by Lexi Wilson
Parent-teacher conferences are no joke when you’re knocked up. All I want to do is go home and curl up on the couch with my leftover Chinese.
Do you need another foot rub?
Probably.
I can bail on this dinner with my parents and be there in ten minutes.
You have Hannah.
My parents won’t mind watching her. And if you need help getting to sleep, I’ve got the cure.
Mmm, the magic cure.
Evelyn Renee! I am scandalized.
I’m sorry, but I had four of the most amazing orgasms of my life yesterday, and I can’t stop thinking about them.
I smirked to myself at her admission and considered sending something cocky in reply but settled for something sweeter instead.
I can’t stop thinking about you either, Evie.
My next conference should be walking in at any minute, so I better run. Enjoy your dinner.
I can think of something better I’d like to eat for dinner.
Now who's the naughty one??
You bring out the best in me.
Or the worst.
I’ll take the good and the bad as long as it is with you. Let’s get dinner together next week.
Maybe...
I’ll settle for coffee, Evie. I just want to spend time with you. Think about it. That’s all I’m asking.
I gotta go, parents just walked in. See you Sunday!
I stood there, debating whether to bail on my parents and show up at Evie’s unannounced for a replay of the day before. It was where I wanted to be, but I also wanted Evie to come to me for once. I set my phone aside and checked on Hannah who was still engrossed in the ponies and instead went to my room to change into a polo shirt and switch to a nicer pair of shoes. When I went back to the living room, I roused Hannah to change, and then we locked up and walked through the backyard to my parents’ back door.
We let ourselves inside, and Hannah ran ahead to find them. My dad greeted me when I found him in the kitchen.
“Hey, son, how are you?”
“I’m good, dad. How are you?”
“Good, good. You excited for the new job?”
“Yeah, I’m really looking forward to it. Thanks for getting me in touch with the dean.”
“Your mom and I are just glad to have you home, Brett.”
“I’m glad to be home too, dad.”
“How are things with Evie?” I had talked at length to my dad about my situation with Evie, and although I’d left out some details, he knew I still cared about her and wanted to fix things between us.
“Improving.”
“And the baby?” They hadn’t known for sure, but they suspected that the baby was mine. My parents never thought she would cheat on me, and they didn’t think she had jumped into a new relationship that quickly after our divorce.
“She swears he’s kicking up a storm like a ninja.”
My dad chuckled. “You kicked your mom all the time while she was pregnant with you.”
“Must be some sort of Capal boy thing then,” I grinned.
It took a minute for my words to click with my dad but the minute they did, I saw the recognition in his eyes. “She’s having a boy?” he asked quietly.
“Yep, we’re having a boy.”
My dad pulled me into a hug. “Congratulations, son.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
“What’s going on here?” my mom asked as she came into the room.
I smiled at her as my dad let go of me, and I walked over to hug her. When I stepped back, I told her the news. “Evie’s having a boy, mom. I’m gonna have a son.”
She teared up, and her hand flew up to cover her mouth. “Oh, Brett, I’m so happy for you, for both of you.”
“Thanks, mom.”
“Let’s get going so we can celebrate,” my dad spoke up. I called for Hannah, and we set out.
Over dinner, there was a lot of talking and laughing and celebrating both my new job as well as the baby news I had shared with my parents. As we headed out of the restaurant, I heard my name. Looking around, I spotted a former colleague coming towards us.
“Brett Capal, is that really you?”
I laughed and hugged the other man. “Mack Truck! It’s been years, man. How are you?”
“Forget me, how are you? I was glued to the internet for news about you every day. I freaking cried when I saw they rescued you. It’s so great that you’re home.”
“Thanks, Mack.” I turned to my parents. “Mom, Dad, this is Mack Douglas. He works at CNN. Mack, these are my parents, Bill and Patricia.”
“It’s great to meet you both,” Mack said as he shook their hands. “Your son is one heck of a photographer.”
“And this is my daughter, Hannah,” I told him.
Mack squatted down and stuck his hand out to Hannah who shook his. “Nice to meet ya, Hannah. Your daddy talked about you all the time.”
“It is very nice to meet you, Mr. Mack,” she replied politely.
Mack looked up at me as he straightened. “Such manners,” he said impressively.
“Yeah, I can't take credit for that. That’s all Evie.”
“Where is your wife?” he asked.
“That’s a little more complicated.”
He nodded in understanding. “So, when am I going to see you around the offices again? I bet you're itching to get out there and add to that award collection.”
“Actually, I’m not.”
“You’re not? You retiring?”
“From the chase of the story, yes.”
“Daddy is going to stay home with Mommy and me forever,” Hannah spoke up.
I grinned and lifted my little girl into my arms. “That’s right, Hannah Banana. I’m settling down. Finally. I realized back in Syria that while I was running around chasing stories about other people’s lives, I was also missing the story at home. The story of my own life. So, I just accepted a position at UConn to teach photography, and I’m really excited to be here with my girls.”
“Wow, man, good for you,” Mack nodded. “If you ever need a thrill close to home though,” he said, grabbing one of his cards out of his wallet and passing it to me. “Or if you just want to watch the excitement for a day. Don’t be a stranger.”
“I appreciate that. It was good to see you, Mack,” I replied, putting his business card into my wallet. We hugged again.
“Nice to meet you all,” he said to my parents. He fist-bumped Hannah before waving and walking off, and we continued to our car.
“Daddy?” Hannah said, tugging at my sleeve.
“What’s up, baby?”
“I’m glad you’re not leaving anymore. I missed you when you were gone, and so did Mommy. She missed you lots and cried. Now she won’t cry.”
I scooped my daughter up and hugged her tightly. “I will always be here for you and your mom, Hannah. Always, always, always. There isn’t anywhere else I’d rather be.”
The weekend passed too quickly, but Hannah and I had a great time together. After breakfast on Saturday, we hit the nearest Target to pick out a Christmas tree and ornaments and go back home to decorate. Once I got the tree up, Hannah worked on decorating the bottom half while I did the top. I lifted her up into the air to place the star on top, and when we were done, we turned off the lights in the room so we could turn on the tree and admire our hard work.
We bought a few decorations for outside that we put up, and Hannah had picked out a stocking for her and me, and then insisted on also getting one for Evie and the baby too, so I hung all four in the living room as well.
We had lunch after and then swam in the pool for a while before we both fell asleep for mid-afternoon naps. When we woke up, we made dinner, spaghetti, and meatballs, before settling onto the couch and watching a movie. Hannah had a bath, and I read to her before bed. I set an alarm so we could get up for church and then went to bed myself.
Although I had the best-laid plans, I slept through my alarm the next morning and s
o did Hannah, and we missed church. We went out for brunch once were both awake and then went back home to laze around. We played heroes and villains with her little figurines and their playsets for a while before I took her back to Evie’s.
On the short drive to Evie’s, Hannah was quiet, playing with the toys in her lap. When we pulled into the driveway, she looked up and frowned, and a sad look came across her face.
“What’s wrong, Hannah Banana?” I asked her as I parked the car.
“When are you coming home, Daddy? I want us to all be together when my brother comes.”
I got out of the car and walked over to her side and open the door, leaning in to unbuckle her. “I want that too, honey, but I messed up, and we have to give Mommy some time to know that Daddy isn’t going to do that again. I have to make it right, and when I do, we’ll all be together again, I promise.”
“Okay, Daddy.”
“Come on,” I said, helping her form the car. I picked her up and hugged her, kissing her cheek. “No matter what, I love you, Hannah, and so does Mommy. That hasn’t changed, and it never will. We’ve always got you.” I saw Evie open the front door and she stood in the doorway. She lifted her hand and waved, a smile crossing her face. I smiled back and waved before setting Hannah down. “Have a good week at school, and I’ll see you Wednesday, alright?”
“Bye, Daddy!” she called out as she ran up the driveway to her mom. Evie leaned down to hug Hannah before she darted inside. Evie and I stood in place for a moment both of us just looking at the other before I lifted my hand to wave again and she did the same. I got into my car and backed out of the driveway, and Evie stayed in the doorway watching.
It wasn’t until I was back home that it hit me. She waved first again. She smiled when she saw me, and she stayed to watch me leave instead of closing the door at her first chance. I feel lifted, and my heart is lighter than it has been in a while. We’re moving in the right direction. I knew that I was ready to let go and move forward and now I know Evie is too.
Chapter 32
Evie
When Brett backed out of the driveway that night after dropping off Hannah, my feet stayed rooted in place, and I watched until his car disappeared around the bend and I could no longer see him. I felt the butterflies fluttering around again, and when I finally got inside, I leaned back on the door after closing it.
After a few minutes, I headed upstairs to check on Hannah. She was sitting in the middle of her bed with several stuffed animals, and I smiled when I walked on.
“What are you up to, baby?” I asked.
She looked up and then back down at her stuffed friends. “Just playing.”
I ventured into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. “Did you have a nice weekend with your dad?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you do anything exciting?”
“We swam in the pool.”
“That’s it?”
She shook her head and set her bear aside to look at me. “We had dinner with granny and pop-pop. And we watched movies on tv.”
“That sounds like fun.”
“Yeah.” She paused, and I could tell that her little gears were working. “Mommy?”
“Yes, princess?”
“When can Daddy come home? I miss him.”
“We’re working on things, honey. I know you don’t understand and that it’s hard, but I promise that we both love you so very, very much.”
“I wish Daddy was here with us.”
“I know you do, sweetie.” The truth was, I was also starting to miss Brett, and despite my best efforts to resist, I was beginning to realize that in my heart, I wanted him at home with us too.
“Can Daddy come over for dinner?”
“We can ask him. I’m sure he would like to.”
“Yay!” she cheered, her mood instantly brightened. She went back to her toys and I sat and watched her for a while before leaving her be.
Later that night, after Hannah had gone to sleep, I laid awake staring at the ceiling. The baby was doing somersaults in my belly, and I just could not get comfortable. Rolling to my side, I grabbed my phone and sent a text to Brett.
I had no idea one baby could cause this much commotion.
The ninja keeping you up?
Yes. He might be a gymnast and not a ninja; I think he’s training for the Olympics in there.
I’m sorry that he’s keeping you up. What can I do to help?
I don’t think there is anything you can do.
I give a mean foot rub.
That you do. Talking is helpful though. I know it’s late. I hope I didn’t wake you up.
No, I was reviewing some photos for the book. And you know you can bother me any time of the day, Evie. I won’t mind.
Well, I appreciate that. You know, after everything.
Everything is in the past. I’m more concerned with our future.
I’m scared.
I know. I am too. But I’m here; you’ve got me. You need to try and get some sleep, don’t think about us tonight.
I’ll try.
Call me tomorrow if you need me to come help you sleep.
Good night, Brett.
Sweet dreams, Evie.
My sleep was fitful as old memories and feelings had been stirred inside me, and I could not get thoughts of Brett out of my head. He was in my dreams, and I was up well before my alarm as a result. I decided to take a hot shower to start my day, hoping it would help me clear my head.
Unfortunately, it didn’t help at all. Brett still dominated my thoughts as I dug around in my closet for something to wear. Trying to decide what to wear gave me a little bit of a reprieve from my Brett bubble since trying to pull together something that was business professional enough for school but also comfortable was something of a chore. I didn’t want to buy maternity clothes, so I was trying to dress from my usual clothes, which thankfully included a lot of stretchy dresses.
I settled on my favorite red and blue striped dress and paired it with navy tights and tall brown boots and belted it just above my bump. I knew I had a cute little jean jacket I could grab on my way out to go over the top. I needed a little jewelry to punch it up and sat on my bed with a pile of necklaces to look through.
Nothing was really calling to me and I remembered a necklace that I had gotten as a birthday present several years before that I kept in the drawer of my bedside table. Digging through the drawer, my fingers hit a soft, velvet bag toward the back. I drew the bag out and held it in my hand, staring at it. I sank onto the end of the bed and pulled open the drawstring slowly before shaking the contents into my hand. I closed my fist around them and after letting out a breath, opened my hand.
My engagement ring and wedding band glittered in my palm. I hadn’t looked at them in months, not since the day after I filed the divorce papers and took them off, tucking them away for safekeeping, thinking maybe one day that Hannah might want them. I wasn’t even sure if they would fit but looking at them brought a whole new set of emotions to the surface as I felt a lump form in my throat.
Looking at my rings took me back to a simpler time, when Brett and I were young and carefree, before we had kids. We were pursuing our dreams and living in the moment, and we lived on the feeling that nothing was going to tear us apart. I remembered the times I traveled with him while he was on assignment and how much fun we had together. It was exciting being out there with Brett, and I was so proud of him at every industry event we went to, and whether he won or lost an award he was nominated for, I always thought his was the best work.
I knew how important Brett’s work was not only to him but also amongst his colleagues and to the world. He had a knack for giving a face to the things going on in our world that made it more tangible for people to understand and feel compassion for. He had a way of capturing the emotion of a scene that it conveyed itself so effortlessly in his pictures. Somewhere along the way, I became resentful of those photographs though.
As I sat there, th
e baby started kicking up a storm and instinctively I reached down to rub my belly as if it might somehow soothe him.
“It’s okay, baby,” I whispered. “We’ll figure this out.”
As the words left my mouth, I burst into tears. Was it going to be alright? Were we going to be able to figure it out? We hadn't been able to figure this out when we were married; why would now be any different? And then there was the real question that plagued me: was this all my fault?
Had I grown so resentful and spiteful that I couldn’t see past the hurt and the anger and remember the love Brett and I shared? A divorce had been my choice, not Brett’s. He had resisted the idea, but I pushed, and he gave in. My marriage falling apart around me felt more and more like it was all my fault and that Brett was an innocent bystander caught up in my emotions. Maybe I should have tried harder to save what we had.
The truth though was that we both should have tried harder. We both contributed to the downfall of our marriage and playing the blame game wasn’t going to bring me any satisfaction or comfort. I accepted the hand we had been dealt, and now I was going to move forward. I was going to be a better person, a better mom, and a better wife and I was going to fight for what I wanted, no matter how scared I was at the thought of it.
I tucked my rings back into their velvet bag and put them back in the drawer before going to the bathroom to dry my eyes. With a determined look in my eye and a renewed fighting spirit, I left my room to face the day.
On Wednesday, I was teaching social studies to my students. It was the last subject of the day I taught in my classroom before my students went to their art class to finish their day before dismissal. We were learning some US history and discussing some of our past presidents when one of my students raised his hand.