by MJ O'Neill
“We need McPhee Security to have access to the morgue. You partly sold this whole plan as your boyfriend helping you clear your good name,” DC added.
“We didn’t sell it as just that,” I said.
“No, the other half of the argument we made was that he’s a security expert with deep pockets who you just happen to be close to. Don’t you think the other board members who helped push our remodel plan funded by one Burns McPhee and Ingenisys are going to ask you about him? Make sure it’s all legit? They’re already worried you’re on the take.”
“Plus, we’ll be starting in on the main security installation and getting ready for the party soon. It will look weird if you two aren’t at least comfortable,” Neutron chimed in.
“I agree with both of them,” Flynn said to McPhee while pointing at Neutron and DC. “You know how I hate that.”
“Besides the fact that she has an unhealthy attachment to shoes, what else is there to know?” Burns teased.
“You should have an origin story,” DC said.
“I don’t suppose we can tell people we met at Invasion of the Body Snatchers,” Burns said with a smirk.
“You need to know each other’s favorite color,” DC added, exasperation growing in his voice.
“Is camouflage a color?” I asked Burns, joining in the teasing.
“And who leaves the cap off the toothpaste when you stay overnight,” DC yelled in a last gasp.
I spurted my water.
“Oh no, don’t you look at me like that, Ms. I’m-on-the-rebound-and-all-men-suck. I will not have my security compromised because you two can’t swap a first grade All About Me book.”
DC could be rather over the top. It was part of his charm. At times like this, when he had latched on to something, he could also be as strong and stubborn as a mule.
“Fine,” I conceded. “We’ll find time for a ‘getting to know you’ date.”
“In the meantime, we’ve caught a break on Chentinko’s getaway van,” Burns said, standing. “Gear up.”
“What kind of break?” I asked.
“Owner of the chop shop we tracked the van to is an old friend.”
Neutron and Flynn loaded the SUV with supplies, and we all climbed in. We drove for several miles into a more industrial part of town and turned in to the driveway of a large multi-door garage. One of the doors floated halfway open, but we didn’t try to drive in. Instead, everyone got out of the SUV in the driveway.
The inside of the garage was much larger than I had anticipated. It was a long, deep square and much cleaner on the inside than outside. Several cars in the center sat in various states of dismantling. The whirring of power tools filled the space. Two guys were working on a shiny black Lexus with missing doors. Another guy was under a sporty BMW. To the right stood a square folding table with four guys engrossed in a card game. Stairs in the back led to a second-floor glassed-in office.
Off to the far left side, I spied the white cargo van that the corpse-napper had jumped into with my body. I gasped, causing the four men at the card table to quickly turn to me.
“A little early to be cheating at cards, ain’t it, guys?” Flynn asked.
“This is a private garage,” said a large black man in a gray sweatshirt that had the arms cut off, his muscles bulging and an air of confidence about him as he sized up our numbers. He wore a Chicago Cubs cap.
“Anyone who roots for the Cubs doesn’t deserve any privacy,” Flynn replied. There weren’t many things that St. Louisans agreed on, but hating the Cubs was one of them.
“For someone who’s trespassing on private property, you’re awfully mouthy,” the man said, leaning back in his chair, apparently trying to decide what to do about us, Flynn’s confidence causing him some uncertainty.
“Now, Flynn. It’s not nice to insult our hosts. Go get your boss,” Burns said to the skinny guy who had crawled out from the Lexus and was quietly approaching us from the side.
I was happy the man went without any questions. Burns, Flynn, and even Neutron all seemed calm, but I wasn’t so sure about all of this.
“There’s no reason to be all twitchy, guys. We’re all friends here,” he added.
I was glad to see he wasn’t letting the situation get out of hand. These guys were scary.
“So, while we’re killing time, how’s the body-snatching business treating you?” Burns asked.
So much for not pushing the situation.
Everyone tensed, but before anyone could answer, two men descended the back stairs, the one from the Lexus and another man. The new addition to the group was of medium build, a little stocky, slightly older, and had bits of gray in his dark hair. He was clean-shaven and better dressed than the others in his tan slacks and sport shirt. The group parted to allow him to the front of the circle.
“You entertaining company on work time now, Nathan?” the new man asked the muscle man in a measured voice, his eyes never leaving Burns.
“They want information on transporting dead bodies.”
“Oh, is that right?” A big smile came across the new man’s face, still fixated on Burns.
“I had to let Flynn play with them a little,” Burns said, also smiling. The new man and Burns embraced in a man hug, which didn’t look like much of a hug because it involved a lot of backslapping, but the action did lower the tension in the room.
“Last I’d heard, you’d gotten your ass kicked by a bunch of Arabs and were still looking for payback,” the man said.
“We’re about even now,” Burns said, stepping back. “It’s been a long time, Duff.”
“Not so long you’ve forgotten how to make an entrance. Flynn, how goes it?” Duff asked, nodding toward our group.
“No complaints.”
“Since when do you run with women?” Duff asked, pointing at me.
“It’s a long story.”
“Still taking in strays, I see,” Duff said with a big grin.
“I’m not a puppy,” I answered, crossing my arms in a huff.
“Back to work, you candy-asses,” Duff ordered, and his men began to return to the cars. He led us to the card table, and we sat down. Neutron and Flynn kept a distance.
“How’s your ma?” Duff asked Burns, somewhat sheepishly.
“I would have thought you’d been burned enough by that flame,” Burns replied with a chuckle. “She’s doing okay.”
I knew he’d said she was Bohemian, but still, I was surprised that Burns’s mom had dated a car thief.
“Bet she’s glad to have you back home in one piece. I thought she turned crazy when you were runnin’ cars for me, but that was nothing compared to how nuts she went when you left for Afghanistan.”
“I appreciated you looking out for her while I was gone.”
“Wait, you stole cars?” I asked.
“Best key charmer I had,” Duff replied.
Burns actually blushed but tried to cover it by straightening in his chair.
“What’s a key charmer?” I asked.
“With all the new tech, you can’t steal a car with a screwdriver and a rubber band anymore. You have to boost the key if you want the thing to drive,” Burns answered.
“We usually set up fake valet stations or search lines, but with Burns, we didn’t bother, as long as the owner was female.”
“Some women find me compelling,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows at me.
“Ha! You’re lucky you didn’t get caught, although statistically, car thieves are the least likely of all criminals to serve any time,” I replied.
“Anyway, what brings you looking for bodies, Burns?” Duff’s expression turned serious.
“Gillian,” he answered with some force, and Duff absorbed it, looking down at the table, quiet for a while as if that one word conveyed all he needed to hear.
“If I’d known it was connected, I’d have come to you. You have to know that,” Duff said, almost apologetically.
“How’d you end up with a gig like that, anyw
ay? That’s not really your style,” Burns asked.
“See the skinny guy over there?” Duff pointed at a young guy bent over a car. “He’s new. About two months ago, his first night out, he goes out with Joey and Nathan. They decide he’s doing fine, so they left him by himself. Figured they’d turn more cars that way. Before anyone knows what’s happened, Louie Fingers’s new bright-blue Trans Am is sitting in my bay.”
“Louie Fingers?” Burns asked.
“You’d think the kid wouldn’t be stupid enough to go shopping at the mob’s favorite restaurant.”
“No one told him to stay off the Hill?”
“Apparently not.”
“What’d you do?” Burns asked
“I put on my best apologetic face, marched into Manny Guido’s like I owned the place, and returned the car to Nino Marino myself. In return for the favor, he promised Louie Fingers wouldn’t kill me. What else could I do? I explained the kid was new and dumb and that I’d educate him.”
“You’re lucky you’re alive.” Burns laughed.
“Extremely lucky. A couple of days ago, three mean-ass-looking Russians show up telling me Marino’s calling in his favor.”
“Russians? Since when does the Family mix with Russians?”
“My thoughts exactly, but their story checked out. A body they wanted had been picked up by the cops before they’d had a chance to dispose of it.”
“So that’s why they stole her from the morgue,” I said.
“They didn’t want the coroner to get it, and they didn’t want anyone knowing the Family’s involvement. I was supposed to call in an anonymous tip to the mayor’s office that some chick in the morgue took a bribe and stole the body.”
“As part of the original instructions?” I asked.
“Yeah. After leaving the call, I was supposed to pick up the Russians with both bodies and take them wherever they wanted to go.”
“Both bodies?” I asked.
“He means you and Joy,” Burns replied.
I was overwhelmed by the thought that I could actually be someone worth killing.
“No shit? You’re the morgue chick? I thought I recognized you from somewhere,” Duff said.
“Less than ten percent of all employees working in a morgue are female. I’m an anomaly.”
“You can say that again. They mostly spoke Russian, but I gotta tell ya, it was a little creepy. One of ’em had all kinds of pictures of you.” He pointed at me. “Looked like he’d been following you for a while.”
“Did he say what they wanted with her?” Burns asked.
“No. Just to bring her alive and be prepared to take care of her when they were done.”
That made everyone go tense.
“Uh, sorry,” Duff said, looking at me. “They said the plan changed because you had company.”
“That would have been me,” Burns said.
“Good thing you don’t have a hero complex or anything.” Duff grinned. When Burns didn’t look amused, Duff continued, “We dropped the Russians and the body in the West End. I’ll get you the address, but they’re likely long gone.” He got up from the table. “But Burns, these are nasty guys. You two be careful.”
“Thanks, Duff. I appreciate it.”
We got the address from Duff and headed to the SUV.
“Why don’t the Russians and the Family mix?” I asked.
“Oh!” Neutron’s eyes grew wide. “The Italians and the Russians don’t like each other.”
“Russians working with the Family? Great,” Flynn said. “This just keeps getting better and better.”
Burns sat silent, texting on his phone.
“When are we going to the address of the Russians?” I asked.
“We aren’t. Right, Burns?” Flynn said, clearly still miffed that I existed.
“You don’t just stroll in and find a body at the Russians’. We need to do some surveillance first,” Neutron added.
Before Neutron had even stopped the car, Burns jumped out and opened my door. After I got out, Burns closed the door behind me. A single look from him had Neutron and Flynn heading upstairs, leaving the two of us alone in the garage. He started pacing, his body rigid.
“You’re upset,” I said.
“They had your body bag picked out.” Burns stopped pacing and turned to me. “Do you think for a moment any of the people we’re dealing with would bat an eye at slitting your throat and tossing you aside like yesterday’s trash?”
My head spun from the enormity of it all. I could feel the toll the last few months had exacted. The initial chaos surrounding my dad’s arrest was followed by the realization that my whole identity might be a fraud, and I was now the target of a madman. The life I had worked so carefully to put into neat little boxes had spun out of my control. My head pounded.
“It’s nice to know you care.” I smiled, trying to lighten the mood. It wouldn’t do either of us any good to turn maudlin.
“Yeah, well, maybe I’m growing a little fond of all your froufy shoes,” Burns said, smiling back.
“There’s one thing I can’t figure out,” I said. “Why would anyone want a dead body so much that they would call in favors to steal her? If she’s not the girl you’re looking for who was working with Gillian, who’s the dead girl, and why do they want her? Maybe it’s just a coincidence that she’s a prostitute.”
“I suppose it’s possible, but it doesn’t seem likely. One thing’s for sure, something’s not right here. The mob isn’t this sloppy. They don’t off prostitutes in a serial killing spree, and they don’t lose bodies. They don’t stalk witnesses and send flowers.” Burns rubbed the back of his neck and pulled his hand through his hair. “Plus, he had pictures of you. Lots of pictures. Before you were even involved in this, Chentinko had surveillance on you.”
“Which leads us back to my dad and what’s actually going on with him.”
“Maybe. Maybe it’s as simple as Duff said, that they think you found something on the girl and tipped me off. Either way, you’re not safe.” He spoke calmly but forcefully.
“I’m not completely helpless, ya know. I’ve had three years of self-defense training.”
“Which will not serve you very well when someone’s holding a gun or a knife on you.” Burns blew out a big breath he seemed to have been holding for a while. He took out his phone and started texting. “Okay, I know where this ‘getting to know you’ date of ours is going to be.”
“You do?”
“I do, and no shoes with pointy heels.”
AT THE CURB, NEUTRON and Flynn waited in the front seat of the SUV. I slid into the back. Flynn grunted what I assumed was the closest thing to a pleasantry that I was ever going to get from him.
“Hey, this isn’t the way to the range, moron. Where are you going?” Flynn asked.
“We’re making a detour,” I said. I had texted Neutron last night about needing to pick up DC, who was dealing with his own tragedy.
“Oh no,” Flynn said, raising his voice upon realizing where we were heading. “We are not letting that freak show get anywhere near me and a gun.”
“Have a heart. DC needs the distraction. His girlfriend broke up with him.”
“I thought this was supposed to be ‘getting to know you’ time for you and Burns,” Flynn said.
“We’re doubling. You can decide whether your partner is DC or Neutron,” I said with a smile.
Neutron pulled into the driveway of Momma Claiborne’s. DC had spent the night there because he didn’t want to be alone in his hour of need. Apparently, when Kimi found out about Momma’s house getting shot up, she said that between being a marked woman and the psycho kitties, they couldn’t live together anymore. Sitting on the porch, DC’s momma held tissues in one hand and iced tea in the other. She seemed fairly emotional.
“Oh, Miss Kat, have you heard the terrible news? I’m never going to get grandbabies now,” she said and sniffed into her tissue.
“DC’s quite a catch, Momma Claibo
rne. I’m sure he’ll find someone to settle down with soon. Maybe he should try a dating service.”
“You mean like one of those internet porno magnets?”
“There are classy ones too.”
“He says he’s too depressed to meet anyone new, that he’ll never love again.”
“It’s still a fresh wound. I’m sure it will fade in time. Going shooting should help.”
“You’re such a good friend. As soon as you invited him, he started feeling better. Of course, he didn’t have anything to wear shootin’, so he had to go shoppin’.”
DC emerged clad head to toe in black leather. His boots looked like rejects from Army surplus and didn’t quite seem to fit him right. He had to step very high and pronounced in order to move his feet forward. His leather pants were most likely women’s. There was no way he could have found man pants that small. He topped off his outfit with a biker jacket, which made him look like he could pass for one of the Harley guys from the River Road, as long as they looked at him only from the waist up.
When DC opened the car door, I jumped out and gave him a big consoling hug.
“Hurry the hell up. You can do social hour on the way,” Flynn snapped.
DC tried to climb into the SUV. It took a bit because he couldn’t bend in the pants, and the boots were so clunky he could barely lift them into the car.
“What the hell are you wearing?”
“Isn’t it fabulous? Even Momma thought I looked badass. Don’t I look badass, Kat?”
“The only one who thinks you look like a threat is the cow who wasted its poor life so you could wear that ridiculous thing,” Flynn answered.
“I can’t believe you said that to me,” DC said with an almost sob. “I’ve been through a horrible ordeal. You should have more compassion.”
“Flynn wouldn’t know compassion if it bit him in the ass,” Neutron chimed in. “I’m terribly sorry for your loss, DC. I brought you White Castle,” he said and handed a bag into the back seat.
“For me? You did that for me? Now that’s true friendship. See, that’s what family’s all about. I bet he wouldn’t leave me just because my cat peed in his ostrich briefcase or because a bunch of mobsters showed up and tried to kill me. No, sir. He’d buy me a treat, that’s what he’d do.”