He wouldn’t have believed it possible, that someone like that existed for him. Because of her, he had to question all the other things he’d believed. If Addison was Conditioned, then there was no way that all Conditioned people were doomed for Hell. The divine wouldn’t be that cruel. She was obviously a creature of goodness and light. Maybe that meant he was, too.
Shrugging, he realized that one way or the other, he’d know soon. He’d either go up or down when the time came. There were still some questions he needed answered before that happened.
“Let me ask you a question, if I could.”
William looked up at him, straight in the eyes. “Ask.”
“Have you ever heard of a scenario where a Conditioned man and woman met and they sort of changed each other, even physically? Strange manifestations, like swirling eyes and stuff like that. I’d heard a rumor that such a thing could happen.”
Rhodes smiled. “I haven’t heard about it happening for years, but yes, thirty years ago, when we first opened these places, we saw it start to happen with some of the teenagers. They would connect—grow stronger—and their eyes would change. It was like an external signal of the internal strength.”
“What happened to all of them?” It might have been nice to think about a “what if” scenario while he waited for his time to be up. Actually, he was amazed he’d never heard these stories before. To his knowledge, he’d never seen anyone with swirling eyes walking around Safe Dawn.
“They got to be too strong as a unit. Also, the committee does not want you guys breeding, and something about the connection leads to an almost unstoppable desire to procreate.” Spencer gulped silently. That hadn’t happened with them yet. A baby? What would that have been like?
“So then what did you do about it?”
“We separated them. One stayed here, the other would get sent somewhere else.” The sadness of the world seemed to cross Rhodes’ face. “Once parted, they died off quickly. Heartsickness, even though that was impossible, was the cause of death. I would swear it. Sure, it was always something like pneumonia or the flu, but in actuality it was always—as cheesy as it sounds—a broken heart.”
Spencer’s palms sweated. He wanted to get up and pace even as he made himself stay still. No, that was not acceptable. Addison couldn’t mourn for him until she died. That wasn’t how he wanted to pass on thinking of her. She wouldn’t, couldn’t, let that happen. There was Jeremy to consider. He knew the woman; she would never rest until she’d gotten the committee to free that little boy. Yes, he tried to believe, that would sustain her for a time. His breath came quickly. Then what? What would happen to her after she either succeeded or failed to help Jeremy?
Rhodes stood and moved to the door. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, kid.”
“William—is there any chance you could do me one more favor?”
Laughter hit Rhodes’ eyes and made them glow. “What can I do for you now, Mister Lewis?”
“I want to see Jeremy Wade.” He stood. It was pivotal. “I just rescued the kid. I’d like to see him for ten minutes. I can’t go anywhere. What’s the harm?”
“You don’t have to sell me. I’ll grant you a last request.”
Spencer exhaled loudly. “A million thanks. Rhodes, one more thing.”
William cocked his head to the side. “What’s that, Spence?”
“Can’t you do anything for Jack and Tara? She only did that to save our lives, and Jack killed a Conditioned fugitive who didn’t have rights to life anyway.”
Rhodes’ face fell, showing every year of life on his usually jovial features. “The committee thinks they are too dangerous to live. There’s nothing else I can do.” He turned back to the door before stopping one more time. “You never told me how awful it was hanging out with Addison Wade. Was she a nightmare?”
Spencer hid his grin. “It was something out of a dream, that’s for sure.”
Rhodes sighed, a glint coming to his eyes that Spencer had never noticed before. Anxiety peaked at the top of his spine. Rhodes had always held a reputation for being ruthless and brutal. The stories were that when the institutions were first opening, he’d killed anyone who hadn’t complied with his orders.
“You were right not to come to me.” Rhodes turned on his heel to face the door. “I would have told you Addison Wade—or any of the Wades—aren’t worth the trouble. I wish I didn’t have the kid here. He’s going to be nothing but trouble just by existing.”
“So you admit it, then—you wouldn’t have helped me?”
“Honestly, no, I would have forbidden you to pursue it any further and you’d have disobeyed. As much as I love you kid, I would have had the whole lot of you put down earlier than today.”
Spencer wasn’t sure what, if anything there was to say about that. He would have been scared, except he was already doomed for death. What more could the man do to him?
Hours later, when the guards finally came to get him to take him to Jeremy, he was still amused over that comment. Rhodes had nodded, missing the subtlety. If everything went well, Spencer would be able to give Jeremy some quick advice and assure his aunt did nothing to harm herself after he was gone.
The room where they put the new juveniles was bright and cheery. It had to be. The kids endured hours of physical and mental testing every day for a year before they were released into the enclosed juvenile hall where they would remain until they were eighteen. During that time, they’d learn to read and do basic math as well as some other “necessary” schooling. They’d also be taught a useful trade. Spencer had thrived at the textile work and failed in the license plate making. It hadn’t mattered. As a dark space mover, he hadn’t had to participate in the adult slave labor that went on inside the walls. He’d made money for Safe Dawn using his abnormal skills.
Stepping into the room, with its yellow walls and star painted ceilings, was like walking into his past. Twenty-six years earlier, he and Roman had been dragged in kicking and screaming. Well, he’d been crying. Roman had been kicking and screaming. He’d climbed into Roman’s bed that night and held on to his five-year-old big brother like he had all the answers in the world, like he could make all the monsters go away.
What would Roman think about his death? Spencer shrugged. What did it matter?
Jeremy sat removed from the three other children in the room. One little boy, dark haired, and two redheaded girls—sisters, he would guess—sat around a table coloring together. Some of the Conditioned considered “safe” enough had designations of caretaker or teacher to the children. None of them were around at the moment. Maybe that had been on purpose. Rhodes wouldn’t want to give him access to any adult contact when all he’d promised him was ten minutes with Jeremy.
Jeremy sat on his bed, staring through the bars at the world outside. Spencer sat down next to the little boy.
“Hey, buddy. I don’t know if you remember me. I’m Spencer. I’m a friend of your auntie.”
Jeremy turned to look at him, and Spencer got a view of the needle marks on his arms and the bruising on his cheeks. The tests had begun quickly. They must not have wanted to waste any time. His eyes were red, and tear stained streaks ran down his chubby face. Spencer’s heart clenched. He wouldn’t cry in front of the boy; it wouldn’t do any good.
When Jeremy smiled, it almost destroyed him. That mouth was all Addison—or maybe it was a Wade trait, not that he’d ever seen Oliver smile—and he looked so much like his aunt in that moment that it hurt.
“I remember you. You were there when Auntie came, before they took me away from her again.” The little boy turned to look out the window. “She’ll be coming soon.”
“No.” Spencer’s voice broke, and he cleared his throat. “She won’t, buddy.”
Jeremy turned, regarding him with a very adult, proud expression that again must have been a family trait. His blue eyes, shaped differently from his aunt’s, had an entirely different shade with their gray speckles. They looked older than his four
years.
“She’s coming.”
Okay, he wasn’t going to argue with a four year old. He didn’t have much time, and the kid would learn fast enough the realities of his new life. “Well, until that happens, I thought maybe I could give you some advice.”
“Sure.” Jeremy regarded him with interest shining in his eyes.
“Don’t eat the meatloaf. It’s gross. William Rhodes has a big heart. Make friends with him and then with whoever takes his place. Try to make friends; they will get you through the days here. The housing lottery, when you get old enough to get in it, is completely rigged. Give up your food rations for a good room—you won’t regret it. Learn fast and don’t make trouble. The guards are not your friends. They’ll turn on you for a pack of cigarettes. And last but not least…”
“Yes?”
“Don’t lose yourself in here. You don’t get what that means yet, but try to remember I said that. If you do see your aunt, can you give her a message for me?”
“You’re going to see her, too.”
Spencer laughed. “I’m going to have to argue with you on that point. I’m not going to see her. That much I’m sure of. Anyhow, can you tell her she’s not to follow me where I’m going until she’s good and gray-haired? Can you tell her that?”
“Auntie has blonde hair, not gray hair.”
He ruffled Jeremy’s golden locks, which matched his aunt’s. “I know that.”
The door opened and a guard stood in the entrance. “Time’s up, Lewis.”
“All right.” Wow, it had gone quickly. “Take care, little man.”
He didn’t look at Jeremy again as he walked out of the room. He couldn’t.
Losing his cool wouldn’t do him any good anymore. The cards had been dealt and his hand was up. There was no use obsessing over things he’d never have. The memories would have to be enough.
Twenty-Four
Addison waited by the secret door. The trepidation she’d felt the first time she’d entered the building was gone. She was focused. The door opened, and she grinned. It was Russell. Fate was clearly on her side.
“Addison,” he hissed. “What are you doing here? I’m supposed to be waiting for a woman who paid twenty K for a sex party. Not that anyone here feels like doing that just now…”
“It’s me. I’m the girl who paid the money.” She grabbed his arm and walked inside, pulling him close to her so she could whisper and not be overheard. “Are there guards around?”
“At the end of the tunnel, waiting for us.”
“Listen to me closely. Do you want to get out of here?”
After a few agonizing moments, he spoke. “More than you can possibly imagine.”
“I can’t free the hundreds of people who live here, but I can take care of our little group if you help me.”
“What do you need me to do?”
“Well, first I need you to get me past the guard who’s waiting at the end of the hall.”
Russell pulled her into his embrace, wrapping an arm around her like a lover might do; she was taut up against his body as they walked through the darkness. Coming into the light of the courtyard, she blinked several times to clear her vision.
“Keep your head down just in case anyone recognizes you,” Russell hissed in her ear.
Addison did as he instructed. He pulled her even closer, blocking her from the guards’ view.
“I’ve got her, guys; did you get your money?”
Two voices assented that they had while they whistled and hooted at Russell, telling him to “have a good time” and “give it to her good.” When they’d traveled far enough away, she pulled out of his embrace.
“Why do you do it? Why do you have sex with those women?”
“Not all of us are Spencer. Most of us will never get out of here to meet our own version of Addison Wade. Some of us have to take it where we can get it.”
Her head spun, and she didn’t want to dwell on what he’d just said. She hated to think of Spencer alone in the world, or any of them for that matter. “Where are Spencer, Jeremy and the others?”
“Jeremy is in the juvenile ward. Everyone else is scattered around except Spencer, Tara and Jack, who are all awaiting their executions.”
The news made her blood turn cold. She’d heard her grandfather make the proclamation about putting Spencer down. Evidently, he’d meant it.
When she’d composed herself, she answered him. “Tara and Jack were sentenced because people died when they used their powers.”
It wasn’t a question. She knew the committee rules; she just needed to say it out loud to mark the moment as the exact spot she gave up any hope that her grandfather could ever change. He’d turned in his great-grandson. She’d hoped in her deepest heart that he’d done it because others had been there to witness it, that if they’d been alone, he would have let her leave with Jeremy. She knew better now. He’d condemned three people to death for saving the little boy. It wasn’t that he was heartless. It was that he was devoted, in an almost religious sense, to the system he’d helped to create. He couldn’t possibly see that there was any other way to live or that anything might be inherently wrong with the way things were.
“We need Holland, and we’re going to need a distraction.”
Russell laughed. “He’s always good for those.”
Moments later, enclosed in Holland’s quarters, which were significantly smaller than Jack and Spencer’s had been, she explained her plan. It was simple. They needed to create a major distraction. Something large enough that William Rhodes temporarily lost control of his power dampening. Then Holland would knock out some of the guards, giving them the chance to free everybody and make their escape. If it came to it, Russell could use his abilities to convince the guards they wanted to let them walk out the front gate.
Holland nodded, his face serious. “It’s so simple it might work.”
“Assuming you want to leave, of course.” She’d already considered the idea that maybe everyone wouldn’t want to. There was no way she was going to drag anyone out of Safe Dawn who didn’t want to go.
“I want to go, no question about that whatsoever.”
That was a relief. Her plan, now that Jack and Tara were out of the picture, was going to rely entirely on Holland and Russell and what little she’d be able to contribute.
Holland regarded Russell. “Go get Minnie, Marisa and Laurel. Tell them to stay by the door. I’ll go with Addison to the juvenile hall and the execution wing. After you stick them by the gate, go do your thing on the guards watching Gina.”
Russell raised an eyebrow. “Who put you in charge?”
Addison rolled her eyes. “No one. I’m in charge.” She smiled, touching Holland’s arm. “However, I appreciate the help. Let’s do what he suggests.”
Russell nodded, but his eyes told her he was pissed about having to listen to Holland. She sighed. If they managed to pull this off, it was going to be hard keeping them all from exploding with temper during their escape.
She needed to get him out.
Following close behind Holland, she kept her head down and avoided eye contact with anyone she saw. “Holland, what are we going to do for the distraction?”
“I don’t suppose you have any matches?”
“Ah… no, I’m sorry. I didn’t think to bring any.”
“I didn’t think so.” He shrugged. “Then we’re going to have to get the only one of us who can set fires.”
“But I thought Tara was trapped, awaiting a death sentence?”
“She is.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Even though that’s true, she’s the only one of us who can work around Rhodes’ power blockage for long enough to create a large enough distraction to break through the dampening. I mean, you saw what happened when I tried to work on you inside the walls here—I screwed it up because I couldn’t get proper control.”
“How are we going to get to her?”
They arrived at a set of locked steel doors. Hol
land took a deep breath, smiled at her, then knocked on the door.
“You didn’t answer my question. How are we going to get to her?”
“As soon as they answer, I’m going to start throwing punches. Get ready to hide or fight. Your choice.”
The door swung open, and a guard who looked to be in his fifties with gray hair and a visible potbelly stepped through. “Holland, you know you can’t be here.”
“Yeah, I know. You’ve always been decent to me. Sorry about this, my man.”
Without another word, Holland swung his large fist at the guard’s head. Not seeing it coming, the older man did nothing to block Holland’s attack and crumpled to the floor like a sack of potatoes.
Holland turned back to her. “It won’t all be that easy.” He raised an eyebrow.
“Coming?”
She nodded. “Absolutely.”
For a section of Safe Dawn that was reserved for people “warranting death,” the hallway was remarkably quiet and serene, reminding Addison more of a hospital wing than a jail. Holland directed her to the left. They turned the corner and ran into another group of guards. There were three, all much younger than the first guard had been and each one shouting that they shouldn’t be there.
Without another thought, she jumped on top of the smallest of the three. He’d been unprepared for her assault and flailed around as she grabbed his ears and scratched his face with her fingernails. He pushed and pulled at her, trying to get her off him. Holland had the audacity to laugh at her as he easily knocked out one and then the other guard in quick movements. Having finished, he stood back as if he were watching a show as she tried to take her guard down.
“Little help here might be appreciated.”
Illicit Senses (Illicit Minds Book 1) Page 25