by Livia Ellis
Chapter 1
Marcus
From a short distance, Alejandro is still practically perfect in every way. Whether or not he retains that sublime charisma and almost laughable naivety that has been more attractive than his Adonis-like beauty, is an unknown. What is evident on this summer day with its mackerel sky and glistening humidity is that Alejandro is no less lovely than he was on the day he ceased being my lover.
It is across that stretch of Kentucky bluegrass, grown at an inconceivable expense under the equatorial sun, that I watch my former lover. Alejandro is on the back of a tight and svelte thoroughbred bay named Cassandra, which was a gift from me to him. As Alejandro puts Cassandra through her paces, I silently reminisce about the last time I laid eyes on him. That particular memory, which contains a large dose of bitterness and acrimony, doesn’t conjure feelings that match my mood on this sultry mid-summer morning. What makes me smile is thinking of the day of Alejandro’s twenty-fourth birthday. The day I gave him Cassandra. It’s been six months, but I remember every detail…
* * * *
We are in Argentina. Alejandro wants to show me his home. It’s January, but that’s summer in Argentina. Alejandro booked the tickets. He packed our bags. I don’t know why I resisted… Actually I do. The level of intimacy between us has passed to a point where we live our lives together. He knows what kind of jam I like on my toast and makes sure it’s always in the kitchen. This is not what I ever wanted in a relationship, but here I am. I have a man throwing out my threadbare T-shirts, and then claiming he has no idea where they’ve gone and buying me strawberry rhubarb jam.
He wanted to take me home. When he was eighteen, Alejandro became the sole beneficiary of his late parents’ estate. That estate includes the ranch in the foothills of the Andes, which has been in his family for hundreds of years. This is where we are to celebrate his birthday. Not just his birthday. Our first anniversary together. We were a couple, and celebrating anniversaries was one of those things he insisted we do. He won me over with the weather. Normally we live in Russia. The Russian January was pure misery. Summer in Argentina is practically heaven.
I wake that morning of his birthday to the feel of his mouth sliding a condom up my cock. When I’d first done the same to him, he’d laughed and applauded. Then he insisted on practicing on me until he could do it to perfection. This morning I’m awakened by a slow, wet suck. As my eyes open, I look down. His eyes meet mine.
He releases me for a moment to spread my thighs.
“It’s your birthday,” I whisper. My hand reaches up to run my fingers through his black hair. It needs a cut. His face needs a shave. This is how I like him best. He is so beautiful and so young that I can’t help remembering I am ten years older than him. “I should be sucking you.”
“It’s my birthday, Marcus. I get to do what I want.”
He lies between my legs. His mouth finds my cock again. There is nothing sexier than looking into a man’s eyes as he gives an award winning blow. Alejandro bobs his head up and down as he sucks me hard and deep into his throat. For a man that had never been with anyone before me, he has learned a lot and quickly. His lips wrap tightly around my shaft, and he uses just enough tongue on the tip to make me want to scream.
My dark haired lover releases my cock from his mouth and takes it with his hand. Butterfly kisses brush my stomach for a moment before he goes lower. His lips grab hold of my balls and draw them into his mouth as his hand continues to work me. I want this to last forever, and he isn’t pushing me toward an orgasm. He takes his time, which lets me savor the experience of being made love to.
One hand massages my cock and the other seeks out my entrance. When he finds it, I smile. His fingertip plays with the pucker of my anus, but he doesn’t penetrate me. Alejandro was a virgin the first time I had him, but I’ve learned the pure pleasure of patience from him. Sex doesn’t always have to be about racing to the finish. It’s about the journey to the orgasm more than actually coming.
He releases my balls from his mouth and retakes my cock between his lips. His head bobs up and down fucking me with his mouth. That teasing finger playing at my anus presses in past the hard ring of flesh. The slowly building orgasm takes control of my body. I want to come. He stops. This is a trick he learned from me. I almost wish I hadn’t taught it to him.
My arm props behind my head as I look at him kneeling back on his legs. His hands are on my thighs, massaging up and down. My cock points at the ceiling. He moves just enough to force my thighs apart a touch more.
“You’re handsome like this.” Those hands run up and down my thighs. “I like you in my bed.”
I smile. How am I this lucky? This beautiful man loves me. I’m better for his presence in my life. He tells me often I’m the only one for him. I truly want to believe him, but I can’t help wondering what he sees in me. I’ve spent a year observing both younger and better looking men trying to pry him away from me. He doesn’t ignore them. He laughs at them. He’s devoted to me. His heart is mine. It boggles my mind.
My gaze roams from his face down his body. His cock is just as hard as mine. He follows my gaze and looks up at me. He slides forward a bit so our cocks touch and rub against each other. He’s already wrapped in a condom. He woke me with a plan.
One hand grabs my cock and the other moves between my ass cheeks. This is a curious development. So far he hasn’t been wholly submissive, but he hasn’t exactly dominated me. It’s been more than a year since I’ve been bottomed. I hope this is the moment he takes that physical jump I’ve been waiting for. That wiggling fingertip finds its way to the entrance of my rear. I let him touch me. If that’s what he wants, then that’s what he can have.
“I have a plan for us,” he tells me. “For how I want us to spend the day.”
“Whatever you want,” I mumble. I’d give him the moon if I could. I used to think that was just a sentimental expression, but now I understand. Having someone worth giving the moon to makes a cliché understandable.
“Close your eyes.” His hands release me as my eyes slide shut. The weight of his body covers mine. Soft lips press against my mouth. A sweet, soft tongue slides between my lips. Hands brush my hair off my forehead. Teeth nip at my neck, and then at my ear. “I love you.”
My eyes open. “You love me?” I never thought I’d hear those words from him again.
How dumb am I? He told me he loved me once before. My response? Oh. Okay. Then I freaked out for a few days. When I was over the shock of realizing someone other than me loved me, and even more shocking that I loved him back, the I love you thing was just too awkward to revisit.
“I love you,” he says again. “I’m sorry it took me so long to say it again. I should have just ignored you when you freaked out after the first time I said it. Truthfully, I should have expected you to react like you did. I should have just kept on saying it until you got over being a jackass. You really are an infant sometimes when it comes to emotions. I love you. Deal with it.”
“It worries me how well you know me.”
“And?” He leans over me and looks into my eyes. “Say it. Say the words. It’s my birthday. I get what I want.”
“I love you.” It’s almost a relief to have the words come out. “I love you with all my heart.” I don’t want to stop saying it. It’s as if I’ve been released from a prison of my own making.
His lips attach to mine. His hands hold tight to me as he rolls over and pulls me on top of him.
“What else do you want for your birthday?” I reach down to his cock and stroke him gently.
“I want to be your one and only.”
“You are my one and only.” I kiss him again. My tongue runs along the line of his jaw. The prickles of his beard are rough and ting
le.
“I want to be exclusive. I want us to be a couple. I want a commitment.”
I could tell him I haven’t been with anyone other than him for months, but I know this isn’t what he wants. He wants to know we are one. That others may come and go, but he is the only one that owns my heart. “Just us. No one else. Unless of course you want to get a little freaky.”
He’s never been with a woman. The prospect intrigues him. He asks me about the parties, the orgies, the group sex, and the general sort of naughty hedonistic things I’ve gotten up to in my past. He wants me to arrange for him to be with a woman. Something different for us to do together. I want him all for myself, but I know a few women who would be happy to solve the mystery for him. I plan on keeping him to myself, but I fear he is getting antsy. If I don’t give him what he wants, then he might just go out and find it on his own. This terrifies me even more.
“You know I do,” he says. “But together. I want us to be together.”
“Okay. I love you. If that’s what you want…” I kiss him. “That’s what you get.” Perhaps in ten, twenty, or thirty thousand years.
“Good.” He spreads his legs completely out from under me and wraps his arms under his knees. His flexibility never ceases to amaze me. I know what he wants. He wants to look into my eyes as I enter him. That face to face intimacy I’ve only given him sparingly. This is the last barrier that has to be broken. My giving him all of me.
I look to the nightstand, and the lube waits where I left it last night. I grab it and squeeze a load onto my fingers. I lube up his hole with my swirling fingertips. He watches me. That grin curves his lips just so. He owns me and he knows it. I slide a finger inside and let it rest. I know where his prostate is as well as if it were my own. My free hand wraps around his cock. I stroke him gently. It’s not my goal to make him come. At least not at the moment.
“You’re teasing me.”
“Yes. Absolutely. I’m teasing you.” I slide the finger out just enough to add a second to his hole. I stroke in and out of him until I’m certain he’s relaxed enough to take me in without discomfort. I move up and place the tip of my cock at his waiting entrance. As I lean in to enter him, he tilts up his pelvis just a touch more. He pushes against me to meet my entry. When I’m fully seated inside him, he releases his arms from around his legs. That flexibility is something we’re going to have to explore a little more.
I pull out and then press in as slowly as I like. His arms reach around me and pull my ass cheeks apart. I want something inside me. He knows this without my having to say anything. He releases me and gets what I want. From the drawer next to the bed, he retrieves the dildo I normally use on him. It’s big enough, but not too big. Just like Alejandro. Some lube is slicked over its black surface before I feel the pressure of being filled. He turns it on and it vibrates ever so slightly. It’s a wonder I don’t come.
Our mouths meet along with our eyes. As I slide into him, he presses up to meet me, encouraging me to go faster. Between his insistence and the feel of the vibrations inside my anus, an orgasm builds. I move slightly so I can grab his cock and stroke him. I ride this high of pleasure for as long as I can. Our tongues wrestle. I reach the barrier of being able to just enjoy the pleasure and cross it over into release. I need to come, or I may just explode. Alejandro releases the dildo and places his hands against the sides of my face. He makes me look at him as I ejaculate inside him. I groan and sigh as I ride a wave of pure and intoxicating pleasure. When it passes, I’m elated. I’ve looked into the eyes of my lover as we’ve shared pleasure. There is no drug that could mimic the high the intimacy of making love to Alejandro gives me. I’m addicted to him.
“I love you,” I say without needing to be prompted.
He kisses me and rolls my body off him. I’ve never tied myself to having a preference for being a top or bottom. But with Alejandro, probably because he was a virgin the first time we were together, I’ve always been the top. He was very shy at first. I had to be patient and take my time with him, but gradually he’s become more daring. It seems as if he’s about to make another leap as his hands nudge me onto my knees. He kneels behind me. This is a first for us. I want him to enjoy it as much as I’m sure I will. Truthfully, he’s shy about being the aggressor, and I know this. I don’t want him to be spooked and not take a risk with me in bed again.
I press up and open myself to him. My knees are a good width apart to give him the access he’ll need. His hands fall on my ass cheeks and massage them. They make large circular movements, pushing me together, and then pulling me apart. He’s not half as gentle as I always assumed he’d be as a top. There’s some movement from behind as he stands from the bed. My cheeks are pressed wide open. The soft, silky texture of his tongue draws a line around the rim of my anus. It flicks, tickles, and caresses until I’m hard as stone.
My mouth hangs open and my heart pounds.
Alejandro works me with his tongue as his hand grabs my cock. He does to me what I’ve done to him. The pleasure of his fierce tonguing stops too soon for my liking. There’s a slight movement of the mattress. He kneels between my legs again as he grabs the lube. The feeling of the slick, cold jelly on my anus brings up a gurgle in my throat. His fingers work me rapidly. Perhaps a bit too rapidly. Sliding in and out and massaging the entrance until I relax and open for him. I’m ready for him. If he wants to start being on top, time and experience will be the best teachers. For the moment, the thrill of the newness of the experience is the most exciting thing of all.
“Okay?” I can hear the urgency in his voice.
I press toward him, opening up to receive him. That’s my answer. I’m more than ready.
The tip of his cock presses against me. He’s nervous. He’s never done this before, but I can tell he desperately wants to. “Go on,” I encourage him. “I want you in me.”
His hands hold my hips. With a slow and steady pressure, he enters me. Soft strangled cries are coming from his throat. He presses deep inside and slowly moves his hips ever so slightly. I could come again easily, but I pull back. It’s his turn. To help him along, I slide forward just a little as he pulls back. I press back against him as he comes forward. After a few thrusts in unison, I let him move on his own. He wants to dominate me. That won’t happen if I’m doing the work for him.
As he becomes more accustomed to the feeling of moving inside me, things go faster. He thrusts into me while using his hands on my hips to pull me harder against him. He’s just rough enough for both of us. The feeling of his balls slapping and brushing against mine is too much to ignore. I forgot how much I enjoy being a bottom. I’ve reached that plateau where pleasure can be prolonged. Not indefinitely, but at least for a little while.
“I’m going to come,” he sighs. His hips jerk and thrust. “Marcus, I’m going to come,” he repeats.
I grab my cock with my hand and pump it vigorously. I’m close to the edge as it is. I only need to hear the sound of his climax arriving to find my own. I press up against him as a load of hot spunk shoots through my fingers, dripping onto the sheets below. From behind, Alejandro cries out as he presses and twitches inside me. When he’s spent, he leans forward and kisses my neck, back, and shoulders.
“Don’t pull out. Not yet.” I slide forward on the bed, keeping him inside me. When I lie flat on my stomach, he stretches out prone on my back. His spent cock rests inside me. This is heaven. I’m sure of it.
“Was that good?” he whispers. “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.”
I reach for his fingers. I bring them to my lips. “That was perfect. Just like you are.”
* * * *
I hadn’t woken that morning intending on giving him Cassandra, but that’s how these things happen. They take you by surprise, these unexpected gestures of love. I don’t regret the gift for a second. As I stand here watching him ride her, I still don’t regret it. The only thing I regret is breaking the promise of fidelity I made. I didn’t trust that he loved
me enough for me to let him have his fun. I hurt so much I’m convinced my heart really did break.
“You look so sad,” a small mournful voice says without mocking.
I keep my forearms propped on the white fence which rings the green patch of Kentucky bluegrass. The lawn makes up the polo pitch used by Sheik Ibn Al Hassan’s private team.
“Go away.” At first I don’t bother to look in the direction of my uninvited companion. If I’d been blindfolded, I would have known Olga. Beautiful, black haired Olga with her glass blue eyes and somewhat surgically enhanced nose.
It isn’t the miasma of amber and musk perfume that could fumigate a room, nor is it the jangle and clank of enough shiny baubles to make a magpie go apoplectic. It isn’t even her Russian-accented English that defines Olga. It is neither the sound nor the scent of Olga that would be telling, but rather her energy. I am not prepared to give up a firm grip on my skepticism, but there is an aura to Olga that is unmistakable.
“Why are you cross with Olga?” she asks. “I tell you already. Is not my fault! You are the naughty little fibber. Olga is not the naughty little fibber!”
“Must you speak of yourself in the third person? It’s irritating.” My waspishness isn’t truly directed at Olga. Her only crime is in wanting to help. That her help often leads me down the road to perdition is a fact. If not so far as hell, it has for certain brought me heartbreak.
“I knew it.” Olga sighs. “You still blame me. I said I am sorry. I bought you a car.”
At last I glance down at my slender, black-haired beauty of a friend, and she looks up at me with her big eyes. She has truly never intentionally harmed me. I find it in my heart to forgive her. I am incapable of remaining angry at her. I would be as capable of remaining angry at her as I would be any lover that unintentionally caused me grief. The consolation prize I received in exchange for the loss of the only person I’ve ever loved in my life has been a car. I know love has changed me when a three hundred thousand dollar car is suddenly poor compensation for Alejandro. The old Marcus, the man I was before Alejandro, would have gladly traded a relationship for a silver convertible with Bordeaux leather interior and a walnut burl dashboard. The Marcus I’ve become with Alejandro has learned the value of love.