by Coleen Kwan
“On the contrary, you’ve been a huge help. You revamped my dating profile, you encouraged me to put myself out there, and you’re there for me when things go bad. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate having someone in my corner. Just being here listening to me. I feel like you…like you really get me.”
Her words caught him. As did the fervent depths of her eyes. Silence fell between them, a stillness that hummed with unsaid words. He felt it then, some kind of magnetic force tugging him to her, and he moved forward.
“I’m sorry about the date. I wish it had turned out better.”
She swallowed, swayed toward him. It seemed the invisible pull between them wasn’t one-sided; his proximity affected her, too. “It doesn’t matter,” she said huskily.
“It does matter. I can tell it matters to you.”
“Look on the bright side. If the date hadn’t soured, I wouldn’t have been able to ride the Ferris wheel with you and Amelia.”
“True.” The memory of her curvaceous body snuggled against his and her foot playing with his was indelibly stamped in his head. As he relived it, blood started to rush through his veins. “I enjoyed that, a lot. Only thing is, I didn’t get to finish what I’d started there.”
Her eyes were glimmering pools of amber. “And what’s that?”
She licked her lips. He didn’t know if the movement was subconscious or not, but it shattered the last remains of his self-control. As he stepped even closer to her, she lifted her head to him, walnut curls surrounding a face like a sunflower. He cupped her cheek, relishing the silkiness of her skin as he slowly moved his thumb over the width of her jaw, his breathing jerky.
“Let me show you.”
He lowered his head and captured her mouth. Despite the heat raging in him, he schooled himself to keep the kiss gentle, his lips soft and persuasive, as if she were a wounded bird he was nursing back to life. He thought she might pull away, but instead she opened up in a way that startled him. Pushing herself up on her toes, she grasped his shoulders and returned his kiss. God, she tasted incredible. He wanted more, but at the back of his mind was the certainty they were straying into dangerous territory.
He drew away for a moment, feeling the loss of her lips like an ache. He kept his arms clasped around her waist. “This is a really bad idea, but I can’t seem to stop myself.”
“Me neither.” She looped her hands around his neck and threaded her fingers through his hair. He was taken aback by how her touch thrilled him. “But sometimes, bad ideas aren’t so bad.”
“I’ll go with that.” Any excuse to keep kissing her.
He scooped her up in his arms, taking her by surprise, and strode over to a nearby couch, where he laid her on the cushions before lowering himself beside her. As he stretched himself against her, the fire in him threatened to burst free, but he wrestled for control as he stroked her hair, her face, her throat. She mesmerized him. Then he began to kiss her. At first he was staunch enough to be gentle, but when she arched her back and pressed her breasts against him, it was like gasoline tossed onto a smoldering fire. Their kisses became frantic and wild, their hands roving over each other, their legs tangling together.
He nipped her lower lip with his teeth, then soothed it with his tongue, teasing and torturing her. She was a willing pupil, quickly learning what he liked, her hands exploring his chest, her touch making him shiver and throb. Soon he had lifted the edge of her shirt and spread his palm over the naked skin of her abdomen. She quivered beneath him, sharpening his arousal. He slowed his movements, coasting his palm over her as he watched her every response.
“Do you like that?” he asked, his voice thick with desire.
She nodded, panting with lips parted. He leaned over and traced his mouth over her throat, lingering where her pulse throbbed.
“Caleb,” she whimpered.
She pushed her fingers through his hair, stroked the sides of his face, her eyes glittering like topaz crystals. Then, with a surprising show of force, she pushed him onto his back and rolled on top of him. Straddling him, she laughed, full of feverish glee. He gazed up at her, fascinated, and breathed in deep as she slowly and clumsily undid the buttons of his shirt. God, who knew Lily could be so wild?
He was on fire, his mind no longer in control. All he could think of was making Lily his.
Then she paused, her fingers drifting over the small tattoo on his lower torso. “A hawk. Does it have a special meaning?”
He shrugged. “Freedom, I guess. Freedom to spread my wings and fly off whenever I want.” He started to reach for her, impatient for her caresses to continue, but something in her expression made him halt. “Is something wrong?”
She was still gazing at his tattoo, a small frown on her brow. And then her face twisted as if a wave of pain was passing over her. “Actually, I think we should stop.”
“Huh?” His mind went blank, his blood vessels shrank. “You don’t like tattoos?”
“No, it’s not that. I just—” Biting her lip, she clambered off him and moved away from the couch, leaving him feeling sideswiped.
He blinked. After a few seconds he pushed to his feet, swiftly doing up his shirt. What the hell just happened? One minute she was hot for him, the next she was backing off like he had measles or something.
“Why’d you change your mind?” he couldn’t help asking.
She concentrated on buttoning her shirt, avoiding his gaze. “Like you said, it’s a bad idea to get carried away.”
He let out a deep exhale and raked his fingers through his mussed hair. What a screwed-up situation. The fire was still raging in him, but the cold logic of her words cut through. Continuing to kiss Lily was madness because it would only lead to one thing, and he couldn’t—wouldn’t—go there. Lily wanted and deserved a real relationship with a man prepared to give her everything. If they ended up in bed, he would not make her false promises. He’d end up hurting her, and hating himself. The thought chilled him.
His hand closed into a fist. “You’re right. I’m sorry for starting that.”
“No, please don’t apologize. I was as much to blame as you.” She snatched up her purse and headed for the door.
Caleb followed her outside, dismayed at how the day had spun out of control. “Lily.” He held the car door after she’d climbed into the driver’s seat. “Are you sure you’re all right?”
“I’m fine, really.” She gave him a brief, brittle smile that went out after a second.
She wasn’t, he knew, and he was a fool for asking. The best thing he could do now was give her space. He stepped back. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Yeah, sure.”
And then she was gone, her small green car zooming down the street as if she couldn’t get away fast enough.
…
Stopping at a set of traffic lights, Lily touched her lips that still felt swollen and hot from Caleb’s kisses. If it hadn’t been for that tattoo, what might she be doing now?
But thank heavens she had seen it. Caleb’s tattoo of a hawk in flight had reminded her of what he sought—freedom. He didn’t want or need a woman in his life or, by extension, children. Yes, she and Caleb had physical chemistry, lots of it, but he could never be what she yearned for—a man she could love with all her heart, who reciprocated her feelings. A man who knew her, understood her, championed her. A man who would be by her side through good times and bad. A man who would be her friend, her lover, and father of her children.
That man could never be Caleb because he didn’t want what Lily wanted. And if she thought she could change his mind, she’d only be setting herself up for heartache and disappointment.
Chapter Ten
The following morning Caleb rapped his knuckles on Lily’s door then stood back. To his dismay, the churning in his stomach that had been there all night went up a notch.
The door swung open to reveal Lily dressed in patched jeans and a loose T-shirt, a plastic spray bottle in one hand.
“Hello.” He
r voice was cool, a little uncertain.
“Hi.” He paused. This was the first time he’d felt a strain between them, and he hated it. “I came over to apologize for last night—”
“I told you there’s nothing to apologize for.” She lifted her chin, determined brown eyes fixed on him. “It was a mutual thing. I was kissing you just as much as you were kissing me.”
Caleb swallowed. Despite himself, his gaze dropped to her mouth, the need to feel those luscious lips on his flaring into life once again. No. He forced his eyes back to hers.
“Well, I’m apologizing for my part, then. I shouldn’t have done it, regardless of what you wanted.”
She sighed. “All right, apology accepted, even though it’s not necessary.”
“Good, and I want you to know that I’ve been thinking about your reunion problem and—”
Lily was already shaking her head. “No, Caleb, I shouldn’t have told you about my stupid promises.”
“Well, you have, and I’m going to help you find someone. And I don’t mean a fake boyfriend just for your reunion, I mean a real one, the one you’ve been searching for. The one you deserve.” He paused, realizing he was starting to sound like a Hallmark card. “That dating site obviously isn’t working out, so I’m going to find a guy for you myself.”
“You?” Her eyebrows shot up. “You’re going to fix me up with one of your friends?”
“Sure. Or a friend of a friend. But it won’t be just any dude. It’ll be someone you’ll definitely like. You have only three weeks until your reunion, but I think I can make it happen.”
Shaking her head, she leaned against the doorframe, her shoulders dropping. “Oh, Caleb. I don’t know about this.”
“You don’t trust my matchmaking skills? How much worse could I be than eCherish?”
Lily kneaded her temple. “It’s not that, but I—I’m so tired. Tired of getting my hopes up, tired of having them dashed, tired of forcing myself to be upbeat and nice and pleasant to people who don’t seem to respect me.”
Oh no. There was that glimmer of tears behind her eyes again. The tendons between his shoulders twisted. He didn’t know why, but any hint of distress from Lily got to him badly. Made him want to take her into his arms. Trouble was, as soon as that happened, all he could think about was kissing her. And from now on, kissing Lily was strictly forbidden, no matter what.
“I understand,” he said. “That’s why I’ll be real careful about who I choose. I promise there won’t be any duds. Please, Lily. Just give me a chance.”
She played with the spray bottle for several moments. “If you feel you have to do this to keep up your end of the deal, then don’t. You gave me advice about dating, and it was good to—to talk things over with you. As far as I’m concerned you’ve more than fulfilled your part.”
“I’m not thinking about the deal.”
“Then why?” Her fingers tightened on the spray bottle. “Is it because you feel sorry for me?”
“No. I want to do it because we’re friends.”
He’d spent all night stewing over what had happened on that couch. If he had any sense he’d stay away from Lily, but he couldn’t get the memory of her tear-stained eyes out of his head. He couldn’t walk away. They were friends, he felt, even though he’d never felt like this with any of his other female friends before.
She covered her mouth with her hand, and he couldn’t tell if she was smiling or choking back a cough. Finally she dropped her hand and looked at him, her mouth pulled into a tight line.
“Okay. I’ll let you set me up, but only one guy. I couldn’t take another conga line of potential dates.”
“Great. I’ll talk to you before I arrange anything.”
She wrinkled her brow. “Do you have someone in mind already?”
“I have several. Just gotta decide which one.” He tucked his hands into his pockets. “I’d better run. Gotta get busy with the house.”
“You’re working today? But it’s the weekend.”
“I’ll only get it done if I work overtime.”
She gave him a faint smile. “I admire your dedication.”
“Once I put my mind to something, I go all out.”
“Yes, I see that.”
“I’ll call you later when I’ve chosen the best guy for you.”
Her smile widened. “I’m starting to get quite curious now.”
It was good to see her dimple again. Finding Lily the right boyfriend would make her happy, and it would stop him from kissing her and running the risk of hurting her. Success all around. Only problem was, who to choose? He knew plenty of guys, but which one would make the perfect match for Lily? He couldn’t afford to screw this up. Lily was counting on him. She trusted him. He couldn’t get this wrong.
…
Several hours later, Caleb lifted the edge of his T-shirt and mopped his sweating brow. He’d been putting up sheetrock in the unfinished house all morning. Finally he’d decided to take a short break and join the casual basketball game a group of his friends arranged each week at the local community center. Now, seven minutes into the second quarter, he subbed out and parked himself on the bench. As he swigged his Gatorade, he studied each of the players whom he knew didn’t have a wife or girlfriend.
Nathan was a good guy, but he gambled too much. Trevor was witty, but he was a gym junkie and too in love with his biceps. Peter was a nice guy with no obvious vices, but he was too bland. And Jerry was recently divorced and still bitter from the split, so he was clearly out.
Caleb sighed and swiped his hand over his hair. No one here was good enough for Lily. He’d have to look elsewhere. Then his eyes narrowed on the tall man who’d just sunk a basket. What was his name again? Ryan something. Caleb had met him before at Amber and Logan’s engagement party. He was single, too, Caleb remembered, because Amber had joked about setting him up with one of her friends.
Caleb got to his feet, telling the others on the bench he had to make a call. Ignoring their protests, he walked out of the building and brought up Amber’s number on his cell.
“Hey,” he said after they’d exchanged greetings. “What can you tell me about your friend Ryan? The guy I met at your engagement party.”
“Oh, that Ryan. He’s a sweetheart,” Amber instantly said. “What do you want to know?”
“What’s he like? What does he do for a living? Does he date a lot of women?”
“Jeez, what’s with all the questions? Do you have a man-crush on him?”
“Yeah, totally, so can you just tell me?”
“Okay, well, like I said Ryan’s a sweetie. He’s the CEO of a not-for-profit childcare organization, which is unusual for a Claybourne because that family churns out lawyers.”
“Oh, he’s one of those Claybournes?” Caleb didn’t use lawyers much, but even he’d heard of the Claybournes, an old, established family in Pine Falls who made a bundle from their legal practice.
“Yes, but he’s not like them. He’s great. What’s with all the questions about Ryan? Wait…are you thinking of setting him up with that girl you’re helping, Lily Baker?” Amber’s voice was thick with intrigue.
“I’m just canvassing the options, so don’t talk about this to anyone, okay?”
“But you will tell me if it goes ahead, right?”
“I guess.”
“You better!” She laughed. “I’m consumed with curiosity now!”
“Remember, don’t tell anyone.”
“You’re no fun.”
“Bye, Amber.”
…
The glass tank was gleaming, and all the decor and feeding bowls had been thoroughly scrubbed and dried. Lily stood back to admire her handiwork. With the terrarium clean, it was time to bathe Noodles.
In her bathroom, she filled the tub then carefully lowered her bearded dragon into the few inches of warm water. Noodles happily splashed about. As she watched her pet’s antics, her thoughts inevitably drifted back to Caleb. His visit this morning had cau
ght her by surprise; she really hoped he didn’t think she was still hung up about what had happened at his sister’s house. Even though, in all honesty, she was. How could she ever forget those scorching moments in his arms, his mouth devouring her like she was the most irresistible dessert in the world? Though she was the one who’d pulled back first, she was still shattered, but no way did she want him knowing that.
She was drying Noodles with a soft towel when there was a knock at the door. She answered it, and once again was startled when she saw Caleb standing in front of her.
“Oh. Hi.”
Noodles poked his head out of the towel and stared unflinchingly at Caleb.
“Hi, Noodles.” Caleb looked less wary than he had this morning and more relaxed. He hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his low-slung jeans. “Did he just have a bath?”
“Yep.” She eyed his dusty, stained clothes. “Looks like you need one, too.”
His eyebrows rose. “Are you volunteering to give me one?”
She caught her breath. “Look, about this morning. I might’ve been a bit grumpy. I don’t want you thinking that I’m mad or anything about what happened last night. It—it was very nice, and I, er, I really enjoyed it, but I’m not reading anything into it. I just want you to know that.”
Caleb didn’t say anything, just leaned his shoulder against her doorframe. “Okay,” he said quite calmly. “I appreciate you saying that.”
“Good, because I don’t want any misunderstandings.”
“Sure.” He scratched the dark stubble on his jaw. “FYI it’s not exactly flattering to a man’s ego to hear that his kisses were ‘nice’ and that the girl ‘enjoyed’ them.”
Was that a challenge in his voice? Was he calling out her lie? Her breathing tightened. “Oh. Should I exaggerate, then? Tell him that his kissing drove me wild and—and that I never wanted him to st-stop?” Why did she have to stammer on the last word?
Caleb was still casually propped against the doorframe, but his eyes were pinned on her, and his arms were taut. “You don’t have to say anything. A man can tell by the way you say his name and clutch him like he’s the last Easter egg in the store.”