A huge part of me wanted to laugh and say no. I didn’t date. Hell, it wasn’t Max I didn’t trust, it was that I trusted no one. Every person I met was a potential threat against everything I’d built. And with Dorian finding me, I knew he wasn’t going to let me go quietly into the night. But there was this tiny, little part of me that whispered that it was just one dinner. No promises being made. Food, talking, and maybe a little teasing. I could think about it like going out with a friend.
“Okay, sure. I’ll go to dinner with you.”
Max’s eyes widened. “Seriously?”
“Was I supposed to say no?” I laughed.
“No, no, I just assumed you’d say no, is all.”
“Well, surprise.” The moment got slightly awkward after that, and I was glad when Tank woke up. “I need to give him his pain pill and feed him.”
“Right, so tomorrow when I see you we can figure out when?” Max stood and moved out of the way as I got Tank’s things.
“Perfect.”
“Great.” He walked to the door but didn’t leave. “You really mean yes?”
I chuckled as I crushed the pain pill and sprinkled it on a spoonful of food for Tank. “Yes. I won’t bail on you. I promise.”
“Okay.” He stared for a moment, nodded, and then walked out.
I was still chuckling a few minutes after he was gone. I gave Tank his pain pill and he ate. Afterward, he curled up on my lap, and I figured that was fine. He was tiny enough that I could answer some emails while he dozed on me.
I was so lost in thought as I scrolled my emails, wondering where Max and I would go for our dinner date…wow, date…that I didn’t notice anyone stepping into my office.
“What is that?” Dorian’s voice snapped me out of my daydream, and I realized he was sneering at Tank.
“My dog. What do you want, Dorian?” He made my skin crawl, and remembering what his touch felt like made me want to vomit.
“I don’t think animals are allowed on these premises.” He slapped a few papers down on my desk. “I may need to make an addendum in the new lease if you can’t seem to realize that,” he snapped, but I was too busy staring at the papers.
“This is the new lease?”
He grinned. “It is.”
I took the papers and began reading. I saw Dorian sit on the couch; obviously he wasn’t going anywhere, so I did my best to ignore him and read the lease. With each line, article, new rule, my heart sank. I realized in that moment that Dorian was going to make my life a living hell until I couldn’t take it anymore.
“You doubled the rent?”
He shrugged. “Earl was undercharging you.”
“I’m going to guess you’re going to double the rent at the apartment too?”
He chuckled darkly. “Probably. I suppose that depends on you.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Tank stirred on my lap, likely noticing the shift in my temperament.
“It means whatever I say it means. Now, I know you can afford the rent increase…unless you need to shut this place down, leaving your friends jobless and you dreamless.”
When I left Dorian and took that money, for a brief period of time I’d felt guilty. But then I’d remember the verbal abuse, the beatings, the ownership he felt he had of me and wished I’d taken more.
“No. This will be fine.” I slipped the lease into my drawer. “I’ll just have my lawyer go over it. I’ll return it to you soon.” I turned away from him, facing my computer screen.
“I don’t want to see that rat here again,” he snapped.
“Have a nice day, Dorian.”
I felt a drop of sweat slide along my neck. He terrified me. Seventeen-year-old me would have apologized profusely for Tank, would have begged Dorian to forgive me. But I wasn’t seventeen anymore, and I wasn’t begging.
“Watch your tongue,” he growled.
“Or you’ll cut it out, right?” I spun in my chair; Tank yelped but I placed a hand on him. “Isn’t that what you used to say to me when I spoke out of turn, Dorian. That you’d cut it out?”
“And don’t act like I won’t!”
We stared each other down, and I had no doubt our conversation would have escalated had one of his men not entered my office, telling Dorian they had to go for a meeting.
When he left, it was as if all the energy had been zapped out of me. I had no idea what I was going to do to get out of this web Dorian had spun for me. But I knew I had to figure out something before he destroyed me and everything I loved.
Chapter Fifteen
Max
A few hours before we opened Joker’s Sin, all the performers of the night met on the floor. Some of them were half-dressed in character. I had the utmost respect for drag queens, and seeing all they did to prepare for their act made that grow immensely.
Atlas was going over the order and schedule of the show. They had done a sort of dress rehearsal with him on their own time, so he was ready for this. I was excited to see what they had in store. People were paying a hefty price to come in tonight, and I had a feeling it would be worth every penny.
“I want to thank you all for volunteering your time for charity. I know it’s going to be one hell of a night, and I can’t wait to see how you all rock the house,” Atlas said, and everyone cheered. “So, head to the back and finish getting ready. Toby will inform you when we open the doors and let you all know when you’re up.”
I watched from the bar as they all trekked away to where the break room had been transformed into a dressing room. Sparkles was talking with a few people I knew he got to sign up to participate tonight, so I simply gave him a small wave when he looked over, happy when he returned it.
I was dying to see Sparkles perform. As amazing as I knew they’d all be, he was the one I would watch from beginning to end.
I had a full staff tonight, and the floor had tons of servers. It was going to be a busy and wonderful night for sure. I wore a deep red button-down and black pants. Each bartender also had a solid color shirt on and black pants. Servers looked similar but with sequined bow ties. Ciro and the security were in all black as they often liked to hide in the shadows. Ledger was in white, on stage, ready to make sure the show went on flawlessly.
I heard Ciro say through my earpiece that he was opening the door in one minute, and Ledger started the music. My staff was ready, and the second the doors opened, people flowed in. A lot of the same people I was used to, who were willing to spend the money knowing the show would be grand. There were a lot of new faces too. It was always easy to spot someone who was seeing the place for the first time. They walked through the club, looking up and around at everything.
We were handing out drinks within seconds. So many orders and I laughed as I thought of the proceeds the LGBT Center would be getting for tonight. I’d just handed a cosmopolitan to a patron and moved to the next person waiting. My face must have shown my disdain for Dorian since he grinned and said, “I see you remember me.”
“What can I get you?” I had no time or want to speak with this man.
“So much for customer service, huh?” He narrowed his eyes. I could hear people around me shouting out orders.
“Do you want anything or not? I got a lot of thirsty people here.” I waved at the people all waiting to be served.
“Okay, I’ll have a Blood and Sand.” He smirked. It wasn’t a typical drink, and I could count probably on one hand how many times I’d made it, and from the way he smirked it was clear he didn’t think I knew how to make one.
“Sure thing.” I grabbed a cocktail shaker and if he was shocked, he didn’t show it. I mixed it and poured it into a glass. I cut a round piece of the orange and grabbed a book of matches. I placed the drink on the countertop in front of me, and Dorian watched every move I made. I lit the match and held it several inches above the cocktail. With the orange peel colored-side down, I waved it over the flame, letting the oils gather. This wasn’t necessary, but it added a little flair to the drink. It wasn
’t that I wanted to impress Dorian; I wanted him to realize he shouldn’t misjudge people. Once the oils were gathered, I twisted and squeezed the orange over the flame and blew it out. I rubbed the peel around the glass, dropped it in, and handed it to him.
“Impressive,” he said. He took a sip. “Delicious.”
“So glad you like it.” I was about to tell him the price, but he tossed me a fifty.
“Keep the change.” He winked and walked away. I didn’t have time to react—another person was in front of me asking for a drink.
I served for an hour before the music changed, and I knew the show was about to begin.
“Welcome one and all to an event like no other here at Joker’s Sin!” Atlas stood center stage, dressed in a bright-red shimmering suit, his golden microphone in his hand. “The best queens are drag queens, in my opinion. They are the only royalty I will bow down for.” The place erupted in cheers and I laughed. The excitement was electric.
“We have amazing performers here tonight, and starting us off with the help of Cher and the need to Believe is the lovely Tess. T. Bagg.” Atlas waved his hand, and the queen took the stage. Long black hair, a silver dress, and attitude.
“Believe” by Cher began to play, and Tess put on a killer performance with a few background dancers. The place was jumping, and the drinks were flowing.
After Tess was Anita Licks lip-syncing “Genie in A Bottle” by Christina Aguilera. It was outstanding, and I had to make sure I didn’t get lost in the show and forget the patrons.
“For our next performance…” Atlas said with a smile. “It’s double the queen.” Loud shouts and cheers filled the club once again. “We have Carmalina Cherry Pop.” He waved his hand and a slight-figured person, with a bright-red wig and a dress covered in cherries, walked up next to him. There was something familiar about her, but I couldn’t place it. “And singing with Carmalina Cherry Pop is Ivanna Grindsum.” He turned, and onto the stage walked Sparkles. It didn’t matter what he wore—I’d know that body anywhere.
“Hi there, sugar,” Carmalina said into the mic.
“Are you two ready to sing us some Tay Tay?” Atlas laughed as he spoke.
“We have a double whammy for you tonight,” Ivanna—Sparkles—said.
“Then let’s hear it.” Atlas moved away, and once he was off the stage, the first notes of “The Man” by Taylor Swift began, and Sparkles had the mic.
He was absolutely flawless. Once the chorus began, the backup dancers were dancing and lip-syncing right along. Carmalina danced around the stage, rubbing against the dancers. But my eyes followed Sparkles all around the stage. I could hear people shouting but didn’t care what they wanted, Sparkles had my attention.
The wig he was wearing I’d watched him comb at his desk. His makeup was perfection, and he glowed. He was wearing a skintight pink-and-white jumpsuit and heels that were insanely high. I didn’t know how he wasn’t falling on his face.
Right as the song was ending, it morphed into “9 to 5” by Dolly Parton, and Carmalina stepped up and started to sing. But where I thought Sparkles would leave, he sang right along with her. They were amazing. If I didn’t know better, I’d think Sparkles did this every day.
I was so lost in the show, it wasn’t until Shane nudged me that I moved. Atlas was just taking the stage again, and Sparkles was waving as he walked down.
I hoped he wouldn’t leave so I could talk to him like he said we would. I then got lost in the many drink orders coming our way and listened as the show went on, but nothing grabbed me like Sparkles’s show.
Chapter Sixteen
Lane
“That was so much fun!” Nolan said as he took off his bright-red wig. “I’m so glad you talked me into it.”
Nolan had surprised me when he overheard me on a call talking to some friends about being part of the show at Joker’s Sin. He said he’d spent an entire summer a couple of years ago in a traveling drag show. So when he showed me his act, I knew Atlas would love it.
“I have to admit, it was a lot more fun than I thought it would be.” I sat down and removed my shoes. “But there’s no way I could wear shoes like this all day, every day.”
Nolan chuckled and we were quiet as we cleaned off our makeup, changed, and tried to stay out of the way of the other performers. This had to be making the LGBT Center a lot of money. It felt so good to do something like this—as if it were washing away some of my own sins through the years.
Once we were all changed, we went out to hit the floor. I needed a drink and as we walked over to the bar, I saw Nolan’s boyfriend, Seth, waiting for him. He was an ER doctor and was so excited he had the night off to watch the show.
“You were both amazing.” He smiled and kissed Nolan, and my heart ached just a little bit. I sort of wanted that kind of love.
“What can I get you?” I turned and came face-to-face with a beaming Max.
“I would love some ice water and a mango margarita?” I said.
“You got it and…oh, Nolan, were you Carmelina?” I knew Nolan had issues with Max, but I’d talked with him and told him he was a good guy and to please just be nice.
“I was.” Okay, he didn’t snap at Max, so that was good.
“You were really good. What can I get you?” That seemed to file the edges of Nolan’s hostility, and he ordered the same as I did.
I wished Max could talk with us, and that was a weird feeling since I usually spent most of my time avoiding him. It was strange what a few run-ins with the man could do.
“I just need to use the bathroom; I’ll be right back. Watch my drink?” I handed it to Nolan, who said he would, and made my way to the restroom.
The line moved fast and when it was my turn, only a stall was available. I didn’t care; I went to it quickly. I did my business and just when I unlocked the stall, it was pushed open.
“Jesus, I was getting out, what’s your—” My words were cut off as Dorian forced his way into the stall and locked it.
“Quite the show you put on tonight.” He was pressed up against me; the stall wasn’t made for two people. Being this close to him was unnerving, and it was loud to the point where if I screamed, no one would hear me, or they’d think it was me getting off in here.
“Glad you liked it. Can you move so I can get out?”
“Why are you in such a hurry…Sparkles?” He placed his hand on my chest, making sure I didn’t move. He’d figured out what they called me here, tainting the name. When he spoke that name, it was like blood over diamonds.
“Do you want a cookie for making a discovery, Dorian?” I snapped, and he pressed harder and harder.
“How about not being so lippy?”
My chest was beginning to ache, and I knew what he was capable of. He’d cut off my air until I passed out and would leave me here.
“What do you want?” I gasped.
“Just to watch you, like this…needing me to allow you to breathe.” He narrowed his eyes, lips set in a frown.
I wouldn’t allow myself to be his punching bag again. I looked down, and realizing my knee was between his legs, I jolted it up, connecting with his balls.
“Motherfucker!” he shouted as he let me go and cupped his nuts. When he sat on the toilet, I unlocked the door and made to leave. Right as I was stepping out, he kicked behind my legs, causing me to fall and slam my cheek on the floor.
“Damn, man, are you okay?” A guy kneeled to help me up.
“Yeah, I’m just—”
“Bleeding,” the guy said as the stall door slammed shut. I hoped one of Dorian’s balls exploded and he died in there.
“I slipped.”
The guy didn’t look convinced at all. “Yeah, let’s get you some ice.”
I didn’t want to make a big deal out of this, but I also wanted to get away from Dorian and if I was with this guy, then maybe Dorian’s men wouldn’t try and stop me.
“My friend is at the bar with my drink.” The guy nodded at me and helped me ov
er to Nolan and Seth.
“What the hell happened?” Nolan hopped off his stool, handed the drinks to Seth, and took my hand.
“I slipped.”
The guy who walked me over rolled his eyes. “He was pushed by some dude.”
“What guy?” Seth asked, placing the drinks on the bar and getting one of the bartenders for ice and a wet cloth. It was only a matter of time until Max heard about this.
“I don’t know who, the guy slammed the stall door. But he stormed into the men’s room after this one went in and went into the stall. Few minutes later, this guy gets pushed out.” “This guy,” for fuck’s sake.
“I’m fine.” I let Seth check me out because it might shut everyone up.
“No chipped teeth or anything, it seems. Here let me wipe the blood and then hold the ice to your cheek.” I shut up and let him do as he wanted. Nolan was talking to the guy who had helped me. Good looking with a hippy vibe. I’d seen him around a few times but he wasn’t my type so we never talked until now.
“Is he still in there?” The sound of Max’s voice had me turning toward him. Anger like I’d never seen filled his eyes. It was like a storm.
“I uh…maybe?” the guy said, and in an almost graceful move, Max hopped the bar and started racing toward the bathroom.
“Oh, shit!” I slammed the ice on the bar and started chasing after Max. On my way, I saw Toby. “Toby! Max is about to beat the shit out of someone, get Atlas!” Toby’s eyes widened, and he started talking into a mouthpiece.
“Move,” I heard Max yell, and I tried to follow, but a second later I heard a crash and the sound of flesh hitting flesh.
“Who the fuck do you think you are, you piece of shit?” I made my way through in time to see Max slam Dorian against the wall.
“I see the little fucker got you wrapped around his cock too.” Dorian chuckled, not at all worried what Max would do to him.
“You hurt him, I hurt you, it’s that simple.” He punched Dorian in the gut.
To Die For (Joker's Sin Book 2) Page 7