by Lexi Wilson
We walked into his apartment, and he paused. “Okay, I need to be completely honest with you. Kellie knows she spends most weekends with her mother. I know she forgets sometimes, but I don’t know if she did this on purpose. She’s been trying to find a way to get me to date for a while now, but I don’t ever pursue it.”
I looked at him with wide eyes, wondering what he was trying to get at. He took a deep breath before continuing. “She might have been trying to play matchmaker here.”
“Matchmaker?” I asked. I couldn’t believe it. I knew she was a smart girl, especially for her age, but to orchestrate something so perfectly seemed like it was too good to be true. I couldn’t imagine that I would fall for something like that, but it appeared I had.
“Well, I guess I’m flattered that she chose me; but if she’s been trying to get you to date just anyone, I guess I shouldn’t take it too personally,” I said with a laugh. I wasn’t sure how to respond to the situation and decided joking about it would be the best. But I couldn’t help but be a little hurt. I didn’t want to admit the attraction I had for this man, not even to myself.
But, knowing Kellie was trying to find someone for him to date made me feel less like she chose me and more like I was just someone she thought could fit the bill.
“Oh no, it’s nothing like that. Don’t misunderstand. She’s been talking about you since the two of you went out for ice cream. I really do appreciate that you did that, by the way.” I returned the smile he sent me, though I was still feeling very embarrassed. I couldn’t believe I had gotten myself in this situation, and I was growing all the more desperate to get out of it.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about what he was saying, and I wanted the chance to think about my feelings. I had to forget about all this. It had nothing to do with me, and I was imposing. I was getting involved in a situation that had nothing to do with me, and I knew if I didn’t pull back, I was going to get sucked in over my head.
“Well, I’m glad that we got this sorted out. I’m sorry I barged in on you like that, I really should have said something before,” I said as I started for the door.
“Wait, you don’t have to go. I haven’t eaten anything yet — we could go downtown and grab something. I would hate to think that you came all this way only to have to leave empty-handed.” He stopped me with a smile, and I hesitated. There was a part of me that wanted to accept, but there was another voice inside that told me not to.
I had to keep the lines of professionality intact, and I couldn’t if I was going to start doing things like this. At the same time, I couldn’t just show up and then leave. That was almost ruder than just not coming in the first place.
Which now, I wished I hadn’t.
“Let me have a minute to change my clothes, and I’ll be right back,” he said. I nodded.
“Alright, if you don’t think this is too embarrassing,” I said with a laugh. “I really should have said something before just showing up.”
“Not at all,” he said over his shoulder. He disappeared into his bedroom, and I could hear the dresser drawers open and close. Within moments he reappeared, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. I could still see the bottom of the tattoo appearing and disappearing under the sleeve of the shirt as he moved, but I made up my mind I wasn’t going to ask about it.
Not yet, anyway.
“Ready?” he asked with a smile, and I nodded, forcing a confident smile on my end.
“Alright then,” he continued. “Let’s go.”
He held the door open for me, and we started for the elevator. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but I didn’t know what to do with my hands. For some reason, I almost had the impulse to wrap them around his arm, holding onto him as we made our way down to the main floor.
I reminded myself that this wasn’t a date, though when he started talking about Kellie once more as we walked, I began to feel even more as though it were.
“How did you like the first week at the company?” he asked, changing the subject as we got settled into our booth. The waitress brought our drinks, and I smiled.
“I like it a lot. I can see myself being there for quite some time, I’d say,” I said as I glanced over the menu. There were all kinds of pizzas listed, and I found myself a little surprised he was the kind of guy to like pizza. I looked up and was surprised to see him watching me.
He quickly looked down at the menu in front of him when our eyes met; then he cleared his throat. “I’m glad to hear that. I’ve been here a lot, so I’m not really picky about what we get — do you have any sort of preference?” he asked. I shook my head.
“Pizza is pizza,” I said with a grin. He laughed, and I was taken aback by the sound of it. He had done scarcely more than chuckle since I had met him, I hadn’t even considered that he might know how to laugh. But, he did.
“Indeed it is,” he said. “Indeed it is.”
Chapter 9
I mass deleted the emails that had accumulated since Saturday, but my mind wasn’t on my work. I was too busy thinking about Stella and our pseudo-date the day before. It wasn’t that it was a date, or even that we meant for it to be one. I had been surprised when she showed up at my door like she had, and it would have been rude just to send her away.
It didn’t surprise me Kellie had brought up the fact she wanted me to find someone to Stella. I could see in her face from the moment she met the woman that she was taken with her. But, I was surprised she had gone so far as to invite Stella to dinner without telling me.
Whether she was trying to play matchmaker or not, I felt she should have at least let me know she was planning on inviting someone over to my place. I might not have been there. Or I might have had another date over…that would have caused more drama. Sure, I wasn’t seeing anyone at the moment, and as far as I knew, my daughter was aware of that.
But at the same time, I didn’t always tell her what I was doing. She wouldn’t be aware if I was having someone over when she was at her mother’s house.
At the back of my mind, I hoped things weren’t going to be awkward between me and Stella now. After our discussion on Saturday, combined with our not-date on Sunday, I knew things had the potential to be awkward, and I didn’t want them to be. My fears were soon laid to rest, however, when she walked in wearing the bubblegum suit she had worn for her interview.
“Good morning, Mr. Miller. I hope you had a nice weekend,” she said with a smile.
“It was a weekend, though not all bad this time,” I replied. I smiled at her and she returned the look, though I could see she wasn’t going to go anywhere near flirting.
“I put together a list of nannies for you to look over. There are a few to choose from, but the two at the top were my personal favorites,” she said. I looked at the list then set it down on the desk.
“Thank you.”
“Also, the editors are going to be ordering out for lunch. They told me they wanted to let you know in advance this time.” She smiled as I chuckled. The last time they had done that I had been in a really bad mood, and I had let the entire office know about it. It had been a long time since they had decided to order again, but they had promised they would be sure to let me know when they did so I didn’t miss out on lunch.
“Tell them thank you, but my daughter is going to be in for lunch today. Oh, and Stella, you are more than welcome to join us,” I said with a smile. I thought she would be excited at the idea, but she shook her head.
“I brought lunch, but thank you,” she said. She gathered up her things and walked out the door, leaving me feeling confused. And a little hurt.
Why would she suddenly decline? I thought we had had a good time at lunch the previous day. It really didn’t make any sense. But then, I had to remind myself of the suit incident. There were certainly things about this woman that were confusing, though I had to admit they didn’t make me like her any less.
I paused. Did I really admit to myself that I liked her? It was a strange feeling. Of course, I lik
ed her, but what was I thinking? What did I mean by that? How did I feel? There were so many things running through my mind, I didn’t want to think about any of them. I shook my head, forcing myself to turn my attention back to work.
She didn’t have to join us for lunch, but in my opinion, that was her loss. I thought she enjoyed spending time with me the day before, and she had assured me more than once she loved spending time with my daughter. I wasn’t going to overanalyze why she declined now, and I didn’t have the time to think about it.
The morning flew by. I was answering emails and setting up conferences, hoping to get as much done as possible before Kellie arrived. I didn’t want to rush through lunch with her, so the more I got done that morning, the more time I would be able to spend with her without having to worry about it. I was nearly done with the biggest project of my day when the door suddenly flew open, and Kellie walked in with a large picnic basket under her arm.
What surprised, me, however, was that she had Stella in tow. I rose from my chair, my eyebrows raised. Stella didn’t look to be angry, but she certainly looked uncomfortable with the situation.
“Kellie, Stella said she had some work she had to be doing. Did you ask her if she wanted to come to lunch, or did you just tell her that she had to?” I asked, turning to address my daughter. Of course, she just gave me a look as though I were the one who was being unreasonable.
“Daddy, you have all afternoon to work, and so does Stella. Everyone has to take a break sometime.” She beamed as she looked over her shoulder, and I was impressed by how quickly Stella could go from annoyed to perfectly happy and content to be with the child. It was evident to me that though she wasn’t too happy about being in the office for lunch, she was going to go through with it for the sake of making my daughter happy.
She might be confusing, and I might feel annoyed with her from time to time because of it, but I couldn’t be angry with her for that. In fact, I was grateful. The more people my daughter had in her life who loved and supported her, the more reason she had to fight the disease that always threatened to steal her from me.
“I’m sorry, Stella. If you need to put off some things to get them done tomorrow, don’t worry about it. I know Kellie can be a bit headstrong at times, and I don’t want you to have to stress to keep up with things.” I smiled, and she shrugged. I could see there was something clearly different about her, but I didn’t know what it was, and I wasn’t going to address it. The last thing I wanted was to bring more drama into my life.
If there was something she wanted to say, she was more than welcome to say it. I wasn’t going to drag it out of her or pressure her.
“Alright, let’s eat!” Kellie threw down her blanket with a smile as she set the basket on top. I was surprised she was able to get the blanket in the basket, and I decided to put all my focus on her. Regardless of how Stella felt about the situation, if she wanted to be here or not, I was going to make sure my daughter had a good time.
“This is for you, and this is for you, and this is for me. See, Stella? You had to come, or there would have been too much.” I could see my daughter had taken the time to pack all this for the three of us, and I wondered how it had gone over with her mother.
“What did your mom have to say about our picnic?” I asked.
“Mom left with some friends of hers last night. I stayed with Miss Johnson,” Kellie replied as though it was the most normal thing in the world. I cringed. I hated that I had to split custody with her mother when most of the time she left her child with the nanny, anyway.
It happened often enough; it only made sense to me for me to take care of her all the time. But then, I didn’t have any say in the matter. I had to go with what the judge said and hope for the best in the future. “I was thinking I would get you a new nanny. One who is a lot more fun than Miss Johnson. I don’t want you to say anything about it to her yet, though.”
I bit into my sandwich and looked at Kellie, who looked at me with bright eyes. “Do you mean it, Daddy?”
“Of course, I do. I think she’s a little rude to you, and I think you could be a lot happier if we were to find you someone who wanted to do what you wanted to do more of the time, you know?” I grinned, and she got up, throwing her arms around me. I couldn’t help but notice her dark circles, but I knew it was a topic I had to approach carefully.
“Did you stay up too late last night?” I asked.
“I went to bed at the normal time, but I didn’t sleep well,” she said. She turned her attention to Stella, chatting away with her about the potential new nanny. I sat in silence, listening to the two of them talking, but unable to focus. I hoped she was just tired and the rims under her eyes had nothing to do with the cancer.
She was going to be heading back to the doctor within the week, but even a couple of days was enough time to drive me up the wall with worry. Every time she turned to me, I smiled, doing what I could to keep the conversation light and cheerful.
By the time we were done with lunch, Stella seemed to be a lot more at ease, though she still wasn’t being herself with me. I decided I wasn’t going to pursue it.
“Alright, I think Miss Johnson is here to pick you up,” I said when I saw the flash on my answering machine. Molly knew how to send me little flashes throughout the day, hinting what was going on outside without me having to listen to the message. I would clear them before I left for the night, and it saved me time throughout my day.
“I don’t want to leave!” Kellie shouted.
“I think you should go get some rest, you look tired,” Stella said as she rose. Kellie looked at her with her bright eyes. I could see she was surprised Stella would also take that kind of approach with her, and she wasn’t going to argue the case. She sighed.
“I want to stay here with you!” she said once more. I wasn’t sure if she was talking to Stella or me, but I wasn’t going to argue.
“You’ve got to get some sleep; then we’re going to do something fun tonight, okay?” I said. It was all the convincing she needed. With a sigh, she gathered up the dishes and the remains of lunch, and Stella held out her hand.
“Give your dad a kiss, and I’ll take you downstairs,” she said with a smile. After one final hug for my daughter, I stood and watched as the two of them walked out of my office. My heart felt a twinge of pain, and I did what I could to ignore the worry building up in the back of my mind. I didn’t want to think about the cancer, and I didn’t want to think about what was happening when Kellie went to stay with her mother.
I wanted to believe everything was good in life, and she was perfectly safe, secure, and happy. I wanted to give her everything.
But I could only do my best — and pray for a miracle.
Chapter 10
“Where’s Anthony?” I asked as I walked back to the front desk. Jace was leaning on his forearms flirting with Molly, and she glanced over her shoulder to his office. The door was open, but his light was off and there was no one inside. She glanced back at me before turning to Jace.
“He called in, said he was going to work from home today.” She spoke in a nonchalant tone, as though it was the most normal thing in the world. I remembered that he’d said when he wasn’t here, he wanted me to be able to step up and handle things, but I had been under the impression that he meant when he was at meetings.
Though I had been working at the company less than a week, I got the impression it was a rare thing for him not to be there. In fact, I had run into him when I was in the office on a Saturday. But, none of the other employees seemed to be even remotely bothered by the fact he wasn’t there, and I knew I was going to have to carry on as usual.
“What do we do with the new emails and things that are coming in?” I asked, looking from one to the other. I was used to getting second hand work — the emails that I knew he wasn’t going to handle. Those were the things that I could do on a daily basis, knowing that he was handling the ones that were coming in with more pressing information.
I felt the tension rise in my chest. I knew she had a point, but it bothered me that she wasn’t nearly as worked up about this as I was. I felt she ought to be a little more understanding of how I felt in the situation, but it was clear she didn’t care about it, at all.
“I just don’t want things to fall behind is all,” I said with a sigh. I turned to go, but Jace stopped me.
“Don’t worry about it. We’re going to get done what we get done, and we can catch up when he gets back. It’s not that big of a deal. Not nearly what he makes it sound like when he’s giving interviews.” The two of them laughed, and I chuckled, though I was still feeling tense and stressed on the inside. I walked over and put my purse on my desk, sitting down and taking a deep breath before opening my computer.
As I suspected, there were several emails waiting for me. They were all from Anthony, telling me he was going to be taking the day off from the office and handling various things at home. He sounded depressed in a way, and I couldn’t help but feel worried about him. I assumed if something had happened with Kellie he would have told me, but there was nothing like that anywhere.
He asked that I take care of as much of the office work as I could and make sure things were ready for him when he came back in the next day. I shot him a quick reply, telling him that I had gotten the emails and was going to do all that I could to make things run smoothly…but I was worried.
Part of me felt bad for being so difficult the past few days. I didn’t mean to be so distant, but I hadn’t known how to feel about the pseudo date he and I had gone on. The situation was so weird, and I didn’t know if I wanted to pursue it or forget that it had happened in the first place. My mind was spinning, and I wanted the whole thing just to go away.