“Well, babe, I think we both need to be far away from my house at dinnertime tonight. And much as I hate to say it, I don’t think we should get together this trip. Don’t want to give my frickin’ mother any false hopes.”
“Yeah. What a load of crap. I should have known Mom didn’t really want to talk.”
“Yep. Well, now we know. I think I’m gonna hit the road back to school early. Thanks for the warning.”
“You’re welcome.”
“You got somewhere you can go?”
“Oh yeah. My uncle and his boyfriend have a hotel room, and they’re coming over to get me. Along with Jade.”
“Jade Byrne?”
“That’s the one. He was on the same train as us, and we’ve—we’re hanging out.” Sandy squirmed at Brittany’s knowing laugh.
“Nice. Sounds perfect. Good luck with Father G.”
“God. Oops, here’s Mom, gotta go. Thanks, Britt.”
“Sure thing. Text me!”
He hung up as Mom swung open the door. “There you are! Go change clothes. Those jeans are dirty.”
The doorbell rang. Sandy, clean and presentable in khakis and a button- down shirt, opened it to find Father Gilhooly and another man standing on the porch, smiling like used car salesmen.
“Sandy! So good to see you back home again where you belong.”
“Hello, Father.” Sandy backed up to let them in.
“This is Marcus Buchanan.”
Sandy had heard that name. Buchanan was the guy who ran an “ex-gay therapy” program sponsored by the Catholic diocese. Not New Beginnings, but something similar. So Mom had brought in the big guns for her little “talk.” His throat tightened at her betrayal.
Marcus Buchanan was a pudgy middle-aged guy, and his curly hair and tilted eyes gave him a fey appearance. Sandy’s gaydar gave a loud beep.
Buchanan stuck out his hand with a smarmy smile. “Hello, Sandy. It’s a blessing to finally meet you.” He seemed to have trouble restraining his gaze from raking over Sandy’s body. Gross.
Sandy reluctantly took his damp hand, letting go as soon as politely possible. “Hello.”
Mom came bustling out, wiping her hands on a dish towel with a distracted air. “Father! Mr. Buchanan! I didn’t hear the bell. Come in, come in. We have tea for you in the living room.”
She led them down the hall with Sandy following, his rage having transformed into blessed numbness. He was done giving a fuck. His parents were never going to change. He’d wait out Mom and her religious henchmen until his posse showed up to rescue him.
Sitting on the couch as the other three chatted, Sandy feigned interest and nodded his head, but he’d flown far away. He kept feeling Jade’s arm around his waist, Jade’s breath on his shoulder, Jade’s lips on his. He saw Uncle Phinney and Cody in his mind, laughing and kissing. He envisioned Portland, home of all that was weird, and now his home, and pulled it toward him, wrapping himself in a tie-dyed rainbow quilt while Father Gilhooly, Marcus Buchanan, and Mom made nice. An imaginary Dare zoomed by on his skateboard, laughing at the fools in Sandy’s living room, Brittany threw back her head and cackled, and Sandy smiled.
Mom must have thought he’d smiled at them, because she smiled back, then turned to the company. “Well, Father. I’m so glad you could come and have this little talk with us. You too, Marcus.”
“It’s my pleasure, Darcy.” Father Gilhooly patted his lips with his napkin. His bald forehead gleamed in the lamplight. “Anything to help your family.”
“Thank you.” Mom cast a glance at Sandy, who stared back at her, betraying nothing with his expression.
Father Gilhooly turned to him with a would-be caring gaze. “So, Sandy. How are you, my son?”
“Fine.” He added, “Sir,” as an afterthought.
“You’ve gone so far away from us. Your parents have been very worried.” His shiny forehead wrinkled with concern. “I know you’ve been struggling with… certain issues, and I want you to know we understand. We’re here to support you. God loves you, son.”
Sandy inclined his head but didn’t reply, and Mom dabbed at her eyes with her napkin.
Picking up his cue, Marcus Buchanan leaned forward, his curls bouncing lightly with the movement. “Sandy, I know where you’re coming from. I’ve been where you are, man.”
Sandy almost barfed at his attempt at youthful language. What a tool.
“I, too, have had lustful urges. Sinful urges toward people of the same sex. But I’ve come to see that it was Satan occupying my mind and my heart.” He placed a hand dramatically on his chest.
Was this guy for real? He was as queer as a three-dollar bill. Father Gilhooly appeared slightly uncomfortable. Guess he didn’t want Marcus B. to get any on him. Sandy affected a thoughtful pose, tilting his head like he was deeply considering the bullshit ol’ Marcus was feeding him.
“Prayer and therapy saved me! It’s true, man.” He held out his left hand so Sandy could see the wedding band gleaming dully, not at all matching the brilliant fervor in Marcus’s eyes. “I’m living proof that God works miracles, if you let Him.”
Mom clasped her hands, Father Gilhooly bowed his head, and Sandy nodded, waiting for the “close,” as they called it in his marketing class.
But before Buchanan could get to the details about his “pray away the gay” center, the front door slammed open, footsteps sounded in the hall, and Uncle Phinney, Cody, and Jade walked in like the Three Gay Musketeers.
“Beanpole!” Mom jumped up, her hand to her mouth, her eyes narrowing. “What are…?”
Her question died in the face of Jade’s shout of laughter. Everyone stared at him as he shook with merriment. Finally, he choked out, “Well, hello there, ‘Likes It Rough’! Fancy meeting you here.”
Sandy followed Jade’s gaze to Marcus Buchanan, who’d stood, his face a sickly green.
“Ain’t Grindr fab?” Jade struck a pretty pose and blew Buchanan a kiss. Then he said to Mom and Father Gilhooly, “Hello, Mrs. Nixon, Father. You might not know what Grindr is. It’s a gay hookup app. What’s he doing at your house, Sandy?”
“Telling me God can turn me straight with the help of his conversion therapy. Guess not.”
Father Gilhooly rose and hurried from the room, Mom scurrying after him. Uncle Phinney’s face darkened, and he advanced on Marcus. “Get the hell out of here.”
Cody strode up next to Phineas and put a hand on his back. “You tell him, tiger.”
As Buchanan took his sorry ass out of the room, Phinney and Cody kissed. Of course. And Connor came in, holding up his iPhone. “I got it all on video!”
Sandy frowned at Jade. “Grindr?”
“Not with him. Gross. Barf! I recognized him from his doofy profile, which pops up all the time when I’m in Rockford.”
“Hmm.”
“I never actually used it, just looked.” Jade batted his eyelashes at him.
Sandy laughed, as Jade no doubt meant him to. “Good.” He looked around to find Uncle Phinney, Cody, and Connor watching them with matching expressions of avid interest and felt his face get hot.
“Get your bags packed, and let’s get out of here.” Uncle Phinney ran his hand through his hair. “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. What a world.”
Cody rubbed his back. “Wanna go sit in the car, babe?”
“What about your date with Brittany?” Jade asked Sandy.
“Not happening.”
Before Sandy had time to explain, Mom came back, eyes red. “Don’t go, Beanpole. I….” Tears leaked out.
Uncle Phinney didn’t react. “You what, Darcy? I have nothing to say to you.” He took hold of Cody’s hand and glared at her. “Unless you’re ready to accept me as I am.”
“I… I’ll pray for you.” She turned her back on him and gave Sandy and Connor a stern look—but her attempt to affect her usual Mom pose wasn’t working, not with the way her hands trembled. “You boys set the table for dinner. Only plates for Connor and the girls. Dad, Sandy, and
I are going to the Livingstons’.”
Sandy responded to Jade’s sharp glance with a shake of his head. He didn’t bother to respond to Mom. He needed to pack and hadn’t yet told her he was leaving with Uncle Phinney and the others. After what she’d done today, he didn’t much care what she thought about that. He caught Connor’s eye.
Connor nodded at him, like go ahead. “I’ll start, Mom. Sandy has to go to the bathroom.”
“We’ll be in the car,” Cody said to them, ignoring Mom’s existence like a champ as he and Uncle Phineas walked past.
Connor went into the dining room, and Jade followed, saying brightly, “I’ll help, Mrs. Nixon!”
Sandy didn’t have time to see the expression on Mom’s face at Jade’s offer as he ran to his room. He threw the clothes he’d brought with him into his suitcase, along with a few extra sweaters and one pair of shoes he’d always liked. He took a look around, knowing that he was probably never coming back again. He hadn’t been able to take much when he’d run away, not wanting to cause suspicion. As his eyes fell on sports trophies, yearbooks, and video games, he realized he was done with all of that too. He didn’t need anything from his past, although he did cast a mournful glance at his bookshelf. Then he told himself to get over it. Powell’s had all the books he’d ever need.
A commotion out front drew him to the window. Oh damn. Dad had gotten home. There he was, true to form, yelling at Uncle Phinney through the closed car window. As if that would do anything but get the neighbors to call the cops. Dad must have been drinking, the jerk. He heard his sisters run down the hall and slam shut their bedroom door.
He went to their room and knocked. “It’s Sandy.”
Maureen opened the door a crack, her eyes wide and fearful. He entered the room to see Bridget and Caitlin sitting on the floor, Barbies in their hands and thumbs in their mouths. It tore Sandy up to leave them. If he could spirit them all away to Portland, he would.
“How are you guys?”
“Okay.”
“Hey. I love you. You know that, right?”
Maureen nodded, eyes downcast. Bridget smiled a gap-toothed grin and said, “Love you too, San-san.” Caitlin giggled and blew him a kiss.
“Come here and give your big bro a hug.” Sandy knelt and held out his arms, and the three of them barreled into him, nearly knocking him over. “That’s my girls.” He kissed their hair, their faces, any part he could reach, while his eyes filled up. Finally he released them. “Be good. No… be yourselves, okay? God loves you just the way you are. Remember that. And come out and see me and Uncle Phinney in Oregon.”
When Caitlin started to sniffle, Sandy had to leave before he broke down entirely. Outside, the shouting had subsided. Cody had probably driven the car around the block or something.
Sandy retrieved his suitcase and went downstairs where Dad waited, his face thunderous. Connor and Jade hovered in the dining room along with Mom, who was hugging her arms to her body like she was trying to hold herself together.
When Dad opened his mouth, no doubt to shout at him, Sandy put out his hand.
“No more, Dad. I’m not listening.” He turned to Jade. “Let’s go. Connor, you wanna come with for the night? See me to the airport tomorrow?”
“Yeah.”
Dad raised his voice and his fist simultaneously. “You’re both staying put. This is my goddamn house and you’re my goddamn sons, and you’ll do as I say, by God!”
Jade walked into Dad’s line of sight, his phone held aloft. “Just so you know, I’m videoing this. Lay one finger on either of them, and this goes on YouTube. Sir.”
Connor, face pale, advanced on Dad. “I’m going with them.”
Mom uttered a cry. “No, Connor! You are not dropping out of school like your brother did. You will not bring shame on this family like Sandy. If he wants to turn his life over to Satan, so be it. I’ll not have another son of mine—”
“Mom, shut the fuck up. I wasn’t planning to leave for good. But keep it up, and I will.” Connor turned to Dad. “And you. Take one more swing at me and I’m turning you in to….” He stopped, struggling to find the words.
“A pumpkin?” Jade suggested.
Sandy, who’d been veering between rage at his parents and pride at Connor, shot an exasperated glance at Jade even as he laughed. “You and your pumpkins. Child Protective Services.”
“Right!” Connor shook his fist in Dad’s face. “Child Protective Services. This is documented now. So don’t fuck with me. And next time you drive the girls after you’ve been drinking, I will turn you in.” He turned his back on Dad. “Let’s roll. Cody and Phinney are around the corner.”
Chapter Nine
Sandy lay on the big hotel bed, his head on Uncle Phinney’s shoulder while Connor rested on Phinney’s other shoulder. Jade snuggled in against Sandy’s back. Cody had declined the puppy pile in favor of providing soft soothing music on his guitar.
“I love you both so much.” Uncle Phinney patted them tenderly. “I’m so proud of my nephews.”
“Thanks, Uncle Phinney.” Connor’s voice sounded muffled, like he’d stuck his face into Phinney’s armpit or something.
Sandy soothed the emotions swirling inside by concentrating on the safety of Uncle Phinney’s sturdy shoulder and the soft touch of Jade’s arm around him. He didn’t want to think about his parents or his former home or his brother and sisters stuck there. He wanted to be here, warm and loved, with Cody playing softly in the background.
Cody paused. “We can cut our trip short, you know. We can come home with you if you want, Sand-Man.”
“No. I’m cool.”
“You sure?” Uncle Phinney’s frown was full of concern. “It’s really okay. Cody and I already talked about it.”
“I’ll be fine, Uncle Phinney. I’ll be where I want to be, in Portland. Blaine and Gemma are around if I need anyone.”
“And I’m only a few hours up the road,” Jade said softly into Sandy’s ear.
Sandy grabbed his hand and squeezed. “I know.” Then he peered over at Connor. “Connor’s the one we need to worry about.”
“I’ll be fine. I’m sticking around till I graduate, then I’m out of there. I don’t want to leave the girls until I have to.”
“Call us. Anytime, day or night.” Uncle Phinney made an anxious sound. “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, I’m worried for you.”
Jade stirred and raised up on one elbow. “Papa’s aware of the situation. I sent him the video.”
When everyone looked at him funny, he added, “He’s a cop, remember? He’ll keep an eye out. Connor, he said for you to call him if things get hinky.”
“Cool. Thanks.”
They all flopped back down, and Sandy relaxed completely. He found himself stroking Jade’s hand and wishing they had a room to themselves. As if reading his thoughts, Jade leaned up and nibbled his earlobe. Now Sandy really needed for them to get a room.
“Come to my house tonight?” Jade whispered.
“Um, Uncle Phinney?”
“Hmm?”
“Is it cool for me to go over to Jade’s? He’s gotta go to the airport tomorrow too, so I can get a ride to the shuttle with them. You guys could drop Connor off and be on your way.”
He saw Uncle Phinney smile and glance over at Cody, who smiled back. “Sure. As long as Connor is okay with his brother ditching him his last night here.”
“Whatever, man.” Connor yawned. “I’ll be here, cockblocking Cody and Uncle Phinney.”
A half hour later, Jade and Sandy were finally, finally naked in each other’s arms on Jade’s firm mattress. Kissing. Jade’s lips lit Sandy on fire—so pliant, so… kissable. Jade captured Sandy’s bottom lip between his teeth and pulled gently. Sparks flew—inside, outside, from Jade’s dark eyes, consuming Sandy.
They kissed for the longest time, bodies tight against each other, legs entwined, hard cocks nudging. Holding each other like they couldn’t let go, like they were welded together into one being.
Jade’s slender arms gripped him with surprising strength, yet gentleness seemed to flow through him.
He kept reaching up to pat Sandy’s cheek, stroke his hair. Gently, gently. He said hardly a word, but everything showed in his eyes.
Who knew sex could be so emotional? Sex had been fun and exciting with Brittany, and even more so with Dare. But Dare had never looked at him the way Jade was looking at him right now—vulnerable and open and like Sandy was the most amazing thing he’d ever seen. That was how Jade was gazing at him, how he knew he was gazing at Jade. He leaned in and lost himself in the warmth of Jade’s mouth.
Sandy lost all track of time and place, and would have been content to float in their kissing cocoon forever, had Jade not placed his hand lightly on Sandy’s cock. That touch alone made him arch up with a soft cry.
“Here,” Jade whispered. “Let’s do it this way.” He unpeeled from Sandy’s arms for a moment, and when he was back, he brought their dicks together with lube-slickened hands.
Sandy gasped but kept his arm tight around Jade as Jade’s hand stroked them and Jade’s velvety cock rubbed against his. Jade raised his eyes, and their gazes locked. Sandy felt like he was having an out-of-body experience, losing touch with everything but Jade’s hand around their shafts and the emotion in his eyes. As his balls tightened and his climax built, Sandy fought to stay present. He didn’t want to miss this—miss Jade, his beautiful face contorting with ecstasy as he flung his head back and came. Then Sandy’s orgasm crashed over him, knocking him adrift with its intensity.
When he came to, Jade was there, a sweet smile on his lips and that Jade-like sparkle in his eyes. He opened his mouth, no doubt to make some flippant remark, but Sandy put his fingers on Jade’s lips to stop him. Maybe it was corny, but Sandy didn’t think he could stand Jade turning what had just happened into a joke or a flirty fling. Jade’s eyes softened, and he kissed Sandy’s fingers.
“Gonna get a washcloth.” Then he was gone.
Sandy lay flat and stared up at the ceiling, hands under his head, no longer in the now but thinking about tomorrow, traveling back to Portland while Jade traveled to Seattle. They weren’t far from each other. They could visit. Jade had even said so at the hotel— “I’m only a few hours up the road.”
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