by C. T. Phipps
“Really?” Sam asked. “You think?”
“Out!” I stared at her. “Out of my mind. I don’t want you seeing anything untoward.”
I thought about all the times I’d imagined her naked.
“What the hell!” Sam said.
“Oh, like that surprises you!” I snapped. “You’re totally a MILB.”
“Milb?” Sam asked. “Oh, mother I’d like to bite. Cute.”
“Sorry,” I looked at David. He had big slash marks across his chest. “I’m sorry man, but this is serious life and death stuff. Peoples’ lives are on the line. I would have thought you would have figured that out when you died.”
David looked down. “Being dead sucks.”
Sam walked over to the gun of the dead BOSS agent on the ground. She picked up the Glock 23 and checked the clip. “More than a few shots still left.”
“Useless against the damned,” Thoth said.
“But not Gog,” Sam said, looking up at him. “If I’m going to be a monster then I want to be a monster who kills the one who killed me.”
Thoth gestured to the elevator. “Let us depart then. I have a plan. We need to go confront Enil. He was one of the touchstones I needed to do the ritual that imprisoned Magog and allowed his execution. I have also mentally contacted my strongest allies. If we can persuade Enil that we can protect his family or, if necessary, Gog has already killed him then we can deprive our foe of his strongest agent.”
“Or Enil can just kill us all immediately,” I said.
“Yes,” Thoth said. “That is a possibility.”
“Do you know where Enil sleeps?” I asked.
Some vampires lived like Jackson, having a big ass mansion surrounded by dozens of hangers-on. Most vampires, though, especially the older ones, kept them secret from the rest of the world. Thoth had his apartment in the Apophis, but I knew he had a dozen safe houses spread throughout the city. I also didn’t think I knew about all of them. If Enil had shared his home with Thoth, then he was someone who was a close friend of my creator—possibly even the progenitor of his line.
“Yes,” Thoth said. “I am one of the few.”
I looked at all the cops around us. “Okay, clean up this BOSS agent’s remains and forget everything you know about the past few hours.”
The police all nodded.
“Cool,” I said. “Let’s go to his castle then.”
Thoth grimaced. “Yes, castle.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Enil’s home wasn’t what I expected it to be.
“A goddamn amusement park? Seriously?” I stared at the sight that greeted me as I sat behind the wheel of my Jeep Liberty. “This is where Enil is located?”
“Yes,” Thoth said behind me. “This is his refuge from the sun.”
Halloween Island was still a half-mile away, but I could make out the cheesy cartoon castle, the roller coasters, and the windmill from Frankenstein that I didn’t think any kids would get the reference too. There were numerous billboards leading up to the entrance, all of them sporting classic monster caricatures promising a fangtastic good time (*groan*) for the whole family. There were also stickers at the bottom of each, saying Halloween Island was closed for renovation.
“It gets better,” Mina said, excited. “It’s an abandoned amusement park! The place has been shut down for a year with no sign of being reopened.”
“What is this, Gotham City?” I asked, staring. “We going to meet Harley Quinn here? If so, I call dibs.”
Mmm, Margot Robbie.
“Not a bad comparison,” David said. “We do have a lot of batmen.”
“Very funny,” I said.
“If Enil is not still hunting us then he’s probably returned here for the day,” Thoth said. “We have already run through most of the night.”
“Still got a few hours left,” I said, not at all confident in my answer. “Hopefully, we won’t wake up to all hell breaking loose. Literally.”
“Hopefully,” Thoth replied.
I looked in the rearview mirror of my jeep to get a look at my passengers. Thoth was sitting in the passenger’s seat while Yukie and Mina were in the back. Sam was sitting in the trunk area, clutching her legs and trying not to think about the all-consuming hunger inside her. I’d ordered her not to attack Mina and Yukie, but that was probably the only thing keeping her from attacking.
It was a pretty small group to bring down the world’s second oldest vampire, but I wasn’t sure who else could be trusted. Given a choice between going against Enil and tossing us to the wolves, I had a pretty good idea of which way most vampires would lean—archdemon or no. Frankly, I would have left David and Sam behind if I could have but they couldn’t be trusted not to snack on any tourists.
I heard that, Sam said in my mind.
I’m not hiding it.
I don’t want to kill anybody, Sam replied. Not even Gog.
You’re going to have to. This is part and parcel with vampirism. Every vampire eventually kills. Not even the nicest of us get away without taking a life. We’re a race of murderers, one and all, with the only choice being whether we kill the innocent or the guilty. Me? Personally, I have a fondness for the guilty. Eat of the Evil Doer like Anne Rice’s Lestat.
Lestat killed plenty of innocents, Sam pointed out. Also, you feed on animals.
Don’t ruin the moment, I’m trying to make you feel better.
You’re failing.
Honestly, I wasn’t sure Sam was going to make it. You could usually tell if a vampire was going to adapt or not by how they responded within the first few minutes of their transformation. Melissa was up walking around and able to hold her hunger down around David within her first feeding. Sam was reacting with a lot more anger and fury. She wanted to kill David, eat Mina, eat Yukie, and tear into everyone around her. Sam might say she didn’t want to kill anyone, but she definitely did. If she was lucky, she’d get a handle on it, but if not, then maybe it would be better if she met the sun. One of my first missions as a bellidix had been tracking down a draugr some asshole had made of his dying grandmother. I found her chewing on a family of four just off the highway.
No, I correct myself, Sam said in my head. Now you’re failing.
We took a highway exit and drove right up to the front gates of Halloween Island. I took a look at the amusement park where Enil had apparently set himself up. It was a thoroughly-modern-looking place that had been set up by New Detroit’s vampire investors. The less-than-imaginatively named place was only half-completed with large plastic tarps hanging over the rides as well as buildings.
There was no sign of work being continued, and I suspected no one had done anything in the past year. Of the few sections that were completed, I got the impression it would not be a terribly fun or original place. Families didn’t come to New Detroit to ride roller coasters with their kids, adults came to get away from their responsibilities and get drunk or laid. Both, preferably. It was like that time they tried to make Vegas family friendly before realizing what people wanted from Sin City was to sin. The big difference was you could also gawk at the living dead while you were at it.
“So, why did they never finish this place? Aside from the fact it looks incredibly lame?” I asked, looking for some sign of the BOSS or Wyatt’s group. Thankfully, I didn’t see a single car aside from our own.
“Enil,” Thoth said. “Money had been allocated to provide a family-friendly alternative to the adult’s playground in the heart of the city. However, midway through the project, Enil announced he was taking it as his own and that we were to leave it alone.”
And yes, it was a stupid idea to begin with, Thoth said. No one was listening to me, though. We should have built a synthetic blood factory or a brewery here.
Or both, I suggested. “So why did he want to live here? Other than fulfilling the Scooby-Doo villain thing we’re going on.”
“No one knows,” Thoth said, shrugging. “His previous homes were grand palaces and mansions.�
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Honestly, I wouldn’t have been surprised to find out it was because he wanted to be a Scooby Doo villain. Ancients were damned weird, and I’d met more than my fair share of them. By the time you hit a thousand, you started finding trivial things fascinating. Old Ones spent their unlives getting laid, enjoying being richer than God, and playing petty power games with mortals. I wasn’t sure I understood how you could ever grow out of that, but Ancients always did.
“I suppose life is full of little mysteries,” I said, shrugging. “Things that will never be answered. Like what are the little plastic things on the ends of shoelaces?”
“Aglettes,” David said.
I ignored him. “Why doesn’t Batman kill the Joker?”
“Because his parents’ death left him incapable of taking a life and wanting to desperately save everyone,” Sam replied.
I ignored her, still reciting nonsense in hopes I wouldn’t have to actually go in there. “And why do Westerns ignore the fact one in three real-life cowboys were black?”
Thoth surprised me by getting a foul look on his face. “You’re right, that’s just bullshit right there.”
“Uh, my point is—”
“I lived in Virginia City,” Thoth said, growling. “But did you ever see any blacks on Bonanza? Despite the fact we were most of the population? Hell no. The Wild West is like jazz. White people stole it from us.”
“Hey, you still have jazz,” David said. “We just sort of borrowed it to make rock and roll.”
“Goddamn Elvis,” Thoth muttered as if the man had personally wronged him. Which, for all I knew, he had.
Yukie muttered something about ignoring how Westerns were all based on Kurosawa samurai films.
“Man, this conversation just went completely off the rails,” I said. “Does Enil’s family live here too?”
“Yes,” Thoth said. “His wife Mary and their son Alexander have a house built in the center of the place. She’s a day trader. He’s a degenerate.”
I was offended on behalf of degenerates everywhere. “And we think Gog is holding them hostage?”
“It’s a safe assumption,” Thoth said. “There are few things that Enil could be threatened with otherwise.”
“And we’re just going to walk up to him and ask for his help, promising we’ll find them?” I asked.
“Yes,” Thoth said.
“And if he says no?” I asked.
“Hopefully, my friends will have arrived,” Thoth said. “Otherwise, Enil will tear us apart in a way that not even David could survive.”
David looked back at Sam. “Listen, I’m really sorry for getting you killed.”
“Shut up,” Sam said, growling with fangs bared.
I felt bad for David, I really did. His entire life he’d done his absolute best to completely avoid taking responsibility for anything in his life. He’d largely succeeded and was proud of that fact, having slacked off into a job as a vampire’s servant then becoming an immortal zombie. Now he was faced with someone he’d genuinely wronged, and there was no way to make it right. There was no cure for vampirism, any more than death. Hell, even less so since apparently Thoth could raise the dead but had not shown any propensity for undoing the Dark Rebirth.
Also, I’d like to take a moment to state vampire names for things were incredibly pretentious. I mean, Dark Rebirth? Why not just say “becoming a vampire”? I mean, seriously, one of the lamest things about being a vampire was how everything sounded like it was written by Goths. Not that I hadn’t met many a fine Goth chick during my days as a Bloodsworn for Thoth. Man, those were the days.
“Can we just get on with this?” Yuki muttered, more annoyed sounding than angry.
“Eager to fight the ancient vampire?” I asked, not at all pleased with her attitude.
“I’m eager to deal with him so I can fight my grandfather,” Yuki said. “Yes.”
“Have you considered getting a hobby?” I asked, looking over at her. “I bet you’d be a hit at professional cosplay.”
“I have demon blood running through my veins, but it was not until I met you, Peter, that I realized I was in hell.” Yuki closed her eyes.
I chuckled at that. “You know you love me.”
That was when I sensed something inside the park. It was a terrible, dark presence that was full of internal agony. I’d never quite sensed anything like it before, but it was old, powerful, and hungry.
“What the hell was that?” I asked.
“I sense it too,” Sam said. “There’s an Ancient vampire inside. It feels like how vampires have always felt to me.”
“I feel like that?” I asked.
“You and Thoth, yes,” Sam said. “I think I’m getting some of my powers back. They’re also passing to you.”
“Nice, it would be awesome to have something other than Time Manipulation, shitty flight, summoning my meals, and becoming a corgi.”
Oh crap, had I said that last part out a loud?
“You become a corgi?” Thoth asked. “Not a wolf.”
“He’s adorable,” Yukie said.
David opened his mouth to make a joke then closed it. It was clear he wasn’t in a joking mood anymore. I wasn’t sure how to deal with that since David had made wisecracks about everything since we’d sat across from each other in junior high.
“Enil is here,” Thoth said, staring at the window through the chained doors. “He’s not alone either.”
“Not alone human henchman, not alone vampires, or not alone ancient god demon?” I asked.
“I can’t tell,” Thoth said.
“Great. I guess this is where we get out,” I said, unbuckling my seatbelt.
That was when the chains fell off the gate, and the metal fence vanished as if it had never been there.
“Yeah, that’s not ominous,” David muttered.
“Damn straight,” I replied before parking the car and getting out. Everyone else followed, and we soon found ourselves in the most forcibly cheerful haunted place on Earth. You know, after Disneyland. They hadn’t constructed the ticket booths yet, so we just passed on into the streets of the place, passing by cheerful pictures of Frankenstein Junior, the Wolf Boy, Mr. Boo, and someone named Mrs. Mummy.
There was an energy to the place that caused my fangs to pop out and my molars to itch. It was said that every vampire refuge had the feel of its owner, whether you were in Count Dracula’s castle or Ashura’s penthouse. This place was evidence of that claim being true since the place oozed creepiness.
And I’m a goddamn vampire saying that.
There was a palpable sense of decay to everything. The shops designed for selling cotton candy, hot dogs, popcorn, and more all looked like they were rotting from the inside out. The horses on the carousel were positively freakish with parts missing and eyes that seemed to follow you. Yet, it was the cleanliness and functionality that unsettled me.
I saw fresh popcorn in all the vendor slots, electrical lights popping on as we drove through, and not a bit of dust despite the fact the place was falling apart. Enil maintained it even as his presence turned it into the kind of the place you’d visit in a horror game.
“Some advice on which way to go, T?” I asked, wondering if I was going to have to drive around the whole freaky place.
“We’re almost there,” Thoth said. “His presence is all around us.”
“Even I knew that,” I muttered. “Are you picking up anything, Sam?”
“No,” Sam said.
“Do you have any idea when your other team is supposed to arrive?” Mina asked, finally contributing something to the conversation.
“No,” Thoth said. “The closest are in Bright Falls. I asked them to use the Goblin Roads but that’s a big risk even for them.”
“Frigging goblins are real now?” I asked.
“Everything is real,” Thoth said. “Except what is not.”
“Thank you, Mr. Fortune Cookie,” I said before looking at Yukie. “No offense.”
&
nbsp; “Huh?” Yukie asked.
“We should split up,” Thoth said, causing me to do a double take.
“I feel like I’m going to be repeating this a lot tonight: are you serious?” I said, sighing. “Of course, you’re serious. Really, for such a funny group, we have way too much seriousness going around.”
“If Enil wanted to harm us, he would attack now while we’re helpless and confused,” Thoth said. “He does, however, want to hide. I think he’s ashamed of what he’s done and wants someone to talk to.”
“That’s a lot of ifs,” I said, growling at him. “None of those people at the radio station deserved to die.”
Well, except maybe Dead Debbie and all the people we’d killed. Okay, a lot of people at the radio station had deserved to die.
“Justice is a luxury,” Thoth said, simply. “Sometimes people get away with horrible things, sometimes they don’t. Our bigger concern is being able to destroy Gog. For that, we need someone who has actually fought and triumphed over archdemons. The ritual to bind and destroy Magog is one that required an ancient like Enil to do.”
“So, not only do we have to convince Enil not to kill us, but we also have to convince him to turn against Gog?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“And if we don’t?” Yukie asked.
“See the above statement about being torn to pieces,” Thoth said, shrugging. “I know a few tricks about getting out of hell, at least. I can’t make any promises for the rest of you, but I’ll try.”
“Am I going to hell as a cannibal zombie?” David asked as if the question had never occurred to him before.
“Yes,” Thoth said, not even hesitating. “Yes, you are.”
“Huh,” David said, blinking.
“Guys,” Mina interjected. “Bad news.”
“What?” I asked, turning to her.
That was when I noticed a laser sight dot on her chest, three on Thoth, and more on Yukie. I had some too.