All these oddities in Bradbury’s’ behaviour the last two days together began to unravel in my mind. By the time we reached the rose arbour at the bottom of the garden, I was quite overcome by the shock of the realisation I had made.
“Bradbury, I am not sure I understand...” I began to say, sure I must stop this before it truly started, and yet for the first time in either of our lives, he chose not to be a gentleman.
“My apologies, Miss. DeMontford, but I must interrupt. I am not in a position where I am comfortable in doing such a thing on any usual occasion, but I am afraid to say the circumstances in which I find myself are highly irregular.”
I had not an idea how to take such words. Clearly, Bradbury was struggling with something, and the clearing muddle in my mind certainly suggested I may be the centre of his troubles. Still, it was difficult to ascertain exactly where his feelings tended unless he spoke them aloud, and this it seemed might just be the entire impossibility he was facing.
“We have known each other so long, Bradbury,” I said as gently as I could, seating myself on one end of the bench, whilst he continued to pace. “I am sure there is nothing you could say that would shock me, and nothing so very bad occurring that we might not solve it between us. You are a learned man and I am-”
“You are without fault, Miss. DeMontford,” he told me quite unexpectedly, now stood before me with such a look in his eyes as I had never seen nor imagined to receive from a man. “I am to blame for the shocking manner with which this has come about, and I am sorry for it, but I... I am afraid I am not so very well equipped to understand those emotions which come so easily to others,” he tried in vain to explain, and must have seen in my face how very lost I was becoming. “In short, Miss. DeMontford, the events of the last two days together have quite convinced me that... that I am completely in love with you.”
I had thought that the ability to breathe had left me when I was in the arms of the prince, being watched by all my fellow ‘eligible maidens’ at the royal ball. I was quite mistaken. This moment, sat here in the rose arbour with Bradbury looking down on me with what I now realised was love for me written in his every feature, this was the moment when every sane thought left my mind, and even the simplest of tasks, like taking in air, eluded me.
Overcome did not begin to explain my feelings. That Bradbury should care for me, even wish to get to know me in a new way, these things I might’ve understood. Instead he was telling me, in no uncertain terms, that he was quite completely in love with me. Such a thing ought to be impossible and ridiculous, and yet apparently it was true. I had never known Bradbury to lie to me, and doubted such an ardent declaration would ever be untrue.
“I... I wish I knew what I should say,” I said after too long a silence, I was sure. “So many young ladies are used to suitors and would take such a proclamation with grace and gratitude, but I...”
“But I am disappointing to you.” Bradbury shook his head sadly. “I am not the type of man that could deserve such a woman as you, I know,” he told me, things that I had never thought and would never, but there seemed to be no stopping him. “Perhaps I should never have spoken, but Miss. DeMontford... Darling Emelia, I could not bear to think of you in the arms of the prince, or of any man that was not myself.”
He was sat beside me now, his hands holding onto mine, and the world went spinning out of focus as I tried to take in what he was truly telling me. Bradbury loved me. Not only that, but he felt quite unworthy of me. I wanted to laugh and to cry, it was so ridiculous. Never once had I looked at him in such a way, as a potential husband, or as the inferior being he would paint himself as. It was difficult, even impossible, for me to form a new opinion of him so quickly, or to give any kind of sensible response, and yet I must. I could not bear to have him believe this view of himself that he had written for me, for it was wholly untrue.
“Bradbury, I do admit, your confession is wholly unexpected. Until these last few moments, I had not ever thought...” I stumbled over my own words and feelings before I could go on. “However, I cannot allow you to think that I have ever seen you as inferior to me. Indeed, Bradbury, you have always far outdone me in intelligence and education. Even manners, I dare say.”
He shook his head at my words, but I could not permit him to speak, not until I was finished. He seemed willing to allow me that, after his previous interruptions.
“You know that I do care for you, Bradbury. A great deal, in fact,” I admitted then. “I am just not certain that... that I am the kind of woman that could...”
“Emelia!”
My cousin’s voice came far too loud and shrill from across the lawn. All at once Alexa was in view, running as fast as her legs would carry her and in such an unladylike manner. Still, despite my shock at her apparent panic, I was disappointed to realise Bradbury’s hands had let go of my own and he was now stood up again, ram-rod straight and unemotional as ever he had been before.
“Alexa, whatever is the matter?” I asked her, as breathless as she after such turns of events.
“The duke is here,” she gasped out, grabbing at my hand and pulling too hard. “You are to come to the house at once, for you might be the very one they’re searching for!”
All I remember, as I was dragged away by my cousin, was the look of sheer disappointment in Bradbury’s eyes when I looked back at him. That pain he wore in his expression pierced my heart in a moment and made me realise something I had never known before. Not only did Bradbury truly love me, but perhaps, all this time, I had been blind to the fact that I loved him too.
Chapter 6
It was without question the most preposterous situation I had ever found myself in. I might well have laughed at the explanation I was hearing, if not for the fact I was still in shock from what had gone before. The duke was here, and he needed my attention in a matter involving the prince. I should have been listening intently and yet my mind would not stay focused at all.
Poor Bradbury. His was the only face I saw in my mind’s eye as I was unceremoniously dragged from the garden and into the house. Alexa would not give up her hold on my hand, or her constant squealing about how exciting the whole situation was. I confess, I barely heard a word, nor even really felt her grip on my fingers. I only knew the situation I had been in moments before in the rose arbour with Bradbury.
My hands were held in his then, and he was telling me he loved me. It was the most unlikely confession, and then for me to realise I might share his feelings. It would have been a great service if I had been given at least a few moments to process all the thoughts and feelings that hit me in such a rush. Unfortunately, there was simply no time, as Alexa told me over again, a moment before we arrived in the main entrance hall. We found Aunt Beatrice, the duke, and four members of the palace security all waiting for us.
“Here she is,” Alexa announced with over-abundant glee.
“Yes, here I am,” I echoed, though I knew not why.
The duke looked altogether flustered, and my aunt was hardly in a better state. I faced them both, bobbing into a curtsey and trying to catch my breath so I might speak again.
“My apologies, your grace. I hope you were not kept waiting long,” I said as calmly as I could manage. “Indeed, I am honoured that you would call upon us-”
“Each and every young lady in the kingdom is similarly honoured, Emelia,” my aunt was quick to interrupt me, and I could not blame her.
When nerves came upon me, I did and still do have a terrible tendency to allow my tongue to rattle about in my head quite without thought for the words I might be saying and to whom. As my mind quickly filled itself with all the possible explanations for the duke’s presence here, panic overtook me, until Aunt Beatrice’s words finally sunk in. He was visiting all the young ladies of the kingdom, apparently, and yet I could not imagine why. To let us all down equally gently? Telling each poor unfortunate soul that they had not been chosen as the prince’s bride?
“You might be the one, Em
my!” Alexa told me, hanging off my arm even then, until her mother silenced her with a severe look.
Her over-excited presence was being tolerated because it was such an honour for her to meet the duke, I was sure. It was only as I turned to look at her then and beg her to keep her countenance in front of company, that I realised Bradbury had followed us. Hovering in the background, as he so often did, he looked entirely confused. I must confess, I felt very similarly afflicted myself, and wished only that someone would explain just exactly what was going on. It was the duke that eventually obliged me, though I had never verbalised my request.
“Madam, young ladies, sir,” he addressed each of us in turn. “I have been sent on an extraordinary endeavour by His Royal Highness, the prince,” he explained with a flourish. “At last night’s ball, his highness found himself quite taken with one particular young lady, who disappeared, as if by magic, on the stroke of midnight.”
I smiled in relief as much as happiness at the sound of those words. The prince had found his true love, something I had been quite certain of the night before when I saw him dancing with the mysterious stranger who wore the most exquisite of dresses. It would seem that same young lady of unknown origin had left without ever giving her name or being identified by anyone at the palace, which was quite a feat, considering the way we had all been introduced. Such a puzzle as this might take some untangling, but not by me or my family. I was not this mystery woman and intended to say as much at the first opportunity.
“Oh, Emelia, my darling,” Aunt Beatrice all but melted onto the floor as she took in what she thought she was being told. “You have been chosen.”
“No, indeed, Aunt,” I was quick to tell her, and more so Bradbury, who I knew was still there behind me. “I was lucky enough to share one dance with his highness, but that is all. I am not who you seek, your grace,” I told the duke then, “I am quite certain about that.”
He eyed me curiously, and I wondered at it. Surely, he recalled introducing me to the prince, remembered our one dance that led onto another with an entirely different young lady. I suppose it ought to have occurred to me that his memory could not be so very good. There had been truly hundreds of us at the ball, all in our best evening gowns, with fancy hairstyles, and jewels at our throats and ears. A great many may be unrecognisable by the cold light of day, and with various groups of sisters and cousins, similar names and the like, I suppose it was not so strange that the duke would be oblivious as to which woman was the prince’s particular favourite.
Still, I wondered at the prince himself not knowing the name of his lady friend. Certainly, he knew my name when we danced together. Whilst I’m quite convinced the late-comer I saw him entwined with at the ball was never formally introduced as the rest of us had been, surely, he must have asked her name at some point.
“In any case,” said the duke suddenly. “I have been instructed by his majesty to visit every house in the kingdom, and ensure that all young ladies present try on this slipper,” he told us with a flourish as he carefully lifted a silken cloth from a pillow held by one of the royal guards.
I had not really noticed he was holding anything at all until that moment. Not so surprising perhaps since I was quite distracted by what the duke was saying, and keeping my eye on Bradbury at the same time. He was off to my right, and my looking sideways only ensured he was still there. I could not read his expression without being entirely obvious in my glances, and somehow it seemed improper to allow my attention to wander so obviously from the duke.
Alexa shifted beside me when she saw the slipper I was apparently required to try on. No doubt she was confused as to how such an item might be my own. I owned no shoes of the kind, and everyone present in our home ought to have known as much. The duke was to be told the same, I was quite determined, and yet the moment I opened my mouth, Aunt Beatrice quickly cut in.
“Really, Emelia. We must not delay the duke any longer,” she insisted, gesturing towards a nearby chair.
I was quite dumb-struck by her behaviour. She must have realised, just as I did, that this whole situation was preposterous. If nothing else, she knew which shoes I had worn to the ball, and they were the best match of blue satin we could find for my gown. There was no possible way that this glass slipper would fit my own foot and prove me to be the prince’s future bride, no way at all. Still, it seemed I had no choice but to do my duty, just as I had last night in attending the ball.
As I began to move towards the chair, Bradbury intercepted me. He took hold of the seat by its back, moving around behind me so that I might so easily be seated upon it.
“Thank you,” I said automatically, looking up over my shoulder and into his face.
There was such a pain in his eyes as I could not bear to see. He ought to have believed me when I promised so faithfully I was not betrothed to the prince, nor had any wish to be so. The timing of this entire event was quite misplaced to my mind, when a conversation of such important had been taking place between the two of us before.
Perhaps it was best that we just got the duke’s visit over and done with so Bradbury and I might resume our talk of love. I smiled as I realised that was exactly what we should do, and turned in my seat to face the prince’s greatest friend.
I found his grace all but on his knees before me in anticipation. Slipping my foot from its house-shoe, I lifted it enough for him to take in his hand. The glass slipper was placed on my toes and then eased back, fitting perfectly at my heel. As the duke’s hands moved slowly away, a gasp went through the entire hallway.
The shoe fit.
“I... I don’t understand!” The truth of those words as they came tumbling from my lips seemed to make no difference at all. “Truly, Aunt, I am in earnest!”
She was unmoved by my desperation or my words. Aunt Beatrice had the widest of smiles I had ever seen on her lips in all my years, and I must confess I was terrified by that grin. She felt that the most wonderful thing had just happened here, I knew. She could have no idea that my heart was breaking in two.
Alexa was unbearably giddy somewhere behind my chair, squealing and dancing about. I should not blame her, I know, but in that moment, I just wanted to scream for her to please be quiet or go away entirely. The dear sweet child, she meant no harm. She was only excited for what she saw as the most wonderful turn of events. Her dearest cousin was to be a princess, it would have been a dream come true for Alexa herself. For myself, it was all but a nightmare, made worse by the lie of it all.
“Miss. DeMontford,” the duke was saying the moment I paid him the slightest of attention. “Please allow me to escort you to the royal palace-”
“No!”
The interruption was sharp and loud, too much so, and yet it took me a full minute to realise it had come from my own lips. My hand shot up to cover my mouth, for fear I should again speak out of turn. I was afraid to stand up in case I should fall down, or worse shatter the glass slipper still upon my foot. This was the most confounded and ridiculous situation I had ever found myself in and I had not an inkling of how to get out of it. For the prince to instruct these men to go forth and identify his future bride by way of fitting a shoe was beyond madness, and yet to say as such would be considered all but treason.
“My humblest apologies, your grace, but I am not the maid you seek,” I tried to explain to the duke, feeling ridiculous as tears came to my eyes and streaked down my cheeks unchecked. “Truly, I am but fortunate enough to share similar feet to the young lady in question, but I am not she.”
“Indeed,” said a voice behind me, and I turned on my seat to see Bradbury still standing there.
He was the only person present that might have been more shocked and upset than I was myself. Poor dear man, who had but minutes ago tried to give me his heart, and now he must believe that I had already given my own to the prince. It was not true, but I could quite see how he might believe it, with a duke and a royal guard telling him as such, as well as my aunt and cousin believing it
. I had to make him see better sense.
“Bradbury, I am not-”
“I must go,” he cut me off sharply, nodding his head once in a kind of goodbye.
All at once, he had turned on his heel and walked away, leaving me to sob into my own hands. This was not what I wanted nor what I tried to gain last night at the ball. It was the complete opposite of any dream I ever had, and at that precise moment, I saw no way to escape the destiny I neither wanted nor deserved.
“Emelia,” said my aunt, her voice soft in my ear as her hand went to my shoulder. “I know this is a very great day in your life, but try to regain your composure, my dear,” she told me gently as I slowly looked up at her. “You are to be a princess, you know.”
She did not believe me, I realise that now, or perhaps she did, but preferred to pretend otherwise. She wanted happiness for me, of course she did, but she would also like to think I would have wealth and status too. She knew nothing of how my heart broke at the prospect of being tied to a man, any man that I did not truly love.
The pressure of such a situation was too much to bear. All at once I had prised the glass slipper from my foot, slipped back into my own shoe, and set off at a run before anyone should get in my way. I wasn’t clear on where I was going or what good my escape might do in the long term. I only knew I had to get away from these people, from this presumably unintentional lie that was fast becoming my future. I just ran.
Chapter 7
Perhaps I ought to have been grateful to realise nobody followed me when I ran from the main foyer in a fit of hysterics. In actuality, all I could think of was the pain in my heart and the panic in my head.
Fairytales Reimagined, Volume I Page 4