“Ainsley. You safe?
She came downstairs fully then, the spotlights and flashing lights from the front yard casting shadows over her face. Her eyes narrowed on his arm. “You’re bleeding, so I guess I need to be the one asking that question.”
He looked down at the cut on his arm and shook his head. “It’s shallow, doesn’t even need stitches. Stay where you are. There’s glass and pieces of wood all over the floor, and I don’t want you to hurt yourself. You the one who called the cops?”
She nodded. “I heard the shouts and called right away. Was I supposed to?”
“I’m not in a secret organization or Batman, Ainsley. Always call the cops for intruders. I didn’t right away because my security system is down and I was a little busy knocking Chris on his ass.”
“You know his name? It’s not Riker?”
“I’ll tell you everything later.” A knock sounded on the door, and he sighed. “And I’ll be telling them everything, as well.”
There was no use hiding anything anymore, especially since the connections he’d thought he put together had been flimsy before but were anything but now.
* * *
By the time the cops left, Chris in tow, Loch had a headache from hell and a bandage on his arm. Like he’d thought, he hadn’t needed stitches, even though the blood had worried Ainsley. Now, he and Ainsley were sitting on his couch, the place once again clean since they hadn’t wanted to keep any of the debris around after the cops did what they needed to do with the evidence. The power had come back on about an hour ago, and Loch had been able to set up his security system and backup again. Chris had cut a wire to the backup, but that had been easily fixed.
Now, Fox and Dare were in his house, having rushed over when Ainsley called them out of their beds. Loch had been in the middle of getting grilled by Renkle when they arrived, even though this clearly hadn’t been his fault. The detectives seemed to understand that now. Ainsley had known exactly who Loch needed at the house and what to do. She’d also called Marnie’s parents, waking them up to check in on Misty and their house. Somehow, she’d managed to calm them down and not rile them up, making everything sound as if she were just worried about the storm and not something worse. Ainsley hadn’t had much contact with the older couple in the past since things were always slightly strained when it came to his friendship with Ainsley, but that hadn’t seemed to matter when she called to make sure his little girl was okay.
Somehow, he would have to explain to Misty and Marnie’s parents about his new relationship with Ainsley, as well as some of the dangers going on around them. But that time would come, and it would not be at five in the morning after a horrible storm and a break-in at his home.
“This is ridiculous,” Dare muttered from his side, drinking coffee to keep himself awake. All of them were chugging the stuff, though he had a feeling he and Ainsley didn’t need the caffeine, their adrenaline running hot enough for seven cups of coffee. “What does your old buddy have to gain by either using Dennis’s death to his advantage or doing it on his own? You’re not going to give him the company’s contacts because he’s threatening you. If anything, you’d hold them back even more because you don’t take threats.”
Loch shrugged. “I didn’t say the other man was sane or that any of this made any sense. But he comes at my family? My kid?” His gaze flittered over to Ainsley before going back to Dare. “Anyone I care about? It might make me pause. And he knows that.”
“You’re not going to let him get away with this. The cops aren’t either.” Ainsley folded her arms over her chest, still wearing his shirt. His brothers had noticed, but he didn’t care. They knew that he and Ainsley had changed their relationship, so it shouldn’t have been a surprise.
“I know. I don’t know what’s going to happen next, but we’ll take care of it.” Loch let out a breath. “I’ll keep you safe. And because I know you’re worried, Fox, I’m not going to cross any legal or ethical lines. The cops can handle the investigation. I’m going to work on keeping my family safe.” And his family included Ainsley, and he knew she knew that. He’d just do his best to make sure she understood the ramifications of it. Because she was his now, and that meant he wasn’t going to let go. She’d said she wouldn’t leave him like the others did, and he’d just have to trust her on that.
Because she was his.
And that meant he had to keep her safe.
And in his life.
No matter what.
Chapter 13
Ainsley rubbed her temples, the fact that she hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before starting to wear on her as the day progressed. When she was in Loch’s arms after talking late into the night as the storm started up, she’d slept hard as if she’d known she would be safe no matter what happened outside of his hold. And, as it turned out, that had been the case. Her safety and life were never in jeopardy with Loch near. He was able to take care of anything in his path. The fact that he’d had to do that at all, though, didn’t make her feel like roses. And fear still slid through her when she thought about what could have happened if Loch hadn’t been able to subdue the intruder like he did.
How was this her life? How on earth did all of this happen in such a short time? She was just getting used to the fact that she and Loch had finally taken a step toward something new and real when all of its twists and turns kept interrupting.
That was what real life was, though, she guessed. Twists and turns and trying to catch up while living in the moment.
Loch and his brothers had talked things over as the sun came up. Now, no amount of coffee was going to help the fact that she’d only gotten a couple of hours of sleep before she and Loch had woken up in each other’s arms, had the sweetest and hottest sex of her life, and then had been pulled out of bed by hell.
Apparently, Chris—and maybe even Riker from what Loch had said—had sabotaged the generator and used the storm as a convenient way to break in. Loch had figured that Chris or Riker would have broken in on their own later if the power hadn’t gone out thanks to the thundersnow. That meant that someone had been watching the house. And when she’d mentioned that she thought she’d seen someone outside the window when she was at Melody’s, Loch had blown a gasket. She didn’t know what he was planning, but she had a feeling that other than for work after this, she wouldn’t be left alone for long. As it was, Loch was at the police station, giving another statement and relaying all the information he could while she was at home, locked up and secured behind the security system Loch had put in the year before. She had papers to grade, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to focus on them as much as she should.
With all the issues going on with Loch and her, she’d forgotten the date.
She never forgot the date.
And, because of that, the guilt of doing so, of not being enough when she was younger, piled together, and she suddenly didn’t want to talk to anyone. She wanted to wrap herself in blankets and forget that the world was horrible for just a moment.
But it wasn’t as if she could do that.
As if on cue, her phone rang, and she knew without even looking at the readout who it would be. Her mother only called on certain days, and today would be one she wouldn’t forget—even if it had slipped Ainsley’s mind for a few hours.
The guilt hit her again, and she answered the phone, trying to keep her voice calm and collected.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Ainsley.” A strained pause. “How are you?”
Her mom didn’t live in Whiskey and wouldn’t have heard about any of the recent goings-on. For that, Ainsley was grateful. She loved her mom, she really did. The other woman was her only family left, and Ainsley would never forget that, but she also knew that every time her mother finished a conversation with Ainsley, she’d go into herself and hide, letting the depression take over. It wasn’t her fault, it wasn’t anyone’s fault.
It was just that they weren’t the family they once were, and the pain and loss shared
between them was sometimes too much for anyone to bear.
“I’m…I’m okay.” Not quite a lie, but not quite the truth either. And it wasn’t even because of everything that had happened the night and week before.
Ainsley had forgotten the day.
How could she have done that?
“I’m okay, too,” her mother when on. “I’m just calling, well…you know why I’m calling.” A pause as Ainsley knew her mother was likely holding back tears. They were doing better, far better over the years, but today and the other day that was important for this moment would always be difficult for the two of them. “I visited her this morning when I woke up. Are you going later? I can join you if you want.”
Ainsley was already shaking her head even before she said she would be fine. Visiting her sister’s gravesite was hard for Mom, and it wasn’t something they did often. For a couple of years after Katie had died, Ainsley and her mother had regularly gone to visit her to leave flowers and just to talk. But flowers were for the living, the same with headstones and manicured plots. Recently, when they were talking over beers, Ainsley had told Loch that, when she died, she wanted to be cremated after her organs were put to good use.
“I want to fly on the wind,” she’d said to him, her tone a whisper. “I don’t want to take up space.”
Loch had reached out and gripped her hand, giving it a squeeze. “You never take up space, Ainsley.”
“Then, when I die, will you take me to a place you love and set me free?”
He’d given her a strange look. “If that’s what you want, but why do you think I’d outlast you?”
She hadn’t known what he’d meant by that. Perhaps that he’d go before her, or maybe now it was because it would be too hard. She understood. Saying goodbye was never easy, but saying goodbye far too soon broke something deep inside.
“I’ll go later today. We got a bit of snow,” she added, then held back a sigh since her mother had come to Whiskey for the grave. She’d have seen the snow.
“I saw. The roads weren’t too bad, though. The city takes care of everything nicely. Her birthday is always the hardest, but I tell you that every year, don’t I? All the anniversaries, the first times, the tenths, it all adds up, but the birthdays are the hardest.”
“I know.” And she did. Katie’s birthday meant that she wasn’t around to see it, wasn’t around to reach that age.
Katie had been ten when she died of a heart condition no one knew she had. She’d been healthy and active, if a little more of a bookworm than even Ainsley. Ainsley was six years older, just out of the age range where they were best friends, but she’d adored her little sister. And because Mom had become a single mother when Dad ran out on them, she’d had to work the night shift as well as a few day shifts, as well. That left Ainsley to watch over Katie, to make sure she ate and did her homework. She was there for bedtimes and bad dreams. She had been there for many of Katie’s firsts, had captured many of them on tape for their mom.
Ainsley had been alone in the house when Katie went to sleep with a chest cold and never woke up.
She’d been alone in the house when she had to call 911 and beg for them to help her sister. Tabby and her family, Loch included, had shown up even before Ainsley’s mom because they had been closer and hadn’t been working.
Mom had never forgiven herself for not being there that day.
But Ainsley had never once blamed her mother for it. Mom worked overtime every week to make sure there was food in their bellies and a roof over their heads when Dad left them with nothing, stripping their bank accounts and school funds on his way out the door. And every time Mom was home, even if she was exhausted with dark circles under her eyes, she put her daughters first. She had given everything for her little girls.
But Katie had died anyway.
And Mom and Ainsley hadn’t been able to mend what they had, their bond ripped to shreds by the loss. Not because of blame, never that, but because the memories were too crisp. Too painful.
Ainsley had finished school, gone to college, and had grown up, getting close to Loch and his family along the way. And Mom had closed in on herself, trying to reach out but never really able to. Ainsley didn’t know what their relationship would have been like if they were able to stay close when their world was pulled apart, but she knew that staying together, staying close, hurt. Not just her mom, but Ainsley, too.
Because every time she heard her mom’s voice, she remembered the keening wail as they told her that Katie was dead.
Ainsley heard the tears and sobs of when she was younger when Mom had tried to hide them from her and Katie while she was in the shower.
Mom had tried to shield them from everything. But, in the end, it hadn’t been enough.
So, no, Ainsley didn’t blame her mother, but she also didn’t know her all that well these days.
Her mom cleared her throat, and Ainsley realized they’d been silent for an awkwardly long time while she’d been in her head.
“So, anything new going on with you? Are you seeing anyone?”
Her mom was trying to change the subject, and while Ainsley understood, it was always awkward. As much as Ainsley wanted to fix the rift between her mom and her, she wasn’t sure they could or even should. Some pain was too much to bear, and while she loved her mother, she didn’t know what to do when it came to her anymore.
Ainsley had latched on to the Collins family, and maybe that made her a bad person, perhaps she was running away, but her mother was healthier and happier when they weren’t best friends.
And for that reason alone, Ainsley would do everything she could to make sure things stayed the way they were.
“I’m seeing someone new,” she said carefully. “Um, I’m seeing Loch, actually.” She wouldn’t mention everything else going on or the danger that had come at them since she didn’t want to worry her mother, but Mom knew Loch. Mom loved Loch even if she didn’t see him often since she didn’t see Ainsley often. It was better that way. Safer. Healthier.
“Really?” For once, her mom’s voice brightened. Even on this day of all days, her mom sounded happy. “Oh, Ainsley. I love him for you. You’re such good friends, and there’s something between you…well…I’m happy for you, baby.” A pause. This one longer. “Katie would have been happy for you, too. Remember when she met him the first time and she just stared at him, her eyes wide with so much puppy love? She was so adorable, and he was so good with her.”
Ainsley had forgotten that day since it had been so long ago, but now she smiled, her heart warming. “I remember. I’m going to have to ask Loch if he remembers. Because I also had a crush on him, though I was too young for him at the time.”
“I hear a smile in your voice, baby. That’s good. He’s good.”
The two of them talked for a few minutes longer, the conversation going much better than any of their previous talks. And though it hurt to remember the day, the phone call gave Ainsley hope.
Once she’d hung up, Ainsley packed up her things and bundled up. She needed to visit Katie’s grave and she needed to do it alone. It was the middle of the day. No one would come after her, not when they seemed to want Loch and not her, no matter how protective the man was.
She wasn’t going to let the world take away the one day she needed to be with her sister, even if it was a symbol for the living and not truly Katie.
So, Ainsley left Loch a message since he hadn’t answered his phone and headed to the graveyard herself. Her mom had been right in saying that the roads had been cleared. They hadn’t been tended too well in the neighborhoods when Loch made sure she got home, but in the hours since, the sun had risen, and a lot of the snow had already melted.
Though Ainsley knew that others were around since this was a rather large cemetery, right then, with the snow piled up around her, the soft mounds untouched by people or even animals all unmarked and pristine, it felt like she was all alone in the world. And that’s exactly what she needed right then.
She made her way to Katie’s grave, following the only other footsteps along the cleared path. Her mother’s if she were guessing correctly. Surely others would have walked through the site, but none had ventured this way yet other than her mother on her way to visit Katie for her birthday. Ainsley would do the same. She would talk and maybe cry. She’d try to laugh, but she’d have to remember that Katie wasn’t there anymore. Speaking to her as if she were around was more for Ainsley’s benefit than Katie’s, but the idea of being forever lost to others always made Ainsley cold inside, so she liked to think that Katie was listening from wherever she was.
And probably laughing at the ridiculousness that was Ainsley’s life.
They hadn’t had much money when Katie died, and to be honest, Ainsley and her mother didn’t have a lot of money now, but they’d had enough to get a small stone for their Katie.
Katie Michelle Harris
Our baby girl.
Ainsley went to her knees, ignoring the cold and wet on her pants, and wiped the snow off the stone. Her mother had gotten most of it before, but since Katie was under a tree, a place she’d loved when she was alive, some of the snow from the branches had fallen.
“Miss you,” Ainsley said softly. “I always do. And, like always, I never know if I should tell you happy birthday or not. You should be here, though. I always sound like a child when I say it isn’t fair, but it isn’t. You should be here with me, annoying Mom and being the adorable self you were. I don’t say are anymore, I’m getting better at my tenses after all this time. I know I talk to you when I’m at home, or while I’m teaching. Or when I’m trying that dance class I know you’re laughing at me over. I talk to you when I’m with Loch and when I’m just thinking about him—which seems to be often. But talking to you here hurts more, though I know it shouldn’t. I know you’re not in pain, but I guess I’m the one left behind, the one in pain. And I hate it. I hate this for you, but maybe there’s something else beyond this that is so much greater than this pain, and you’re the one waiting for me. I’d like to think that.”
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