.
Then, with a grunt, Noah tore himself away from my lips, sucking in a deep breath as he drew back. Even in the shadowy light, I could see the battle raging in his soft gray eyes. He was trying to master himself. To pull away like they always did.
Panic flooded my chest as I gazed up at him, already feeling the cold emptiness of the dark room, the sting of his rejection.
But I wasn’t injured anymore. I was healthy. I was fine.
And I was desperate.
“No! Noah, please! Don’t go. Please!” I hauled his face back down to mine, peppering his skin with kisses while I spoke. “I need you. I need you so fucking much. Please don’t leave me. Don’t go.”
His body tensed for a moment, and then he pulled back slightly again, staring at the tears that leaked from my eyes. I blinked them away, my breath coming in soft gasps as I locked eyes with him.
Slowly, deliberately, Noah pulled my hands away from his shoulders, pressing them down into the pillow above my head.
My heart fell as he leaned away from me, scooting toward the edge of the bed. He stepped off it, and I tried to bolster myself against the heartache, unfulfilled need, and loneliness that I knew would smother me as soon as he left.
But he didn’t leave.
Instead, he reached down and grabbed the comforter in a tight fist before tearing it off the bed.
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Chapter Eighteen
The cool air of the bedroom met my skin in a rush, making goose bumps skitter over my body. The oversized t-shirt I’d worn to bed had worked its way up, and now the hem was bunched around my waist, leaving my soft blue panties exposed.
Noah still held the edge of the comforter in one fist. His gaze swept over my body, the expression on his face so heated that it banished any memory of the cold. I bit my lip, watching him watch me, as wetness dampened my panties. I shifted, bringing my legs together a little, squeezing my knees to try to relieve the building ache.
The beautiful man before me let out a noise that was almost a growl, dropping the blanket as he crawled back onto the bed. He pulled my legs apart, settling himself between them, and despite the fierce hunger in his eyes, his touch was gentle.
“No, Scrubs. Let me. I’ll take care of you.”
I wasn’t even quite sure what that meant, but the promise in his voice made shivers of desire run through my body. And I trusted him, more than I’d ever trusted anyone in my life. Pushing my nerves aside, I let the muscles in my legs relax, allowing him to move them however he liked.
He grinned at me as he felt the change in my body, and rewarded my compliance by pressing a kiss to the inside of my knee. I’d never been particularly conscious of that part of my anatomy before, but the touch of his lips and the soft scrape of his stubble against the sensitive skin there exploded through every single nerve ending I had.
I gasped, arching off the bed. Noah grinned wider and did it again, trailing his mouth slowly upward over my heated flesh, alternating between legs so I never knew where the touch would come next. By the time his warm breath ghosted over my panties, I was a writhing, panting mess.
The fabric was soaked. I could feel it, and a momentary flash of embarrassment flooded me. Was I supposed to be this wet?
But any shame or awkwardness I felt slipped away when Noah kissed me through the fabric of my panties, then clamped his mouth down and sucked. Pleasure slammed into me like a runaway train, and my upper body came all the way off the bed as I clutched at his head, trying to—I wasn’t even sure what. Bring him closer? Push him away so I could breathe again?