Jonah and Co.

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Jonah and Co. Page 9

by Dornford Yates


  CHAPTER VIII

  HOW ADELE BOUGHT A BOTTLE OF PERFUME WHICH HAD NO SMELL, AND I CUTEULALIE DEAD

  "I must have a paper," said Berry. "I haven't read the news forfifty-five hours, and--and anything may have happened. Supposing therouble and the shilling have changed over. The tie I'm wearing 'ld beworth about six hundred pounds."

  I set down my cup and picked up the receiver.

  "So you're really off to-morrow, are you?" said an attractive voice._Well, don't miss Fuenterrabia. It's only five miles out of your way,and it's worth seeing. They sell most lovely scent in the Calle delPuerto. Ask for their 'Red Violets.'_

  With a chunk I was disconnected, and a second later a bureau clerk hadpromised to procure an English paper and send it up to my room.

  Less than an hour ago we had arrived at San Sebastian--according toplan. A very handsome run had ended becomingly enough in the drive ofa palatial hotel, and, though it was growing dusk as we had slippedinto the town, we had seen quite enough of our surroundings toappreciate that, where Nature had succeeded so admirably, man had by nomeans failed.

  And now we were taking tea in my sister's bedroom and discussing whatBerry called "the order of going in."

  "We'd better decide right away," said my brother-in-law, "to stay herea week. It's perfectly obvious that two nights are going to be noearthly."

  "All you're thinking of," said Daphne, "is the Casino. I knew it wouldbe like this."

  "All right," replied her husband; "look at the guide-book. We haven'tseen this place yet, and there are twelve excursions--all highlyrecommended. We can cut out Tolosa, because I see we did that thisafternoon. That was where the child lobbed the jam-tin into the car.I fancy I passed the cathedral when I was chasing him. Any way, Ishall say so."

  "I am told," said I, "that Fuenterrabia's worth seeing."

  "It's the show place about here," said Jonah. "Old as the hills.That'll take a morning alone."

  I yawned.

  "There's a shop there," I said, "in the Calle del Puerto, where theysell some wonderful scent. I believe it's all good, but their 'RedViolets' is simply ravishing."

  The girls pricked up their ears.

  "Who told you all this?" said Adele.

  "I can't imagine," said I truthfully. "But she had a nice voice. Youknow--one of those soft mellifluous ones, suggesting that she's boredto distraction with everything except you." I took out a cigarette andlooked about me. "Anyone got a match?" I added.

  "Blow the matches," said my sister. "When did all this happen?"

  "This afternoon," said I. "I'd always heard that San Sebastian----"

  "Is she staying here?" said Adele.

  "In the hotel? She didn't say."

  "But how did you come to speak to her?" demanded my wife.

  "I didn't," I said. "She spoke to me. I tell you I've always heardthat San----"

  "And you communed with her?" said Berry. "With your lawful wifeworking herself to death on the first floor unpacking your sponge-bag,you exchanged secrets of the toilet with a honey-toned vamp? Oh, youvicious libertine.... Will she be at the Casino to-night?"

  "I didn't ask her."

  Berry raised his eyes to heaven.

  "You don't know her name; you never asked where she's staying, andyou've fixed nothing up." He sighed heavily. "Some people don'tdeserve to get on."

  "I hadn't time," I pleaded. "We got on to scent almost at once."

  "Why scent?" said Jonah. "Or is that an indiscreet question?"

  "Oh, that's easy," said Berry. "The scent was on the handkerchief hepicked up. It's been done before."

  "I don't understand," said Jill.

  "I'm glad you don't, darling. One expert in the family is bad enough."He nodded at me. "I used to think I was useful, till I'd seen thatMormon at work. Talk about getting off.... Why, he'd click at ajumble sale."

  "Would he really?" said Adele interestedly. "I'd no idea he was soenterprising."

  Berry shrugged his shoulders.

  "My dear," he said, "he's a blinkin' marvel. Where you and I 'ld bestanding outside a stage-door with a nervous grin and a bag of jujubes,he'd walk straight up TO a Marchioness, say, 'I feel I must tell youthat you've got a mouth in a million,' and--_get away with it_. Butthere you are. In the present case----"

  "--for once in a way," said Adele, "the lady seems to have made therunning." She turned to me with a smile. "Well, Juan me lad, tell ussome more about her. Was she fair or dark?"

  I nodded at Berry.

  "Better ask him," I said. "He knows more about it than I do."

  "She was dark," said Berry unhesitatingly. "A tall willowy wench, withContinental eyes and an everlasting pout. Am I right, sir?"

  "You may be," said I. "Not having seen the damsel...."

  There was an outburst of incredulous objection.

  "Sorry," I added, "but the liaison was conducted upon the telephone.Just now. When I ordered the paper. The lady had no idea she wasgiving me counsel. So, you see, we're both blameless. And now may Ihave a match?"

  "Well, I am disappointed," announced Adele. "I quite thought we wereoff."

  "So did I," said Daphne. "And you never even---- Oh, it's spoiled mytea."

  Even Jill protested that I had "led them on."

  In some dudgeon, I began to wonder if I should ever understand women.

  * * * * *

  An hour and a half had slipped by.

  Ready for dinner with twenty minutes to spare, I had descended to thelounge. There a large writing-table had suggested the propriety ofsending a postcard to the sweetest of aunts, who, in the absence ofevidence to the contrary, invariably presumed our death after fourteendays.

  There being no postcards available, I started a letter....

  For a page and a half my pen ran easily enough, and then, for no reasonwhatever, my epistolary sense faltered, laboured, and ceased tofunction.

  I re-read what I had written, touched up the punctuation, and fingeredmy chin. I reviewed the past, I contemplated the future, I regarded myfinger-nails--all to no effect. There was simply nothing to say.Finally I rose and went in search of a waiter. There was, I felt, achance that a Martini might stimulate my brain....

  I returned to my seat to find that, while I had been gone, a heiferfrom another herd had come to drink at the pool.

  Immediately upon the opposite side of the writing-table sat one of theprettiest women that I have ever seen. Her colouring was superb.Beneath a snow-white skin all the wild beauty of a mountain-rose glowedin her cheeks; each time she moved, a flashing mystery of red andgolden lights blazed from the auburn crown piled on her head; starsdanced an invitation in the great grey eyes. Her small straight nose,the exquisite line of her face, her fairy mouth alone would haveredeemed the meanest countenance. A plain black velvet dress, cutrather high at the throat, but leaving her lovely arms bare from theshoulder, and a complete absence of jewellery, showed that my lady knewhow pictures should be framed....

  With an effort I bent to my letter. From being difficult, however, thecomposition of another two pages of coherent prose had becomeformidable. Turning to the past, I could remember nothing. Lookinginto the future, I found myself blind. As for the present, I feltinstinctively that a description of the curve of my _vis-a-vis'_ mouthwould be out of place and might be misunderstood.

  I observed suddenly that my lady had stopped writing.

  After a moment she read over what she had written and put in twocommas. Then she put a dash at the end of her last sentence. Such anaddition had not occurred to me. For what it was worth, I adopted itsurreptitiously. When I looked up, the tips of four pointed fingerswere being regarded with some severity. Finally the girl laid down herpen, and, propping her chin on two ridiculous fists, stared dismallyupon the neutral zone between our respective blotting pads.

  "Have you dealt with the weather?" said I.

  The stars, which had stopped dancing, leape
d again into life.

  "Fully," she said.

  "And the place?"

  She nodded.

  "And the people staying in the hotel?"

  "I've just said they're all very dull."

  I wrote rapidly. Then--

  "'The people here,'" I read, "'are nearly all very dull.'"

  For a moment she looked at me. Then she picked up her pen.

  "How," she demanded, with a dazzling smile, "do you spell 'nearly'?"

  "Only one 'r'," I replied. "Same as 'adorable.'"

  'Nearly' went down--rather shakily.

  I pulled up my cuffs.

  "'Spanish furniture,'" I said, following my pen, "'is like theSpanish--on the large side. Everything is too big.'"

  "'--too big,'" said my lady, with her head on one side. "You see, myconfidence in you is supreme."

  "One moment," said I. "There's only one 'w' in 'sweet,' isn't there?"

  "Yes," she said, bubbling. "Same as 'awful.'"

  I cleared my throat.

  "'The table, for instance,'" I continued, "'at which we--I am writing,is simply huge. If it were only half as wide, it would be muchmore--er--convenient.'"

  The two white shoulders began to shake with laughter.

  I thought very swiftly. Then--

  "New paragraph," I said.

  "Half a page more," breathed my companion.

  I frowned.

  "'They have,'" I announced, "'quite a good Casino here.'"

  Our two pens recorded the statement.

  "'The great thing to do is to go there after dinner.'"

  The custom was reported in duplicate.

  "'But I'm not going to-night,'" said the girl, "'because----'"

  "But----"

  "'--I've got to do my packing.'"

  I groaned. Then--

  "'But I shan't go to-night,'" I declared, "'because I'm going to help afriend pack.'" I looked up cheerfully. "Yes?"

  "'I shall look forward," she said, smiling, "'to seeing you again--sometime.'"

  "'Soon.'"

  The pretty head went to one side.

  "'With my love,'" she said quietly.

  "'Your devoted servant,'" said I.

  For a second my lady hesitated. Then she signed a name, crammed herletter into an envelope, and rose to her feet.

  The stars in the wonderful eyes had become misty, and there was astrange wistful curve to the exquisite lips.

  For an instant we looked at one another. Then--

  "Just 'Eulalie,'" she said.

  The next moment she was gone.

  I turned to see Daphne, Adele, and Berry a dozen paces away....

  I advanced with what composure I could summon.

  "I have been endeavouring," I said, "to atone for this afternoon."

  There was a frosty silence. Then--

  "So I see," said my sister icily.

  Berry passed a hand across his eyes.

  "Ugh!" he said shuddering. "I've gone all goosegogs--I mean,gooseflesh. Will she be at the Casino to-night?"

  My wife set a hand upon my arm.

  "I must admit," she said, smiling, "that she had a mouth in a million."

  * * * * *

  By half-past ten the next morning we were again upon the road.

  The almanack swore it was March, but here was a summer's day. Not acloud was floating in the great blue sky: down to the tenderest breeze,the winds were sleeping: the sun was in all his glory. For earthherself, the stains of winter were being done away. Out of thecountry's coat the greys and browns, lately so prominent, were fadingnotably. As thick as fast, the green was coming in. As we rounded abend and sailed down a long sweet hill towards the frontier, the roadwas all dappled with the shadows of youngster leaves.

  Our way seemed popular. Car after car swept by, waggons and lorrieswent rumbling about their business, now and again two of the GuardiaCivil--well-horsed, conspicuously armed and point-device in theiraccoutrements--sat stiff, silent, and vigilant in the mouth of an oddby-road.

  Come to the skirts of Irun, we switched to the left, and five minuteslater we were at Fuenterrabia.

  A city with a main street some four yards wide, keeping a king'spalace, if hatchments be evidence, remembering more dukes thanshopkeepers, its house-walls upholding a haphazard host of balconiesand overhung with monstrous eaves--a pocket stronghold, set on the lipof Spain, staring at sea and land, each sunlit rood of which is fatwith History--a lovely star upon the breast of Fame, chosen by Englishpoets to enrich their songs, Fuenterrabia is among the crown jewels ofEurope.

  We thrust up the Calle Mayor and into the Plaza de Armas. There we putthe cars in the shade and alighted eagerly to view the town at closequarters.

  "Look at that little boy," cried Jill, "eating an apple. Where's thecamera? Get him to stand in the sun, Boy, against that old wall."

  "That's right," said Berry. "And there's a dog scratching himself.Ask him to devil his tenants beside the Post Office. If we get a goodpicture, we can call it _Local Affection, or The Old, Old Story_ andsend it to _The Field_."

  To humour my cousin's whim, I approached a dirty-looking child....

  Despite my assurances of good-will, however, the urchin retired as Iadvanced, all the time consuming his apple with a nervous energy, whichsuggested at once a conviction that I had my eye upon his fruit and adetermination to confound my strategy. The apple was dwindling fast,and, redoubling my protests, I quickened my pace. For a second the boyhesitated. Then he took two last devastating bites, flung the core inmy face, and took to his heels.

  Pursuit being out of the question, I returned furiously to the others,to find them, as was to be expected, quite weak with laughter.

  "It w-was good of you, Boy," declared Jill, tearfully. "And I got sucha precious picture--just as he threw it."

  "I suppose you know," I said stiffly, "that he hit me upon the nose."

  "There must," said Berry, "have been some misunderstanding. TheSpaniard's courtesy is proverbial. You're sure you weren't rude tohim, brother?"

  "Certain," said I grimly.

  "Dear, dear," said my brother-in-law, opening a guide-book. "It's mostmysterious. Just listen to this. _The stranger is at first apt to becarried away by the obliging tone of society, by the charmingspontaneity of manner, and by the somewhat exaggerated politeness ofthe people he meets_. There now. Were you carried away at all? Imean, if you were----"

  "I was not," said I.

  Berry returned to the book.

  "_He should return these civilities in kind, but he should avoidturning the conversation on serious matters, and should, above all,refrain from expressing an opinion on religious or politicalquestions_. I do hope you didn't...."

  I shook my head.

  "Then," said Berry, "should we meet the child again, I shall cut himdead. And that's that. And now let's go and find a dairy. You'll bewanting a pick-me-up."

  For an hour and a half we went about the city. We marked her bulwarks,we told her towers, we observed her mansions, we strolled upon herterraces, we enjoyed her prospects.

  Last of all, we visited the Calle del Puerto. Before we had taken adozen paces along the aged alley, a faint odour of perfume began toassert itself, and a few seconds later we were standing before a tinyshop, scrupulously sweet and clean to look upon, absurdly suggestive ofthe patronage of marionettes. A curtain of apple-green canvas wasswaying in the low doorway, while an awning of the same stuff guarded apeepshow window, which was barely three feet long and less than onefoot high. Herein, ranged behind a slab of fine plate-glass, stoodthree plain, stoppered phials, one rose-coloured, one green, and one afaint yellow. Below, on a grey silk pillow, was set a smallvellum-bound book. This was open. In capitals of gold upon the pagesdisplayed were two words only--PARFUMS FRANCAIS.

  The effect was charming.

  We gathered about the window, ejaculating surprise.

  "_Urbs in rure_," said Jonah. "And then you're wr
ong. The Rue de laPaix isn't in it."

  Which is a description I cannot better.

  Daphne lifted the _portiere_, and we followed her in.

  Passing suddenly out of the brilliant sunshine, we could at first seenothing. Then gradually the interior of the shop took shape.

  There was no counter, but an oblong mahogany glass-topped table,standing in the centre of the polished floor, evidently was dischargingthat office. Upon this stood three other phials, similar to thosedisplayed in the window, but fitted with sprays instead of stoppers.In front of each a grey gold-lettered slip of silk, laid between theglass and the mahogany, declared its contents--ROSE BLEUE ... LYS NOIR... JASMIN GRIS.

  The room was very low, and the walls were panelled. Upon these, exceptfor that framing the door and window, were rows of shelves. On these,at decent intervals, stood phials of four different sizes. To judgefrom the colour of their glass, each wall was devoted to one of thethree scents. That facing us was green, that on our leftrose-coloured, that upon our right a faint yellow. A black curtain ina corner suggested a doorway leading to another part of the house. Theair, naturally enough, was full of perfume.

  We stared about us in silence.

  After waiting perhaps five minutes, peering unsuccessfully behind thecurtain, raising our voices in talk, and finally rapping upon the tablewithout attracting attendance, we decided to return to where we hadleft the cars and visit the shop again on our way out of the town.

  As we came to the Plaza, the clock of the great church announced thehour. A quarter to one.

  "Good Heavens!" cried Daphne, checking the time by her wrist-watch."I'd no idea it was so late. And I left word for Evelyn to ring me upat the hotel at one o'clock." We made a rush for the cars. "Can it bedone, Jonah?"

  "Only by air," said my cousin. "Outside a track, thirteen miles infourteen minutes is just a shade too thick; Still, there's nothing thematter with the road after Irun, and Evelyn may be delayed gettingthrough."

  He swung himself into Ping and started her up. My sister and Jillscrambled aboard while he was turning her round. As he headed for theCalle Mayor--

  "Stop!" shrieked his sister. "The scent, Jonah, the scent. We've gotto go back."

  Jonah threw out the clutch.

  "We'll get that!" cried Adele. "You go on, and we'll follow."

  "Right."

  The next moment Ping had dropped out of sight.

  It was perhaps five minutes later that, after conjuring Berry to staywhere he was and move the car for nobody, I assisted my wife on to thepavement.

  When Fuenterrabia was planned, an eleven-feet-six wheel-base was notconsidered. To wheedle Pong to the mouth of the Calle del Puerto hadbeen a ticklish business, and I had berthed her deliberately with aneye to our departure for the city gate, rather than to the convenienceof such other vehicles as might appear. Besides, for my brother-in-lawto have essayed manoeuvres in such surroundings would have been askingfor trouble.

  As Adele and I hastened along the street--

  "We must look sharp," I insisted. "She's half across the fairway. Ifanybody with anything broader than a mule feels they can't wait,there'll be murder done."

  We came to the shop, panting....

  The place was just as we had left it, and--there was no one there.

  I looked round impatiently.

  "What on earth," I began, "is the good of a----"

  As I spoke, the curtain in the corner was pushed to one side, and aFrench girl entered the room.

  Her manner was most curious.

  For a moment she hesitated, as though she would turn and fly. Then,with her eyes upon Adele, she moved slowly forward. She seemed to bemaking an effort to come and serve us. That she was most apprehensivewas perfectly plain....

  Half-way between curtain and table she stopped. Then she put a hand toher throat.

  "_Madame_ desires something?"

  "Some scent, please," said Adele reassuringly.

  Her cheerful tone appeared to encourage the girl. And when my wifepointed to the green phial and asked to be sprayed with its contents, Icould have sworn her attitude was that of relief.

  In a flash she had produced a small square of linen. This she handedto Adele.

  "Smell, _Madame_. See, it is scentless. _Pardon_." She sprayed itwith scent. "_Voila_. That is the 'Black Lily.'"

  Adele passed it to me. The scent was exquisite.

  "It's delicious," said Adele.

  "Yes, _Madame_, it is good. Will _Madame_ sample the others?"

  "If you please."

  Fresh squares of linen were produced, offered for inspection, andsprayed....

  Each perfume seemed more ravishing than its predecessor. To test theworth of this impression, we reverted to the 'Black Lily.' One breathof this satisfied us that it was the best of the lot. To be quitesure, we smelt the 'Blue Rose,' and were instantly convinced of itssuperiority to its fellows. A return to the 'Grey Jasmine' persuadedus that there was only one scent in the shop. It was, indeed,impossible to award the palm. Each perfume had some irresistiblevirtue which the others lacked.

  When, at last, Adele implored me to help her to a decision, I spoke tothe point.

  "There's only one thing to do. We can't wait now, so have a big bottleof each. Then you and Jill and Daphne can fight it out at home."

  Adele asked the price of the scents.

  "They are all the same price, _Madame_. The large bottle, one hundred_pesetas_--the others, seventy, fifty, and thirty, according to size."

  "Very well. I'll take a large bottle of each."

  "Thank you, _Madame_."

  A prolonged and vicious croak from the end of the street argued thatBerry's patience was wearing thin, but to have asked the girl to makehaste would have been supererogatory.

  In a trice three phials had been taken down from their shelves, andthree stout silk-lined cases, of the pattern of safety-match boxes, hadbeen produced. The phial went into its tray, the tray into its sheath,the case complete into a sheet of rough grey paper, and the whole wasgirt with cord in next to no time.

  As the last knot was being tied Adele touched me upon the arm.

  "I almost forgot," she said. Then she turned to the girl. "I havebeen told to ask for your 'Red Violets.'"

  The scissors the girl was using fell to the floor. As she recoveredthem--

  "Certainly, _Madame_," she whispered, laying a trembling hand upon thecurtain behind.

  She disappeared, to reappear almost immediately with a packageprecisely similar to those she had just made up. She placed it withthe others.

  "Oh," said Adele, "but you haven't----"

  A perfect hurricane of croaks, mingled with cries of anger, interruptedher.

  "Never mind," I cried, gathering up the parcels. "How much is it now?Four hundred, I suppose."

  As I was counting the notes, a yell of anguish in Berry's unmistakableaccents fell upon my ears.

  I threw the money upon the table and bolted out of the shop with Adeleat my heels....

  As we came to the corner, I ran full tilt into--Eulalie. For aninstant our eyes met, but she looked away pointedly, slipped to oneside, and passed on....

  Then--

  "_Obstaculos_ to you, sir!" roared Berry. "Look at my wing.... Yes, Isee the cabriolet. But what of that? It's perfectly happy.... No, it_didn't_ want to get by. And if it had---- Oh, go and push yourselfoff somewhere." Here he caught sight of me. "See what this greasypantaloon's done? I told him he hadn't room, but he wouldn't wait.And now he's shoving it on to that cabriolet.... Oh, why can't I speakSpanish? I'd give him earache."

  I thrust our packages into the fold of the hood and ran to examine thewing. Happily the damage was slight. I announced this relievedly.

  "I daresay it is," raged Berry, as we resumed our seats. "What Iobject to is the poisonous hostility of the brute. He blinkin' wellmeant to do it."

  "Dear, dear," said Adele, bubbling. "There must have been somem
isunderstanding. The Spaniard's courtesy is proverbial."

  "Exactly," said I. "The stranger is at first apt to be carried away bythe exaggerated politeness of the----"

  "You may be," said Berry, "as blasphemous as you like, but, for thelove of the home for little children, let's get out of this town."

  I let in the clutch....

  We were passing out of the beautiful armoried gateway, when anapproaching peasant signalled to us to stop, and pointed excitedly backthe way we had come. The fellow's manner suggested that we had droppedsomething.

  I pulled up the car, opened my door, and jumped out.

  As I did so, a breathless Eulalie appeared upon the other side of thecar.

  "I never thought I should catch you," she said uncertainly. "My cargot mixed up with that waggon, so I chanced it and ran. And, now I'mhere, I hardly know how to tell you...." She addressed herself toAdele. "But I fancy you've got my scent--'Red Violets.' It'srather--rather special. They only make it by request. And a friend ofmine had ordered a bottle for me. It was put ready for me to call for,and, as far as I can make out, they've given it to you by mistake.I'm--I'm afraid I'm asking an awful lot, but might I have it? I'mleaving Spain altogether in half an hour, so I shan't have anotherchance."

  I never remember feeling so utterly disillusioned. Recalling thetelephone conversation of the day before, I was frankly disgusted.Such sharp practice as this smacked of a bargain sale.

  The scent was ours. We had bought it fairly. Besides, it had _not_been reserved. If either Adele or Eulalie had to go empty away, Lawand Equity alike were pronouncing in favour of my wife.

  Adele was speaking.

  "Oh, certainly. Boy, will you...?" I stepped into the car and thrusta hand into the fold of the hood. "I shall know which it is. Thepaper it's wrapped in is different. There's a line running through it,and the others were plain." I plucked out a case and gave it to her toexamine. "That's right." Gravely she handed it to Eulalie. "I'msorry you had to run so," she added gently.

  The other shrugged her shoulders.

  "I caught you," she said simply, "and that's the great thing." Sheglanced over her shoulder. "And here comes my car. I'm really mostawfully grateful...."

  With a swish the cabriolet swept alongside, skidded with locked wheelsupon the pavement, and fetched up anyhow with its bonnet across ourbows. It was a piece of driving for which the chauffeur ought to havebeen flogged.

  "...most awfully grateful," repeated Eulalie, swinging the case by itscord. "You--you might have made it much harder...."

  The next moment she was in the cabriolet...

  Dazedly I watched the latter float out of sight.

  "B-but she hasn't paid," I stammered. "She's never given us the money.Four pounds that bottle cost...."

  We stared at one another in dismay.

  At length--

  "Stung," said Berry. "But what a beautiful bit of work! Four pounds'worth of scent for the asking. No unpleasantness, no sleight of hand,no nothing. Just a glad eye last night and a two-minute run thismorning. I don't wonder she was grateful."

  * * * * *

  We had spent the afternoon traversing San Sebastian, and had found theplace good--so good, in fact, that it was past six before we returnedto the hotel.

  I followed Adele upstairs rather wearily.

  "I shall never get over this morning," I said. "Never." Arrived atour door, I fitted the key to the lock. "To think that I stood thereand let you hand---- Oh, blast! We've left the scent in the car."

  "So we have," said Adele. "What an awful nuisance! I knew we should.It's fatal to put anything in that hood. You don't see it."

  I pushed open the door.

  "As soon as I've changed," I said, switching on the light. "I'll goand----"

  The sentence was never finished.

  Had I been told that a cyclone had struck our bedroom, I should nothave been surprised.

  Adele and I stood staring at such a state of disorder as I had neverdreamed of.

  The bed had been dragged from the wall, and its clothes distributedabout the room; the wardrobe and cupboards stood open: every drawer inthe room was on the floor: our clothing had been flung, like soiledlinen, into corners: my wife's dressing-case had been forced, and nowlay open, face downward, upon the carpet, while its contents sprawledupon a mattress: a chair had fallen backwards into the emptycabin-trunk, and the edge of a sheet had caught on one of its upturnedlegs....

  "Adele! Boy!" The swish of a skirt, and there was my sister behindus. "Our room's been---- Good Heavens, yours is the same! Whatever'sthe meaning of it?"

  Within three minutes two managers and three clerks were on the scene.To do them justice, they were genuinely perturbed. Fresh rooms--amagnificent suite--were put at our disposal: under our own eyes ourbelongings were gathered into sheets and carried to our new quarters:maids were summoned and placed at the girls' service: valets were sentfor: the dressing-case was sent to be repaired: we were begged at ourconvenience to report whether there were any valuables we could notfind, and over and over again we were assured that the management wouldnot rest until the thieves were taken: jointly and severally we wereoffered profound apologies for so abominable an outrage.

  Berry and Jonah, who had been taking the cars to the garage, arrived inthe midst of the removal.

  Upon the circumstances being laid before my brother-in-law, he seemedfor some time to be deprived of the power of speech, and it was onlyupon being shown the contents of a sheet which had just been conveyedby two valets into his wife's bedroom that he at last gave tongue.

  Drawing a pair of dress trousers from beneath a bath towel, a pair ofbrogues, and a box of chocolates, he sobbed aloud.

  "You all," he said brokenly, "do know these trousers: I remember thefirst time ever I did put them on; 'twas on a summer's evening, in thePark...."

  With one accord and some asperity my sister and I requested him todesist.

  "All right," he said. "But why worry? I know there's nothing valuablegone, because in that case I should have been told long ago. We'vebeen shocked and inconvenienced, of course; but, to balance it, we'vegot a topping suite, a private sitting-room thrown in, and a wholefleet of bottle-washers in attendance, all stamping to wash and ironand brush our clothes as they've never been brushed before. Jonah'sand Jill's rooms all right?"

  "Yes."

  "Well, let them move along, any way. Then we shall all be together.And now, if we've got any sense, we shall let this sympathetic crowdstraighten up everything--they're simply bursting for the word'Go!'--and gather round the fire, which I see they've lighted, and talkabout something else."

  This was sound advice.

  A close acquaintance with crime--the feeling that a robber has handledher personal effects, mauled her apparel, trodden her own sanctuary--isbound to jangle a sensitive woman's nerves. The less the girls thoughtupon the matter, the better for them....

  Orders were given, a sofa was drawn towards the hearth, Jonah went toseek some champagne, and I slipped on a coat and left the hotel for thegarage.

  When I returned some twenty minutes later, Adele had discovered a pianoand was playing "Whispering," while the others were dancing with asmuch freedom from care as they might have displayed at a night-club.

  When I laid the scent on the table, the dance died, and Daphne, Adele,and Jill crowded about me.

  "One for each of you," I said. "With my love. But wait one moment."I turned to Adele. "How did you tell the 'Red Violets' from theothers?"

  "It's paper had a line----"

  I pointed to the three parcels.

  "So have they all," I said. "It depends on the way the light strikesit. One moment you see it, and the next you can't."

  My wife examined the packages in turn.

  "You're perfectly right," she said. Then, "Good Heavens!" she cried."Perhaps I gave that woman the wrong one, after all."

  I shrugged my shoulders.
<
br />   "I don't suppose she cared. What's in a name? They're each of themworth four pounds."

  "That's true," said Adele musingly. "Still...."

  We opened them one by one.

  The first was the Black Lily.

  Then came the Grey Jasmine.

  I ripped the paper off the third case and laid it upon the table.

  With my fingers about the cardboard, I paused.

  "And what," said I, "is the betting?"

  "Blue Rose," cried Jill.

  "Red Violets," said Adele.

  I opened the case.

  They were both wrong.

  The tray contained no perfume at all.

  Crammed into the form of a scent-bottle was a dirty huddle ofwash-leather.

  I lifted it out between my finger and thumb.

  The diamond and emerald necklace which lay beneath must have been wortha quarter of a million.

  * * * * *

  "Yes," said the British Vice-Consul, some two hours later, "this littleseaside town is a sort of Thieves' Parlour. Four-fifths of the stuffthat's stolen in Spain goes out of the country this way. As in thepresent case, the actual thief daren't try to cross the frontier, buthe's always got an accomplice waiting at San Sebastian. We know thethieves all right--at least, the police do, but the accomplices are thedevil. Often enough, they go no further than Biarritz, and there areso many of the Smart Set constantly floating between the two towns thatthey're frightfully hard to spot. In fact, about the only chance is totrace their connection with the thief. What I mean is this. A's gotthe jewels and he's got to pass them to B. That necessitates some kindof common denominator. Either they've got to meet or they've got tovisit--at different times, of course--the same bureau....

  "Well, there you are.

  "By the merest accident you stumbled upon the actual communication ofthe password by A to B. The voice you heard upon the telephone wasthat of the original thief, or of his representative. This morning youvisited the actual bureau. I know the place well. My wife's boughtscent there. It's always been a bit of a mystery, but I neversuspected this. I've not the slightest doubt it's been used as abureau for years. Well, in all innocence you gave the password, and inall innocence received the gems. B arrives too late, finds that youhave them, and starts in pursuit. I've no doubt she really ran on tosee which way you'd gone. She couldn't have hoped to catch you onfoot. Of course, she couldn't understand how you'd come by thepassword, but the few words you'd had with her the night before madeher suspect your innocence. Still, she wasn't sure, and that's why herchauffeur fetched up across your bows."

  "You don't mean----"

  "I do indeed. If you hadn't handed them over, they'd have been takenby force....

  "Well, finding that either by accident or design she's been sold a pup,B communicates with the gang, and, while you're out, your rooms areransacked."

  "And I walked," I said, "after dark from the Calle de Miracruz to thishotel with the baubles under my arm."

  The Vice-Consul laughed.

  "The armour of ignorance," he said, "will sometimes turn the keenestwits. The confidence it gives its wearer is proverbial."

  "But why," said Adele, "was the shop-girl so terribly nervous? I mean,if she's used to this sort of traffic...."

  The Vice-Consul fingered his chin.

  Then he picked up the jewels.

  "Perhaps," he said slowly, "perhaps she knew where they came from."

  "Where was that?" said Daphne.

  The Vice-Consul frowned.

  "When I last saw them," he said, "they were in the Royal Treasury."

  * * * * *

  At half-past ten the next morning I was walking upon the golf links ofSt. Jean-de-Luz.

  I was not there of choice.

  Two very eminent detectives--one French and one Spanish--were uponeither side of me.

  We were close to the seventh green, when the Frenchman touched me uponthe arm.

  "Look, sir," he said, pointing. "There is a golf party coming. Theyare making, no doubt, for this spot. When they arrive, pray approachand look at them. If you should recognise anyone, I beg that you willtake off your hat."

  He bowed, and a moment later I was alone.

  I sat down on the turf and took out a cigarette....

  With a plop, a golf ball alighted upon the green, trickled a few feet,and stopped a yard from the hole. Presently, another followed it,rolled across the turf, and struggled into the rough.

  I got upon my feet and strolled towards the green....

  It was a mixed foursome.

  In a cherry-coloured jumper and a white skirt, Eulalie looked prettierthan ever.

  She saw me at once, of course, but she took no notice.

  Her companions glanced at me curiously.

  Putter in hand, Eulalie walked to her ball--the far one--and turned herback to me. After a little consideration, she holed out.

  It was a match shot, and her companions applauded vigorously.

  Eulalie just smiled.

  "I'm always better," she said, "when I've something at stake."

  "And what," said her partner, a large blue-eyed Englishman with a greymoustache, "have you got at stake this time?"

  Eulalie laughed mischievously.

  "If I told you," she said, "you wouldn't believe me."

  Light-heartedly enough, they passed to the eighth tee.

  I watched them go thoughtfully.

  When the detectives came up--

  "I didn't take off my hat," I explained, "because I wasn't sure. ButI'm almost certain that somewhere before I've seen that great bigfellow with the grey moustache."

  My companions were not interested.

 

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