We had the same fear of not being loved in return and this was killing us.
However, I could not erase my torment: did Easton love me? Would he ever love me?
I wasn't sure I wanted to give it my all.
He had already torn me to pieces once.
Who was to say he wouldn't do it again?
19
EASTON
"You fucked her, didn't you?" I yelled at Logan when I saw him come back to our room.
I had been with Ryo and Ant all night, as they tried to distract me from running to the dormitory and checking on Alice and Logan.
I had gone mad not knowing what had happened and what Logan would do to Alice.
He was always desired by the girls for his muscles, his personal care that resulted in narcissism, his seductive smile and finally his maturity that made him more adult and reliable than all the others.
He was my best friend, the only one I had always confided in without problem, unlike Ryo who was more surly, unpredictable, and too similar to me to understand my difficulties with Alice.
Logan was the only one who could break through to Alice's heart effortlessly. He knew how to deal with people, what to say or do at the right time ...
I always liked him for this, but at the moment I hated him because after all he was better than me.
He would have been perfect for Alice.
“ Easton calm down. Nothing happened," he replied, but I was too jealous and angry to believe him.
I grabbed him violently by the collar of his jacket.
"So why have you been in her room so far?"
“ She asked me to stay with her. She was shaken by the party and too drunk to be left alone. I took care of her just like you would."
"Did you go to bed with her?"
"Are you crazy? Do I look like the guy who takes drunk girls to bed and falls in love with their best friend?"
"Fall in love? Are you in love with her? "
"In my opinion? Easton, you're so blind and scared that you don't notice the feelings of others."
"She told me yesterday that she does not love me," I reminded him.
"You scared her, Easton, with your ways and your obstinacy in staying away from love! But I will tell you one thing: Alice is in love with you, but if you don't do something right away, you'll lose her. "
"What should I do?"
"Confess what you feel for her."
"I ... I don't feel anything," I stammered, feeling that anguish tightening my stomach every time I thought what it meant to really love someone ... and then lose that person.
“ You’re lying to yourself, but this time you will regret it. Alice is too important for you and when you lose her and see her make a new life with another boy, you will understand what you have lost, but it will be too late."
"That's not true," I stammered, feeling like my chest was compressed, preventing me from breathing deeply.
"Ah no? So why did we decide that we would have a good time every day in college with a party and a new girl, but after you met Alice, you left the group and never took a freshman to bed anymore? I know how often you had sex and I assure you it was very different from what it is now. You haven't fucked a woman for months and you know why? You are waiting for Alice and since you found out that she is a virgin, you have decided to apply the brakes even more, waiting for her to feel ready. The Easton I know would never have done such a thing! For as much as you tell me I'm wrong, I know who you are, and I know Alice has changed you. For the better."
It's true.
"It is true."
"There's no point in continuing to deny it. I've known you for too long. You are no longer the guy who lived to create scandals or do stupid things. You have changed. She changed you. I don't know how, but she did it. Somehow, Alice has managed to give you a stability and tranquility that you have always lacked. Now it's up to you to decide what to do but remember that time is running out because Alice won't wait for you forever," he said, determined to shake me. But the more his words entered my mind, the more I feared that it was attacking me.
"I'm not ready," I confessed.
"I know and I'm sorry, my friend," he murmured quietly.
“ Come on, Easton, it's not too late. You will see that Alice will come to you sooner or later. You are meant to be together” Ant interposed. He had remained silent and motionless all this time since I had threatened to punch him if he dared to stop in front of Logan when he returned to our room.
"Just remember that once you become hers, then you won't be able to go back," Ryo warned darkly. "You risk tearing yourself apart."
“ Shut up, Ryo. You’re scaring him,” Ant was angry.
“ I'm just saying that Alice has gone too far into him to not fear her. It just takes one moment for love to turn into pure poison that flows through your veins. "
"Says the one who doesn't even know what love is," Logan teased. “Easton don't listen to him. He is too much like you to give you useful advice. "
"I'm just saying what I think," Ryo grumbled, offended.
"Well, you think wrong!" Ant said. “Alice doesn't seem to me to be that kind of girl. She is also a virgin, so she is not one who gives it away easily. This leads me to think she's a girl with a good head. "
"Easton, wasn't it you who told us that Alice introduced you to her father saying you are important to her?" Logan reminded me. "A girl who says such a thing means she really cares about you."
“ Yes, but as brother and sister. She told me the day before yesterday. I wish I had killed her. I can't stand it when she treats me like a brother," I raged at that memory.
"Maybe that's why she doesn't sleep with you," Ryo tried.
"Did you do something or did you just kiss?" Ant asked me worriedly.
“ What happened between us goes beyond the relationship between brother and sister. Trust me," I replied without going into detail. I had never been shy or reserved about talking about my sexual experiences, but those with Alice would remain mine alone. I didn't want to share them with anyone.
"Man, oh man!" sighed Ant who understood my words.
"At this point, I advise you to get closer to her," Logan decided.
'Yes, and since you're there, take her to bed. Have sex. Then you will see that she will stop running away from you or get away from you,” Ryo followed, winking at me. He always thought that everything was solved by sex.
“ Ryo, stop it! Easton, go back to her and you will see that everything will work out,” Ant intervened.
You're right but I'm afraid. She wants more from me and I don't know how.
The words of my three friends cheered me up, but I still felt too upset to run to her and try to get her back.
I decided to take some time, but on the evening of that conversation the unthinkable happened.
"Hey, Easton, you didn't tell me that you and your friends are going over to your pseudo-sister! I knew she was your own territory,” Clay burst out, sitting on the bench in the main lounge next to me and showing me my cell phone.
I looked at the display and, in a moment, I was seized and blinded with anger.
Someone had posted the photo of Alice and Logan kissing at the party on Instagram.
How could my best friend have done this to me?
He lied to me!
He said that nothing had happened and instead ...
Out of the corner of my eye I suddenly saw him.
I got up, ready to vent all the fury that flowed through my veins.
I went up to him. His back was toward me and to my surprise I noticed that he was talking to Alice who was showing him her cell phone.
"No, Easton!" She screamed at me, understanding my intentions, but I chased her away and threw myself on Logan.
I knew my friend was much more fit and stronger than me, but at that moment I could have killed him.
I punched him in the jaw with all the strength I had.
"You said nothing happened!" I yelled at him, hitting
him again, while he remained impassive.
"I didn't lie," he replied calmly, earning himself another punch.
"Easton, please stop!" Alice intervened with tears in her eyes. "It was me! I kissed him! "
I looked at her incredulously. She had started to cry again and covered her eyes with her hands.
"It was me, okay? I… I didn't want to,” she murmured, crushed by guilt.
"That's true," Logan said. "She was so drunk she didn't even know what she was doing."
"How could you kiss him?" I got angry with her, feeling betrayed.
“ I don't remember. I don't know how it happened. I didn't want to kiss Logan. I ... I ... "
"You disgust me," I silenced her, unable to listen to another word from her mouth.
I was in pieces, destroyed, disappointed, and betrayed by the girl I was falling in love with.
"Don't talk to her like that! Alice was really sick last night! Or have you forgotten how I had to carry her away?” Logan reminded me, annoyed by my attitude.
“ I’ll speak to her as I wish! Rather, think about keeping your hands in place and keep them away or next time I won't limit myself to a couple of punches!” I threatened him, blinded by anger.
"Take it easy, man, and thank God that it was me who was there and not another. Otherwise today things would be different and maybe Alice would have gone beyond that kiss without even realizing it,” Logan made me guess.
Alice could have ended up in bed with another boy ...
That thought made me collect myself.
The idea of Alice with another boy made me crazy and, after that photo and that kiss, I felt that the thought of knowing that she was with another was unbearable.
"Alice," I called, determined to scare her, and threaten her to keep her away from the other boys. "Try to throw yourself in another's arms again and ..."
"I do what I want!" Alice stopped me. "You can't command me, and I want you to leave me alone!"
I called her back but this time she ran out of the lounge and I couldn't grab her in time to stop her.
"You're an idiot! You should have consoled her, not threatened her,” Logan reproached me.
"You shut up! I haven't forgiven you yet! "
"You should thank me, and you know it."
Yes, I knew it. Logan would never take advantage of her.
"Thanks," I murmured, feeling anxiety growing at the thought of who knows what other boy could try with her now.
20
EASTON
"I can't let Alice have a boyfriend or try others," I decided, turning to my friends.
"You've already been quite clear about that and I don't think there is anyone here who wants you as an enemy," Ryo replied.
“ I know, but after the picture of that kiss between her and Logan, things have changed. Three days have passed, and Alice still avoids me like the plague. However, in American Politics I noticed someone flirting with her," I replied irritably.
"Why don't you ask her to be your girlfriend and just end it? Easton, you're verging on the ridiculous,” Logan snapped.
"I don't even think about her. Right now, she doesn't want to know about me and if I insist too much, I'm afraid of losing her. I just need some time. "
"No, you need a handful of courage to step forward with your head covered with ashes," Ant chuckled.
"I was thinking of keeping her busy until it just cleared up a bit."
"How?"
"I don’t know."
"With a stopper!" Ant answered.
"What do you mean?"
“ I mean a fake boyfriend who is with her but without falling in love with her or taking her to bed. Someone you trust and who would be willing to put in a good word for you to get you back into her good graces, "Ant said.
"That would be perfect! Who could I entrust this task? "
"Not me, for sure," Ryo put his hands forward. "I promise you I won't fall in love with her, but I won't assure you that I won't get into her panties."
"You're a pig!" laughed Logan.
“ The Saint has spoken! Look, I know very well what is hidden behind that perfect air! Why don't you go to Alice, huh? “Ryo provoked.
"He's not!" I fidgeted immediately. "He already kissed her."
"She kissed me," Logan clarified, exasperated. “And I don't want to quarrel with you again about Alice. Keep me out of this. "
"Well, I'll stay! It's up to me to be a knight in shining armor,” Ant exclaimed amused.
I looked at Ant. I trusted him. He was bright, intelligent, super technological and had always been loyal to me.
He also had an ironclad moral code that prevented him from trying anything with his best friends' sisters or exes.
Because of what she was to me, to him Alice was untouchable.
"Do you think you can do it?"
"I already know how."
"Don't make me laugh!" Ryo teased.
“ I'm going to be her boyfriend by tonight. Want to bet?” Ant said firmly.
We all remained silent.
That determination and confidence paralyzed me.
"I can really trust you, can't I?" I murmured uneasily.
"Obviously."
"Aren't you in love with her?"
"Absolutely not. She’s not my type. She’s not even registered with Google Arcade or Instant Games!”
"You know that not all the world revolves around video games, do you?" laughed Ryo who could not understand his passion for everything virtual and technological.
"That’s a sin! It should,” Ant snorted with a shrug.
"You scare me."
***
ALICE
"Isn't it strange that Easton is leaving you alone?" Felicity asked me as we took a break from studying, sitting on Kira's bed.
"Maybe he realized he blew it big time when he saw her cry because of that kiss," Kira said, munching on some chips.
"I don't know," I blew weakly. Talking about Easton still made me feel bad and the distance was killing me.
Why can't he be like all the other guys and just apologize and tell me he wants to be with me?
“ I still think that you should find yourself another boy and leave that idiot alone. Of course, you have to see if Easton will allow you to go out with another student. I know him too well not to know how insidious and threatening he can be with other kids."
"And who says she should go out with someone from this university? There are many places to go, full of kids who aren’t in circles," Kira replied.
I was about to try to change the subject and go back to studying when I heard a knock on the door.
"Are you waiting for someone?" Felicity asked.
"No. I'll go,” I sighed, relieved to close the conversation that made me feel bad.
I opened the door and to my surprise I found Ant, Easton’s taciturn and nerdy friend.
"Hi," I greeted him, not knowing what to say.
"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" he asked point-blank.
I didn't know whether I was more shocked by his sexy voice or for from what he had asked me.
"What?!" I blurted out incredulously.
"I want you to be my girlfriend," he said in a more determined, almost annoyed tone, as if he were talking about equations to a three-year-old girl who could never understand him.
"Are you serious? I mean, does Easton know?
"I don't have to ask for Easton's authorization."
I smiled at that rebellion against his friend's rules.
"I know. It's just that I said it for you. I don't want him to punch you too."
“ There is no danger of that, believe me. So, will you be my girlfriend? "
I looked him straight in the eye.
Hell, he was so serious it made me laugh.
I turned to my two friends, looking for an answer. It's not that I wanted to know what to answer Ant, but I was wondering: was this a joke?
Kira gave me a wary look, while Felicity was completely captured by A
nt who was staring in ecstasy, with wide and excited eyes.
Kira was telling me to turn him down and kick him out, while Felicity would have shouted a yes as big as a house if she could have spoken for me.
I turned back to the newcomer.
"Well, I don't think that ..." I tried to explain to him, being careful not to hurt his feelings. I always had.
“ Ok, done! As of today, we are a couple,” he exclaimed happily.
I turned back to my friends looking for help to stop the madman, but he grabbed me from behind, pushing me towards his chest. He put his cell phone in front of his face and, before I could even breathe, I saw him take a picture of us.
"If you wanted a photo, all you had to do was ask," I chuckled in bewilderment.
“ This is just to proclaim our love on social networks. Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Tinder, Snapchat ... “
"Our love ?!" I repeated stunned.
"Of course."
"Now you use social media, not an invitation to dinner, a kiss, a date at the movies?" I made fun of him trying to make him feel embarrassed.
“ Number one: social networks are ok. Number two: you're a vegetarian and I'm not. I don't have dinner with anyone who eats differently than me. Number three: I read your favorite movies on Facebook. They're all nauseating,” he replied indifferently, without getting upset, while sharing the photo on a dozen social networks. “And as for kisses and sex, I'm not looking for you for that kind of thing, so forget it and avoid touching me. I don't like feeling the hands of others on me."
"You're crazy," I muttered, unable to realize what was going on.
“ Yes, crazy about you. Look, I also wrote it on Tinder," he said, showing me his cell phone. I didn't look because of the shock.
"How can you want to be my boyfriend if you don't even want to be with me?"
"We are doing well together on Snapchat right now."
“ Yes, but without touching. What's that? Are you germophobic? Sociophobic? "
"No, I only hate the changes in body temperature when two bodies come into contact," he replied in the annoyed tone of one who was saying something obvious.
Broken Rules (Love Storm series Book 2) Page 14