I hated to think it, but maybe Maria had done me a favor by pulling me practically out of his arms instead of letting me find out where all those kisses were going to lead. I'd feel so much worse if I'd given him my virginity and then he'd vanished on me like this.
Yuri calling me a teenage whore had felt so unjustified when Valentin was the only man I'd ever wanted to kiss. And now it seemed so desperately unfair that Valentin was avoiding me. Especially when I had no way of getting in touch with him again. What had I done wrong? Was it something I'd said, or didn't say?
I couldn't even enjoy the flowers, because I was too busy wishing they were from him and knowing that they couldn't have been. If they were from him, there would be a message too, I was sure of it. But there was absolutely nothing other than my name on the card every time.
The other dancers, who'd been pleased for me the first night, full of chatter about who my admirer could be, started to look irritated by the continued appearance of bouquets. It was like they thought I'd sent them myself, or that I was trying to say that I was better than them.
But it wasn't that at all. And I really wished I knew who was doing it.
After Sunday's show, Eva sat down on the dressing table in front of me while I took off my stage makeup and let my hair out of the tight bun. "I spoke to the ushers. You know who has come every night this week?"
"Who?"
"The theatre's biggest patron."
I frowned at her. "What? Don't be silly. Why would he notice me?"
It wasn't the job of a dancer like me to stand out, not unless I had a solo of my own. I was there precisely to blend in and create harmony with the other girls and the music, with all of our moves in time, our arms to the same height, our legs at the same angle.
Only a real expert would have been able to even tell me apart from any of the other girls dressed identically to me up on the stage.
"I don't know. Perhaps because you are American. Perhaps he wants you to feel welcome."
I pressed my lips together. "You think?"
She shrugged. "I think that he hasn't come to use the box that he pays for every night in nearly a year, and suddenly he is there, on his own, night after night."
I flushed, uncertain how to take the fact that I'd attracted the attention of someone who was clearly very well off.
"What's he like?"
Eva's coy smile told me all I needed to know even before she said a word. "I've never met him, but he's very influential. Rich, of course. Some people say that he is… more than just a businessman."
"More than just a businessman? What do you mean?"
She shrugged her slim shoulders. "In Russia there have always been men who… will get you what you want, or what you need, even if the government doesn't want you to have it."
"You mean he's involved in the underworld?"
She barked a laugh. "It is not so much of an underworld in Moscow. Everyone knows how these things work in Russia and it's not always the people who are officially in control who hold the puppet strings, you know? But, yes, I think that is what I mean."
I bit my lip, suddenly not at all sure about this wealthy, powerful guy who clearly thought he could buy whatever he wanted from me, in flowers or money or favors.
"What does he want with me?"
Eva shrugged. "He is one of these men who likes a pretty girl on his arm, so I hear. And you are a very pretty girl."
I flushed, realizing all of a sudden that there was no way he was just sending flowers if that was the case. "You think he wants to meet me?"
Eva's nose wrinkled and she nodded. "But you don't have to do anything that you don't want to. Paying money to the theater gives him no other rights than to his private box."
I swallowed, feeling the weight of what she wasn't quite telling me sink in. Suddenly the flowers made my skin itch. "He's outside? I think I'm going to go out the back…"
Eva smiled. "I think that is a very good idea. Yakov Timoshenko makes too many silly girls do things that they come to regret."
That didn't sound like the kind of man I wanted at all. The kind of man I wanted was the kind of man who showed up at five in the morning to carve out some headspace for himself before his day started. The kind of man who joked with me, and scared off drunks in alleyways, and kissed me like I was the only one in the world he wanted. I wanted the man who was probably, deep down, scarier then this businessman that Eva had described. Because at least I felt like I knew him and he'd never made me feel like he wanted to treat me like some kind of pretty doll, or toy.
I wanted Valentin. But I guess I was going to have to accept that he didn't want me.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Mia
When I walked through the door it was nearly midnight, and all I wanted to do was collapse into bed, and just like every other night this week, try not to think about what I possibly could have done to make Valentin decide that I wasn't worth his time after all.
But as soon as I stepped inside I could tell that that was not going to happen when a crescendo of raised voices practically hit me in the face. Eva caught my arm just a moment before I stepped towards the kitchen, pulling me back with a finger to her lips.
"Maria's ex boyfriend, Yuri. Don't go in there. He is drunk." She kept her voice low, and a second later, I understood exactly why.
"Ex boyfriend now? I thought they were-"
Another shout came from behind the closed door, and a barrage of Russian in both high and low pitch. Yuri and Maria, no doubt. Then there was an almighty crash that sounded like all of the plates being broken at once, and another tirade too fast and emotional for me to follow.
Eva shrugged. "I think he is an Ex now, yes."
I widened my eyes at her as another slew of broken crockery and screaming carried through to the hall. "Oh great. How long have they been at it?"
"I have no idea. She wasn't dancing tonight."
I groaned. "This is ridiculous. I want to go to bed! How long is this going on for?"
Eva shrugged. "She won't tell him to leave. He can get nasty."
"This is crazy, Eva. We've got to be at work again in eight hours and I haven't even eaten yet!" I shook my head, blowing out a breath and running my fingers through my hair. "You know what, never mind."
Weary enough, the last thing I wanted was to get into an argument with anybody, least of all Eva. After all, none of this was her fault.
"Where are you going?"
"To get something to eat where I can hear myself think."
I pushed the front door open again and headed out into the darkened hall, trudging downstairs, one slow step at a time. I could still hear them screaming, but the sound was getting softer the further down I went, which was something. I couldn't believe I'd been so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I hadn't noticed it on the way up.
I was down to the second floor, when I saw Valentin coming up the stairs from the ground floor and the urge to freeze took over. If I could have magicked myself anywhere else I would have, because the last thing I wanted was to look him in the eye and ask him why he'd been ignoring me.
Dressed in a suit, he looked far more suave than he did in the mornings dressed in gym gear and ready for a brawl, and despite myself I really liked that look on him. There was still that sense of ruggedness in the way his shirt collar was pulled open, like he'd lost patience with his tie over the course of the day, his hair was mussed up and he was a good few hours past needing a shave. There was no denying how handsome he was, but I did wish my body didn't respond quite so instantly.
He looked like he'd been working too hard. Like he had the weight of the whole world on his shoulders, and despite myself, I wanted to ease his burden.
I shouldn't have said anything; I should have turned around and jogged back up to the apartment before he even saw me, but I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of hiding from him. If I was nothing to him, then I could pretend that he was nothing to me. That the way we'd kissed in the elevator wasn't even w
orth mentioning.
"Hey. You're back late."
When he looked up, I wasn't sure he recognized me for a minute, and I remembered I still had my hair pulled back into a tortured bun from the performance. But then he looked me over, and his smile surfaced like I'd taken all the tensions of the day away from him.
"Mia. It's good to see you."
Despite everything I'd told myself, I felt my body tighten in response to his eyes roving over me and suddenly I was conscious that he might be able to smell how aroused I was by him through the thin layer of my dance tights. I hated that all it took was one look to make me want him.
"Is it?"
"Of course. I have missed you."
I frowned. He was talking like ignoring me the past few days hadn't even happened. "What, and you couldn't come to the studio in the morning, or come knock on my door?"
Valentin frowned sharply. "I have been in Siberia. I left you a note with my cell number."
My face slackened, confusion whirling in. "I never got a note." Did that mean Maria or Eva had kept it from me? I didn't like to think that they would. Probably there had just been a mix up. Some kind of mistake. "Siberia. Really?" It didn't sound like the kind of thing a guy would make up.
"Really. I suppose that explains why you did not get in touch. Did you like the flowers?"
"That was you?" I felt a sudden rush of relief. "Oh God, I hoped they were from you. But I thought you were ignoring me, and Eva said they were probably from some big shot patron of the theater."
Valentin's frown drew in again, but softer this time and I didn't step back when he stepped towards me. His thumb grazed over my cheek and I couldn't stop myself from looking up into his eyes. "What big shot? No. I am the only big shot sending you flowers. Guilty as charged."
The man was full of surprises, and as mad with him as I had been, now everything was back to what I'd hoped. There was more relief in that than there really should have been. My heart was beating far too fast in anticipation of tasting his lips again.
"Shouldn't you be in bed by now?"
I felt myself flush all over and I swallowed hard to stop myself from saying anything stupid or overly suggestive. I wasn't that suave or sophisticated and I'd only get in trouble pretending I was. Even though I'd gladly be sleeping in his bed, if Maria didn't get Yuri out.
I gnawed on my lower lip. "My roommate's having boyfriend trouble."
His brow shifted higher and like a switched flipped inside him, suddenly I was looking at the fierce man I'd come across in the studio, systematically taking out his aggression on the punching bag.
"What kind of trouble?"
"I don't know. It's Yuri. He's drunk apparently."
Valentin's eyes darkened. "Then he needs to leave. Come, I will sort it."
Before I could say another word, Valentin was taking the stairs two at a time, charging towards my apartment like a man possessed and all I could do was trail behind him.
"Valentin - wait!"
But he was already hammering on the door with one large fist and there wasn't anything I could do to stop him.
Eva looked a little stunned when she opened the door for him to barge past her, towards the shouting and I looked at her, open mouthed, without any explanation for what was going on at all.
There was some commotion in the kitchen, and Maria stopped shouting, then there was a sickening crunch and the door flew open.
Valentin had Yuri in a choke hold, just like the man who'd come after me a few days before, and his face was going through various shades of red on its way to purple as he spluttered and wiggled, trapped in Valentin's broad palm. But Valentin held him tight, his arm showing not so much as a tremble as he held him off the ground, like some kind of hero imbued with super strength.
With his other hand, he yanked open the apartment door, and both me and Eva shrank back against the wall as he tossed Yuri outside followed by a stream of Russian in his deep, dark voice that made me want to tremble all over and clench my legs together tightly. I shouldn't have cared about this kind of show of machismo, but deep down it did something to me that I couldn't explain.
Only a man like Valentin would toss Yuri out like the trash that he was. Only a man like Valentin wouldn't need any more excuse than to hear that he wasn't wanted for him to intervene.
Yuri made the mistake of shouting something back from the corridor and Valentin's expression darkened even more. He stepped out after him, into the hall, and I automatically covered my ears, unwilling to hear the sounds of anyone being beaten to a pulp. Again. And I had no doubt at all that was what was going to happen.
Next to me, Eva winced and then did the same.
Barely five minutes passed before Valentin appeared again with a smattering of blood on the collar of his shirt, highlighted all the more against his dark suit. His knuckles were grazed and swollen from the force he'd put into his punches, but I didn't have a single thought for what had become of Yuri. The only two times I'd met him, I hadn't liked him at all. The way he'd looked at me gave me the creeps and the way he treated Maria couldn't have been worth anything in the world.
Maria stepped out into the hall, looking faintly stunned and Eva drew her into a hug.
"I think that Yuri won't be coming back anymore."
Maria nodded and looked towards Valentin again. My heart swelled with an odd sort of pride alongside a surging arousal when I realized that the red patch on Maria's face wasn't from tears, but was blotching red in the shape of a hand print.
Never in my life had I thought a man would really hit a woman. Valentin could have done so much more to Yuri than he had done, now that I knew that. "Thank you," she said, but her voice was stiff and if anything she looked mad at him.
Valentin nodded shortly, but his eyes weren't on Maria, they were fixed to me. And my heart was beating fiercely in my chest.
"Now you can get some sleep."
He'd done this all for me? The thought was crazy, but with the way he couldn't take his eyes off me, it felt true. Suddenly I wished I didn't have any roommates at all, because all I wanted was to cross the space between us, and kiss him until he scooped me up in his muscled arms and took me up to his apartment and stripped me bare.
I felt my face flush hot, as though he could read my thoughts and for a long minute I was conscious that my breathing was matched entirely with the rise and fall of his chest. I could barely speak. All I wanted was him, but there was so much holding me back.
Eva nudged my arm, spurring me into motion and I realized I hadn't said a single word for all the staring I was doing.
"Uh - thanks. Thank you. Really."
"Well, it's late…" Eva put in, tangling her arm with mine as she pointedly held the front door open. "Good night."
I swear Valentin narrowed his eyes at her, but then the moment of tension passed, and he seemed to sink back into himself. He leveled a slow nod. "Good night. I will see you in the morning."
Eva closed the door firmly behind him and leaned back against it with a slow grin. Maria let out a sigh and bid us both goodnight with a wave over her shoulder, and then Eva turned to me with widened eyes.
"What was that about? What just happened?"
I shook my head, still just as stunned. "I bumped into him on his way home, and mentioned Yuri…"
"Uh-huh."
"What?"
"He didn't come here for Maria. He was shouting about hard working dancers needing their sleep. Everybody in this building knows Maria is a soloist and she only gets out of bed for her very particular shows. She thinks that she is on track to be a star without working for it; doesn't need the money like the rest of us do."
My eyes widened, and the world seemed to turn on its axis right under me. "What? You think he was talking about me?"
Valentin really had stormed in here to kick Yuri out entirely for me. The idea was totally crazy. Wasn't it?
Eva shrugged.
"How do you say? If the hat fits… After that, he was shouting ab
out hitting women, and making Yuri regret ever looking at a ballerina let alone touching one. And - well, you heard the rest. Perhaps I am wrong."
I nodded slowly, not entirely convinced by her back tracking. "Yeah, you probably are wrong."
Eva let out an impatient sigh and rolled her eyes at me. "No. I am not. Do you like him? He is very handsome. Everybody in the building wants to have him."
I felt my jaw hinge open and my cheeks flush with heat all over again. Deep down, I knew I wanted nothing more. Right after he'd kissed me, I'd fantasized about having his babies, and told my parents I was falling in love with him. But that was all crazy, wasn't it? "I- I don't even know him. And Maria said… He's Mr. Rozhkov, and Mr. Rozhkov's Bratva, isn't he?"
Eva shrugged. "Lots of people are lots of things, but I am telling you, he is a good man. Yuri is Bratva too, did she tell you that? He is a scumbag. Your Mr. Timoshenko from the theater who comes every night. He is Bratva. But Valentin, he is a good man as well."
I let out a heavy sigh, looking towards the door.
"I don't even know him," I repeated, even though I didn't even really think that was true. I knew him enough. I knew the way he made me feel and the way his tiredness seemed to fade when he looked at me and smiled, and I knew that I wanted to banish that greyed out look from his face forever.
"So you should get to know him." Eva shot me a grin that left me with the sudden feeling she had a plan. "We will have a party, yes? We will invite him."
"Oh, really? No. I mean - you don't have to do that." Suddenly everything was happening too fast. Could it be as simple as that? It really could have been if Maria hadn't pulled me out of the elevator, and then I wouldn't even be having this conversation because we'd already be together.
"You like him, yes?" Eva was looking at me like I'd grown a second head, and I flushed all the more deeply. I knew how silly I was being, but suddenly it felt like I had stage fright. It had felt so much safer when I could tell myself he was ignoring me, but now I knew that wasn't true, and there was nothing at all to get in the way.
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