by Lexi Wilson
My friend had always been honest and straightforward to a fault, and now it had helped him achieve his goal of settling down and finding a woman to share his wife with. I, on the other hand, kept holding everything in, and all it was doing was making things more difficult.
No. I needed to change if I wanted to keep ahold on the happiness I’d found. I vowed to talk to Morgan soon, but first, we had lunch with the happy couple to get through.
When we rolled into my garage, Morgan was even quieter than she’d been at the lunch and the wedding. It was obvious something was wrong.
We all got out of the car. I waited for Morgan to pull the sleeping Sasha and her infant seat from the base in the back seat, but she never did.
“I’m not feeling well,” she said and headed inside without even waiting for me to say anything.
Assuming she was going to lie down, I moved to the back of the car to grab the seat myself. I hefted it out of the car and headed into the living room. I placed my sleeping niece in her seat next to the couch. She was comfortable enough and safe, so there was no reason to move her.
After that, I sat on the couch and pulled out my phone. If Morgan was taking a nap, there was no reason to bother her. I started checking emails.
About fifteen minutes later, I heard Morgan coming down the stairs.
“Feeling better?” I said, still looking at my phone.
“No,” she said, walking past me.
I looked up, and my stomach churned. Morgan was heading toward the door, suitcase in hand.
Chapter 36
Morgan
“I need a break,” I declared, doing my best not to start crying. My heart ached enough already; if I broke down even more, the whole experience might make me collapse.
“A break?” Daniel said, pain and confusion on his face. “From what? From me? From Sasha? From living here?”
I understood how this all must have looked to him, but I couldn’t explain what was going on, not yet. Not when I still wasn’t able to process it all myself. Even worse, I feared he wouldn’t understand.
I’d gotten pregnant despite being on birth control. Even though I’d done everything I could, he might not believe me. He might even think I’d been trying to trick him and lied about birth control. One didn’t have to be all that paranoid to be suspicious of a woman accidentally getting knocked up by a billionaire.
If I told Daniel and he accused me of lying, it would completely destroy me.
“I’m going back to my apartment,” I said. “I just—like I said, I need a break. Time to think some things over.”
“I thought you’d already worked through all of this.” Daniel sucked in a long breath and slowly exhaled. I could tell he was doing everything he could not to get mad. “You just got here. Why do you need a break?”
I shrugged. “I have my reasons, and I don’t want to go into them right now, okay?”
Daniel’s face twitched. “You don’t want to go into them right now? Don’t you think I deserve an answer? After everything we’ve been through?”
A long sigh from me followed. “Yes. Of course you deserve an answer, but the problem is I can’t give you one right now. Now until I’ve answered some things for myself. So I have to go, and if I go now, it’ll be less painful for all of us.” I turned back toward the door.
“So what does this mean? Is it really a break, or are we done? I think I deserve to know that at least.”
My eyes closed, and I wiped away some tears. “I’d tell you if I knew Daniel, but I don’t.”
“Just talk to me, Morgan.”
“No. I have to go now.”
“Don’t go,” Daniel said. “Please. I love you, and we can work this out. All you have to do is talk to me, and I’m sure we can fix whatever problem it is that you’re seeing. Don’t convince yourself there’s no way out. I’m willing to fight for us, but you have to be willing to fight for us as well.”
I hesitated, not saying anything for a long, quiet moment. I opened my mouth, almost ready to explain everything, but I shut it and shook my head.
I love you. My heart threatened to melt at the words, but my head wouldn’t be swayed. I couldn’t figure out how I really felt while I was surrounded by Daniel and Sasha. I needed to go, no matter how much it hurt. Otherwise, I’d end up in a lot more pain in the future.
“I love you, too,” I said quietly. “But I still have to go.”
“Sasha needs you, too,” Daniel said. “You know she loves you.”
“I know.” I threw open the door and stepped out, tears streaming down my cheeks. “And I’m sorry to you both.”
Back in my apartment, I sat on my couch wrapped up in a blanket, my eyes puffy and my cheeks red from my tears. I kept thinking back to when I’d first gotten pregnant. Blaine and I had been trying for months, even worrying about having to get fertility treatments.
We had both wanted a child so badly. We’d talked about it a lot before we’d gotten married, as neither of us wanted to marry someone who wasn’t interested in raising kids.
Once the trouble getting pregnant had begun, we’d even discussed the possibility of adopting if I couldn’t get pregnant. I was less concerned with the idea of raising my own child, as opposed to no child at all.
Blaine disagreed and made it clear in no uncertain terms that he didn’t want to adopt. He was obsessed with the idea of not just raising a child but having a child that was part him. That was one of the reasons he was so crushed when the baby had died. At least, that’s what I’d always believed.
I sighed and lay down on my couch, pulling the blanket over my head.
Yes, Blaine had felt pain, but he also hadn’t carried the baby inside him for nine months. He hadn’t felt all the movement inside him. No matter how good a father he might have thought he wanted to be, he didn’t have the connection to our baby that I did, and there was no way he could have felt the same pain that I had.
When our baby died, everything changed so quickly. It was like the world had collapsed around me, and when I’d needed Blaine the most, he all but turned his back on me. It seemed as if he was coming just short of blaming for what happened, with contempt in his words, his face, his touch.
“Why couldn’t you be the husband I needed?” I whispered under the blanket.
His new marriage and child were all the proof I needed about what he really thought of our marriage and our child.
I’d tried to console myself by thinking Blaine had been just as crushed by losing our child as I had been, but he’d moved on seemingly without effort, even to the point of getting another woman pregnant, despite his repeated insistence that he’d never try and father a child again. His actions also made it clear just who he blamed for the death of our baby boy.
Bile rose in my throat at the thought. It almost would have been easier if he’d been more honest about how he felt. We still would have separated, but at least then I wouldn’t have carried around all this pain for years.
I sat up, pulling the blanket down to my chest. I’d thought I’d freed myself of the pain, but now it threatened to swallow me again and destroy my budding relationship, assuming it hadn’t already.
I couldn’t blame Daniel if he never wanted to see me again. He’d been trying hard with me, but I kept losing it and running out on him. He was an attractive and rich man. It wasn’t like he couldn’t get another woman.
But he loved me. That’s what he said, and I loved him. I pulled my knees against my chest. But was love enough to fight against pain so deep? My heart had been scarred years ago, and maybe there was no way it could heal.
Tears continued to stream down my face. A baby died, then a marriage followed. The weight of those losses now seemed impossible to get rid of.
Was two years long enough to mourn for a lost child? Was it long enough to be allowed to move on and find love again?
I didn’t know. The only thing I did know was that my heart ached and leaving Daniel after what he’d said to me had been one
of the hardest things I’d ever done.
I glanced over at my phone. Daniel hadn’t called. I didn’t know what that might mean.
He might be done with me and didn’t want to waste his time, or he might be trying to give me the space I’d asked for when I’d walked out on him.
A harsh laughed escaped my lips. I’d found the perfect man—understanding, wealthy, intelligent, and caring. Now I’d walked out him, not once, but twice. It would be totally understandable if he hated me now.
I’d spent so many years thinking about how self-centered Blaine was, but apparently, he wasn’t the only self-centered person in our marriage. Daniel had feelings, too, and, he was still dealing with his own tragedy.
I groaned. “I don’t deserve a man like him,” I muttered to myself. “I’m sorry, Daniel. I’m so sorry.”
But I kept circling back to the chance that the problem with the baby really was me. I didn’t know if I could go through another pregnancy only to lose my child.
I groaned. Now I couldn’t even risk getting drunk to wash my troubles away. All I could do was sob and try to figure out what to do next.
Chapter 37
Daniel
I paced in my living room, checking on Sasha every now and again, but she slept peacefully, not a care in her little baby world.
I was surprised, honestly. I’d gotten lucky the night before. Even though Morgan had left, Sasha didn’t stay up all night screaming or crying. The next night probably wouldn’t be so easy. By then, she’d realize that Morgan wasn’t coming back.
She wanted space, so I was giving her space, even though I loved her, and Sasha needed her.
No, I didn’t just love her. I needed her too, maybe even more than Sasha did. The idea of going on without her terrified me.
My hands curled into fists. I wanted to throw a lamp or something, but I wasn’t going to risk scaring or waking the baby.
For a few seconds, I honestly considered going into the garage and throwing some things around. Sasha probably wouldn’t be able to hear much from that far away.
I wasn’t mad at the baby, or Morgan, for that matter. No, there was one man who was the target of all my ire.
Fucking Blaine. It was all his fault. Everything was going well, perfect really, and that ass had shown up and thrown a wrench into everything. Whatever was going on with Morgan was probably related to him somehow. That was the only explanation that made sense.
I wished she could have confided in me so I could better understand and help her. For both our sake’s.
Now, I was cold and alone.
My loneliness couldn’t smother me and sap at the anger coursing through my veins. That anger burned the sadness and loneliness away, revealing an important truth.
I’d found the woman I wanted. Not just any woman, but a woman I loved. The woman I wanted to marry.
And she’d walked on me without an explanation.
I stopped pacing beside Sasha’s playpen. I stared down at my niece, the little girl I didn’t even like at first, but now had grown to love.
She deserved a mother, and I knew Morgan could fill the role perfectly. Just as I could become her father instead of her uncle.
The truth was Sasha had already become ours, and I’d already planned a future together. A future built around the three of us.
My plans were worthless now, meaningless smoke without Morgan. She’d taken them with her when she walked out of my house, wounding my heart.
I snorted. What was I doing? Moping around the house and hoping Morgan would come back?
Men and women were different, and I was a man. I needed to start acting like a man. If my woman was having problems, then I needed to go to her and help her get through them, not let her suffer at home by herself.
“I need to stop being such a little whiner, worrying myself sick at home,” I said, shaking my head.
Morgan had her problems, and I knew that. Actions spoke louder than words. Telling her I loved her was one thing, but if I’d showed her how much I loved her, she’d get over whatever funk had dragged her away and come back to us.
At a minimum, I needed to let her know that she wasn’t alone and that I’d do whatever it took to make her happy.
“Time for a little trip, Sasha,” I said.
Thirty minutes later, I was knocking on Morgan’s door, holding Sasha’s infant seat with my other hand. My heart pounded, and I prayed she’d open the door and not just tell me to take a hike.
Even if she did, I wouldn’t go, but sitting in a hallway for hours on end didn’t sound like fun, and it’s not like I had a playpen there to set up for the baby.
I waited, holding my breath until finally, I heard the lock click, and the door opened.
Morgan stood there, her hair ragged and dark bags under her eyes. Her cheeks were red and puffy; her eyes were also red. She looked awful.
My heart ached at the sight. She might have walked out on me, but she’d obviously been suffering, and I couldn’t help but think I never should have let her leave to begin with.
Giving her space? Bullshit. That was just an excuse to not do what I needed to do. Now, though, I could make up for that mistake.
“Daniel?” she said, her voice weary. “What are you doing here?” Her gaze dipped to Sasha, and she smiled.
I took a deep breath. “I know you said you needed time, but I also know that I’m not prepared to let this end without fighting for it. I shouldn’t have let you leave before. I’m sorry.”
Morgan shook her head. “You don’t understand, Daniel. It’s not so simple.”
“Yes, it is.” I held up a hand. “Look, I get it. Words are just that, words. I don’t know if this has to do with Blaine or something else entirely, but I can’t just sit by anymore and not try to fight for you.”
“There’s nothing you can say to help,” Morgan said. “It’s just something I have to work through myself.”
“You’re right. I’m through talking.” I grabbed her with my free hand. “I don’t want to say anything. I just want to show you something.”
Morgan didn’t resist as I tugged her along to the elevator. I took that as a small victory. I thought about taking the stairs, but there was no way I could haul the baby and lead Morgan down a bunch of flights of stairs.
We didn’t speak as the elevator made its way down. I didn’t see the point. Words had failed me before, so adding more words wasn’t going to help. She needed to see what I had to show her, and then she would finally understand. Only then would she understand how different I was from Blaine.
Morgan sighed as she followed me to my car. “Where are we going? I can’t go back to your house, not yet.”
I shook my head. “Not my house. Something else. I think you’ll understand once we get there.”
She looked back at her apartment building, then at me, before climbing into the passenger’s seat.
I slipped Sasha’s seat back into its base and headed to driver’s seat.
“It’s actually close to here, only about fifteen minutes away,” I said. “Then I think you’ll get why I had to come.”
Morgan nodded but didn’t say anything. Again, I took it as a small victory. It’s not like she couldn’t have marched back to her apartment and locked the door.
I started the car and pulled into the street, my heart pounding the entire time. I hoped she’d understand what I was about to show her. This would be the final test to see if we had any sort of future together. It would prove that I listened and cared about what she wanted.
The silence of the drive was only broken by the occasional gurgle or noise from Sasha. We hit a hill, and I followed the private road to a dirt road that led to a fenced-off plot of land.
“We’re here,” I said, shifting the car into park.
Morgan’s eyes narrowed. “Some random hill?”
I opened my door. “You’ll see. Just a little patience, please.” I moved to the other side to collect Sasha. Instead of pulling the entire infant
seat out, I just grabbed the baby. We weren’t going to be hanging out here for all that long, so it’d just be easier to carry her without the bulky seat. Besides, it was good to get in more time touching the baby directly.
I started walking, assuming that Morgan would follow. Or hoping at least.
Fortunately, she did, and then we arrived at a locked gate.
I frowned, “I’ll have to replace all of this.” I fished a key out of my pocket to unlock the pathetic padlock that was sealing the fence gate. I passed through, Sasha still in my arms.
A few minutes of walking brought us to a nice and even slice of land atop a bluff. There was a clear view of the ocean from several angles. Sea birds flapped their wings in the distance.
I inhaled deeply, enjoying the salty smell in the air.
“It’s beautiful,” Morgan said quietly after a moment. “But why did you bring me here? It’s just some land you bought, right? I don’t see what it has to do with me.”
I smiled. “I asked you once if you could live anywhere, where would you live, and you told me that you liked an ocean view.”
Morgan’s eyes widened as understanding dawned in them.
“Yes, it’s just some land I bought. Land that I bought for you. For us.” I motioned around, “Obviously, it needs a little clean-up, better fencing, and an actual house, but I figured I’d start with finding land you like and move from there.” I grinned, “I don’t like to blow money, but I’m also not the guy who needs to wait until the absolute cheapest point to buy something, either. I’ve been working on this for a while and wanted to surprise you later, but then—well, you know what happened.”
Morgan stared at me, disbelief in her eyes. Our future together hung on her response.
Chapter 38