Whoever was thumping on the door was about to find out what Claire had been up to. I was surprised she went out there naked in a robe. Or maybe she was expecting someone? I just knew that I had to get out of her room and try and at least look decent.
“Claire, you there?” a voice said as she opened the door. The room was dark, and the person might not have seen clearly because Claire was semi-hiding behind the door.
I recognized that voice. It was Hannah’s. I saw Claire wave her hand and tell her to come in.
“I tried calling you. Why didn’t you answer?” Hannah asked hysterically as she paced up and down in front of the door.
Claire never said a word as she walked up to the door and shut it. She turned and put the light on. Her eyes were half open. I put on my shirt as I walked out of the bedroom. I was wondering what all the commotion was about, and foremost, why wasn’t she with Dad?
I didn’t get to ask that question because the next thing that came out of Hannah’s mouth was, “Richard’s dead.” She wailed it so loudly that neither Claire nor I had to ask her what she had said.
I should have known that was the problem. The tone of her voice. The way she was running around the place like a crazy person. Questions like, was it the cancer that killed him or something else?
These are the things that I should have said.
Asked.
Because, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I started to shake at my new reality.
Wanting more details of his death, wouldn’t bring him back. Besides, I couldn’t be bothered. It made no difference. The old man was no longer around. I walked over to the sofa, unable to speak. Unable to think with only guilt in my mind.
If he hadn’t been dying, would he have asked Claire to help me out?
None of the questions drilling into my mind seemed relevant. My heart ached at the idea of never seeing him again. Never hearing his voice.
Claire was comforting her mom. Hugging her, whispering, saying, “It’s alright.” As Hannah continued to cry, Claire’s eyes darted and met mine, and she whispered over and over again, “It’s alright.”
This time, I cried. I didn’t care who saw me cry.
My old man was gone.
I didn’t even get a chance to make him proud.
It made me fucking mad.
But most of all, it made me sad.
Chapter Twenty Eight
Rogue
A week after Dad passed away, we started preparing for the funeral. Hannah was so distraught over the whole thing that all three of us had to get involved with burying Dad.
There was a part of me that felt like, since I was doing this, in a way, I was making up to my dad for being a disappointment. We didn’t get to talk much since I got out of prison, even though I’d gotten to visit him a few times. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to, but either Hannah was talking with him, or he couldn’t speak, even when he was awake.
I’d gotten him to look at me, and he didn’t look at me with the disappointment from before, but because he didn’t say it out loud that he forgave me, I couldn’t take it as if he did.
At least, he’d looked at peace the last time I saw him, and he seemed to be glad that Claire and I were getting along well when we showed up at his room together.
Still, I hadn't done enough for him. Hell, I hadn't done a single fucking thing for him.
It was too late to make things up to him. But I was going to change myself.
I was going to do good with my life, just like he would have wanted.
In the time since the burial, I thought about it a lot. Getting over Dad’s death wasn’t something easy, but with a direction to follow, I could pull myself out of my grief, and I tried to be there for Claire and her mom as much as I could. I didn’t know if we were still a family with Dad gone now, but that was what they were to me.
The only family I had left.
One morning, I woke up earlier than Claire to make breakfast for the two of us. A week had already gone by since the burial, and while I thought it was still too early to move on, I knew I couldn’t keep wasting time, like I had when he was still alive.
Ever since I’d gotten out of prison, I’d known I would have to look for a job to look after myself. Now, I wasn’t thinking only of looking after myself, but Claire, too. So I would definitely need to find work. It felt like I’d suddenly woken up and could see everything clearly.
I knew what I wanted to do.
Now, I just needed to talk it out with Claire.
Because going on from now on, definitely, it would be her and me together. I would make sure of it.
Claire woke up while I was in the middle of cooking, probably pulled by the scent of food. She was loosely wrapped in a robe, her hair in disarray, a hand covering her mouth as she yawned. She looked half asleep as she walked over to the table and sat down, and I chuckled at the image she made.
It was the first time I’d laughed in a really long time.
“Morning, Claire,” I said gently, setting up the table for us.
She looked at me through half-lidded, drowsy eyes, elbow braced on the table and chin leaning on her hand. She blinked at me, and yawned again.
“You look like you’re in a good mood this morning,” she said with light suspicion, arching an eyebrow at me as she pulled her plate closer to her.
“I can't say I’m in a good mood, but I do want to talk.”
“Oh?” she said, her other eyebrow going up. “What would you like to talk about?”
“I’ve been thinking about the future,” I admitted. “I…want to go back to school.”
She had her fork half way to her mouth, and paused at my words, before slowly lowering her hand. She looked surprised, and I was just glad her expression was looking more animated.
“Are you sure?” she asked.
I nodded slowly. “I’m sure. I quit after high school because I didn’t think there was much point in it. I was good enough at basketball I figured I could work harder and make it to pro. Because the injury happened at the end of school, I already had some colleges after me on a sports scholarship…”
“And with the injury, you lost them all,” she finished.
“Exactly. I didn’t completely neglect my studies, but I wasn’t that great at school stuff. But I can handle community college at least. It won’t be as expensive, either.”
“Do you already know what you plan to do?” she asked curiously in between bites.
“I have an idea,” I murmured, looking down. “Only time will tell if it’s the right thing or not.”
“Just go along with whatever your heart wants you to do,” she encouraged. “That way, you won’t get bored as easily and you might stick it through.”
I mock frowned at her. “You really don’t think much of me, do you?”
She chuckled at me. “What are you talking about? I’m going to back you up, of course. I have complete trust in you.”
I didn’t know if she was teasing or not, but it was decided just like that. And as I went on to focus on going back to school, Claire focused on getting back on her own two feet again, going back to looking for a job.
She looked totally invigorated too, and when I asked why she was different from before, she said cryptically that she was taking a slightly different path from before that would be easier in its own way. I didn’t know much about it, so there wasn’t much help I could give her, but she’d encouraged me at least, and I could only do the same for her.
A few weeks later after Dad’s death. I didn’t hesitate in enrolling in a community college. It wasn’t that great a distance from the apartment, so the commute to and from school wouldn’t be too much of a pain. There was a bus that ran along the route, too, so I wouldn’t always have to waste cash using taxis, or getting Claire to take me.
She backed me up like she said she would, supporting me in big ways and small. When Dad passed away, there had been life insurance that Claire had gone with Hannah to collect, not to men
tion his will. I had a separate account where she’d left funds for me, and I still had the debit card that got topped up each month, and I used it to budget my day to day and other school expenses.
I had an idea what I wanted to do, and when I enrolled, I discussed it with Claire, then with a councilor that worked at the community college I was going to be attending so I would take the right classes.
Community college would go along a lot faster and it wasn’t like I had any big aspirations like Claire, so it would be enough for me.
Even as I started going, it still felt a bit surreal. I never thought I’d be able to pick myself up to this point. I’d thought I was a lost cause, like a lot of people thought after I got out of prison. Hell, before that. But I was doing this for my dad, for his memory.
I wanted to continue his legacy and make him proud. It would have been great if he could have been there to see it, but the least I could do was do good by him now, so I wouldn’t feel too ashamed to face him when I joined him and my mom in the afterlife.
Most of all, I wanted to pick up where Claire and I had left off. We never did get to have that talk to define what we were with each other, but I didn’t think it was something so necessary anymore. We still lived together, and I hoped we would continue to live together. We depended on each other in small ways, taking care of each other, helping each other through our troubles.
Claire felt the same way that I did.
The whole thing was kind of crazy, when I stopped to think about it.
The one person I had ignored for so long turned out to be the woman who was right for me all along, in every way.
I wondered if Dad knew it and if that was the real reason he’d asked Claire to look out for me.
I’ll never get to know.
Still, I could live with that, as long as I got to live with Claire for the rest of my life.
We’d both decided, though we hadn't talked about everything going forward. It was helpful that we didn’t have any other relatives, or friends between us, really. All the ones I’d had before, I pretty much ignored since I left prison. There was still her mom to deal with, but after that, the future was going to be really clear for us.
Chapter Twenty Nine
Claire
I woke up late in the morning. It was something I was growing used to, now that I didn’t have a job to go to. It was a pretty dangerous habit for me to have, since I would end it soon.
Especially since I’d finally hit gold. There was no confirmation yet, but I thought I had a pretty good chance. It had been a while since I’d actually worked, though. Not that I stayed idle while I was unemployed, I did some freelance work that brought in a bit of cash every month, since I had nothing to do at home the days Rogue had to go to school, it kept me from being bored, too.
We had lasted a longer while than I’d initially thought we would, and I didn’t even have to sell the apartment and move into a smaller one for it. though a part of me felt really guilty, using cash from Richard’s will and life insurance that he’d left to my name to keep us afloat, but I liked to think of it as him looking after us from beyond the grave.
The money hadn't run out, because I’d been extra careful with it, but I didn’t want to wait for that, either.
Rogue was working hard for his future, and I couldn’t fall behind him, now could I?
“Why do I feel so fucking tired, though,” I groaned, pulling myself out of bed.
I stumbled my way to the bathroom in the nude. In the bathroom mirror, I could see marks all over my body left from last night. Rogue had been particularly enthusiastic. I was pretty used to it, though, so I just went under the shower.
Ten minutes later, I was back in the room getting dressed. I was looking for a set of underwear to put on, when I came across something else that gave me pause.
Tampons.
Come to think of it, when was the last time I used one? I frowned to myself as I counted on my hands. I was pretty sure it was longer than a month.
Did I miss my period?
Well, it wasn’t exactly impossible. I’d been going through a lot of stressful shit lately, after all. Maybe it was the stress of being out of work? I’d been searching like crazy until about a week ago when I found something I was pretty confident about, so that could be it.
I had to be sure, though. It was too serious for me to be careless about this.
After I got dressed, I left the apartment. I texted Rogue just in case he got back early that I would be out, then headed to Mom’s house. We were all moving on and moving forward, and Mom was no exception. The period where we didn’t talk much was gone now, and we talked pretty often since we were both people without full time jobs, though just like me, she had something she did part time that brought in cash.
She let me into the house with a surprised look. “Honey, I didn’t expect you to come by today.”
“Sorry for coming without calling, but something’s come up.”
“Something important?” she guessed.
I nodded as she led the way to the living room. She had me sit and went to get some juice and snacks for us, then we sat down for a small chat. I waited until we were done with the snacks, then dived into it, telling her about my missed period.
“Oh,” she murmured, blinking at me. “Then…that means you’ve been seeing someone, right?”
I rolled my lips together in place of answering. There was no way I would come right out and say it, that I’d been sleeping with Rogue the whole time.
“First of all, we need to do a test. You can see a doctor afterwards, but pregnancy tests can be really accurate.”
We left the house, to a small supermarket a walking distance from her house. She helped me pick a test, and we paid for it then went back for me to use it.
Less than half an hour from when I appeared in her apartment, I had my answer.
It was positive.
Fuck.
Actually, a part of me was surprised it hadn't happened earlier, because Rogue and I hadn't bothered about any form of contraceptives ever since the first time. I thought about it, then I forgot. And in all the time we’d been sleeping together, I didn’t take contraceptive pills, and only used condoms a few times when I couldn’t be bothered with the mess, though we’d just forget all about them soon after. Maybe it said something about my fertility that it took this long for me to get pregnant.
What now?
“You look like you’re about to implode,” Mom said, only a hint of humor in her voice.
“Do I?” I muttered, not in the mood to laugh.
She sighed. “I can't believe this is happening to my baby girl.”
“I’m an adult, Mom, it was going to happen sooner or later,” I said distractedly, trying to soothe her while at the same time trying to tell myself that everything was just fine.
“I know that, honey. You never expressed much interest in children, but I had hoped. Still, you don’t look like you were expecting this to happen.”
I chewed down on my lip.
“Oh, honey,” she crooned. “You just weren’t careful, huh? Well, I hope you know you’re not running away from this responsibility, I won’t let you. But since you know nothing and you’ll be starting work anyway, there’s no choice. You’ll have to move in with me so I can help you.”
I blinked up at my mom, not comprehending what she was saying. “Mom, what about my apartment? I don’t need to move in with you, I’m perfectly fine by myself.”
“Do you know the first things about looking after a baby?” she challenged.
I kept silent.
“And what about work? Are you going to give it up and become a mother full time? Because that is what a baby will need, a lot of attention. And don’t even think of hiring a nanny when I’m here.”
I ducked my head down, knowing it was impossible. I might be starting up a new job in less than two months, if things went well. A kid…after nine months before it’s born, would need me for at least the first
year and a half at home full time, even longer. And hiring a nanny didn’t make sense when I didn’t need the extra expense.
“Then just move in. And by the looks of things, Rogue might have to move in here as well,” she added absently. “He’s going to be studying, after all, and my house is closer to his college than your apartment. It makes perfect sense.”
I hated to admit that she was right, but part of me wondered if we would be helping her as much as she’d be helping us. After all, no more did she have Richard in the house, she must have been lonely and it would help us financially as Rogue was getting on his feet. I just didn’t expect a baby to come into the picture, but then again neither did he.
Chapter Thirty
Rogue
“Say what?”
I was still a bit dazed from Claire’s confession.
“I told you to sit down. But you insisted on standing,” she said as we stood in the living room. I came home and thought that I’ll bring her something that I made this afternoon. It was the best Bouillabaisse that I'd ever made and she was a fan of French cuisine, so I brought it home in between class.
“I’m pregnant. We’re going to have a baby.”
It was as if she’d rehearsed the speech as she said it, over and over again.
We were going to be parents.
I was going to be a dad.
Shit!
“Great,” I said as I lifted her up and hugged her. Fuck, I wish that I was taking acting classes and not culinary, because I was fucking panicking, but I didn’t want her to worry. I wasn’t going to run away from this, but it was a little much to take in. I never thought of becoming a dad, so something like this being sprung at me out of nowhere would obviously be a shock.
It was definitely my responsibility, and I really wanted to be with Claire, so there was nowhere to run, anyway.
She pulled away from me, “There's something else.”
Bad Apple: A Stepbrother Romance (Devils & Angels Book 1) Page 13