by Maven, Ella
Crife feigned interest for a while in their activities, but soon grew bored. He wandered around the ship, dragging his claws on the floor while Meri fussed at him. I watched Rian for a little, my cora swelling for her as she worked so hard to make York happy. She would have made a great mother, and the thought made my throat tight.
I walked to Crife’s side where he poked around at some of the weapons and personal items we’d taken off the Pliken bodies. I crouched at his side, and he glanced at me with a small smile. As he shifted a spare cape and a laser gun came into view, his clawed hand paused.
I remembered when we’d been held in the hull, and Crife had managed to hit a Pliken dead between the eyes. A hunter, he’d said with awe when Rian suggested it. “So,” I picked up the laser gun, and saw it wasn’t charged. Good thing we had a sun simulator as these were solar charged. “We can’t hunt anything in here unless York wants to volunteer, but I can set something up and you can practice your aim.”
Crife’s head turned slowly as his round eyes bulged. “You would do that?”
“Sure. I bet Meri would help me set it up, wouldn’t you, Meri?”
She squeaked and flapped her wings as she clapped her front paws.
“See?” I said to Crife. “Let me charge a few guns and we’ll do some target practice.”
And that was how York’s plant and Crife’s guns found a little home together under their solar light. Later, Meri did in fact help me set up some targets down in the hull. Crife spent many yoras down there shooting at the targets I’d set up for him with a point system. I explicitly told him where not to aim so he didn’t blow a hole in the side of the ship.
He happily reported to Rian every night before he went to sleep how many points he’d achieved, while York let her know on the seventh rotation that a sprout had burst from the dirt. We celebrated that by breaking out the rations we’d been saving—a bag of hard sweets.
It was easy to lose track of time in space, but the ship had an alert that let us know when it was time to sleep. Rian was what she called a “night owl” and preferred to sit in the pilot chair of the cockpit, her bare feet propped up on the panel, while she gazed out into space. That night after we’d celebrated York’s sprout, she sucked on the rest of what she called “candy.”
I sat down beside her in the darkened cockpit. The hilbobs and Meri were asleep in their quarters and it was just us and the silence of the drifting ship.
“This is good and all,” she said, popping a small square in her mouth. “Tastes kind of like butterscotch, but I could really use some chocolate.”
I propped my feet up on the panel too and braced my wrists on my knees. “What’s chocolate?”
“It’s sweet and creamy. It’s…” she sighed. “Nothing can really describe chocolate.” She shot me a sad smile. “Guess I’ll never taste it again, so this’ll have to do.” I wanted to say I’m sorry, but she yelled at me when I did, so I chose to remain silent. “Do you think about the Pit?” she asked after a moment of silence.
The question surprised me. “The Pit?”
She rolled her head on the backrest of the chair to face me. “Yeah. Do you regret not destroying it?”
I let out a short of laughter. “Funny you mentioned it because it truly hadn’t crossed my mind.”
“Really?”
“Truly,” I fixated on a star in the distance. “Destroying it wouldn’t have changed anything, and I’m not sure why I thought it would. You’re right that ending those lives deliberately would have permanently stained me. I wish… I wish I hadn’t spent so much anger on that place.”
“It’s okay to be angry,” she said. “And I understand why you are. But I’m also glad you made the decision to spit in the face of all the Pit stood for and choose a future.”
“Even one drifting through space?”
She laughed. “Even one drifting through space.” She leaned back in her chair and I reached across to take her hand.
Every night when we retired to the furs, she pulled me against her and let me inside of her body. Sometimes in the morning too. Those moments with her were the best times of my life. When it was just us… when we were us. “But you’re here with me, mate, so it’s not so bad.”
She squeezed my hand and closed her eyes. She was quiet for a moment before straightening in her chair with a grimace. “So, there’s something I have to tell you.”
I nodded, a little wary of her tone.
“Human women… we…” she cleared her throat and started again. “I have my period. Which means I’m bleeding.”
I sat up and dropped my boots to the floor with a thunk. “You’re what? Where?”
“From…” her mouth opened and closed before she swallowed and gestured between her legs. “From my vagina.”
I stood up so abruptly, I got lightheaded. “What?”
“Sit down and stop shouting.”
“You’re bleeding!”
“I know, and it’s normal.”
“It’s normal to bleed?”
She rubbed her forehead. “I already have a headache, cramps, and I’m bloated all while being stuck on a spaceship with no proper sanitary products, chocolate, or Advil. Please stop yelling and sit down.”
She looked a little scary as her green eyes fired at me, so I did what she asked and sat down.
She took a deep breath. “This is normal. We bleed every four weeks if we aren’t pregnant. I’m not by some miracle since you likely are very virile, so I’m bleeding. It’ll last for like five days. And I’m sorry but sex is the last thing on my mind when I’m bleeding, okay?”
“What can I do?” I felt panicky. “I’d make you chocolate if I could.”
She smiled. “I believe it.” She rose and pressed a hand to her back. “I could really go for a back rub.”
I pointed at my chest. “You want me to rub your back?”
Grabbing my hand, she pulled me to my feet. “Come on, let’s make it an early night. I’ll teach you how to rub me right.”
We walked to our room with my arm around her shoulders as I nuzzled her ear. “I thought I already knew how to rub you right.”
“Cool it, Romeo.”
I frowned with suspicion. “Who’s Romeo?”
Her laugh preceded us into our room.
* * *
Rian
Time passed slow at first, then fast as hell. Our supplies seemed infinite until the piles dwindled, and we had to get more serious about food rationing. All the while we drifted through space in our makeshift home, pretending we wouldn’t eventually have to make the decision to starve or end our lives quicker.
York’s plant turned out to be a flower, a pretty purple bud that blossomed under his attentions. I think we were all sad it wasn’t some sort of food source, but I hadn’t been hopeful one seed could be enough for all of us to live on indefinitely either.
Time was hard to keep track of, but I tried by marking every time the night alarm went off with scratches on the wall above our bed. One morning I sat on the furs cross-legged, feeling more drowsy than usual and a little nauseous. Mikko had noticed immediately and dashed off to get me some hot brewed drink with what resembled tea bags among the supplies.
I stared at the markings, because something was firing in my brain that urged me to make sense of how I was feeling. I counted the marks and when I hit forty-five, I frowned. Forty-five days. My hand fluttered to my stomach as realization dawned.
Of course, I’d always known this would be a possibility, but the real knowledge I could be carrying Mikko’s baby was heart-wrenching. It made sense though. I’d gotten my period once since we’d been on this ship, about five to seven days after we took control. Forty-five minus seven was… thirty-eight. Which meant… I should have had my period again. Of course, I couldn’t be sure of time, but I’d been eating fine. I hadn’t lost weight. I felt pretty well otherwise…
I closed my eyes as my heart twisted. I’d come to terms with the fact that my future would be s
hort but knowing I was making the decision of another life… one I wanted. There was no doubt in my mind that if we were safe and surrounded by a community of Drix, I’d have shouted from the rooftops with excitement to be pregnant. But now? Now I felt nothing but sorrow.
The door opened, footsteps padded across the room and then the furs depressed as Mikko sat beside me. I opened my eyes as the smell of the tea floated below my nose. Mikko’s expression was full of concern and love. We hadn’t said any words of declaration to each other because it wasn’t necessary. Every day, I felt how much he loved me in my own mind.
I took the mug from him and sipped the hot brew. “Thank you.”
“Is your stomach feeling any better?” His hand reached out and rubbed my belly. I flinched at his touch—the thought of a baby still too raw—and he jerked his hand away as if he’d been burned. “What is it?”
Stalling, I drank some more. “Still a little queasy.”
He tilted his head and studied me. “There’s something else.” His purple eyes softened with concern and he tucked a lock of unruly hair behind my ear. “You seem troubled.”
“Just from not feeling well.”
“You sure?”
I couldn’t tell him about the baby. There was nothing he could do, and it would tear him apart knowing he couldn’t save us. I refused to let him die with that on his conscious. So, I’d take it all on mine. I felt like it was the least I could for him as the love of my life. I smiled and patted his hand. “Fine. I think I’m going to rest some more.”
He didn’t seem convinced. And of course, he wasn’t. He could probably tell I was conflicted about something, but he didn’t push. After I finished the tea, he took the empty cup from me and helped me snuggle down under the furs. His movements were careful as he handled me like I was precious.
Drawing the fur up to my chin, he pressed a soft kiss to my temple. “York and Crife are making an obstacle course for Meri. They asked me for some help, but I can tell them another time if you want me to stay with you.”
I shook my head. “Go, I’ll be boring just sleeping.”
“But what if you—?”
“Mikko, it’s just an upset stomach. I probably ate something wrong. Go. Meri could use the exercise.”
He sighed. “All right. Holler if you need anything.”
“You know I will.”
After another kiss to my forehead, he left and shut the door behind him. For the last few days, I’d had a headache, a fullness I chalked up to Mikko’s growing emotions about the dwindling of our rations, but now that I concentrated on myself a little more, I realized the feeling wasn’t due to Mikko. I felt… the life. The baby. The emotions weren’t fully formed yet, but nonetheless they were there, an ambiguous space that would eventually be filled by my child. That was how I knew my suspicions were confirmed. I was pregnant.
Alone in the room with my stomach bloated and queasy, I let the tears fall. For Mikko, for me, for York, Crife, and Meri, and most of all for the life growing in me.
* * *
I woke with a jolt and rubbed my head, disoriented to find myself on the ground next to the bed platform. Had I fallen out? When I tried to stand, I realized the cargo ship was shuddering beneath my feet. A loud shout sounded from outside the room a second before the door flew open and Mikko raced inside.
This wasn’t the Mikko I’d lived with for the last forty-five days. This was Mikko the warrior. His eyes were dark, his machets were vibrating, and the colors on his skin shifted rapidly. Behind him, Meri screeched and squawked as she circled the main cabin of the ship.
“Are you okay?” His voice was garbled with anger.
“I’m fine, just fell out of bed. What’s going on?”
He swallowed and clenched his jaw. “We’re being boarded.”
My blood froze in my veins. “We’re being boarded? By who?”
“Plikens. A cruiser has attached to our loading dock. They don’t need permission to board. The systems are connected.”
“Mikko,” I could barely get his name out as fear chilled my vocal cords. “I can’t… we… you can’t let them take me.” I rushed to his side and gripped his hand. Pulling his forearm to my neck, I touched his spikes to the soft skin under my chin. “You have to do it.”
His nostrils flared. “I can’t kill you.”
“You have to,” I pleaded with him.
“I won’t let them take you. I’ll defeat every Pliken the comes on this ship.”
“But what if they overpower you?”
“I won’t—”
Panic welled up my throat. “Mikko, you don’t understand, they cannot take me.”
He opened his mouth to argue, but suddenly stopped and leaned closer. His eyes searched my face. “What’s going on, my little warrior?”
This changed everything. He had to know. “I’m pregnant,” I whispered.
Mikko jerked as if he’d been struck. His body swayed and his hand slipped from my grasp as he went down like a tree in a forest. His knees hit the ground and he would have pitched forward on his face if I didn’t drop down to keep him upright. “Mikko,” I whispered just as the ship shuddered again and the ship’s communication system said, “Cargo 440, prepare to be boarded.”
“Mikko, please,” I begged as he blinked unseeing at the floor. “They can’t take me. They cannot get their hands on our child. You have to do this.”
His gaze lifted to mine. I’d seen him fight with everything he had. I’d seen him shot with laser fire in the leg. I’d seen him scale a hundred-foot wall with me as a burden. But I’d never seen pain in his eyes like I saw now. “How can I kill my mate and child?” he whispered the words in a voice wracked with agony.
A sob bubbled up my throat. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
He wrapped me in his arms and his hand palmed the back of my neck as I wept into his chest. “Don’t say you’re sorry. Don’t ever say you’re sorry. You gave me the best rotations of my life, Rian. Because of you, I know what happiness is. Don’t apologize for that.”
“What are we going to do?” I gripped his shoulders as I heard the hilbobs race across the floor of the ship. They threw themselves into our room with Meri and slammed the door shut just as the step of boots could be heard entering the cabin of the ship.
Sniffling, I reached down and once again placed his spikes at my throat. “Now, Mikko,” I whispered as I stared into his pain-filled eyes. “Now. Please. Before it’s too late.”
Fifteen
Mikko
This pain was excruciating. I felt it down to my bones. I couldn’t look away from Rian’s pleading eyes. The hilbobs trembled as they held onto each other while the footsteps outside walked with a slow, measured pace.
My machets pressed into her skin, right over the vein in her neck that pulsed her lifeblood. My chit’s lifeblood. Right now, her body was feeding the life we had created together—the future of my race. With the death of our females, I never thought I’d have one of my own, especially after my body was used as an experiment.
And now, Fatas was playing a cruel trick. Why would she give us this gift when I had to make the decision to end it? What had I done to deserve this? But Rian was right. The Plikens could not get their hands on her or the chit in her belly.
“It’s okay,” she whispered as she gently pulled on my hand to pierce her skin. Tears spilled down her cheeks. “I love you, Mikko.”
“State your race and purpose!” A deep voice called from the other side of the door.
Rian let out a sob just as the tip of my claw drew a bead of blood on her pale neck.
“Who’s there?” the voice called again.
I curled my other hand into a fist just as a thought cut through the murkiness of my mind. That voice… he spoke in… he spoke Drixonian.
I yanked my hand away from Rian, and she let out a cry of distress as I leaped to the door. “Who are you?” I called out, not willing to open the door quite yet. “Why did you board this ship?”
/>
“I saw your drifting cruiser and ran the thermal imaging radar. The readings came back showing five living beings, but none fit a Pliken description.” His voice drew closer to the other side of the door. “I am Trawn Warinks, former captain in the Drixonian space fleet.” He cleared his throat. “She is all.”
My legs nearly gave out as I thew open the door. Standing in the narrow hallway was a large Drixonian, older than me, with long dark hair tied at the nape of his neck. Gold studs pierced his ears. Speechless, I could only stare at him.
His eyes softened a fraction as he took me in. Then he nodded with a small smile. “Hello, warrior.”
Small hands gripped the waistband of my pants, and Rian’s head peeked around my side. Her eyes went wide as she took in the Drixonian in front of us. Larger than me, his presence took up nearly the whole cargo ship. When he caught sight of her, his smile dropped. I instinctively curled my body around hers.
“Where did you find this human?” he barked.
“In the Pit,” I said through gritted teeth. “She is my mate.”
His gaze dropped to my wrists, and then the tension left his muscles as he held up his own arms. He also bore marks, but the pattern was different. I frowned. “You—?”
“I have my own human female mate who I rescued from Vixlicin.”
Rian gasped. “Another woman?” The hope in her voice made her sound like a chit.
Trawn nodded at her. “She will be happy to meet you.” His gaze drifted to me. “You can put away your machets now. It’s only me and my mate.” He made to turn around.
“I can’t,” I gritted out.
He froze mid-turn and glanced at me over his shoulder. He took me in from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. “The Uldani?” he queried.
I nodded.
His mouth dropped open and he spun back to me. His hand latched onto the back of my neck, and at first, I resisted the touch. I didn’t know him, and while I knew I should give deference to my elder, I’d never been what one would call openly friendly. But when our foreheads touched, and he said in a soothing rumble. “You’re safe now, brother,” I could do nothing but sink into his greeting. I’d carried the weight of our short future on my shoulders since I met Rian, and it felt good to hear someone else tell me I could rest.