by V. Theia
“I’m a prick, girl. Ask anyone. I’ll probably be the same in the future. But you thinking I regret killing Hades because we happened to share the same DNA is whacked. He could be Santa fucking Claus and I’d still cut the fucker down. Take that thought out of your head, you get it?”
She nodded dumbly. Cleared her throat. “So, you don’t hate me?”
He sighed like he was hating every word she was making him speak.
“No, I don’t hate you.”
Zara would take that. She smiled really big at him, wide enough her cheeks pulled. “Good, because Gia and I think we’re going to have the next generation of bikers.”
He gave something like an eyeroll and pushed himself off the counter, making him even taller. “Catch you later, girl. Remember to put the prospects to work for your party.”
She watched him leave and smiled to herself.
She’d just had a conversation that lasted more than a grunt with Hawk.
Santa really was throwing out the gifts this year.
Thinking of Christmas got her thinking of her family and how she still struggled to make it up to her parents for going missing for three years and continually lying if they tried to bring up her ‘backpacking adventures’ it was the worst lie in history.
And she had a feeling they knew she was lying.
She was just too scared to tell them the truth. She didn’t want to hurt them.
Rider said to leave it, that they were happy to have her back in their lives, they didn’t need to know more about what had happened.
She wished at times she could tell them the whole story, but the devastating words would never come.
She longed to tell them of how much Rider loved her. To show them his sacrifices for her.
Rider was known to be dangerous by many around him and by association it was considered a done deal that whatever old lady he took would be queen of his club and therefore just as dangerous as he.
Zara was far from dangerous. She herself questioned the old lady status, and when she’d had push back from some of the females that hung around the club, it was only then, when she told those women who the head girl around the club was, her status cemented.
Without violence. Or a dangerous attitude.
Her biker man was her other half.
He loved her for the woman she was. And never tried to mold her into what people perceived an MC queen to be.
With a lot of help from her therapist, Zara fully believed her, and Rider were meant to find each other again.
There were too many variables for it not to be fate.
It didn’t matter now how they’d come to be back in each other’s lives, or the quickness in which he helped her heart to heal to move on. She’d known on some level people would have a problem with that because love was supposed to come with a time frame, or so they said.
She was a sexual assault victim who took comfort in the arms of a man only weeks after her escape from captivity.
Not because of any reason other than it was Rider.
It was Rider.
He gave her peace and safety.
She would never have felt that kind of harmony with anyone else.
For Zara, even a minute into her rescue and she’d felt inexplicably drawn to him.
Not sexual at first. But his aura and safeness called to her broken pieces.
Soulmates, she recognized.
Timing had been shitty to say the least. She would have loved to have met him again when she was settled in her own skin, and not so traumatized by her past, but she would never have closed the door on Rider at any point in time regardless of any bad situation. Never.
She’d been given a second chance.
Timing meant nothing when love was concerned.
And it was love that got them through that hard weekend about a year ago. Her therapist had encouraged Zara to open up to Rider. She had, to an extent. He knew some of her imprisonment. But what he didn’t know was there was a point in that captivity where their paths almost crossed.
She’d been ill in the back of Hades truck, being guarded by one of his dickhead generals. She refused to put their names in her head again. She’d lost all hope at that point of even trying to escape. She’d been beaten down mentally to the point of exhaustion.
But something happened on the way back to Hades MC.
There had been an altercation with other bikers on the road. Hades had been having words with someone else.
That someone else’s voice Zara recognized.
Rider. She remembered the feeling of euphoria slamming into her breastbone.
The dickhead guarding her had shoved her down on the car’s floorboards, covered her over, but she still heard Rider. With her heart slamming out of her chest she willed so hard for him to open the back door, to see her there, to rescue her.
He hadn’t known for a long time how their paths almost collided sooner.
That was a hard weekend. He’d blamed himself again. It wasn’t about that, she’d told him. That wasn’t the reason for her confession. She wasn’t angry about it. She’d let those feelings go.
She’d wanted her big bad biker-man to realize … to accept … their lives right from the beginning were woven together. It didn’t matter bad things got in the way, deviating both of them from that path. Because eventually they aligned once more.
And nothing would take their love from them now.
And love, she thought as she walked around the clubhouse seeing it in a whole new light, now it was decorated in reds and silvers with some rose gold as accent pieces, was everywhere she looked.
Garlands and lights hung, and the girls were decorating a huge eight-foot tree in the corner by the plasma tv, people she called friends enjoying themselves.
Lawless supervising, she noted with a tiny pleased smile.
Love was everywhere.
Her biker-man, her children, her parents and friends. Whatever anvils people carried, it was love that carried them through.
And never more so was that sentiment true than watching big, burly and hairy bikers, known throughout the states as dangerous men, hanging ornaments on their fingers for the girls to easily reach.
Zara chuckled to herself, feeling all the warmth of the season.
“You look pleased with yourself.” Strong arms she loved came around her from behind, pulling her into his chest.
She softened and sighed. “It looks good, yeah?”
“You’ve did a good job, Icy.” He kissed the top of her head. “I didn’t recognize the place.”
She turned in his arms, as close as her belly would allow her to get. She couldn’t wait to have the real close cuddles with him again. “Do you mind?” She fretted her lip with her teeth. She had turned an MC into Santa’s grotto practically.
“No, baby. We needed this. It’s been a helluva fuckin’ year. It’ll be good for the boys to kick back for a day.”
Zara sighed happily and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her ear to his chest.
Love never quit its journey to fix two people together.
It was there, in the silence. In the despair.
Love was waiting.
“Hey, you’ll never guess who I talked to.” She said, grinning. “Santa brought me an early present because I’ve been such a good girl…”
Her bad biker-man snorted.
“If this is our Christmas story, then put me next to my wife.” – Preacher
December 18th
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
It was the fourth time Jamie asked. Ruby had her arm threaded through her brother’s. The ground was thick with snow and she was bundled up in her fur lined hooded winter coat and still she felt the chill through the material.
She figured it had more to do with nerves than the actual weather.
Jamie looked so serious that she smiled up at him to lessen the tension he was obviously feeling. White flakes gathered on his hair. “I’m sure. But looks like I picked
the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.”
Jamie barked an unexpected laugh. “Still throwing out the movie quotes, princess? And an oldie.”
“But always a goodie.” She told him.
Her and Preacher had watched Airplane! just last night after putting an excitable Sebastian to bed. The nearer it got to Christmas the longer it took to put their boy to bed.
Not even the Santa is watching you line worked.
He wanted to stay up and meet him.
The state prison looked as welcoming as an enema, she thought. And after three different checks and searches once they made it inside, her and Jamie waited at a glossy white table for the prisoners to come in to the visitor’s lounge.
Her first time inside a prison wasn’t as bad as she initially thought it would be. For starters it didn’t look like anything she’d seen in movies. That helped. But she hadn’t seen her father yet, so would reserve judgement on how bad things could get. It was a large, brightly lit room an officer showed them into. Smelling a lot like disinfectant, the scent turned her stomach a little queasy.
“You okay?” Her brother asked in a quiet tone for her ears only.
She wished Preacher was here holding her hand. He’d offered, and she’d stupidly told him no, she was fine, and he should stay home with Seb because he had rehearsals for the church Nativity play, Pastor Danny was holding this year. Seb had won the part of second Wise Man and he was really throwing himself into the one-line role. But as the minutes ticked by and prisoners began to make their way in the room, her eyes glued to the doorway, she really wished her husband was by her side.
“I’m fine, Jamie. I don’t expect miracles. So, you don’t have to worry.”
He covered her hand.
“You might be shackled to that big bastard mountain now, but I’ll always worry about you, Ruby. Say the word any time and we can leave.”
She smiled around her chewing nerves for his sweetness. Her relationship with her estranged brother had been improving in the last year.
Ruby couldn’t say the same for her father as she watched him stroll into the room. She didn’t know what she expected him to look like. Maybe a shell of the man she’d last seen.
But Wyatt Steel was as big and robust as he always was with the same dark hair as Jamie in a slick gel style. He smiled, approaching in his cream-colored uniform with his hands at his side. Take out the prison setting and Wyatt looked relaxed.
“Princess. It’s good to see you.”
“Hey, Wyatt.”
His smile didn’t falter as he took his seat opposite them.
“I’d love a coffee, son. Three sugars.”
Jamie stood and fished out the twenty bucks they were only permitted to bring in with them for drinks and snacks for the prisoners. The place was packed with inmates and their families, but Ruby only saw the man in front of her. Nerves clacked like maracas.
“Ruby, anything for you?” She shook her head before Jamie left them alone. She couldn’t drink a drop if she tried.
“You look good, princess. All grown up.”
“I was a teenager the last time you saw me.” She filled in. Ruby remembered it well. Unfortunately. All of fourteen taking care of her druggie mom and baby sister at the time. Jamie helped as much as he could in the stead of her absent father, but he’d been little more than a teen himself.
“Your brother tells me you got married and have a kid now.”
“Yes.”
“And one on the way I see.”
“Yes. Due in February.”
“I’m real happy for you, princess. You deserve all the good. God knows you were dealt a shitty hand for parents.” He sounded genuine. “You hitched to a Renegade Souls.”
“I married a good man, yes.” If he dare even try to badmouth her choice in husband she was getting up and walking out of there. She wouldn’t stand for anyone, her father included, to utter a wrong word about Preacher.
“Good, Princess. Rider has some good men under him.”
“Not like mine, right, dad?” Jamie asked, sliding the hot Styrofoam cup across the table and he retook his seat next to her, giving her arm a little touch of comfort. Thank god for Jamie.
Wyatt smiled and sipped the hot coffee. “Can’t say, son. You don’t tell me shit anymore.”
“My club. My rules. It’s the Steele way. You taught me that.”
Wyatt barked a laugh. “That I did. I’m glad you didn’t let any of ‘em get their hands on my girl here. You looking out for her?”
“I take care of myself, Wyatt.”
“As much as I can.”
They spoke at the same time and she sent her brother a smile. Grateful he was here. He looked tired around the eyes. She’d even asked Preacher to talk to him, but if Jamie had worries he didn’t share.
She’d have him over to the house more, she decided. Maybe she could set him up with a single mom she’d met at the school. They were roaming around in droves. And they’d love a guy like Jamie.
“You make sure she’s set, son.” Wyatt issued.
Ruby let him. There was no point in insisting her husband took care of her just fine, thank you. He might have been an absentee father, too interested in his drugs and his club, but Wyatt was also of another generation where their old ladies didn’t have many rights other than standing at her man’s side and ignoring all the shit he did.
That wasn’t Ruby’s life. Far from it.
She’d go so far as to say idyllically happy.
“I’m real glad you came, Princess. Real damn glad.”
For a second Ruby felt her heart surrender to the hammering beats as she reached across the table and squeezed his aging hand. If anything, he looked a thousand times better than the last time. He at least appeared sober now.
She had forgiveness in her heart.
“I’m glad I came.” She told him.
And meant it.
The two hours went by quicker than expected and taking her first lungful of clean air Ruby sighed.
She’d promised to visit him again in the new year.
She didn’t know who was more surprised, herself or Jamie.
“Aun’ Rubyyyyyyy!” She heard, and her heart reared up. Eyes startled seeing Sebastian in his fire truck red track suit and black winter coat racing towards her. Preacher, big as he was, propped up against the side of their truck with his ankles crossed. He too was bundled in his leather jacket and he was a sight for her sore eyes.
Oh, god. Her boys. Her big, beautiful boys were here.
She was grinning like a fool when he reached her. Seb hugged around her expanded waist and Preacher leaned down to peck her lips. “Hey, beautiful. Everything okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah, it went fine. What are you guys doing here?”
Her husband. The biggest man to walk the earth with his staggering strut, smiled at her and her heart fell over itself in joy. Ruby’s gaze darted up to meet his—green fire instantly. She loved him more and more and didn’t care if she bawled right now. She’d needed him and here he was.
“Aww, my beautiful, you get here in my arms.” He coaxed hauling her in. For as big as she was carrying in front she’d wanted to throw herself into his arms.
It was frigid in the parking lot. The temperature close to zero again, but she didn’t feel the cold nipping at her nose. Not when she was inhaling the sexy scent of her man, face buried in his shirt.
“I love you,” she grinned up.
“Love you too. Told our boy here,” he nodded to Jamie. “I’d come take you home.”
She rounded on her brother, staying in Preacher’s hard body. Seb was busy making a pile of snowballs she hoped were to play with Uncle Jamie and not her.
She was suddenly exhausted from all the extracted emotions. Her boy had so much energy it was hard to keep up with these days. And smart wasn’t even the word for him. They’d had him annually tested at school and he was light years ahead of the other kids. Preacher preened all that day and told everyone their kid
was Lawless level kind of genius.
“You didn’t tell me that.” She accused her brother and he gave her his signature half-grin, blue eyes twinkled. “It’s Christmas, princess. Gotta have secrets.”
He bumped a kiss on her cheek, and a fist knock for Preacher. “Hey, kid, how about riding back with me? We’ll go grab a burger.”
Sebastian’s yeah was echoed for miles. He was already over to Jamie’s truck in seconds like his parents didn’t exist.
“Now I can take my girl for the pizza she’s been craving.” Preacher whispered by her ear. The pair watched Jamie pull away carefully in the snow. He’d grown attached to Seb as quickly as they all had.
“Yay.” She said, cuddling into him. “Then can we nap? God, I’d kill for a nap, Asher.”
He chuckled, kissed the top of her head. “Anything you want, beautiful. Let me get you fed first, and you can tell me everything.”
She would. And then later tonight in her nightly prayers Ruby would ask God to look out for her father. To guide him in the right direction.
“I’m so happy you’re here.” She said letting the warmth of their truck seep into her bones as she sighed. She felt Asher’s fingers curl into the back of her head.
Any more of that rubbing and she’d be asleep.
He wouldn’t even mind. He took it as a personal achievement if he could give her everything she wanted. Naps included.
With a kid who was constantly active, who talked a mile a minute and always wanted affection—a direct difference to how Sebastian first was when he came to live with them, and oh, god, she loved him being that boisterous, loving little boy—precious naps were in short supply nowadays.
“Needed to be here too, Rubes. Why don’t you close your eyes and rest until we get home? I’m gonna call in a pick-up for the food.”
He was so freaking amazing, she smiled already 30% on her way to sleep.
“Kiss first, Preacher man.”
He rumbled his sexy noise, leaned over to her seat and laid a real good kiss on her lips.
Sometimes, she thought, as she drifted into a sound sleep, with her hand tucked on her husband lap, you got exactly what you’d always wanted.
Asher was all her Christmas gifts in one.