But first I need to congratulate Mark. The rest of them are slapping his back or cheering him on from the video link. I get up, give him a short hug. “Congratulations, man. January and the baby are lucky to have you.”
“Thanks.” Mark is smiling like crazy. “It’s been wild. Thank God we already started planning the wedding.”
“First a wedding, then a baby.” Logan grins. “Welcome to the club. And when are the rest of you assholes joining?”
Finn immediately starts spluttering, Paul merely smiles enigmatically, and Elliot shakes his head.
“Doc and I are going to do things on our own schedule,” Finn says. “I already proposed anyway.”
“You sound as bad as my mother,” Paul says.
Elliot’s tone is dry as hell. “Once we don’t have a warrant out for our arrest, we’ll think about it.”
Mark and Logan share a look.
“Elliot’s the only one with an excuse,” Mark says.
All of them turn to look at me.
“I should be going,” I say.
“Tell Anjie we said hi,” Finn says.
They all start snickering. Then full-out laughing.
“It only started after she made partner,” I shout over the noise.
“Oh right.” Logan rolls his eyes. “You guys were mind fucking from the very beginning.”
I’m trying my best to hang on to my dignity, although I suppose I deserve this. “There was no mind fucking.”
“Yeah, there was.” Finn taps his temple. “Fucking with your mind.”
Something about the way he says it just kills me. I laugh so hard I have to put my face into my hands. It’s completely ridiculous and I love it.
Finally I look up and nod. “Yeah, she was fucking with my mind. Hopefully I’ve got myself sorted out enough for her though.”
Mark gestures to the door. “Go on then. Get.”
“But if you hurt her…” Logan’s voice is quietly menacing. “We’ll kill you.”
Finn’s stare is cold. “Desert. Unmarked grave.”
I turn toward the door. “That’s more than fair. Wish me luck.”
They all stand up. I feel like I’m being sent off to war. They all insist on shaking my hand before I leave, and I realize we’re all a little buzzed. Maybe more than a little buzzed. I’ll have to call a car.
Logan grins. “Good luck.”
“Take care of her.” Finn gives me a nod as I head for the door.
“I’m so glad I’m not in the room for this.” Elliot rolls his eyes, trying not to laugh.
“Me too,” Paul agrees.
“Godspeed,” Mark says.
“What the fuck does that even mean?” Finn asks.
As I slip out, they start up again. It’s one of the best sounds I’ve ever heard.
Chapter 27
This time when Dev knocks on my front door, I’m ready.
The ocean is quieter tonight but still a dull roar. It can never be entirely silent. It reminds me of my own heartbeat—sometimes quiet, sometimes loud, but always there.
When the knock comes, my heart reacts but the ocean doesn’t. I knew he was coming and I’m ready, which is why my pulse is jumping inside me. It’s time for just us now.
He’s not smiling as I open the door, but he does have one arm braced against the doorframe. It highlights the lean strength of him in a way that makes my mouth dry. He’s so much more relaxed this time… but he’s also holding back. Waiting for me.
“How did it go?” I ask. “Afterward?”
He purses his mouth as he considers it. “I think we’re okay again. It’s not… not one hundred percent, but we’ll get there.” His gaze drops. “You were right all along. About everything.”
I put my hands over my mouth for a moment, because it’s everything I wanted for him. To be open with those who love him. All of them. “You had to tell them in your own time, in your own way. I gave you a push, that’s all.”
“You did a hell of a lot more than that.”
I cross my arms. He’s not getting off that easily. “You can’t disappear like that. We were all worried sick. Especially after what happened. You just… you left me.” My voice breaks and I let it. He needs to know how badly he hurt me.
He reaches for me and I let him. Even when he’s the one who caused the harm, his touch still comforts me.
“I’m sorry. I’ll admit I was an asshole for leaving you. When Fuchs revealed he’d only been fucking with me… I lost my mind. I remembered to call the security detail, to make sure you got home safely, and then I found a place to get really, really drunk.”
I sniff and wipe my eyes. “You get drunk?”
“Not very often. I made up for lost time.”
“And the rest of the week? You were just drunk?”
He smiles wryly. “No, although it did take me a full day to get over the hangover. I went home and I did exactly what you said. I went back to the beginning.”
I frown. What beginning does he mean? “But we’d already found Fuchs.”
“My beginning.”
My breath catches as I realize what he means. “You talked to Mr. Jarvis?”
He nods. “You were right: he remembered me. And he was really glad to hear from me.”
I knew he would be. Who wouldn’t be proud of what Dev had done with his life? “How did you feel?”
He takes a deep, contemplative inhale. “It was awkward, but at the same time good. Like, he was so proud of me it made me uncomfortable, but it also felt great to hear. Is that how it’s supposed to be?”
I smile through my unshed tears, because that’s such a Dev thing to ask. “Yeah, that’s normal. You’ll get used to it.”
“It’ll be easier next time,” he says. “I promised to help him set up his home machine shop.” He looks away, then back at me. “I went to the home too.”
“Oh, Dev.” I reach up to stroke his cheek. “Was it hard? I would have gone with you.”
He shakes his head. “No, I had to do it myself. It wasn’t as bad as I’d imagined. They’ve changed things, but not everything. The lady who ran the kitchen was still there—she was happy to see me.” He smiles as he remembers, and my heart splits with a silent crack.
He did it. He went back to the beginning.
I search his face, trying to tell him how I feel about what he’s done. It’s so massive I wasn’t certain he could do it. But he did.
“I love you,” I say.
The expression that crosses his face is indescribable. It’s like watching a wish being granted but only better. He cradles my face, his gaze holding mine.
“Damn,” he says softly. “I wanted to be the one to say it first.”
Oh, if I wasn’t already in love with him, that would do it.
“I’ve loved you from the first moment I saw you,” he says. “Even though I don’t believe in that stuff. But I couldn’t shake it. You’re the bright spot in my soul.”
I release a teary hiccup. I’m so happy I’m crying and laughing at the same time. “How am I supposed to top ‘bright spot in my soul’?”
“You don’t have to. You only have to be you.”
He lowers his mouth to mine, and we kiss for long moments. It’s like our first kiss—consuming, enchanting, a kiss to remember for a lifetime.
When we pull apart, he sets his forehead against mine. “I’m so sorry. I won’t leave you again.”
“I know.”
“They told me about the company. I’m so sorry.”
I try to shrug, but my shoulders are too tight. “It’s one of those things. More companies fail than succeed, so I knew it might happen.”
“Hey. Don’t do that. You were really excited about this. Be sad about it. It was a shitty thing that happened.”
Dev is telling me to let my emotions run free. I have to smile, because it’s so unexpected. “I am sad. But there’s hope too—I told Helen this wasn’t her only chance to make her dreams come true and when she comes up with
an even bigger and better idea to call me first.”
“She will,” he says. “You have an eye for talent.”
That makes me feel better about the whole thing. I suppose any of the Bastards would have said that, but it means more coming from Dev.
“I tried to look for your parents,” I say. “Your mom, actually. She might have visited a doctor at some point, so I started there.”
His expression softens. “Oh, Anjelica.” He runs a finger down my cheek. “Thank you. But… but I don’t think they’ll ever be found. And I’m all right with that. If I never find them, I’ll still be the same person. A better person though, thanks to you.”
I swallow hard, because it’s sad but also a relief. I still hope we find them someday, but I’m glad Dev’s accepted that we might not. And that he’s okay with it.
I set my head against his chest. A yawn catches me unawares. It’s only the early afternoon; I shouldn’t be sleepy. In fact, I can think of something that might keep me up…
I tilt my face up and catch his eye. “Feel like an early bedtime?”
Instead of slinging me over his shoulder, he frowns. “There’s another thing I need to ask you.”
I’m not nervous, but he seems to be. “What?”
“I want you to come with me. To see the home. I had to do the first time on my own, because… because I just had to. But I need you to see it too.”
I run my hand over his cheek. “Of course. I’d love to see where you grew up. I should ask you too… I’m going home in a few weeks to visit my parents. You can come if you want. You’d probably have to stay in a hotel since they’re kind of old-fashioned, but…” I take a breath because I said all that too fast. Dev simply waits. “I want you to meet them. If you want to.”
“I’d be honored. I’ve never met the parents before.” His expression darkens. “Will you have to see Kaleb?”
“Probably. But it will be fine. He doesn’t want to see me as much as I don’t want to see him. We’ll say hi, tell him how cute his kid is, and that will be it.”
“If you’re sure. We can always invite your parents here, take them to Napa for the weekend. I’m sure they’d be impressed by Logan’s winery.”
It’s a lovely offer, but… “I haven’t been home in years. I have to go.”
“Then I’ll go with you. And I’ll be very polite to Kaleb.”
I laugh because he’s glowering right now. “Dangerously polite? Murderously polite?”
One corner of his mouth ticks up. “Okay, I’ll probably just be reserved. If that’s all right.”
“It’s more than fine.”
He wriggles his eyebrows. “So, about that early bedtime…”
When I laugh, he slings me over his shoulder. He already knows the way to the bedroom.
“So when should we move your stuff in here?” I ask when he sets me down.
“If you’re here, then there’s nothing else I need.”
I swallow hard at the intense heat in his eyes. I was worried about being his only thing, but being his everything is pretty good. Better than good. Better than anything I could ever want.
I raise an eyebrow. “If you think I’m sharing my clothes…”
He’s still laughing when we fall back together on the bed.
Chapter 28
When we get out of the car, Anjelica immediately reaches for my hand. When her fingers close on mine, my heart fills. This visit isn’t a homecoming, but walking up with Anjelica’s hand in mine makes it feel like it could be.
Her hair is done in loose curls, the sides caught up with tortoiseshell combs in the shape of dragons. Her dress is light yellow, like morning sunshine, and baby dragons play at the hem of her full skirt, playfully setting fire to things. Her outfit is both cute and dangerous, and it makes me happy even as I imagine taking it off her tonight. Or even earlier.
“They renovated it recently?” She peers up at the facade through her sunglasses.
“Yeah. The grounds are all different and the backyard is completely changed, but the outside was just freshened up.”
“My parents changed their garden too,” she says. “My dad will probably give you a tour.”
We’re comparing childhood homes. I’ve never done it before. Nothing about my childhood was normal, but I’m learning how to talk about it. I’ll probably never share with strangers, but Anjelica is an entirely different matter.
I’ve already called ahead and made sure our visit was okay. We won’t stay long—all these people have important, demanding jobs to do—and we won’t see the dorms and most of the kids are at school, but I can share at least some of it with Anjelica. And she can meet Mellie.
Anjelica is mostly silent through the tour. Which is good, because I don’t think I can talk much this time. The first time I went through here was like a shock, a leap into cold water. I could only take everything in.
This time there are memories. Good ones, but dark ones too. Things I’ll probably never tell Anjelica about because they’ll only upset her. Things that remind me I had reasons for never coming back here.
I don’t even realize I’m breathing hard until Anjelica squeezes my hand and asks very quietly, “Okay?”
“Yeah.” I focus on her, how much I love her, how bright my future is with her. “Bad memories.”
She squeezes my hand again, and my breathing slows to normal.
The woman taking us around hasn’t even seen; she’s describing all the new features in the library. I find the copy of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland I noticed before and show it to Anjelica. “This was here when I was,” I say only for her.
She runs a hand over the cover. “Did you like it?”
“It’s all about math, so yes.”
Anjelica has to smother her laugh as we move to the next room. I notice that the bad memories are still there, but they’re a touch dimmer. I can breathe normally.
We head to the kitchen next. At the doorway, the woman in charge of us says, “I’ll let you catch up—just head to the front door when you’re done.”
When we walk in, Mellie actually claps when she sees us. “You brought her!” She hugs Anjelica, then steps back to assess her. “How did you end up with someone so beautiful?”
“I got lucky,” I say. “Very, very lucky.”
Anjelica winks at me. “And don’t you forget it.”
“I never will,” I say quietly.
Her mouth purses and she looks like she might tear up, but she holds it together. And then Mellie starts to fuss over her and Anjelica asks her all kinds of questions about running the kitchen. I look around while they talk. There’re no bad memories here, and not only because it’s been completely redone since I left.
I’m glad I made Mellie happy by bringing Anjelica here. And I’m glad I brought Anjelica, just so she could see. I don’t want to be the only person in my life who knows about this place anymore.
“So…” Anjelica gives me a mischievous look. “What was Dev like as a kid?”
No one has ever asked that about me. Not once. It feels good? Intense? Both at once? I’m not good at naming these things.
Mellie smiles. “He was a very good boy. Always did his chores without complaining. And smart! He fixed the dishwasher once.”
I forgot about that. “It was easy. One of the hoses had come loose.”
“He’s still very handy,” Anjelica says.
All right, that’s enough of this. I can only take so many compliments. “I emailed Davey,” I tell Mellie. “He said to say hi.”
“Did he send you pictures of his baby? What a doll that child is.”
I nod. “He did, and the baby is very cute.”
Mellie fixes me with what I guess is supposed to be a stern look. “Your turn next.”
Anjelica ducks her head, but not before I see the flush of pink on her cheeks. That’s going to be an interesting conversation. But whatever we decide, as long as Anjelica’s happy, I’m happy. All I want to do in life is please her.
“We’ll see,” I say. “But if we do, you’ll be the first to get pictures.”
Anjelica nods. “And you can tell me more about when Dev was little.”
Reluctantly I check my watch. “We should be going. We’re not supposed to be here that long.”
Mellie and Anjelica hug and exchange information, and I hug Mellie too. Our goodbyes are bright, light with the expectation that we’ll all see each other again.
When we get outside, we walk slowly to the car. Anjelica is holding my hand again. We’ve got nowhere to be for the rest of the day, which is rare for us.
“So that’s that,” Anjelica says. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I shake my head. “It was enough that you went and met Mellie. That meant a lot to me.”
“It meant a lot to me too.” She swings our joined hands. “So what now? You’ve told everyone about your past, you found Fuchs… What will you do with Fuchs?”
“Emily is going to tell the government where Fuchs is.”
“What’s going to happen to him next?”
“Honestly? I don’t care. I spent all those years obsessed with him and now…” I shrug. “I took his company from him, and now I’m dismantling it. We’ve exposed a lot of the awful shit he did, and if he has to testify before Congress, he’s finished in tech. So… he’s done.”
“Good,” Anjelica says with relish. “I guess there’s not much left then besides clearing Emily’s name and finishing the shutdown of Corvus.”
I frown because it’s just occurred to me that there’s actually a lot left to be done. The most important thing really.
I pull Anjelica to a stop and turn so we’re facing each other. “I’ve been waiting to ask this for a long time. Almost as long I’ve waited to tell you I love you. I admit, I never thought much about marriage and a family, not with my background. But when I do, Anjelica, you’re the only person I could ever imagine doing that with.” I can’t stop myself—this next has to come out. “Anjelica, will you marry me?”
I don’t have a ring, I’m not on one knee, but suddenly I can’t think of a better place to ask her than here and now.
She opens her mouth but says nothing.
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