by Lexi Wilson
If I walked away from Jaxon, it would mean walking away from the town. It would mean walking away from my job. I couldn’t do that, even though I probably should. But how could I walk away from the one place and the one person who had made me feel so safe and so happy? Allie would never forgive me, either. She was settled for the first time in her life. I looked up at the stars, then closed my eyes and made a wish. When I opened my eyes, Jaxon was staring at me.
“Hi,” I said shyly.
“What were you thinking about there?” he asked.
“I made a wish.”
“Oh yeah? What did you wish for?”
“I can’t tell you. If I tell you, then it won’t come true.”
“Hmm, let me make one too then,” he said, and closed his eyes.
“What did you wish for?” I asked when he was done.
He laughed. “Uh uh, that’s not how it works. I really hope my dream comes true.”
“Same here,” I said, and smiled at him.
“You know, you look really pretty tonight,” he said.
I giggled. “Why? Because I’m mostly hidden in the dark?”
He groaned. “No, you’re just as pretty in the light of day. Kaylee, can’t you take a compliment?”
“Sorry, being sarcastic is my default when someone is so nice to me.”
“Well, you better get used to it, because I’m going to compliment you every day. In fact, I’m going to compliment you so much that you eventually just get used to it.”
I grinned. “Fine. I’ll compliment you right back. I like your hair.”
He laughed. “My hair? My red hair? You can’t like that. I don’t believe it.”
I frowned. “Why not?”
“Because…well…nobody likes red hair.”
“Who says? I like it. It suits you. You’re…well, you’re incredibly cute, Jaxon.”
He groaned. “Cute? I don’t want to be cute. No man wants to be cute.”
“Well, I’m sorry, but that’s what you are. You’re the cutest in the world. Cute in a sexy sort of way, though.”
He beamed. “That’s more like it.” Suddenly his face turned serious. He stood up and held out his hand. “Come with me.”
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Just come with me,” he said.
I took his hand and followed him to his room. I didn’t spend a lot of time in his room. He slept in my room every night. It was only when I went inside now that I realized how few times I’d been in here. I wondered why he had taken me here and not to my room. Then I realized it was probably because it was further away from Allie. For the first time, he didn’t want us to be quiet. He kissed me, hard and fast, and this time he wasn’t as gentle with me as he usually was. He pushed me down on the bed and smiled at me. If he had done this to me a few months ago, I probably would’ve screamed, but I felt differently now. I knew that he was not doing this to control me. He was doing it because he felt passionate about me, and I was surprised at how comfortable I was seeing him this way. I didn’t mind that he wasn’t gentle with me. I liked the roughness and the strength that he had. I liked the way he took control. I took my clothes off and spread myself on the bed, and I licked my lips as he walked over to me, fully erect and with a wild look on his face I had never seen before. He told me that I drove him crazy, and then he pushed himself inside me, and although it was different than the times before when we had made love so softly and quietly, it was a huge turn on. It wasn’t the first time a man had done this to me, but this was different than the way it had been before. I knew that if I wanted him to stop, all I would have to do was ask him. Knowing that made all the difference in the world, and besides, being with Jaxon was completely unlike any other sexual experiences I had ever had; even when he was rough, it was still somehow loving, and sexy, and very welcome.
Jaxon ravished me, and the sex was hot and passionate, and nothing like what it had been like before. Our breathing was shallow, and knowing that our room was so far away, I allowed myself to groan and moan and fully experience him inside me, turning us both on with my noises. It felt so good to let go this way and to enjoy every part of each other’s bodies. Sex was usually soft and sweet, but this was very different. Just before we came, he pulled out of me and spent some time licking and biting every single part of my body until I was literally trembling and begging more for me. I wasn’t sure I had ever begged during sex before. In fact, up until this moment I didn’t even know it was possible to feel so much desire, but as his hot, velvety tongue circled in on my clitoris while his other hand squeezed my breasts, I thought I was going to come off the bed with excitement. My legs started shaking with anticipation, and we were both so turned on he entered me again, his dick as hard as a rod and my pussy completely dripping with pleasure. He pumped in and out as we both moaned louder and louder and I actually bit my lip to keep from screaming out loud; it felt that good to have him inside me and I was so worked up from the oral sex. When we finally both came, it was as if a volcano had erupted inside me, and I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to be the same again. I had missed out on so much in life, but Jaxon was finally showing me how to live. I couldn’t believe I had gone my whole life without experiencing what I had just experienced. Why had I not allowed myself that kind of pleasure with a man, that intense and amazing kind of sex and connection?
Afterwards, we lay there in each other’s arms while we waited for our breathing to go back to normal. Then, he turned to me and kissed me on the forehead.
“Let’s go back to your room,” he said. “In case Allie wakes up and can’t find us.”
I smiled. “You’re so sweet.”
The fact that he was thinking of my daughter was so wonderful and said so much about his character. This was the sort of man that I needed in my life. We quickly got changed, then tiptoed our way back to my room. I opened the door leading to Allie’s room and poked my head in to makes sure she was okay. She was fast asleep, snoring gently. I chuckled at the sight of her. She’d kicked the blanket right off and was sprawled across the bed like a starfish. I quickly went up to her and put the blanket back on, then I made my way back to my room, where Jaxon was already in bed.
“All okay?” he asked.
I nodded. “All okay. She’s fast asleep.”
“Good.”
“Thanks…thanks for saying we should come back here,” I said. “That’s so nice of you.”
He smiled. “Allie is a such a good kid,” he said. “Hey, are you okay with what just happened with us? I mean…was I too rough? I’d rather you tell me and be honest with me.”
“No, you weren’t too rough. In fact, I quite enjoyed that. I haven’t seen that side of you yet.”
He chuckled. “To be honest, neither have I. I guess you just bring that side out of me.”
“I take back what I said. You’re not that cute,” I said.
“What? Why not? What happened? I want to be cute again.”
I giggled. “Nah, you’re way too sexy to be cute.”
He grinned. “Okay, I can deal with that.”
I leaned in and kissed him. “Goodnight, sexy Jaxon. Sleep well.”
“Goodnight, beautiful Kaylee. Sleep well, too.”
I switched the light off and closed my eyes. Bill came into my mind even though I didn’t want him to. I supposed it had been the thought of the sort of sex we had just had together. While it had been so different than being with Bill, it reminded me of how things had been with him. I used to be so scared of him, but this had been the opposite of that. I sighed. I needed to stop thinking about Bill. One day I would forget about him altogether. And I knew that it was going to be because of Jaxon that I finally got over him for good.
Chapter 23
Jaxon
I had been sitting in the garden when the phone rang, and I ran inside to get it.
“Hi, darling,” my mom said. “Did I disturb you?”
“Of course not! I was just sitting outside. Allie is pl
aying with Toby. She loves that dog. I swear, that dog has had more attention in the past few months than in his whole life.” Allie had made me realize how much I’d neglected poor Toby. I hadn’t realized how little attention I gave him until she came around. He was such a good dog, so I was happy he now had someone to play with.
“Lucky dog. Do you have plans later?” she asked.
“Well, it’s Friday, so we usually get pizza and watch a movie.” It was a tradition, and it was what Kaylee loved to do. Not that I was complaining, though. I loved it too.
“How about you come to the movies with us instead?” she asked.
“Us?”
“Myself and Mindy. There’s a new Disney movie showing and we thought it would be nice to take Allie too. We can make an afternoon of it. Movies, followed by ice cream and maybe even dinner. We haven’t done something like that in ages, and we’ve never done it with Kaylee. It will be fun.”
“Uh, well…” How was I going to explain to her that Kaylee didn’t want to go out? I didn’t want to start up this conversation, because it would just open up a whole lot of things I wasn’t ready to face up to yet.
“Come on dear, you can’t stay holed up forever,” she said.
“I know… but…”
“It will be good for her to get out. And for Allie.”
“You’re right,” I said. My mother was incredibly astute. She knew that Kaylee was hiding from the world and she knew that I was helping her. She also knew, as I did, that it wasn’t necessarily a good thing to keep doing. “It would be great for them. Okay, let me see if I can twist her arm.”
“Ask her in front of Allie. She won’t be able to say no then.”
I burst out laughing. “Mom! You’re so devious. I had no idea you had this side to you.”
“Oh please, of course you did,” she said with a laugh.
“Smart move. I think I’ll try it.”
“Good. We would love for you to join us.”
I put the phone down and went back outside. Kaylee was reading the newspaper and Allie was on the floor with the dog playing tug of war. She liked acting like she was a dog too. If she didn’t become a musician, then she would more than likely work with animals.
“That was my mom,” I said.
“Oh, how is Lisa doing?” Kaylee asked.
“She’s good. Actually, she called to invite us out to the movies this afternoon.” I tried to say it as casually as possible so that it didn’t seem like a big deal. I wanted her to feel as if this was her choice and not my own.
Kaylee frowned. “Today?” The look on her face was clearly one of panic, and I wasn’t sure if I was doing the right thing by asking her to go out. Maybe my mother was wrong. Maybe we were better off at home. What was going out going to achieve away? But, then again, how much longer could we go on this way? This was not a normal way to behave, and if she so desperately craved normality then some changes had to be made.
“Yeah, there’s some Disney movie showing and she wants us to join them. She’s going with Mindy but she wanted you, me, and Allie to come too.”
“DISNEY!” Allie screamed. “I love Disney.”
I laughed. I had hoped that Allie would overhear that part. “Yeah, and I’m sure my mother and Mindy love it too. They probably want Allie to come so that they can use her as an excuse to see a kids’ movie. She said we could watch a movie and then maybe go for ice cream and even something to eat. What do you think? I know it’s not what we normally do on a Friday night, but it might be nice.”
“Oh…uh…”
“Please, Mommy! Please,” Allie begged.
Kaylee sighed. “Well, okay then. You’re right. It will be fun,” she said.
I grinned. “It will be. I’ll call my mother back and let her know.”
The devious plan had worked. I felt a bit bad using Allie to get Kaylee to come out with us, but I knew it would be worth it. Kaylee had loved that night out when we’d gone for pizza, but since then we hadn’t done it again. Also, I wanted to treat her. I wanted to treat both of them.
“The ice cream is on me, though,” she said as she walked into the house from outside. It was as if she were reading my mind. I was about to protest when I saw the look on her face. “Let me at least get the ice cream,” she said.
I smiled and nodded. “That sounds like a great idea. Thank you.” I made a mental note to let my mother know not to insist on paying for the ice cream either. It was obviously important for Allie to pay.
We got ready and then headed out to the cinema to meet with Mindy and my mother. Today they really did look like a couple, and I wondered if I should speak to my mother about it. I didn’t want her to think I had a problem with it. She had always taught me to be open and honest about everything, so I wasn’t sure why she felt she had to hold back on this. Unless, of course, she hadn’t even admitted it to herself. Maybe they liked each other but were too scared to tell each other the truth. If that was the case, then I really had no leg to stand on in that conversation, because that was exactly what Kaylee and I were doing. In some ways, we were being completely dishonest about our feelings. And with every day that passed, my feelings for her just got deeper and deeper.
“Mom, you look beautiful,” I said as we arrived. I enveloped her in a big hug.
“She always looks beautiful,” Mindy said.
She grinned. “Oh, what a nice son I have. You are just too lovely for words. You too, Mindy. You guys are good for my ego. I’m excited to have you all here. I’ll be honest, I feel better now that Allie is here. It was weird going to see a Disney movie without a child.”
I laughed and turned to Kaylee. “What did I tell you? I knew she was using us for this reason.”
“Well yes, but I’m also happy to have you with us,” she said. “Now, who wants popcorn?”
We all made our way to the popcorn stand, and Allie was beside herself with excitement. She also seemed to have no idea what was going on and kept asking me a million questions. She wanted to know what to do with the popcorn and asked us when she was going to see some Disney. Finally, I looked at Kaylee and frowned.
“Has Allie ever been to the movies before?” I asked her.
She shook her head. “No. This is her first time.”
“Oh, that’s definitely a reason to celebrate,” I said. “I wish I could remember my first experience. Mom, do you remember?”
My mother shook her head. “Sadly not. It’s creaky in this old brain of mine. I should’ve written it down. You should definitely write this moment down,” she said to Kaylee. “You think you won’t forget, but you do.”
“Great idea,” Kaylee said thoughtfully. “Thanks for inviting us. I’m glad we’re all together for Allie’s first movie experience. You’re going to love it, Allie.”
Allie had the best time. I was worried that she might get bored, as the movie was an hour and a half. At home, she often fell asleep or had Toby to keep her busy when she was no longer interested in the screen, but she was captivated the entire time. When we got into the theater she gasped at the size of the screen, and when the movie started she almost jumped out of her seat in excitement. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing, and kept pointing whenever she saw something she liked. I noticed that Kaylee spent most of the time watching her and smiling, while I spent most of my time watching Kaylee. It was so nice to see them enjoying themselves like this, and I was so glad that my mother had convinced me to do this with them.
Allie skipped out of the theater, talking nonstop about the characters she had seen on the screen. She was beside herself.
“Did you see the girl with the blue dress? She was so beautiful. I want a dress like that one day.”
Kaylee smiled. “You’re even more beautiful than she is.”
“Me?”
“Yes, of course you are.”
Allie giggled.
“So, who wants ice cream?” I said, and everyone cheered.
We made our way to the ice cream parlor, w
here we all ate probably a bit too much ice cream. We piled our cups high with different flavors and toppings, and then laughed harder than usual from the sugar high that hit us.
“I love ice cream,” Allie said with a sigh as she licked her cup clean.
“So do I,” Kaylee said. “But ice cream is a treat. It’s not something you can have every day.”
“Maybe for breakfast?” Allie suggested.
I laughed. “I like the way you think. Sadly, we can’t have it for breakfast, but how about we have it once a week. It can be our little treat.”
“Yes!” she said.
I smiled at Kaylee. I’d almost said that it would be our new family tradition, but I was so glad that I stopped myself from saying the thought out loud. How could we have a family tradition when we weren’t a real family? I watched as Kaylee and Allie interacted with my mother and Mindy. It was an odd little ‘family’ dynamic, that was for sure. I realized that being around these people was what I had always wanted in life. And once again, I realized just how deeply I had fallen in love with this woman. I wanted to tell her, but I was scared that she’d run the moment she knew how I felt about her. She’d made it clear that she wasn’t here to make permanent ties. I had a feeling that she was here to make money and then leave. It had already been a few months. How many more months until she decided that it was time to go? I couldn’t bear the thought of losing her. I caught my mother looking at me, and realized she’d just seen me staring at Kaylee with probably a very wistful look on my face. I smiled at her, then quickly busied myself by throwing the empty cups away. I didn’t want to see the worried look on my mother’s face right now.
“So, are you all ready to go?” I said to them.
We had all planned to go out to eat after the movie, but the popcorn and the ice cream had left us feeling too full. Instead, we said our goodbyes and went home. Later that night, when the hunger came back, we made simple toasted sandwiches and ate on picnic blankets outside in the garden. Allie was still talking about the movie and telling us the plot even though we’d seen it with her. I saw Kaylee take out a little notepad from her bag and write something down.