I swallowed. “And?”
Gemma stared at the floor. “Didn’t find her.”
“Oh,” I said, much relieved.
“Do you still have these diary entries?”
I nodded.
“I want to read them.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I mean, you didn’t handle it well when I explained the situation to you.” I avoided her eye. Not wanting to, but not able to resisted, I stuttered, “A-are you mad at me?”
She took my hand in hers. “No, Tegan. I’m not. I wish you told me when it happened, but I understand. You’re the victim.”
“Not entirely with everything that’s happened.”
“What do you mean?” She sounded scared.
“I didn’t get a chance to tell you the whole story.” I sighed. “I was the one who took Bernie’s diaries.”
Gemma sniffed, closing her eyes. “As in more than one?”
“Yes. Two to be exact.”
“Why?”
I told her about my conversation with Jenny at the diner.
Gemma breathed in and out of her mouth. “Okay, that didn’t turn out well.”
“Tell me about it. Bernie knows.” I filled in the remaining pieces of the sordid story.
“Jesus, Tegan.” She jumped to her feet and started pacing.
“Don’t be mad. Please,” I pleaded with my palms pressed together.
Gemma came to me and pulled my head to her chest, stroking my hair. “Shush, it’s okay. I’m processing all of this. Give me a moment.” She still struggled to get her breathing under control.
I wiped my nose on the front of her sweater.
“Next time when anything remotely like this happens, promise you’ll tell me right away. We can figure things out together.”
“Like you’d ever commit a crime.”
She laughed. “If you had told me, it wouldn’t have been necessary. You’d still have a clean record.”
My chin fell to my chest. “You do think I’m a bad person.”
“I never said that.”
I peeked at her face. “Did you think it?”
“Nope. Listen. I know you. You have a heart of gold, but you don’t always make the right decisions. None of us does.”
“You do.” I sniffled.
“No, I don’t.”
“Tell me something you regret.”
“I flung a steaming bag of dog shit on Kate’s front step.”
I shoved her away. “You did not. Lying isn’t going to make me feel better.”
Gemma stared right into my eyes. “I did. It was stupid, but I was hurt.”
“How in the world do you set dog poop on fire without it getting all over you?”
Gem looked at me cockeyed. “If I explain, promise me you’ll never try it. You and fire—not a good mix.”
I nodded.
“You set the paper bag on fire, not the contents.”
“Oh, that makes a lot more sense.” The cogs in my brain whirred into motion.
“Seriously, you promised you’d never try it.” She stared deeply into my eyes.
“I promise, promise.”
Gemma started to say something, stopped, and then said, “Back to the matter at hand, can I read the entries?”
“Depends. Do you believe me?”
“Absolutely.”
“No doubts at all?”
“None.” She mimed a baseball empire calling a runner safe at home plate.
I studied her expression, believing her, mostly. “Then why do you want to read them?”
“Because, to steal your phrase, I’m a rebel.”
“There’s more, though.”
“Please, Teeg. I need to read them with my own eyes.”
“Because you don’t trust me. Not completely.”
“Not true. I want to read them to help me decide.” Her eyes blazed.
“About what?” I whispered.
“If I should punch Bernie in the face or not,” she said through clenched teeth.
I was ashamed part of me wanted to witness that.
I got up to get them, quickly returning. Sitting with our shoulders pressed together, we read Bernie’s words together in silence. Each time I finished a page, I checked to see if she was ready and she nodded her head. “You’re a fast reader.”
She shrugged, continuing reading.
I placed them on the coffee table when we finished, waiting for Gemma’s verdict.
“Did you like it when she kissed you?”
“No!”
“No part of you—?”
I stopped her cold with what I hoped was a don’t even go there look. “It disgusted me.”
“She is beautiful,” Gemma whispered to her lap.
“Yes. But that doesn’t matter. Are you worried she’ll turn my head?”
Gemma quirked her mouth, thinking. “Not really. But, she has a lot going for her. She’s probably the most beautiful woman on campus. Her parents are loaded and powerful. Her car is sweet. Nothing like my boneshaker.” She ticked each with a finger. “I’m just a small-town hick who can’t manage to score a part-time job at the Gap.”
“Gemma! I won’t let you talk about yourself that way. Weren’t you telling me during dinner not to sell myself short? Don’t you dare think those things about yourself.”
“Hey, I don’t mind being a small-town hick. I wouldn’t trade lives with Bernie. I’m just saying I imagine a lot of girls would find her appealing.”
“Not me. You know how much she bugs me.”
“Little boys pull girls pigtails as a way of saying, Hey, I like you.” She hitched a shoulder.
“I don’t think she’s a bitch because I like her. I had thought she was a bitch because she liked to be in control. Now, I just find her sad.”
“I can’t believe Jenny cheated.”
“She drinks too much.”
Gemma nodded, sadness in her hunched shoulders. “I can’t hate her, though.”
“Who said you should?”
“Part of me feels like I should. For cheating. Being weak. But I want to help her. I haven’t sorted my thoughts about Bernie, yet.”
I rested my head against her shoulder. “I know you want to help Jenny. It’s one of the things I love about you. Your honor.”
“Is that why you don’t like Bernie? She’s not honorable?”
“Gem, you need to stop worrying about whether or not I’m interested in Bernie.” I wrapped my arm around Gemma’s stomach. “I don’t like her because she’s not you. I fell in love with you. Face it; you’re stuck with me. The good and bad.”
Gemma nestled her head on mine. “I think I can live with that.”
“You better. I’m a criminal now. Don’t make me kidnap you and turn you into my sex slave.”
She laughed heartily. “You better keep taking cooking classes to keep up my energy levels. Staying up half the night pleasing you and then getting up early for class is hard work.”
“Do you like Greek food? That’s the next class.”
“Not sure I’ve had it. I like olives.”
“Maybe I’ll learn how to make olive pie.”
“Yuck!”
I drilled an elbow into her stomach. “Don’t discourage me.”
“From cooking or making an olive pie?” She pinched my side.
I settled back against her. While it felt good to laugh, we couldn’t ignore the issue. “What are we going to do about Bernie and Jenny?”
She sighed. “I have no idea. This is out of my skill set.”
“Mine, too. Even know-it-all Bernie is clueless. Who do you think M is?”
Gemma shrugged, drifting into silence. After many moments, she said, “Maybe I should call my mom.”
“You’d talk about Jenny and Bernie with her?”
“Sure. She’s a great listener.”
“Never in a million years would I consider talking to my mom
about a friend who’s teetering on alcoholism and her girlfriend kissing me.”
“Mom would listen to you, if you ever needed to talk.” Gemma planted a kiss on the top of my head.
“She probably would. Is it weird I can’t talk to my mom, but I can see myself talking to yours?”
“What about your dad? You two have been getting closer.”
“Earth to Gemma. Remember part of this equation involves Bernie kissing me.”
“Hey, I’m rubbing off on you. You said the word equation. Soon enough, you’ll love math.”
“Nice change of subject.”
She held me tight. “I just don’t know the answers. But, together we’ll get through this.”
“Do you think it’ll be bad?”
Gemma carefully ran her hand through my curls, avoiding potential snags. “Bernie may be in love with you, but she’ll have to get through me if she wants a chance in hell.”
I pulled my head up. “Ooooh… I like it when you talk like that.” I squeezed her bicep, which she flexed for me. “What about Jenny?”
The fierceness in her face faded. “That’s a tougher nut to crack. One of my mom’s brothers has a drinking problem… and thirty years later, it’s still an issue. Mom loves him and tries to help, but there are long periods when they don’t talk.”
“Should we take that approach with Jen?”
She threaded her fingers through mine. “Let’s hope we don’t have to.”
The phone rang.
Gemma and I locked eyes.
“Shall I get it?” She asked, starting to rise.
“Let the machine.”
Gemma sat down, watching the machine on top of the fridge.
After the sixth ring, the machine played our message followed by, “Tegan. It’s Dad. Don’t forget, a week from tonight we have class.” He paused. “Gotta run. Flying to Barcelona. See ya next week, ladybug.” Dad hung up.
“He really likes those classes,” I said.
“I’m sure that’s part of it, but you may be missing the key reason.”
“Please spill, oh wise one.”
Gemma tickled my side. “It’s obvious he enjoys spending time doing something only you two like.” She flicked my nose.
“Maybe,” I said. “If that’s true, too bad it took us this long to figure it out. I like having him involved more in my life.”
Gemma nodded. “I’ve said it before; being a parent can’t be easy. I wonder how many parents and offspring become friends after the child flies the coop.”
“Offspring,” I giggled, rolling my eyes.
“It’s not my fault you went to a subpar school and don’t have my amazing vocabulary skills.”
“Yeah, right. It’s the biggest regret in my life.”
“I think the word lament would be more appropriate.”
“Your lips keep moving, but I can’t hear you.” I mimed her mouth opening and closing with my fingers.
“How’s this approach?” She kissed me, forcing me onto my back.
No more words were needed.
Chapter Three
Around two in the morning, the shrill ring of the phone yanked both of us out of a deep slumber.
“If that’s my father calling to remind me about cooking class, I’ll never go with him again,” I joked in an attempt to calm my nerves.
“You don’t mean that.” Gemma reached for the phone on the nightstand. “Hello?”
The person on the line was sobbing.
Gemma sprang upright in bed, taking all the covers with her.
Completely naked, I shivered.
“Jenny. What’s wrong?” Gemma glanced at me, worry chiseled into her brow. “You need what?”
There was an excruciatingly long pause that included Gemma nodding her head with her eyes pinched shut.
“Okay.” Gemma got out of bed, searching for clothes on the floor while ending the call.
“Where are you going?” I added, “It’s the middle of the night.”
“Jenny was arrested. I need to bail her out of jail.” Gemma stopped tugging her shirt on. “I never thought…” She let the words fade.
“I’ll go with you.” I leaped into action.
“Can you?”
“Why not?” I asked feeling indignant.
“I’ve never bailed anyone out of jail before. Can two people go?”
“Only one way to find out.” I didn’t want to mention I was the one with the job and Gemma probably didn’t have the funds to cover bail.
***
Hours later, we returned to our apartment with Jenny. The car ride home was mostly in silence, except for Jenny profusely thanking us for coming to her rescue. Oddly, she never mentioned the bail money, but it didn’t seem the right moment to bring up the issue.
Inside the apartment, Jenny asked for a drink.
“I got it,” I said in need of alone time, no matter how short.
I filled a glass with ice, adding water from the tap.
Before returning, I shook my head in hopes of knocking all traces of disappointment from my face. “Here you go.”
“Water?” Jenny said, her voice raspy.
“Given you were arrested for drunk driving, I think it should be your new favorite beverage of choice.” I forced her to accept the glass.
Jenny begrudgingly took a tiny sip.
“What happened, Jen?” Gemma sat on the edge of the coffee table, facing Jenny on the couch. She leaned on her knees, keeping her body language free of the emotions I sensed going through her.
“I just had a couple of beers. I swear.”
“Why were you driving?”
I watched this exchange, wondering how we got to this point in our lives. A DUI was a big-league offense in my book, although I didn’t think I was in the minority.
Jenny set the glass down on the table next to the couch. “I… wanted to look for Bernie.”
“Why did you have to look for her?” Gemma sounded like a good cop on television. Did that mean I was supposed to play bad cop?
“She left, again.” Jenny swiped her nose with the back of her hand.
“Why?”
Jenny retreated against the back of the couch, hugging her chest. “I don’t know if I can talk about it.”
“Was it about your drinking problem?” I asked, settling into the bad cop role.
Jenny opened her eyes. “I don’t have a problem.”
Gemma waved for her to settle down.
Jenny repeated herself through gritted teeth.
I kept my face blank but didn’t turn away from her menacing glare.
“Let’s get back to Bernie and why she left.” Gemma motioned for her to pick up with the story.
“She claims she’s in love with someone else.”
Gemma started to turn to look at me but managed to stop herself. Clearing her throat, she asked, “With who?”
Jenny pitched forward. “I don’t know, but when I find out the person’s identity, I’m going to pound the bitch!”
“Let’s not add assault to your rap sheet,” Gemma said with amazing control. “I think the best thing to do tonight is to put you to bed. You can crash in the spare bed.”
Jenny started to protest, but Gemma stood up.
“The sheets are clean,” I offered in hopes that would settle her down. “And you look exhausted.”
Jenny let out a puff of air. “Fine, but I don’t appreciate being treated like a child.”
I swallowed the words then don’t act like one.
After Jenny climbed into bed, Gemma stood outside the doorway staring at her unmoving form under the comforter.
I slipped behind her, one hand on Gem’s shoulder. “I think she’s asleep,” I whispered. “Let’s try to get some rest.”
Gemma followed me, sadness in her footfalls. In bed, she said, “I didn’t think it was this bad.”
“Maybe this will be her wake-up cal
l.”
Gemma’s expression said yeah, right. “She’d spent several hours in jail, and the only thing she wants to talk about is Bernie and smashing the person Bernie is in love with.”
Neither of us bothered to mention that person was me.
Gem shook her head. “I don’t think she learned anything tonight.”
“She might still be drunk. Let’s try to get some sleep and hope things will be better in the morning.”
Gemma switched off the alarm on her clock radio. “I think I should be here when she wakes up.”
“Are you afraid she’ll figure out…”
Gem kissed my forehead. “Don’t worry, Teeg. This is not your fault.”
“I think part of it is. Maybe Bernie reread the pages I stole and it brought her feelings back. If I hadn’t…”
Gemma put a finger on my lips. “If she’s truly in love with you, she never forgot about it. I know I’d never be able to get over you if you didn’t return my feelings.”
“Please, you make it sound like I’m irresistible.”
She laughed quietly. “You are. Even with all the evidence right before your eyes, you still refuse to appreciate how special you are.”
“I…”
“Shush.” She pulled me into her arms. “Sleep. Tomorrow will be interesting.”
***
Around dawn, I heard whispered voices coming from my bedroom, where Jenny was supposed to be asleep. Curious, I got out of bed and tried to hear, hiding behind Gemma’s bedroom door. Was Jenny on the phone with Bernie?
“What was that? Are you sure they’re asleep?” The voice was male and familiar.
“Yeah, dude. Did you bring it?” Jenny whispered back.
Oh, no. One of her buddies wasn’t going to deliver booze to Jen. Not in my home.
I crashed into the bedroom, demanding, “What’s going on?” My eyes latched onto the window screen on the floor.
Jenny flipped around, and Cuddy, his head poking in the screenless window, let out a squeak.
Gemma rushed in. “Tegan, you okay?”
I crossed my arms and tapped my right foot on the carpet, which dampened the effect, but it made me feel better. “Cuddy is delivering beer to Jenny.”
“I am not!” His voice was high-pitched, possibly from guilt or from Jenny dragging him out at such an early hour.
“Then what did you bring?” I stalked to the window with my hand out.
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