Like a family.
Nope, not thinking about that. Too much, far too soon. They might be living together for the moment, might be acting like they were further into their relationship than they were, but it was because of the circumstances. The fact that they already had the base of their relationship helped, but everything else going on around them was what had made it all feel so much more urgent, so much more…developed.
So, no, Ainsley wouldn’t be thinking about that.
Instead, she and Fox would be using what they’d learned during their cooking classes and would make dinner for everyone at the elder Collinses’ home. Ainsley would never forget when Loch had found out that she and Fox were taking the classes. She and Fox had wanted to keep it a secret since, first, it was kind of embarrassing that they needed so much extra help to just cook basics, and secondly, it was something just for her. And Fox, of course, but mainly something just for her. She and Fox had been walking out of class one night, and Melody and Loch had seen them. Melody hadn’t thought anything of it. Had thought she and Fox were just friends, even though Ainsley knew Fox had explained it.
Loch had gotten oddly jealous, and Ainsley had just brushed it off at the time.
But now…maybe she shouldn’t have.
It didn’t matter, though, because Fox and Melody were engaged and having a baby and Ainsley and Loch were…well, they were. She hated titles, but she guessed he was her…boyfriend? See, titles sucked.
And tonight was about family. About dinner. And about trying to calm down after a hectic and dangerous week.
“You look nervous,” Fox said from her side. “Is it because you’re a better cook than I am and you’re afraid I’ll hurt you while we do this? Or is it because this is a meet-the-parents night where the parents already know you?”
Ainsley looked over her shoulder and glared at Fox. “It’s no wonder you’re the younger brother. Pest.”
He just grinned. “Tabby’s younger than me. You, too. But, yeah, your Loch-y boy is the big, grumpy brother. And even with all the shit going on with him, he’s still smiling. I’m going to go out on a limb and thank you for that.”
She leaned against the kitchen counter, aware that she couldn’t rest for long since Barbara Collins would be in the kitchen at any moment to check on them. The fact that Loch’s mother had given up her space at all for Ainsley and Fox to try out their cooking skills for dinner either meant she’d lost a bet or actually believed something amazing could come out of this kitchen.
Or…there were emergency lasagnas in the freezer.
Either way, Ainsley was just happy that she could try to do something for the family who had taken her in when she’d thought she’d lost everything—including a mother who hadn’t been able to remain whole for her remaining daughter.
“You’re a menace, but I’m glad Melody loves you.”
Fox’s grin was wide then, his eyes bright. “She’s pretty amazing, isn’t she? And did you see her today? Her bump is bigger, though when I told her that, she kicked me in the shin.”
“Fox.”
“I know. I know. You never tell a woman she’s bigger than she was the day before. But it’s our baby. There should be a rule or something that it’s okay to say that when it’s your baby.”
“Fox.”
“Fine.”
Ainsley just grinned. Arguing with Fox was fun because he usually did all the talking. She just had to give him a look, and he understood what she meant.
“Now, we’re making mashed potatoes, roasted chicken, two veggies, rolls, and the pie you and Melody made yesterday, which is already sitting on the counter. We can do this.” She paused, suddenly unsure. “Right?”
“The chicken is already in the oven, stuffed with oranges, a lemon, and butter. We did that, and we didn’t break anything. We’re good. Now, on to the sides. The rolls are rising, and I didn’t end up with flour all over my face, so I’m counting that as a win.”
She didn’t mention that he had some in his hair, but she was pretty sure she had some in hers, as well.
“Let’s get back to it then.”
They laughed as they got back to work, Barbara coming in to check on them a few minutes later. She sweetly brushed the flour out of Fox’s hair, then did the same for Ainsley, her eyes dancing with laughter. Fox just rolled his eyes, but Ainsley leaned into the other woman’s hold, needing a hug more than she’d thought she did.
“That’s for the assist,” Ainsley said with a wink. “Flour is dangerous.”
“You don’t see me when I bake usually. You see me with holiday baking, of course, but breads and other doughs? Flour everywhere.” She patted her sides and smiled. “I just do a better job of hiding it before I walk out into the main room with everyone. You know, maybe I can get Loch to knock down that wall. I really want an open concept layout like in all those TV shows.”
“Loch is a decent handyman, but I don’t think he should be knocking down walls…” Ainsley smiled as she said it, but she could only imagine what Loch would do if he were asked to help. He’d do research, find someone to help him, and do it with his own hands just because that was who Loch was.
“True…” Barbara said, staring at the wall.
“What if it’s load-bearing?” Fox asked, and the two women looked at him. “What? I know things.”
“I don’t know if it is, but there are posts and things you can put up. Our dining room and living room are open, but the kitchen can be so closed-off sometimes.”
“Didn’t you just say you liked keeping all the flour to yourself in the kitchen?” Ainsley asked.
Barbara just rolled her eyes. “You aren’t letting me have any fun. I’m going to go out and tell Bob I want a new kitchen just to see how wide his eyes get.” Her own eyes gleamed as she left, leaving Fox and Ainsley practically rolling on the floor.
“I want to be them when I grow up,” Ainsley said.
“I know what you mean. I got pretty lucky in the parents’ department. The fact they still love each other as much now as they did almost forty years ago says much about them. You know? I want that with Melody.”
Ainsley’s heart warmed. “I think you’ll have it. You already have the foundation.”
“Should I say something along the lines of you and Loch do, as well? Or are you going to kick me in the shin? Because I already have a bruise from Melody on my right one, so will you at least use the left? I’m fragile.”
She tossed him a potato and glared. “Start peeling. And you know the rules, we don’t talk about new relationships in the kitchen.”
“You just made up that rule, so I don’t know if I want to follow it.”
“Remember, Fox, I’ll be around for that baby. I’ll be able to tell him or her all the little stories from when you were a kid that you might want to keep hidden.”
“I have my parents for that, thank you very much. Did Melody tell you my mom sent her a framed photo of me naked on a bear-skin rug? Framed, Ainsley. Framed.”
“I hope you were a baby and this wasn’t a photo from last month. That would be weird.”
He was the one who tossed the potato peel this time. “I hate you. But I love you, too. And I’m only going to say one thing. I know the world is coming at you two right now with a lot of crap that we’ll all talk about later when Nate and Misty are napping or otherwise engaged, but I’m happy for you both. Loch needs someone, and while he’s always had you because you’re amazing, I’m glad he really has you now. And, Ainsley? I’m glad you have him, too. You make each other happy, and that’s all I’ll say.” He paused. “For now.”
Then he smiled and went back to work, leaving Ainsley wondering what would happen if it all changed. If what she and Loch were fighting for somehow slipped through their fingers, she might lose everything. Not just the man she loved, but everything. Loch was so ingrained in her life, she didn’t know where she’d find the strength to knit herself and her life back together again. And if she lost Loch, despite his words,
she could lose Misty and Loch’s family, as well.
The family that had taken her in and made her feel like she was one of them.
She went back to cooking, and then later, ate her meal sitting between Loch and Misty, acting as if everything were fine. It wasn’t, though. Because everyone around her was connected, was truly family. And Ainsley was one step away from that.
It might be different now, but it could all change.
And that worried her, maybe not as much as the danger lurking somewhere nearby, but enough that she couldn’t properly taste the food everyone said was amazing. She didn’t want to not have Loch in her life, but she also knew she probably couldn’t go back to being just friends.
He was her everything, despite her attempts for it not to be that way.
She let out a breath and smiled, though she knew Loch saw something in her eyes that worried him. She’d tell him her feelings. Later. After Riker had been caught and Loch was safe. For now, she’d smile and pretend that she wasn’t worried about what would happen if it all ended. It didn’t help anything to worry about something that might not happen at all.
But it was that might that would keep her up at night.
No matter how hard she tried to pretend it wouldn’t.
Chapter 16
Loch had a headache, and for some reason, even his tooth ached. He didn’t have time for a cavity, but it seemed like his life wasn’t going to slow down anytime soon. He stood in the parking lot, waiting to go in and pick up Misty from school. His work schedule was all messed up, and he was barely at the gym these days, doing his best to be there in-person for Misty and Ainsley for as many hours a day as possible.
Since Misty was only four, she didn’t have full days at school, and there wasn’t the normal drop-off line like there was for all the grades above her. It was going to suck next year when he had to wait in line like cattle to pick up his kid, but he’d work it out.
But staying in the parking lot meant he needed to deal with other parents, something he hated. He didn’t actually hate all people, but he wasn’t a huge people person, and dealing with other moms and dads was never his idea of a good time. Especially since, for some reason, this year, he was the only single dad of the bunch. Ainsley had told him it wasn’t always this way, but he’d gotten the unlucky draw this year. It wasn’t usually an issue, but there was one mom who was also single and never let him be.
He didn’t want to be an asshole, but she damn well sure made him feel like one when he had to constantly put off her advances without letting their kids see what the hell was going on. There was a time and a place for crap like that, and in the school parking lot waiting for their little kids was not one of them. Plus, the woman wouldn’t take no for an answer since he wasn’t seeing anyone.
Or he hadn’t been seeing anyone.
Well, then. Today might just be different, after all.
Tammy walked across the parking lot—or more like she prowled. Jesus, he did not have the time or patience for this today. He was sure she was a nice woman outside of his interactions with her, but she never listened to him and only looked at his muscles. Never his face. Yeah, he got it, he worked out, he owned a damn gym, but he didn’t want to date her.
He was dating his best friend.
That thought made him smile despite the crap going on around him. Of course, it was the smile that Tammy saw when she stepped up next to him and, from the look in her eyes, he figured she thought it was for her. This wasn’t going to be fun, not in the slightest.
“Loch. It’s good to see you again.”
“Tammy.”
He checked his watch, not as discreetly as he might have in the past. Misty would be out any minute, and since he’d parked right at the front, she wouldn’t have to walk past any cars to get to him. He kept an eye out, aware that Riker could be anywhere, considering what had happened to Ainsley the day before.
His blood boiled at the memory, and he had to calm his racing heart if he wanted to look like he wasn’t a damn serial killer. Ainsley had slept over the night before, bringing her bag and everything else she might need with her. She’d slept in the guest room like she had in the past despite his protests since she’d said she wanted to talk to Misty first, and the night after a family dinner and the attack wasn’t the time for it.
That meant it had been over a day since he’d held her in his arms and taken her to bed and he was done waiting. He didn’t realize he would crave her as much as he did, and now that he’d had a taste, he knew he wouldn’t ever stop wanting her.
“Loch? Did you hear me? They opened up that new restaurant on the other end of Main Street from your brother’s place. Oh, it won’t be as wonderful as Dare’s since your family is so amazing, but do you want to try it out with me sometime? Just two friends…enjoying each other’s company?”
Loch blinked, meeting Tammy’s gaze for the first time. He hadn’t heard what she’d said before, and he could have hit himself for that. He’d kept his attention on his thoughts and the door Misty would be coming out of, not on the woman in front of him asking him out…again.
Before, he’d been nice—apparently, too nice—but now he had an excuse that beat them all.
“Sorry, Tammy. If I try that place, I’ll be going with Ainsley.”
Tammy rolled her eyes. “Well, the two of you are cute as friends, but a man has needs, Loch.”
There had to be a hole around big enough to bury him. Just put him out of his misery.
“I’m just fine, Tammy. I’m seeing someone.”
Her eyes widened. “Oh. Her?” She blinked a few times. “Well, I guess I should say it’s about time.” She looked over her shoulder. “Have a good day.”
Then she practically ran away, and Loch knew he hadn’t handled that well. He wasn’t the greatest in social situations, that was what Ainsley was good at in his opinion.
“Are you talking about Ainsley? Are you dating her, Daddy?”
Loch whirled as Misty threw herself into his arms, her smile wide, and her eyes even brighter than usual. He picked her up, holding her close, and looked around to see if anyone was near. He couldn’t sense anything out of the ordinary, and no one seemed to be watching them, but he still held Misty close, annoyed with himself for once again getting distracted. Lives were on the line, and he was being an idiot. He wouldn’t blame anyone for kicking him in the shin like Fox had talked about the night before.
“Hey, baby girl.” He kissed the top of her head and carried her to his truck. “What were you saying?”
She rolled her eyes, and he narrowed his. When she gave him a sheepish look, he knew she was at least trying not to do it often but failing. Ainsley had said sarcastically that Misty would be fun as a teenager and Loch had a feeling they hadn’t seen anything yet.
“Ainsley. You said you were dating. I know dating. That’s when you go out and love each other. Ainsley, you go out with. You love her. But you need to take her out to a real place, Daddy. With real food. Not just at home. Ainsley’s pretty, Daddy. I love her, too. So, yay!”
Loch buckled his kid into her booster seat as she rambled a mile a minute about her day at school. The snow that hadn’t actually taken classes away, though some of the kids had wanted a snow day. Misty added in a few Ainsley topics along the way.
He cleared his throat as he tried to figure out what to say. He and Ainsley hadn’t gotten around to talking about what they were going to tell Misty because while they wanted to be honest, it wasn’t an easy conversation to have.
Misty, however, seemed to have ideas of her own.
“We’ll talk about it when we get home.” Misty was still too young to fully understand, and he didn’t want to confuse her. It didn’t help that he was already plenty confused himself.
“Okay, Daddy. Are we going to pick up Ainsley now? She’s your girlfriend, right? Like Denny is Mary’s boyfriend? He gave her a sticker, and she played with him at recess. You should give Ainsley a sticker.”
Loch b
linked and figured he’d have to have a talk about what exactly that meant in detail later. His kid was four, not twenty-four. There shouldn’t be boyfriends or girlfriends at that age, and stickers shouldn’t have anything to do with it.
“Mary is Denny’s girlfriend?”
She nodded. “Yep.” She popped the p in the word, and he shook his head. This kid, man. This kid.
“You don’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, do you?” He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear the answer since he was afraid she might say yes to both and end up with a sticker haul of her own he’d have to deal with.
She shook her head. “I can get my own stickers.”
That made him laugh, and he leaned down to kiss her on top of her head. “That’s my girl. Now, let’s go pick up Ainsley, and we’ll check out those stickers of yours.” He paused. “Just know that if a boy or girl gives you stickers, you don’t have to play with them at recess if you don’t want to. Okay?”
“I know, Daddy. Just make sure you give Ainsley stickers or something she likes. Not so she’ll play with you, but because they make her smile. She needs good things. We’re her good things, too.”
Out of the mouth of babes.
He kissed her again, then closed the door, heading to the front seat. He started his truck and pulled out of the parking lot, carefully avoiding Tammy’s gaze on the way out. They made it to Ainsley’s school soon after, and she grinned at them as she got into the truck. Though they hadn’t had a snow day either, she hadn’t had to stay late because of the weather, and today was one of the few days both schools let out at the same time. That meant he’d have time with both of his girls. Time where he could talk about stickers and dinner and other things that didn’t bring up death and dark memories.
They’d had enough of that over the past few days and weeks, and somehow, the moment Ainsley jumped into the passenger seat, it felt like everything was normal, was exactly as it needed to be. There were still a few undercurrents in the air, the fact that he kept an extra-vigilant eye on his surroundings, worried about who could be watching, what could be waiting for him. The fact that his phone had a connection to the constant surveillance at his home and the gym. But he could pretend for a few moments that everything was fine.
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