“Is that where you study?” A whirring sound competed with Jade’s voice.
“Yeah. It’s less distracting than studying at home. What are you doing?
Running the vacuum?” He wouldn’t put it past Jade to be cleaning house on a Sunday morning.
“No, I’m making my protein shake. I hate it when I travel and can’t do my shakes. It gets me all out of whack. I put all kinds of stuff in them— yogurt and berries and psyllium husks and this green superfood thing you can get at Trader Joe’s. Oh, and a banana.”
“So healthy. Am I gonna have to be a health nut if I hang out with you?”
“Darling, the answer is yes. But only because you’ll need your energy.”
Sandy smiled at Jade’s suggestive tone. “I’ll keep that in mind. Make sure I do my workouts.”
“You do that, pumpkin. Those heavenly biceps need tending to.” The whirring came to an end. “How is it, being at the condo by yourself? Any scary noises in the night?”
“No, it’s fine. Uncle Phinney’s called like three times, and it’s been less than twenty-four hours. I’ve gotta go grocery shopping today, though.”
“Oh, poor you. No Cody to cook gourmet meals for you.”
“I’ll survive. Do you get meals through the college?”
“No, I’m not on the meal plan. I’m not even in the dorms. I’ve got an independent living situation. I’d love to show it to you sometime.”
“I’d like that.” And it’s going to be sooner than you think.
“And before you ask anything more about it, I’m going to keep it a surprise until you come up to visit me. I guess after Christmas break.”
“Yeah. You’re going back to Rockford for Christmas, right?”
He heard Jade sigh. “Well, yes, even though I’d love to stay out here. I can’t leave Papa alone for Christmas. You’ll be in Portland, right?”
“Yeah. Cody and Phinney will be back, and we’re gonna celebrate with Gemma and Blaine.” A kernel of an idea took hold.
“Sounds divine. Well, I guess I should let you go.”
Sandy didn’t want to get off the phone. “Let’s talk later. I’ll call you after I’m back from the library. It’ll be my reward for studying.”
Jade laughed softly. “Ah, Sandy Nixon, you heartbreaker. Still such a sweetie after all these years.”
“I don’t get the thing about breaking hearts, though.”
“That’s okay. Talk to you later, pumpkin.”
Sandy tossed the phone on the bed and stretched. Heartbreaker. That was the second time Jade had called him that. He’d ask him about it later.
He got up and headed to the shower, counting down the hours until he got to talk to Jade again.
“Okay, Sand-Man, you’re off duty.” Blaine walked behind the counter of his coffee shop and made a shooing motion at Sandy, who was wiping down the espresso machine. “Get out of here and go study for those exams.”
“Yessir.” Sandy gave Blaine a salute. “But I think I’ll have a cup of coffee first.”
“Absolutely. Free coffee coming right up.”
“Make it to go, okay?” Sandy took a seat on the other side of the counter. His phone buzzed with yet another text from Uncle Phinney. He made a face but then laughed at the selfie of Phinney and Cody with their heads close together, goofy smiles and all. “These guys kill me.”
Blaine set his coffee down and leaned over to inspect the photo.
“They’re the best. Sounds like it’s going well with Cody’s family too.”
“Yeah. I’m glad for Cody.”
“How’re you holding up at the condo all by your lonesome? Any wild parties I need to not tell Phineas about?” Blaine raised a knowing eyebrow.
“As if. Everything’s okay, as I tell Uncle Phinney at least twice a day.”
Sandy shook his head.
“Well, you know Phineas. He’s a worrier. Gemma wants you to come over for dinner tomorrow.”
“Sure.” His phone buzzed again, this time with a call from Jade.
They’d been talking every day, sometimes several times a day, in the week since he’d been home. He hopped off the stool and grabbed his to-go cup.
“Gotta take this call. See you later.”
“Later.”
Sandy pushed open the door, then picked up Jade’s call. “Hey.”
“Hey, Sand-Man. How’s your fabulous self?”
Sandy grinned. “Not as fabulous as you, but then, no one could be.”
“Wow, such flattery.”
“All true.”
“Please. I bet you say that to all the girls, and I mean that literally, pumpkin.”
A block down the sidewalk, a park bench beckoned, and Sandy headed for it. “Girls? Naw. No girls I’m saying anything to these days.” But that reminded Sandy of the “heartbreaker” comment Jade had made the week before. “Hey, I wanted to ask you something.”
“Ask away.”
Sandy settled on the bench. “Why do you call me a heartbreaker? Do you really believe that?”
A short silence ensued. Sandy took a nervous sip of coffee.
“That’s more on me than it is on you.” Jade sounded nervous himself.
“What do you mean?”
“Okay. True confessions time. You ready?”
“Sure.”
“The thing is, I’ve been a little in love with you for a long time. Years!”
“Huh?”
“You helped me with math homework in eighth grade, back when I was a scrawny, sad little gay boy who everyone hated. You stayed after school to tutor me. You probably don’t even remember this. But you were so nice and sweet and patient. And cute! My God, those freckles!”
“I tutored you?” Sandy tried to remember the “sad little gay boy”
Jade had described. He couldn’t. All he remembered about Jade was his fearlessness as he fashioned himself into an unforgettable performer with more talent in his little finger than the rest of them had in their whole bodies.
“Wow. I don’t recall. You’ve always been this out-there star in my memory. I admired you. Still do.”
“See, there you go, being sweet. The truth is, I fell for you back then and never stopped. Getting together with you was beyond my wildest dreams.”
“Wow.” Through the glow of hearing the fabulous Jade say those words, Sandy recalled the other word. “But you think I’m a heartbreaker?”
“Not intentionally. But it killed me to see you with this girl and that girl and know that I’d never get to have you. And then when you asked me to hook up, I was flabbergasted.”
“You acted so cool about it, though. Especially after, like nothing had even happened.”
“I wasn’t sure anything had. I mean, for you. How did I know? You’ve always seemed so straight. I couldn’t risk going after you and finding out it didn’t mean anything. Oh, and then there was that whole dropping-off-the- face-of-the-planet thing.”
“Yeah.” Sandy’s body buzzed. Jade had been into him for years? “And then when we reconnected… I mean, what about now? Do you still think I’m going to break your heart?”
“That… I don’t know. I hope not. You said you want to keep going with me, but you always have the option of being with a woman, and you can’t say it wouldn’t be easier.”
Sandy rubbed his forehead where the beginning of a headache threatened. “Um, yeah, it’s true it would be easier, but that doesn’t mean it’s what I want.”
“And then there’s Dare. You’re still hung up on him, right?”
“Actually, I don’t think I am. I think being with you helped me with that. It’s helped me with a lot of things.”
“Really?”
Talk about heartbreaking—the wistful hope in Jade’s tone almost made Sandy choke up. “Really. You don’t know how much it means, being able to talk with you every morning and every night.”
“For me too.”
“I want to keep going with you, Jade. I’m not afraid to be
with you. I don’t care what people think. The next time we’re together, I want Mrs. Carmichael to walk by so I can kiss you right in front of the old bag.”
Jade’s tinkling laughter was music to Sandy’s ears. “Oh my God. That would be epic! Okay. I want to keep going with you too. Let’s see where this leads us.”
“Good. Oh, and I have a proposition for you.”
“Umm, nice.” Jade had dropped into his sexy lower register.
“Not that kind. I talked to Uncle Phinney, and he’d like to invite you and your dad to come here for Christmas. Your uncle too, if he’d like.”
“Are you kidding?”
Sandy smiled at the joy in Jade’s voice. “Nope. He loved the idea, and he wants to send Jack and Pete the plane tickets and everything. He’s got loads of money and likes to spend it on making people happy.”
“Wow. Yes! Papa will probably fight Phinney about the tickets, though. He doesn’t have loads of money, just a boatload of pride. But he’ll come—I’ll make sure of that.”
“Awesome.”
Chapter Thirteen
Sandy ran up the steps to the condo and unlocked the front door. The late-afternoon sun barely lit the street, and the wind whipped his hair around.
Gloomy winter weather didn’t faze him, though. Two more days of classes and he got to go to Seattle! He wasn’t surprised Uncle Phinney wouldn’t let him drive the Mercedes. Something about insurance and all that. But he was springing for plane tickets, which was even better. The faster he got there, the more time he’d have to spend with Jade.
During one of their many phone calls, he’d asked, ever so lightly, about Jade’s plans for the weekend, to make sure Jade wasn’t going to be out of town and miss his own surprise. And it sounded like Jade would be around.
Sandy was unloading the contents of his book bag when the doorbell rang. He frowned. He hadn’t seen any Jehovah’s Witnesses around, and he couldn’t imagine who else would be ringing the bell. He ran out to the foyer and opened the door.
Dare Tyler stood on the other side, shivering in the frigid air.
“Dare? What the…?”
“Hey, Sandy.” Dare quirked his sideways smile, but it was a weak effort. Sandy did a double take at Dare’s ragged pants, the bandanna around his head, the patched-up backpack. He had a scraggly beard, and his hands were bare and reddened from the cold. It was like he’d been living on the streets. Maybe he had. When he began to list to one side, Sandy reached out a steadying hand.
“God, come in. What the hell happened to you? Where’ve you been?”
“Around. Thanks for letting me in, dude.”
“Um, sit down.” Sandy had a momentary qualm about Dare sitting on Uncle Phinney’s nice couch in his dirty pants, but figured Phineas wouldn’t mind if he saw the condition Dare was in. “What… I mean, it’s been months. I thought you were gone for good.”
Dare coughed and took out a pack of cigarettes, then seemed to realize where he was and put the cigarettes away. “Are Phinney and Cody out?”
“They’re on vacation until Christmas. In Ohio and DC.”
“Cool. So you got the place to yourself?” Dare hacked up what sounded like half a lung and pulled out a dirty rag to cough into.
“Yeah. Jesus, you look awful. Are you sick?”
“Naw. Just kinda out of it right now. I’ve been on the streets for a few nights.”
“Can I get you something? Hot tea? Something to eat? A shower?”
“’M okay. It’s good to be out of the cold.”
“I bet. But what happened? Don’t you have a place to live?”
Dare shifted and laid his head against the sofa like he was too weak to hold it up. “Not lately. I was down in Eugene with my pop, but he threw me out last week.”
“What happened to Wallace? I went by after you dropped out of sight and saw a For Rent sign.”
Dare lifted his head. “You came by?”
“Of course I did.” Sandy made an impatient movement. “You disappeared! I was afraid you’d been abducted or something. But then Zeb told me you moved away. Didn’t you get my messages? I left you, like, a ton!”
The trace of a smile appeared on Dare’s face. Then he yawned. “Oh man, I’m sorry. I haven’t slept in a long time. Yeah. I got rid of my phone after I quit my job. Couldn’t afford it. Wallace kind of kicked me out, and I decided I’d had it with Portland, so I went to Eugene. Didn’t work out, though.” He yawned again.
Sandy stood. “Let me get some tea started.” He walked away before he bopped Dare on the nose. “I’d had it with Portland.” Cool story, bro. I guess you’d had it with me too. Nice of you to tell me and all… not.
Then he had a memory of Jade yelling at him when they’d run into each other on the train. “Oh my God ! Sandy Nixon! I am so pissed at you! You just disappeared, like, poof!” None of this passive-aggressive stuff for Jade. He put it right out there.
And Sandy realized he was pissed at Dare. So pissed, he could barely see straight. He did an about-face and marched into the living room to have it out with him. Dare was fast asleep, snoring gently, his head lolled to one side. He seemed so young. He definitely seemed lost.
Sandy returned to the kitchen and put the kettle on, gazing around the bright and cozy space. Cody’s kitchen knives and special bowls lined the counter, along with his spice racks. A framed picture of Cody and Uncle Phinney making goo-goo eyes at each other sat on the shelf above the sink. The refrigerator held pictures of Sandy, and Da Beat in concert, and Uncle Phinney and Cody with their friends Bette and Aurora on the Fourth of July.
This is my home. Sandy sent up a prayer of thanks that he would never have to be homeless. Then he called Uncle Phinney.
“You need anything else?”
Dare’s blue eyes peered out at him from the sleeping bag Sandy had placed on the den couch. “No. Dude, thank you. I mean it. You’re doing me a huge solid.”
“No problem. We’ll talk more tomorrow. My first class isn’t until eleven, so we’ll have time in the morning.”
“Cool.”
“You sure you don’t want to take some cough syrup or something?
Or… I don’t remember all the stuff Uncle Phinney told me over the phone, but apparently he has a whole pharmacy in his medicine chest.”
Dare laughed, which turned into a horrible hacking cough. “God, don’t get me started. No, I’m good. Thanks.”
“Okay. Well… good night.”
“Night.”
Sandy went into his room, feeling unsettled. What if Dare was seriously ill? Uncle Phinney was worrying enough for all of them, telling Sandy the locations of urgent care centers and hospital emergency rooms, wondering if Dare could be on drugs and musing out loud about the nearest methadone clinic until Cody told him to chill out. The good thing was that neither of them had an objection to Dare staying at the condo until he could get back on his feet. That was the kind of awesome guys they were.
Then he thought about Jade, smiling again at the memory of Jade’s eyes flashing with anger. (Oh my God! ) He got out his phone and sent him a text.
Thank you for telling me exactly what you think.
He sighed and stretched out, and a minute later his phone buzzed. He perked up when he saw Jade’s name.
You’re welcome, I guess? I can be kind of a bitch, as you know. I hope you’re okay down there in Portlandia.
A few seconds later another text came through. I miss you. And that is exactly what I think.
Sandy called him.
“Sweet! I say I miss you and here you are.”
“Yep. I miss you too. And I have something to tell you.”
“Okay. What?”
“Dare Tyler showed up on my doorstep today.”
“What?”
“I know, right? After however many months?”
“So, what’s going on? Tell me everything. How is it for you to see him?”
“Weird. He’s in bad shape. He was living on the streets, I think.�
��
“Lord. Is that where he was all this time?”
“No, he was down in Eugene living with his dad, but his dad threw him out. And he said he never got in touch with me ’cause he didn’t have a phone.”
Jade snorted. “Okay, sure. Where’s he staying?”
“Um… with me. I mean, in the condo. In the den. He didn’t have anywhere else to go.” Sandy winced at the silence that ensued. “Jade?”
“Yes. I’m here. I’ll be honest, this is making me nervous. You sure you’re over him?”
“I think so. I’ve got some stuff I need to talk to him about, like the way it made me feel when he disappeared on me. But that’s all.”
“So, no burning desire? Nothing that’s going to make you rise from your bed and make a visit to the den in the middle of the night? ‘Dare… oh, my darling Dare, hold me!’”
“Shut up!” Sandy chuckled, relieved that Jade could make a joke.
“No, nothing like that. You’re the one I want to hold me.”
“Aww. Tell me more.”
Sandy settled in for some sweet talk with Jade, letting it soothe him from his worry about how the conversation with Dare was going to go in the morning.
Chapter Fourteen
Sandy stood in the kitchen putting together a sandwich to take to school for lunch. He’d heard Dare moving around in the den and then the toilet flush, and had put on the kettle for tea.
“Hey.”
Dare’s husky voice made Sandy turn. Dare stood with an uncertain look, like he wasn’t sure of his welcome. His eyes and nose were red, and he rubbed one hand over the other’s knuckles. Maybe they hurt. It reminded Sandy of Gran and her arthritis. Jeez, Sandy would never have thought Dare would remind him of an elderly person.
“Hey. Sit down. I’m making some tea. What do you want for breakfast? I’ve got eggs, toast, Pop-Tarts—whatever you want.”
Dare shuffled to the table and sat. “Some tea for now. Thanks.”
“No problem.” Sandy got busy making the tea, gearing himself up to have “the talk.”
“I’ll be out of your way after breakfast. I appreciate you putting me up last night.”
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