“Right.” He nodded. “It takes some practice, but you’ll get the hang of it. You already have the general idea. When I was a child, I could accidentally slip into dark space. Something would tingle in my head and I’d just go there without another thought. Frankly, I’m lucky I didn’t disappear into the vast endlessness a lot sooner. I had to learn to protect myself, to shield my powers from working on their own without direction from me.”
“We’re not even sure what my powers are. I can bring you a bridge of light to guide you out of the darkness, and I can also blow up a glass window.”
“Don’t forget merging minds with me during hot sex.”
She could only imagine that she blushed, because her cheeks felt incredibly hot. “Of course, let’s not forget that.”
“In any case, it shouldn’t matter; we all shield almost entirely the same. It’s a technique.” He paused, and as he thought of something, she saw the swirls that apparently only she could see heighten in intensity in his eyes. “It’s like learning yoga.”
“I’m really very bad at yoga.”
He laughed. “Doesn’t matter; you’ll be good at this. Let’s sit up.”
Slightly bereft at the loss of intimacy, she did what he asked. He moved until they faced each other, their knees touching on the bed, their naked bodies not bothering either of them.
He raised an eyebrow and grinned. “This feels a little foolish, but it will work, I promise. For most people it’s a one-time fix.”
“Something is bothering me, Spence.”
“What?”
“My father taught me to do that poem, which means he had some form of protection from whatever it was he could do—even though my grandfather is in utter denial about it—so who do you think taught him?”
Spencer seemed to consider the question for a moment before he shrugged. “Maybe he just learned it out of survival. If someone taught him how to do it, we’re not likely ever to know who it was. His condition would have shown up before most people knew what it was, before having these afflictions was of international importance. But maybe he knew right away, even as a child, that your grandfather wouldn’t handle his differences well. In any case, I’m sure he just wanted to protect you.”
She felt her eyes start to fill with tears. She dabbed at them with the edge of the bed sheet, willing herself not to cry. “All right, let’s do this, whatever this is.”
“It’s all about imagery. Let’s face it, our brains are simply different from those of most people, or we couldn’t do what we do, right?”
“Makes sense.” She shivered for a moment as she imagined her grandfather finding out she was Conditioned, having her killed, then having her brain dissected.
“Focus, please.”
“You do sound like a yoga teacher.”
He grinned. “For whatever reason—and we really don’t know why, as Wade Corporation hasn’t told us the answer yet, we respond really well to imagery. Also sounds, which, although I hadn’t thought of it before, is probably why your little rhyme thing worked. It’s a repetition of a sound.”
“You know I never, ever read the reports that come in from Safe Dawn. I don’t look at the rundowns; I don’t even know what we’re currently working on.”
“How can you expect to run your grandfather’s major corporation if you don’t pay attention to its biggest moneymaker?”
“Whoever told you that is lying.”
He canted his head. “What?”
“Only a very small fraction of our holdings in the institutions bring us any money at all. Most of the time, the testing we do here and at the other places is actually a money drainer. The board calls the testing Grandfather’s ‘pet project.’ Very few of the things discovered at this place have had any real-world application on the outside.”
She could tell she’d stunned him. He furrowed his eyebrows. Resisting the urge to reach out and comfort him, she let him sit undisturbed for a moment. She had no idea what the people who ran the institutions told them about the testing Wade did, and how it was used for financial gain.
“Then you’re telling me that Oliver Wade does this to us out of some sort of morbid curiosity rather than for financial gain?”
She sighed. “He would say that he does it to save society from all of you. If he can find a cure, he can put you back into the real world. If he can’t, then he can keep anyone from getting hurt.”
“Did someone he love get killed by a Conditioned person?”
“Not that I know of. As far as I know, he loved my grandmother, but she died of cancer, not anything to do with any of this. I really don’t have answers about him.”
“Then let’s get back to you. You need shields. Close your eyes.”
She did, with a slight worry that she might actually doze off and fall asleep. It had been a long day, and she was feeling relaxed and sated. Hell, Spencer would be lucky if she didn’t start snoring right where she sat.
“I want you to tell me the happiest you’ve ever been.”
“You mean besides right now?” She smiled; she really was feeling sinfully fantastic sitting with Spencer on his bed.
“You’re hardly happy right now, but thank you for the compliment just the same. Jeremy is still missing. I have a feeling I won’t get to see you truly happy until it’s resolved.”
A large portion of her liveliness fell away. He was right. She might have been feeling temporarily content, however, the looming truth of what was happening hadn’t changed. Biting her lower lip, she tried to concentrate. Happiest she’d ever been?
The memory hit her hard.
Sitting in her father’s arms—they’d felt huge and strong to her eight-year-old self—on his sailboat, he’d taught her how to guide a boat as the sun had set behind them. He’d been tall, with dark hair and eyes that laughed more than they angered. Her mother had dressed Jeanne and Addison in matching yacht club clothes for the day, so they’d been clad in blue-and-white skirts that matched their tops. Addison had worn a headband to keep her hair out of her face, but Jeanne hadn’t minded the windblown sensation.
Their mother had sat in the rear of the boat, watching them and holding a video camera to record the day. What happened to that tape?
“Do you have the memory?”
She nodded. “I do.”
“Wrap yourself in it. Let it fill you up inside. Let your brain absorb it until it solidifies around your insides like a giant, unbreakable wall that no one would dare try to penetrate.”
“Why do you make it sound easy?”
He laughed, and the sound warmed her. “Because it is. Your brain is designed to do it. Just wrap yourself in it, live in that moment, go back there in your mind for just a few seconds, and it will happen. Think of it as stretching your brain muscle like you might do with your other muscles in exercise class, or a sensory memory thing in acting.”
She tried to take herself back to that evening.
The boat was noisy. The sails flapped, the chains clanked, and the waves splashed against the boat. In the distance, seagulls sang to the universe. Her father hummed in her ear and occasionally remarked on how beautiful their mother looked with the horizon behind her. Jeanne had brought rocks on board with them, and she threw them over the side. Clunk. It was the sound the rocks made as they hit the water, followed by the tiniest of splashes.
Her eyes flew open. She could see it all. Spence had been right. It was auditory for her, but there was the memory, as alive as the moment she had lived it. It moved inside her brain until she could feel the memory lodging itself in her head.
“Is it working?”
Spencer’s voice startled her, and she jumped. “I think so.”
He smiled. Unable to resist the urge, she leaned forward and kissed him. As he ran his hands lovingly up and down her leg, he held her tight. When she pulled back, he winked.
“Now, if you suddenly find yourself thinking about that time, it probably means you’re in danger of having an episode. You can calm
yourself down or stop whatever you’re doing.”
“I do feel sort of… secure.”
“Then it worked.”
She blew out a breath she hadn’t known she was holding. “Now what?”
He leaned over and kissed her on the tip of her nose. “Now, Addison Wade, we go and find out where they took your nephew.”
“Just like that?”
“I don’t know if it’s going to be easy, but we will succeed. I can guarantee it.”
“You sound so sure of yourself.” How could he be so confident when she was so terrified?
“There are some things in this strange life I live that I can do. Finding missing children is one of them. This case is slightly more complicated than the previous ones, but I can do it.”
She swallowed and asked the question that haunted her.
“And after you find Jeremy?”
Something swirled in the strange blue-and-green color of his eyes. “Then you go home, Addison.”
“And you?”
“Somehow, I go on.”
Only she wasn’t sure she ever really could.
Seventeen
Spencer stood at the front of the room, eyeing each of the people he’d called to the meeting with a newfound wariness. Discovering that Rhodes hadn’t been completely on the line with him had taken away the security he’d felt about the institutions. How many of the people in them had secrets he knew nothing about?
To be fair, they all seemed to be judging him slightly differently since he’d practically knocked Jack out—not an easy thing to do considering that the man’s Condition allowed him to kill with just a thought. Not to mention Spencer had taken Addison as his lover. That had to have everyone freaked out since they didn’t know her.
The only good part was that Roman, who hugged the shadows in the corner, seemed equally uncomfortable. Spencer knew he should have been above pettiness, but where Roman was concerned, he might never actually get to that level of maturity.
He cleared his throat. “I don’t know what was said after I left here.”
Jack laughed, a harsh sound. “Not much. The Fury over there let us call the people you wanted brought in, but not much else.”
“I have a name, dipshit.” Roman barely lifted his head as he delivered the set-down.
Spencer wasn’t sure he’d ever heard Roman curse before. He tried not to grin.
Roman could get rattled enough to swear. Who knew?
“To make a long story much shorter, I was called out to assist Addison in the search for her nephew, who was kidnapped from their apartment in the middle of the night. I thought it was going to be an easy find—frankly, I thought he would turn up dead—but it’s become much more complicated than I ever could have imagined. Made even more complex by you kidnapping Addison and nearly getting the whole lot of you killed.
He’d added the last jab on purpose. His panic at her going missing was still a tight knot in his shoulders. It would be a long time before he could forget it.
“It must be serious if you brought him in.” Holland motioned toward Roman.
“Roman brought himself in.” Looking at his brother, Spencer realized for the first time what it must be costing him to put up with such a high level of hostility from the group. He wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of it. “I’m actually immensely grateful for his help.” Even if he would have preferred to be able to speak to Rhodes on his own. Roman had concealed Addison’s condition so far.
He needed to give credit where credit was due.
Roman nodded, and Spencer suspected that would be the entire acknowledgement he would get. Even as a child, his brother had never been particularly effusive.
“We were initially shocked when I did a reading in dark space and came up with nothing. It was like Jeremy never existed.”
“Are you sure you didn’t imagine having a nephew?” Tara directed that nasty remark to Addison, and Spencer wished he didn’t have an unbreakable rule about hitting women. Someday, someone was going to smash the woman in the nose.
“I’m sure.” Addison gave Tara her most haughty expression, the one that included her ice-cold glare and pursed lips. Tara actually shrank back a bit. He wondered if his woman practiced that, or if it just came naturally to her.
Minnie finally spoke. “Maybe if I went in with Marisa and did a deeper look around…”
A dark space reader like he was, Minnie wasn’t as practiced or as good at going deep into the space. Having gone into the darkness with her more than once, he appreciated the offer, but they both knew she could only go as far with a conduit as he could go without one. Marisa flipped her chestnut-brown hair over her right shoulder and nodded.
“I went into the total darkness by myself.”
Minnie and Marisa gasped. Marisa’s powers were similar to Priscilla’s. Usually she worked as Minnie’s light path. Spencer had tried to work with her after Priscilla’s death, but he’d nearly overwhelmed the woman. He was going to ask her to put herself at high risk today—he hoped she’d say yes.
“How did you get back?” He heard the awe in Minnie’s voice. He’d already decided how he would handle that question.
“It’s a very long story.” He gave Addison a look meant to instruct her to keep quiet. She seemed to understand. She stood, arms crossed over her chest, in a posture that said to the world, “Leave me alone.” He could see the insecurity others would miss.
He forced his thoughts back from his admiration for all things Addison to the task at hand.
“Obviously, I did get back. What’s important is what I found while I was inside. I located Jeremy.”
Tara smacked her hand on the table. “Great. Woo-frickin-hoo. Why didn’t you find him and move on? Why drag Princess Addison to our little neck of the woods?”
The girl had never had a sense of when to keep her mouth shut. “Tara, if you let that chip on your shoulder get any bigger, you’re going to collapse under the weight of it.”
That earned him chuckles from around the room. Even Addison smiled, which impressed him, because he suspected she wanted to kick the woman’s behind from Safe Dawn to China.
Minnie and Marisa, as the only other dark space trekkers, were the only ones to see the importance of what he’d said.
Marisa spoke first. “Why was he buried so deep? Doesn’t he live in that apartment?”
“What’s going on?” Minnie chimed in immediately after Marisa.
He raised an eyebrow. “What if I told you that Jeremy’s babysitter’s energy was gone from her apartment, too? As well as any sign that Jeremy had ever been there?”
“This is all such existential nonsense to me.” Russell shook his head. “My power is so easy compared to this.” He looked at Holland, who nodded his agreement.
Spencer didn’t care what anyone else thought. He had a role for each of them to play.
But he needed to get the two Ms on board so he could go to work on Laurel. She could heal anyone with a touch—physical healing—and it hurt her to be too close to others for extended periods of time. If someone even had a hangnail, it could give Laurel a headache. The small, black-haired woman spent most of her time in solitary confinement just to give herself some needed peace. He often thought Laurel’s eyes held the sorrows of the world.
His plan was to use Marisa to light-guide them to Jeremy until she physically couldn’t do it anymore, have Minnie distract Priscilla so he could get a location, then have Laurel heal Marisa when it was over. The others would come with him. Addison would retrieve Jeremy. It was simple, but in this case, simple was best. There were already too many levels of intrigue.
Marisa sighed, finally answering his question. “I would say it would be impossible unless someone out there could do that, could make people vanish from dark space. I’ve never heard of such a thing.”
“Neither had I until I heard of Loretta. Turns out she’s actually not dead… and it turns out there are the same doubts about Priscilla and Daniel Monroe.”
Tara gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. Tears came to her eyes and disappeared within seconds. Ah… so the rumors had been true. Daniel and Tara had been an item.
She shook her head vehemently. “He wouldn’t do that.”
Gina scoffed. “He would, and you know it. I knew him better than you without ever sleeping with him. Don’t make him out to be a good guy; he’s not—alive or dead.”
Spencer turned his attention to Gina. She was lounging with her feet up on the couch, her head leaning against Jack’s shoulder. She lifted her head and raised an eyebrow. Gina, Jack, Holland and Tara were the final part of his plan. The people with the lethal abilities… well, Holland’s weren’t quite deadly, but they were scary. He would need all of them with him to get Jeremy back.
He might not have personally had any fatal skills, but he knew how to delegate, how to make people owe him favors, and what buttons to push to get people to do what he wanted. Over the previous two days, he’d realized, as Oliver Wade had filled his thoughts a great deal, that those qualities could be more important than any others.
If Holland could make the whole crew go to sleep, it would provide a way to get out of the situation without anyone getting hurt. Jack could kill with a thought. Russell could make anyone do what he wanted with just a little push of his mind. Tina could set fire to the room around her and not burn herself, and Gina… well, what Gina could do was probably the most frightening, and not something they discussed all that often. Gina could temporarily bring back the dead.
He needed all of them.
Gina stood and walked over to Addison. His love rubbed a hand over her eyes and looked at the other woman. He hadn’t told Addison what Gina or Jack could do. It was disturbing enough that he knew.
Gina seemed to have come to some sort of decision. “I didn’t want to help you, Addison Wade. When I came in here, I thought, whatever Spence asks me to do, I’m going to say no just to spite the Wades—”
Addison interrupted. “Look, I can’t justify what my grandfather has done…”
Illicit Senses (Illicit Minds Book 1) Page 18