by V. Theia
“Insanely in love with you, little bit.”
And when Hawk slanted his mouth, Gia was there ready and open for the slick slide of his tongue tangling around hers.
They kissed until it was necessary to breathe.
“Baby. Baby. I miss you every second.”
That’s it, he thought. He was never leaving this house again.
He loved when she was this level of desperate.
When she clawed at his shirt and sucked on his tongue and moaned his name into his throat.
Hawk had studied Gia’s body as though he was being tested.
He knew she was ticklish behind her knee, and she loved the feel of his beard stroked over her belly and the dimples in her back were particularly sensitive to his kisses.
He knew her inside and out.
Where to scissor his fingers to elicit her to cry to the ceiling and her sweet juices spurt over his belly. He knew how to kiss her to cause a dreamy sigh to puff from her mouth and when she needed the battering ram of his rough cock.
There was nothing about his wife, Hawk didn’t know the maximum way to make her feel good, and after a long morning dealing with all her aches and mommy-to-be stresses, and not to mention getting over the bedlam that was hosting Christmas the day before with Gia’s folks attending, her brother and his family plus Krusher. His little bit hadn’t stopped from dawn to dusk, nearly giving him heart failure every time she tried to lug something heavier than a bread basket.
Ready to palm her butt and carry his little bit to somewhere more comfortable where he could peel her out of the pink leggings and let his mouth eat her for an hour her heard her gasp.
Eyes wide, the fingernails dug into his shoulders stalled.
“Colton…”
So, did her breathing.
Hawk pulled back and wasn’t sure for a second what had happened until he rasped. “Did you just piss on my belly, little bit?”
He didn’t mind so much, but that was new.
Gia gasped then giggled, laying her head on his shoulder. “My waters just broke.”
Call him a fucking moron but it took him a few more seconds to realize just what that meant.
And then his insides burst into flames.
A million questions and fears all gathered in his stupid brain that didn’t work all that good at times.
Where once he had demons talking to him, now it was all his terrors about losing her screaming at him.
Hawk knew one thing, he couldn’t fall to pieces now.
Not when his old lady needed him.
She was the strong one in their marriage, he knew this and was fine about it. But she’d need all her own strength to bring their baby into the world so instead of panicking like a bitch, he tipped up her chin.
Kissed her once.
“Are you sure?”
“I soaked your jeans, Colton. I’m sure.”
“Are you hurting?”
She paused as if to check. While his hands rounded her little bump.
It was harder than usual, he noted. “No, not yet. Help me down?”
He had it memorized what needed to be done now.
First, he called the hospital who said they couldn’t check in until she had contractions five minutes apart, but they alerted Gia’s doctor.
“I need my hospital bag, baby.” She told him from the kitchen chair. He knew that.
She’d packed it weeks ago and he’d left it where he’d remember it in the baby’s room.
Holy fuck.
He stopped half way on the stairs just to let his lungs inflate.
His head was spinning.
Their baby was coming.
He was about to become a fucked-up dad to a kid who didn’t deserve him as a father. Thank fuck it would have Gia. He knew nothing about raising a kid or being a good influence.
Hell, he’d killed last weekend while his wife decorated and shopped for Christmas. A stray Russian capo and he’d snapped the guy’s neck without remorse.
He went through his tasks all the while his hands shook, and his heart beat irregularly with more than fear.
Once the bag was in their SUV, he came back for Gia. “Let’s get you cleaned up, little bit.”
“I want a bath.” Arms looped around his neck while he took her to the bathroom and peeled her out of her wet clothes.
“We don’t have time for one of your fancy baths, Gia.” He warned with a slight growl rattling his throat.
If he let her walk all over him like usual she’d have him burning candles and finding her bath music for fucks sake.
He was already fraught at the edges without hanging around the house when he needed her in the hospital with medical people who knew what they were doing.
Outwardly, he was cool as a fucking corpse, he filled the tub, tossed in some smelly shit and lowered her in.
Gia wasn’t nervous at all.
In fact, the glow on her face was brighter than he’d ever seen it when she settled back in the oval tub letting the warm water gather over her belly and ample tits. When her happiness was so blinding, the air crackled, and he swore he could feel the rush of his blood.
He loved her so fucking much, nothing was taking her from him now.
He needed a change of clothes too since he wore Gia on the front of his jeans.
He leaned down. Kissed her lips. “You okay? Pain yet?”
“I’m good, baby. I thought I’d be more frantic than this, but knowing it’s happening, and we’ll meet our little one soon, I’m kind of chill about it. Like I know my body has it handled, so I can relax, you know?”
He had no fucking clue about being relaxed, not when his brain was going berserk.
He kissed her again and quickly went to change into fresh jeans and a T-shirt.
He came back to see her leg balanced half up the wall and Gia trying to shave it.
“Jesus, Christ, what the fuck you doing?”
Her brows puckered in the middle with a little determined scowl he’d taught her. “My legs look like an overgrown forest, Colton. I can’t reach over my belly though. Can you do it for me?”
Fucks sake.
He carefully slathered her legs in foam that smelled like flowers and shaved her.
Then she wanted her pussy doing too.
She was testing his limits.
“Doctors are going to be looking between my legs, Colton!” She exclaimed.
Like that was explanation enough.
Fucking what?
Lids fell over his eyes.
Something started bleeding in the back of his brain.
“You said it’s just midwives and nurses, female nurses, Gia.” No fucking perverted doctor was looking at his Gia.
He was too much of an unstable motherfucker for that.
“It is, baby. It is. Please? I forgot to do it this week and my back is aching.”
It snapped him into line and he did that for her too. With his teeth clenched and his dick aching.
He was still a lecherous monster, not a saint.
The casual stride through the house as he locked up with Gia waiting in the SUV belied the intensity of his fear.
No turning back now, he thought.
And with one last listen of Killer giving her token, pitiful bark for being abandoned by her parents, Hawk locked up the house.
* * *
“Remember hours ago, when I said the pain wasn’t all that bad and I was sure Zara must have lied just to scare me? I take it back,” Gia panted, gripping Hawk’s hand hard enough she heard his bones creaking. “I take it all back, Colton. This hurts so bad. I really think my spleen is ripping open. Can that happen? Will you ask the doctor if that can happen?”
“Christ, Gia.” Was all he said and then gathered her into his arms while she cried just a little.
Not a lot because after watching terrifying birthing videos she’d been determined not to be one of those screaming banshee women, but oh, god … she wanted to scream because of the vagina-ripping pain
.
“Do you want me to get your mom?”
They were all at the hospital in the waiting area anxiously hanging around for news and they’d been in the room a while ago, but she couldn’t cope with everyone trying to care at the same time.
She shook her head and tried to breathe through a contraction trying to split her spine out from her navel.
“What about Grace?”
“Grace Kelly is in Texas, Hawk, what are you going to do, magic my best friend here?”
He growled, rubbed both hands on her lower back which felt amazing, she relaxed into him when the contraction subsided. “If I have to.”
“I just need you.”
“You have me, always.”
Tired was not the word for it and if her damn vagina didn’t spread open like a hooker on rent week then she was going to scream. She’d been at this panting and pain thing for hours and she was still only four centimeters.
If their baby was ready to come, then why were they delaying? This baby was so damn chill it could only be Hawk’s kid.
As another contraction gathered, Gia inhaled on a shudder and gripped the front of Hawk’s shirt, her hips swaying left and right.
His fingers were already digging into the base of her spine where most of the pain was congregating like war soldiers on the battlefield.
In the background her music was playing.
She had her pillows and ice chips.
All the comforts a dying woman could need in a private hospital room.
“Colton?” Being in his arms was like being in her comfortable bed at home. Despite the pain lancing her in half, he brought home to her even though she could tell he was scared.
Not that he showed her. He wouldn’t right now.
She could feel it in the rapid beats of his heart under her ear as he gently rocked her to the soft music.
Dancing helped, actually. When her hips moved she could almost redirect her senses from the tearing agony.
So, he helped her move. Hours and hours of swaying dancing.
Or massaging her back, rubbing her belly, lying on the bed with her and telling her stories.
He was her rock and her rock was scared.
“Yeah?”
“I love you so much, but we’re going to be a team of three Hawk’s, okay? Four including Khaleesi. No more babies, I can’t do this again.”
His chest deflated, and she caught his smile in his voice. “Absolutely, little bit. Whatever you say.”
“And it’s not because I’m scared once you see a head coming out of me it will scare you off wanting sex with me ever again.”
Although, that was somewhere down the list of worries.
“Never gonna happen. Wanna fuck you right now, Gia.”
Her head reared up and she ended up laughing.
Of all the things Hawk could say, that was the most typical because he was earnest in his truth. She kissed his chin.
“I’d let you. If only to spread my lazy vagina open to get this baby out.”
He gave her his half smile and kissed her nose. And then lowered his forehead to hers and for a second he let her see everything he was feeling in his perfectly pale eyes.
Hawk would never let anything happen to her or their baby. She knew it wholeheartedly as much as she knew anything.
And didn’t that just make her the luckiest woman with a vagina on fire right now?
She could do this.
She could absolutely do this.
Through the hours she cried in Hawk’s arms, called him names and put him on a sex ban for life. And through it all he was her rock taking the abuse like a champ and loving her deeper than ever.
Her immoveable rock coaching her through.
My strong little girl, you can do this.
You bite the fuck out of me and then you push, Gia, you got it? Let’s meet our baby.
I know you hate my dick, little bit. But the pain will stop, just one more push.
Her absolute rock.
For that kind of pain Gia wouldn’t have wanted to go through it with anyone else.
Her Hawk was everything.
* * *
Disinfectant and milk smells followed Hawk down the white hallway as he walked in somewhat of a fogged daze. He pressed release pads to open doors and waited patiently for the last door leading from the labor rooms to the waiting area to be opened by a member of staff.
They had this place locked down tight which made him feel better.
No fucker would walk off with his baby.
His baby.
Jesus.
His living, breathing, screaming baby slithered into the world wet and silent before the lungs engaged and emitted the tiniest whimper just short of thirty minutes ago.
Hawk supposed all the words of love he’d whispered against Gia’s forehead, as they’d watched their baby being cleaned and wrapped in a blanket, would come back to him in time, but for the life of him now he couldn’t remember a single fucking word.
His brain was numb.
And ecstatic.
He felt like he was high on the strongest pot of his life.
The toughest decisions in his life revolved around his position in the club.
Where to dispose of a body.
Who to patch in as a brother.
How to get Snake to shut his trap.
In the space of a moment his entire brain rewired to make his little girl a priority.
Emotion was present in his eyes and especially locked in his throat as a million sets of eyes turned his way when he ambled into the waiting room.
Not expecting anyone other than Gia’s parents and Rider to be in the waiting area, it was packed to the ceiling with his boys.
All of them. Patched in boys. Members without the patch. Prospects. Even Krusher had a corner of the waiting area cooing to Harper from the looks of it.
“What—what are you all doing here?”
His vision was as thick and hazy as his mind as he ran a hand around the back of his nape and caught every gaze there watching him.
“Our boy is having his first kid. Where the fuck else would we be, VP?” It was Lawless who spoke. An upturned grin-maybe a smirk on his face.
“How is Gia?” Asked Annie through the medley of men. She was holding Ajax’s hand. “Have you brought news?”
“She’s good. They’re good.” He said when he found his tongue. “A girl. We have a girl.”
The waiting room erupted with noisy cheers.
Only Annie and Rider would have embraced Hawk. He accepted both but stepped back as soon as it was over.
“Gia is waiting to see you,” he told her parents.
“Dear boy, I’m so happy for you both.” Annie shared, tears in her eyes.
Hawk shared a look with Ajax. It wasn’t mean or consumed in contempt.
Maybe a look of understanding.
As if to say you have a daughter, now you’ll know.
Hawk nodded. Ajax nodded in return then followed his wife down the long hallway.
“You doing okay?” Asked Rider. The pair had split off from the crowd while their boys passed around a bottle of Jack Daniels, Hawk was sure wasn’t allowed in a baby hospital. But he was too elated to tell them to knock it off.
“A girl, Ri. What the fuck am I gonna do with a girl?” He almost laughed because he was fucking clueless. With a son he might have had a fifty percent chance of raising him right. A girl just made him demented to lock her away and never let anything harm her.
Rider, that asshole, only clapped Hawk’s shoulder and smirked before sending a gaze over to his wife cradling his own daughter. “Welcome to that shitty over protective club, my brother. Seriously, we gotta go gun shopping.”
Hawk snorted. Feeling lightheaded and the need to get back to Gia was roaring through his ears but he wanted to give some time to her parents.
“Like you don’t have enough already.” Fuck it, he was not a patient man. “You wanna come meet Sunshine?”
&nb
sp; “Sunshine?”
“Yeah.” No one would understand how Hawk had chosen the name because Gia and now the miracle of him having his own child had brought the sun into his life. And before he started choking on his feelings he jutted his chin. “No swearing around my kid, Prez.” He issued, only to hear Rider curse.
“That’s what I said about mine and no fucker listened. Sunshine is gonna grow with bikers, she’ll be cursing right alongside.”
Fuck. She probably would. Gia would kill him.
But all those future thoughts fell from his mind as he stepped back into the room and saw Gia’s beaming smile. She was exhausted and beautiful. He had her hand before Rider closed the door, kissing her knuckles. “Okay?”
“Perfect now.” She told him.
Perfect. Hawk thought.
Not a fucking word he would have ever associated to his life.
His monster existence, one not of his making, but one of his choosing later in life, had stains upon stains and perfect didn’t come near.
Now he had two pieces of it.
His wife rested her head on his chest while they watched family love on their girl and Hawk felt a part of his turbulent soul begin to rest.
“Renegade Souls all the way.”
December 31st
The hierarchy of any MC meant that only a small number of loyal, trusted men earned their patch sewn into the leather cut, which in turn allowed them to sit at the sacred table behind the double doors of their church.
That didn’t mean the club was small.
Not by a long shot.
The Colorado chapter boasted almost two hundred members so far at the last count according to Rider’s treasurer who kept a tally of everyone that was permitted through their doors. Or he had. What the fuck would Rider do with Texas’ patch now? That was a decision he needed to make.
“I can’t eat another thing,” moaned Snake as he pushed aside the heaping plate of cookies into the middle of the table. Rider watched as the club bodyguard snatched two oatmeal before slouching back in his seat. He hadn’t seen the guy in days, more than a week if he thought about it and for a guy who liked the company of the club, the work of the shop and the bullshitting banter Rider figured whatever that librarian was doing with him was plenty enough to keep Snake busy and satisfied from the look on his face as he smiled at the cookie like it was the second coming. “Seriously, keep those away from me,” he warned the table.