“Vasily won’t know I helped unless you tell him. And if Sokolov likes you, there’s nothing he’d be able to do about it.”
I watched the stars twinkle for a moment, trying to decide. But then I pictured Nadenka and the way she’d looked at me right before Vasily had appeared, and right after. There was no love lost between them. It was almost as if she’d wanted me to defend her, claim her. Instead, I’d walked away. Already I felt torn up inside. I wanted her. And badly. Was I really going to stand by and let Vasily have his fun first?
“Okay,” I said. “Tell me what your sponsor would have me do.”
2:06am
Nadenka
Downing the last of the coffee cup, I finally felt sober enough to drive home. The rest of the night after Kostya had left had dragged by, my body still tense. No part of me had appreciated the stunt Vasily had pulled. Or the threat he’d given me.
But I couldn’t stay out forever, sulking over a hot drink. It was time to go home and sneak back into the building. I nodded to the bartender as I dropped a wad of cash by my empty coffee cup.
Pulling out my keys, I found my car right where I’d left it. Sitting behind the wheel, I considered doing something crazy, like driving to Konstantine’s apartment instead of home. Would he even be there? And would he welcome the intrusion even if he was? There was no way to know, but I knew the rumours about him.
People said he knew how to torture people. To abuse them in all sorts of ways. And his speciality was women. Women like me.
I shuddered as I thought about some of the most violent things I’d heard him accused of. Could I really find a man like that attractive? But I knew the answer. I did.
All my life I’d been around danger and men who thought they were powerful, but Konstantine didn’t think he was powerful. He knew it. And every inch of his confidence had to be based on something. A part of me wanted to find out what.
Shaking the thoughts from my head, I started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. I needed to go home and truly think about what I wanted. If Konstantine was going to be my goal, I needed to know more about him, but I could think of only a few people who might know the truth. And none of them would be likely to want to tell me.
2:58am
I sighed with relief as I shut the stable door behind me and bolted it in place. It felt good to be home.
After only intending to get my car back I was aware so much more had happened. Every time I thought about the electric moment I’d shared with Konstantine on the dance floor I felt my body heat up, desire flaring deep inside. If nothing else, I lusted for the man.
Taking off the muddy riding boots, I went to put them on the rack just outside the stable, like I always did. As I opened the door to the rest of the house, I paused. An unexpected light was on, revealing a waiting person. My father sat at a small table in the hall, his face dark, his emotions masked.
I couldn’t prevent myself from gulping, putting the shoes on the rack more out of habit than intention.
“Hello, Father,” I said when he continued to sit and didn’t speak.
Many times when I’d snuck out, I’d imagined what it would be like if he found out what I was doing and what I was up to, especially the first few times I’d gone. But sitting in silence, staring at me while he nursed a drink, hadn’t been in any of the scenarios. I didn’t know what to do.
“When I was told this was what you were up to, I must admit, I didn’t believe what I was hearing.” Father got to his feet, leaving the drink behind.
Holding still, I waited for him to come closer. Many occasions when he’d been angry when I was younger made it clear it was wiser to be quiet.
“What on earth holds so much appeal that you’d sneak out at night, away from the protection I have in place for you, away from my knowledge, and away from all sensible behaviour?” His voice was low, menacing. I knew I couldn’t respond with the word on the tip of my tongue. There was no way saying a man’s name would make this go any better. Of course, before I’d met him in the club, it hadn’t been about him.
“Freedom,” I replied. “I’ve been feeling more and more trapped. I wanted to know what it feels like to call all the shots, be able to date who I like without them being interrogated.”
Father frowned, his forehead creasing up.
“To date? You risked your life to meet boys!” This seemed to be the wrong answer, his voice growing more irate. Immediately I shook my head. This conversation definitely wasn’t going the way I’d imagined.
“No, although I have met a few now and then. I’m not dating anyone now.”
This seemed to cool him a little, but I knew I was still in hot water.
“I just wanted to be someone else for a few hours. I never told anyone my name.”
“People don’t need your name to know who you are. I’m one of the most powerful dons in this city. People know your face.”
“I was careful, Father. And here I stand. No harm has come to me.”
He growled, making it clear he didn’t care if I’d got lucky. In his mind it wasn’t good enough. I stopped talking. There wasn’t any more I could do. Now I would need to listen as he offloaded how he felt.
“You have no understanding of how much danger you put yourself in, do you? What if someone had taken you? I wouldn’t have even known where to begin a search. I might not have even known you were gone until too late.”
“I was careful,” I said again, unable to stay silent despite wanting to.
“It’s not good enough, Nadenka. You disobeyed me. Violated my trust. If you had truly wished to go out of an evening, or attend parties, I wouldn’t have refused you the request. But I do intend to keep you safe. And it’s clear I can’t trust you to make sound decisions yourself.”
“But, Father-”
“No, Nadenka,” he said. “What if one of these men who think they can impress a don or shift the power with a single move had taken you? Some of them... Some of them do unspeakable things. I won’t see that happen to you.”
I shut my mouth, aware of how accurate his words were. Did he know it had been Konstantine I’d been with that evening and the evening before? I didn’t dare ask. How could I tell him now?
“From now on you won’t go anywhere without an escort. And for the next week you won’t go anywhere I don’t pre-approve.”
I opened my mouth to complain at the draconian measures, but Father raised his hand to cut me off before I’d begun.
“It’s not a long-term solution, but you’ve got some atoning to do. For now, you’ll put up with it. And I won’t hear a word of protest. Now, go to bed. We’ll discuss your usual itinerary and how much of it is still viable once we’ve all had some sleep.”
I nodded, expecting him to walk away at this point, but he didn’t move. A moment later, it dawned on me. He planned on walking me to my bedroom door.
Trying to hide my annoyance, I turned and headed for my room, glad he’d made no comment on my attire. I was still wearing the short skirt and low-cut top I’d chosen for the club. It wasn’t my classiest outfit by a long way, but class hadn’t been the message I’d wanted to give.
“Good night,” Father said as I stepped into my room, his tone still very much full of anger. Not daring to open my mouth in case other thoughts came out, I merely nodded and shut the door.
For a moment I didn’t move, trying to resist the urge to pick up the nearest object and hurl it. After several seconds I heard the sound of his footsteps as he finally walked away.
My hand moved to the handle again as I considered going back to my car and simply never coming back, but it didn’t do more than hold the cool metal. I might be angry at my father for being overprotective, but he was still my father, and the only parent and family I had. I couldn’t do that to him. Not when this seemed to be his way of caring.
Sighing, I went over to the bed and pulled my clothes off. Wearing nothing but the lacy underwear I’d hoped Konstantine would see, I slipped under the cool bedsheets.
> How could a night that had been going so well suddenly take such a turn for the worse? First Vasily had shown up and then Father had found out. Could the two be connected? Had Vasily tipped him off? Did it even matter now?
I was sure of only one thing, Konstantine was in my past. After the fears Father had voiced, there was no way he’d allow me in the same room as someone like him, someone who did the very things my father was afraid of.
Unusually for me, tears welled up in my eyes, and for a moment I allowed myself to wallow in the miserable emotion, crying into my pillow.
I was trapped in a life I’d never wanted, and I could see no way out.
10:52pm
Kostya
Grunting, I pulled the zip ties as tight as I could. It would cut the circulation off in her wrists, but that wasn’t my problem. They wouldn’t come off unless her father paid the agreed price. The girl whimpered, just as she had when I’d tightened all the others. The noise did nothing to ignite any mercy. She was a job and I would do what I needed to.
Taking several deep breaths, I composed my thoughts. It wouldn’t help to let guilt creep in. And creep in it would if I let it. My victims had almost never done anything wrong themselves. But their relatives or loved ones had. I made people suffer to punish someone who cared about them. And I did it on camera.
With fingers shaking ever so slightly, I repositioned camera one until it showed the perfect angle of the woman’s body. She was tied in place, her body wearing nothing but the underwear she’d had on when I took her.
After taking several more breaths, I picked up the nine-tailed whip I kept just for this purpose, made sure my face was covered with the usual mask, and stepped into shot. Holding the torture device out, I looked directly at the camera.
Over the course of the next few minutes I explained why she’d been taken, who had paid me to do this, reiterating that I was only the messenger. I knew when this was watched there would be a mix of anger and fear. They’d wish they could stop me and equally not truly believe what I was about to do. And they’d blame me, for a little while at least. Until it came time to try and stop me from doing more. When the demand was made at the end, then they’d blame my employer.
But this one was different. Vasily didn’t want money, or for someone to get off his territory, or to learn not to betray him. He wanted something else entirely.
And I wanted Nadenka. But I’d been warned off her so thoroughly others had suggested I take heed.
As I cracked the whip for the first time and heard the woman cry out, I thought of Nadenka and Vasily. There had been many times in my life when I’d not managed to get something I wanted, but they’d all been when I was younger, less powerful.
Now, I was meant to be able to get anything I wanted. Now, I should have my choice of women.
Anger boiling inside me, I struck again and again, the screams not registering as red blossomed out in thin lines across the perfect skin, changing the lace a different colour yet failing to soothe the rage deep inside me.
At times I imagined Vasily in her place, others Nadenka, anything to stop me obsessing over her, but none of it helped.
When my arm ached and I panted for breath, I stopped and stepped back, my vision clearing. Instantly, I realised I’d gone far further than I’d intended at the start.
This is why you don’t let your emotions get the better of you. Ever, I thought, stepping to the side and facing the camera again. I’d meant to stop after hurting her just enough to make her beg for her life. Meant to do other stuff to her after that. To touch her, violate her. But I’d gone so far she’d passed out. A small mercy in a way. Turning to the camera, I looked straight at it and paused.
“You know what he wants. If he doesn’t have it within the next four hours, I’ll wake her and carry on,” I said.
Beginning to feel sick, I walked off screen and shut the camera off. I dropped the whip on the floor, my hands no longer wanting to grip the handle. All of me now shuddering and shaking, I pulled the memory card out, shoved it into the pre-prepared envelope and put it somewhere no harm would come to it.
Unable to hold back the tide of emotion and guilt, I rushed to the small bathroom and vomited, barely getting to the toilet in time. Emptying the contents of my stomach only made me feel so much better. This wasn’t a normal reaction to the job. But then I’d never lost control like that before.
Normally I did the bare minimum required. I never took delight in hurting others. Being in control—I loved that. But causing pain with no remorse, or mercy, that wasn’t like me.
There were other ways to get into the heads of the people watching. Ways that were worse to watch and less damaging to the victim. It was how I kept myself human.
It wouldn’t work to carry on like this. I had to make sure this never happened again.
Spitting the last of the bile from my mouth, I resolved to do something. If Yazov was right, I needed to win over Sokolov. And there was only one way. But I needed to be clever. It was a good thing I had an ally. And far more information on the victim’s family than I usually did.
Feeling a little better, I cleaned up, changed, put the mask in to soak, and retrieved the envelope from the shelf. I grabbed a piece of paper and added a note. Normally I didn’t bother, but this wasn’t a normal job.
“Come, Mitka,” I said, once I was ready to deliver the message. I did this part too. Another way to keep what I did under wraps. No one expected the delivery boy to be the person doing the actual abuse. And it gave me further insight into the people I was hurting. There was never only one round. They never believed it enough, or they were stupid enough to want to go to the police.
Mitka curled up on my shoulder, his tail draped over my neck, where he always sat when I wasn’t myself. The warmth was appreciated, but I needed to encourage him off when I arrived at the right house. He was too memorable if seen.
Banging on the door, I waited for someone to answer. It was late and the occupants were likely to be in bed, but they answered within seconds. Wordlessly I held the envelope out to the older Russian who’d answered, his jet black hair almost gone to grey. He was fully dressed, his eyes full of concern.
A groan escaped him as he held the contents and read the note. A woman appeared behind him, her eyes questioning until she also saw what I’d delivered. Her hand went to her mouth and she reached for him, her knees buckling.
I frowned. They’d never been worried before. Never even known their loved one was gone. These parents knew. They’d been expecting it.
“Is it as bad as we’ve heard?” he asked eventually. I raised my eyebrows. This was off script. “Is it as bad as Mr Petrushkov said it would be?”
“Did he phone you?” I asked. They shook their heads.
“No,” the woman replied, tears filling her eyes. “He warned us he’d pay that monster to abuse her if we didn’t sell him the farm.”
“If you didn’t what?” I asked, feeling the blood drain from my head.
“He wanted our farm, something about a field being good for a horse. He didn’t even own the horse,” the woman said, sniffing and fighting back the tears.
I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists. This wasn’t the sort of job I normally did. I’d assumed Vasily was like every other don who came to me, fighting another don, not scaring a normal person into submitting. The dons knew what kind of world they were operating in. These were everyday, normal folk.
No part of me would be able to continue. I knew that now. And I’d never ever forgive Vasily. This went against our entire code. No wonder Yazov had stepped in to help. He must have wanted this over as much as I now did.
“Is there truly a video on here?” the man asked, breaking into my thoughts. I nodded without hesitating. There was nothing I could do to spare them any pain now. I could only ensure I didn’t have to act further.
“If you want my advice, follow the instructions in the note. Sokolov is a reasonable man, unlike Vasily. And he’d do anything for his
daughter. Absolutely anything.”
The couple nodded.
“And Erika?” the man asked, his voice breaking as he spoke her name.
“The sooner you act the less likely anything more will happen to her,” I replied, knowing I couldn’t tell him truly that nothing more would. If I’d struggled to stomach it before, I had no ability to carry on now.
“Then come, my dear.” He nodded to me, took his wife’s hands and shut the door.
Feeling far too many emotions to drive back to the woman just yet, I got behind the wheel and headed out of the city instead. She wasn’t going anywhere, and I couldn’t face the situation until I was letting her go.
But whatever happened, I knew I would never work for Vasily Petrushkov again. And I’d make sure he paid for this. Somehow.
April 15th – 7:52pm
Nadenka
Sighing, I tried not to be put off by my father’s man. He’d followed me around the entire day, sitting somewhere in any room I sat in. The only way I could get away from him was to use the toilet. And that only brought me a brief respite from his company.
Well, except for when I went to see Levin. No one else dared to get into his enclosure with me. But the bodyguard waited outside. I was as trapped as my animals.
At least dinner time might afford me some more scintillating conversation, I thought as I wandered into the dining room. But the dinner table was only laid out for three. Father, myself, and no doubt some man Father might want me to impress.
“Ah, Nadenka, you’re just in time,” Father said. “I have received some very good news.”
“You have?” I replied, trying to sound at least vaguely interested. If Father was in a good mood, maybe I could persuade him to be lenient.
“Yes. I don’t know much more just yet, but there’s something I’ve wanted for a while and it looks like I’m about to get it.”
“Congratulations,” I said, sitting down at the table before he could tell me where to sit. It wasn’t as if it mattered when it was only made up for three. My father would sit at the head of the table and I would sit on one side. But who would be there, opposite me?
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