by Dani René
But by the time I reach the garages, I do glance over my shoulder, expecting him to have gone. Instead, he is standing right where I left him, staring after me as if I just broke his heart.
10
Kayden
Fucking shit.
I fucked up. I should never have done that.
Picking up the beer, I think back to this afternoon and just how much I wanted to kiss her. She’s beautiful. Even though she doesn’t think so, I know so. But I can’t tell her that because the moment I do, she’s possibly going to knee me in the balls. One thing I’m learning about Haelee is that she doesn’t like to be told what to do or how to do it.
But I’m her racing coach, and I’ll make sure she gets better with every class. If I can keep my hands and lips off her. That’s going to be difficult because all I can think about is how her mouth felt against mine.
“Hey, man,” Curtis greets as he settles on the barstool beside me. I shouldn’t be out drinking, but I needed this to calm the fuck down.
“What’s up?”
“You and that new girl,” he tells me with a smirk I want to wipe off his face. He may not work for Colton, but being my best friend, he came to see me at work today, and he most probably saw the kiss. When I got back to the garage with the car, he didn’t say anything, but the grin on his face told me everything.
“Nothing is going on.” Even as I say it, I know it’s a lie because I can’t get her out of my head. “She’s headstrong, feisty, and she hates me.”
“You know, hate and love are the same emotion. They bring about the same endorphins. She’s probably just looking at it the wrong way.”
“She’s not. I can’t have her.” I don’t look at him. I down the last of my beer before signaling the bartender for another. Curtis orders his drink, and we sit in silence for a moment. “Mixing business with pleasure has always been against the rules for me.”
“I know. But there are times you can make an exception. Right now would be one of those times.” Our drinks arrive while I consider his words. Can I make an exception to have her in my life? “Look, I’m not saying this is marriage and all that rainbows and rings, but she’s hot, perhaps even good to have for the night, and when you fuck her out of your system, you’ll feel better.”
A group of girls walks into the bar, and the noise catches my attention. I glance over my shoulder, ignoring Curtis, who’s watching me intently, and find the girl in question who’s wearing a too-tight black dress. Even though it’s not overly short, it hugs her curves like a second skin. Her curls are bouncy, hanging to the middle of her back, which has my fingers tingling to tangle in those beautiful shiny ringlets and grip them in my fist. I had a feeling she’d be here since this is the closest bar to her house.
I did my own bit of snooping, and found out she doesn’t live too far away from where the track is. Just seeing her here has my blood boiling, not with anger, but jealousy. The emotion is new to me, and I’m at war with myself. I don’t know if I like it or not.
“Fuck,” Curtis remarks, his gaze following mine, and if I didn’t want to punch him earlier, now I really do. “Now, if you can look at that and tell me you’re not interested, then you’re fucking blind.”
He’s right. If I say I’m not into her, I’d be lying. She flings her hair over her shoulder when the barman walks up to them, and I watch her order a drink. The other three girls don’t look familiar at all, and I wonder who they are. When we first met, she came across as feisty yet shy, and I didn’t peg her for a party girl.
I can feel his enquiring eyes burning a hole through me. As much as I want to hide how I’m feeling about her, I can’t. He asks, “Are you going to talk to her?”
“No,” I bite out, watching her flutter her lashes at the bastard behind the bar. Protectiveness courses through my veins and I pick up my beer, swallowing down a mouthful before I do something stupid like walking up to her and laying a fucking claim on her.
“You’re so fucking gone for this chick, man,” Curtis says with a chuckle. I turn my attention to my friend, who I’ve known for a good twelve years now. I want to tell him to go fuck himself, but I can’t. I don’t. Because I know he’s telling the truth.
That kiss did shit to me.
The feel of her mouth on mine, how her tongue darted into my mouth, the way her body feels when she’s surrendering to the emotions that spark between us, all of it races through my mind, reminding me that I’m human. I’m aching for this girl, and I care for her more than I care to admit.
The music changes as the lights are dimmed, and the dance floor opens to anyone interested. “Shape of You” by Ed Sheeran starts playing on the stereo system, coming through the speakers, and the girls race for the dancefloor positioned in the center of the room.
Haelee shocks me when she starts moving. Her body—with curves so sinful I’m tempted to taste every inch of her—sways as she dances with her friends. She’s not focused on anyone else in this room. The happiness that shines on her face is evident. There are no qualms about who’s watching her or who can judge her because she’s female. I mentally kick myself for what I did.
As the music pumps through the speakers, vibrating through my chest, and I’m sure through every inch of her luscious body, the more my mind takes a turn to the left and veers off protectiveness and toward possessiveness. Every man’s gaze lands on the girls. Their watchful, lust-filled eyes are on the woman I want.
The thought hits me right in the chest. I’ve not had such a strong reaction to a woman before. She’s exquisite. Her tanned skin, along with those full, pouty lips, lures me in as she twists and twirls. I can’t drag my gaze away from her when she sings along to the song. But then she turns my way, and her eyes widen when she realizes I’m watching her.
The corner of my mouth tilts upward, offering her a smirk of knowing as her mouth opens and closes. Shock is clear in her expression. She probably wasn’t expecting me to be here. I didn’t think I’d be out drinking today, but after our interaction, I needed to let off steam.
As the song comes to an end, I’m on my feet, moving toward her before I have time to rethink it. I can feel Curtis’s eyes on me. There’s no doubt he’s enjoying watching me.
“What the hell are you doing?” I ask as the next song starts, and the deep bass vibrates through me. I recognize the lyrics of “My Angel” by Prince Royce. Immediately, I pull her into my arms and move along with her.
“What the hell are you doing?” she mimics my question with a sly grin curling her perfect lips.
“I’m dancing with you,” I tell her nonchalantly, but I’m far from calm. My body is raging with need and fury at this beauty who’s drawn me into her orbit.
“I don’t … I can’t do this,” she tells me, but moves anyway. I twirl her around, our bodies colliding when she spins back toward me, and I’m engulfed by her perfume, which reminds me of the hot cinnamon coffee my mother used to make when I was younger.
“Why?” I hold onto her. I don’t want to let her go, but even though I know this is a bad idea, I can’t stop myself from wanting her.
“Because this isn’t how it’s supposed to go.” Her admission has me stilling all movement. Dropping my hands, I reach one out, grabbing her wrist just like I did earlier today, and pulling her toward the exit. She’s so tiny, her body moves with mine out into the balmy night with the music disappearing behind us.
We stop along the outside of the bar, and I spin on my heel to finally face her. “How is it supposed to go?” My question is laced with frustration. It feels like every time I’m around her, that emotion is prevalent in my thoughts.
“I’m not the type of girl you should be with or even consider,” she tells me after a long moment. The sadness that inflects her voice makes my body shudder with anger. What the fuck is she talking about?
“I don’t understand what you mean. How can you say that?”
“I’m not … I’m not perfect. Or beautiful like the groupies who follow rac
ers around,” she tells me earnestly. There’s so much agony in her tone I want to wrap her in my arms and never let her go. She’s probably only about five two with curves for miles, which only makes me want her more.
But it’s not only her looks that have me caught. It’s her personality. “Tell me about you,” I request. “I want to know who you are. The girl under the cold façade. Because I have a feeling that this wall you’ve put up is nothing more than a shield.”
“I can’t do this, Kayden,” she admits. “I’m … My focus is on my career. Racing is my life, and I need to make my father proud.” Her words slice me right through my chest. I’ve spent my life trying to make my father proud. When he told me he wanted me to take over the company, I refused. I had to choose, but racing was always going to be my love, my passion. And he knew it.
“I know how that feels,” I admit, lifting my hand to cup her face. The smooth skin under my fingertips tingle from the contact, and I slowly swipe my thumb over the apple of her cheek.
Haelee tips her head to the side, her eyes holding questions I don’t want to answer, but the one she does throw out there is, “How?”
“I’m not just some playboy racer,” I inform her, offering a small smile to lighten the heat between us. “I’ve … I’ve been hurt and broken before. I’ve also made sure the focus of my life has been my racing. My father …” I allow my words to taper off. This isn’t the place for a conversation like this. “Come with me,” I say instead, hoping she doesn’t refuse me.
“Where are we going?”
“Somewhere special,” I answer before lacing my fingers through hers and pulling her back into the bar so we can grab her purse, and I can say goodbye to Curtis. I’ll see the fucker tomorrow.
At the counter, he turns and arches a dark brow at me. “I was right. Wasn’t I?” The satisfied grin on his face causes me to chuckle.
“You’re an asshole.”
“You’re a whipped man,” he teases, tipping his drink toward me before taking a long swallow. I pull out my wallet, throwing a twenty on the bar.
“Here, get another drink and chat up those three. I’m sure they’d be up for a fun night with you,” I tell him in a hushed whisper before slapping him on the shoulder. “See you tomorrow.” By the time I reach the door, Haelee is waiting for me with a small, shy smile on her face.
11
Haelee
The car is silent for a long while, as Kayden drives. His hand moves across the gear stick while his eyes are focused on the road. I don’t know what to say to him because I feel like he has to be the one to break the ice.
The tension in the small space is stifling, causing me to shift in the seat. The lights of California stretch out in front of us as we weave along the coastline. I’ve lived here most of my life and visited the beach almost every day. My folks would bring me to the ocean as a young child, showing me the waves as we built sandcastles.
The memories of my dad hit me hard as we make our way toward whatever destination Kayden has in mind. The sound of the waves hitting the rocks below echoes through the open window, and I close my eyes for a moment, wishing the tears away. Whenever I think of Dad, I feel this agonizing pain. All I want is to make him proud. To show him I’m not going to be one of those women who loses her career over a man. He always used to tell me I had a good head on my shoulders, and even if he’s gone, I want to prove him right.
“I didn’t think this would happen,” Kayden finally speaks. Catching my attention, he causes me to open my eyes. He’s looking at the road, but from the expression on his face, he seems worried, concerned.
“What?”
“When we first met,” he says. “I didn’t think I would look at you the way I do now.” His admission sends heat to my cheeks.
“And how do you look at me now?” I ask, but I have a feeling, I know. After the kiss, it’s clear Kayden wants me, but what I don’t know is how. I’m most definitely not a one-night stand. I don’t allow myself to get into those situations. And even though I’m still a virgin, I have a feeling that even if Kayden and I did have sex, he would break my heart. Because a man like him is most certainly a heartbreaker.
“I don’t know how to explain it,” he confesses, casting a quick glance over at me before turning his attention back on the road. “You’ve captured my attention, and I don’t know what to do with that. Women were never a constant in my life, besides my mother, of course. But relationships and I don’t go hand-in-hand.”
“Then, this can’t be one. We work together, and I can’t go through drama when I’m new to the scene and want to build a rep in the racing industry.” I need to remind myself when those teal eyes lock on mine, even for a second, that he’s bad news and I should run. I should run so far, but being stuck with him daily is going to make that difficult. “My life has been one of hard work and perseverance. I’m not going to end up a notch on anyone’s belt,” I tell him.
Kayden chuckles, his smile lighting up his face, and I can’t deny the man is attractive. “I don’t do notches, and I’m not asking you to be a one-night thing,” he states. “You’re different.”
“I’ve been different all my life.”
“That’s a good thing,” he counters firmly as if he’s frustrated at what I’ve just said. “Perhaps that’s why I feel this way. You’re not like any other girl I’ve come across. The racing world is filled with beautiful women, but none of them have ever bantered with me like you do.” His admission makes me smile. I’ve always been more comfortable around guys. I guess it comes from growing up around race car drivers and garages where I would learn about engines and car parts that most girls have no idea about.
“Sometimes being different doesn’t feel like a good thing,” I finally admit as Kayden pulls into a parking spot near the pier. When the engine dies, silence fills the emptiness between us, but within that empty space, there’s also sparks, the electricity that runs through my veins at Kayden’s touch.
“I think it’s what makes you more alluring.” This time, he shifts in his seat to face me. I would move, but my dress is short, the hemline already rode up to the middle of my thighs. Teal eyes scan me, taking me in from my head to my toes. But they snap back to my face, lingering on my mouth for a long moment before he smiles. “You can’t deny that kiss was out of this fucking world.”
His words make me laugh out loud. “You seem sure of yourself,” I bite out with a grin. “I mean, it was a solid five and a half.” I shrug, and as Kayden lunges for me to tickle me, I shove the door open, escaping his fingers digging into my sides, making me giggle. It’s been a long time since I felt at ease, since I felt the weight of trying to prove myself lift. And even if it’s only in this moment, I’ll take it and run with it.
Kayden follows, and we’re soon out on the sand. He doesn’t touch me again, but I realize I want him to. I love his touch on my skin. The gentle, yet firm grasp he had on my body earlier still makes me burn.
“So, tell me about your childhood,” I request as we reach the shore. The waves crashing over the sand. We stop, settling on the ground side by side. The moon hangs above the horizon, full and looming, while stars blink in the darkness.
“I was lucky. I had both Mom and Dad, who were always there. My father wanted me to take over his company practically all my life, but it was never my passion. It was his.”
“Was he disappointed?” I ask, wondering if that’s what he meant earlier.
Kayden leans back on his hands, his gaze on the ocean instead of me. “He was, for a long time, because racing was the only thing I wanted to do.” His voice seems far away, his focus on the past rather than the present, and I allow him to think back and tell me about his story. “And then when I told him I wanted to race, even though I knew he’d be disappointed, he smiled and said okay. He supported me, and he never griped about me not wanting to take over the company. But now that he’s gone—”
“You want to make him proud?” This has me snapping my gaze to his fac
e. All I see is the profile, but the pain is evident in his expression.
“Yeah,” he finally croaks. “It’s been a while, but … You know that pain never goes away. It might ease up, and it might take a backseat at certain times, but it’s always there, niggling away at you until you remember.”
“I know that feeling,” I admit freely. “My dad was always there for me. He would take me to races. He’d even allow me to drive his car in empty parking lots. I fell in love with the speed, the adrenalin, and I even fell in love with fixing up cars. We have an oldie sitting in our garage, one that Dad and I were meant to fix up, but …”
Kayden turns his attention on me, his eyes taking me in, seeing my pain because he looks right into me with those depths of teal emotion. This time, he does reach for me, cupping my face in his hand, and he pulls me in.
His mouth inches from mine, I can’t help but lean into him, wanting the kiss, needing the connection. When our lips touch, heat sizzles through me, and I’m once more lost in the flavor of him. It’s all man. The bitterness of the beer he had still on his tongue as I tangle mine with his. Slowly, ever so gently, he turns all the way over until he’s hovering over me, and I’m lying back on the cool sand. But nothing can quell the ache swirling in my belly.
“I want to do this,” he tells me earnestly with affection swimming in his gaze. The harsh crash of waves on the shore, along with the magical starry night, makes this seem like a fairytale, and it would be so easy to get lost in the fantasy, but I know it’s dangerous.
“You enjoy living life in the fast lane,” I whisper as he presses his lips tentatively to the corners of my mouth. “I’m used to a slower speed.”
“Then we’ll take it as slow as you’d like,” Kayden promises before kissing me hard. His mouth molds to mine, his tongue owning mine, and his body cocooning me, causing warmth to travel from my head right down to my toes. The heaviness of him keeping me pinned down to the ground. I tangle my arms around his neck, holding on for dear life because this roller coaster is going to throw me off course.