by C. R. Jane
With my past haunting me, all that was left for me to desperately hold onto some normalcy in life and to some reason to keep fighting. Anger and fear tangled inside me, but another emotion had entered the battleground and seemed to be winning. Hopelessness.
3
Wilder
I paced outside the inn, listening to the sounds coming from within and resisting the urge to tear the front door off the handles and throw it at the next guy’s voice I heard.
Rune was in there.
And I was out here, going out of my mind. My skin felt itchy, like something was crawling underneath it. Almost how it had felt right before my first shift.
My wolf had long since settled, most of the time feeling one with me instead of a separate entity. But right now…my wolf was on its own, bucking at my insides as he tried to convince me I needed to go inside.
What if she was with another man? The thought felt like a knife burning through my insides. I could just picture her, sitting by the bar, sipping her drink with that sweet little smile of hers. The one that had every wolf in this village wanting to come out here.
Was she wearing a flirty, little dress where every male in the place could have a nice, long look at those fucking sexy legs of hers? Were they imagining those legs wrapped around them?
The thought was too much for me. If it had been a full moon, I would have shifted right now. She was mine. Ours, my wolf stubbornly insisted.
Fuck. No. She wasn’t mine.
That lie was enough to make me lose control. A snarl ripped through my chest, and I punched the heavy wooden door, barely feeling the shards cutting at my skin. The door flew open, pieces of wood flying everywhere. I stormed inside, ready to rip Rune from the arms of the stupid man with a death wish that she was with.
There was no sign of Rune, however. There were just a bunch of flabbergasted members of my pack looking at me like I’d lost my mind.
Which I had. Obviously.
Jim was behind the bar, frozen in place, a scowl all over his face since I’d just somehow managed to punch a hole through his extremely thick front door. Which honestly in retrospect, was shocking even to me. I knew I was strong…but not that strong.
Rune. The urge to see her nearly knocked me over. I looked around the room, desperate to see her. It wasn’t a want, it was a need at this point. A compulsion.
A thought crossed my mind. A ridiculous thought. One that filled me with dread. If I was in control of myself at all at this moment, I would be running away as far as I could. I would never set eyes on Rune again.
But I wasn’t in control anymore, was I?
When I saw she wasn’t anywhere, my gaze flickered to the staircase, wondering how crazy it would be if I went up to her room. Just to check on her of course. That’s all it would be.
Because what I thought was happening, it wasn’t happening. I wouldn’t let it happen.
I stumbled towards the stairs, feeling like I was drunk…wishing I was drunk and that could explain how out of control I was.
I made it to the landing and gripped the handrail like it could prevent me from going further forward. I reluctantly let go when the bearings that connected the railing to the wall started to groan as they threatened to give way. I was already going to have to make sure Jim and Carrie got a new front door. I probably shouldn’t make it a stair rail as well.
It felt like my wolf was dragging me towards Rune’s door. Terror, desire…fear, they were all coursing through my veins.
I pounded on the door, furious with myself, but unable to drag my body away.
Just a look, I told myself. I just needed to look at her. Then I could leave.
My wolf rumbled under my skin, almost like he was laughing at me. The asshole.
“Open the door, Rune. It’s me, Wilder,” I practically growled. I cringed at what a psycho I sounded like. But this was her fault! She was the one doing this to me.
There was a long pause, and I literally had to clench my fists to prevent myself from pounding on the door again and demanding that she let me in.
Finally, she opened it. I exhaled a breath of relief as I soaked her in. Fuck, she was the most stunning thing I’d ever fucking seen in my life.
Mine, my wolf reminded me.
“Wilder?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. I realized she must have asked me something, and I’d been too busy devouring every perfect feature on her body to hear it.
“Um, hey,” I responded lamely.
We both stood there awkwardly, until finally, she swung the door farther open. My insides erupted into flames as she motioned for me to step inside.
“Wilder, what are you doing here?” she said softly. Rune looked exhausted. Peering at her closer, I could tell she had dark circles under her eyes, like she hadn’t been sleeping.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, intentionally not answering her question.
She fidgeted in place and let out a soft breath. “Nothing,” she lied.
Awkward silence once again descended.
My gaze continued to eat her up. Fuck, I wanted her so bad. I could picture every inch of her body naked right now. I began to grow painfully hard just thinking about what it had been like to touch her last time. Her eyes widened as she delicately sniffed the air. Hmm, she could smell my lust. We’d have to examine that closer later. Because right now…
Rune caught me completely off guard when she suddenly leaped forward and lifted her face to mine and kissed me. What little was left of my self-control snapped with the simple caress of her mouth. A growl ripped free from my throat, and I parted her lips with my tongue, licking into the sweetness. Fuck, I couldn’t get enough. She tasted like strawberries, and fuck me, the scent of vanilla and caramel wrapped around me until all I could breathe was her.
She moaned softly as she melted against me. Her hands stroked up my chest, the feel of her sending sparks across my skin. My heart stuttered as I gripped her ass in my hands and lifted her so I could kiss her deeper, slanting my mouth over hers again and again as I carried her to the bed on the other side of the room. I sat her gently down on it and leaned forward over her as her legs wrapped around my waist.
Heat seared me through my clothes. It was like our combined lust had transformed into flames that were determined to burn me from the inside out. My cock screamed for relief.
“Wilder,” she groaned against my lips. I tangled a hand into her silky hair and kissed her harder, pressing myself against her like I could somehow convince her to be permanently attached to me.
That wasn’t a weird thing to think at all.
Kissing her felt dangerous. Everything about her felt dangerous right now though. This pull I was feeling, it had the power to destroy me. To destroy everything I’d worked so hard to build my whole life. I could already feel her taking over, her essence spreading through me until I knew she was all I’d care about eventually.
It was already happening.
She gripped my hair, using it to hold me to her as I kissed her over and over, driving every breathless sigh I could from her lungs with swirls and slides of my tongue.
Don’t go any further. Keep your clothes on. I repeated the mantra, keeping my mouth on hers, but it didn’t stop my body from getting desperate for the need to feel more of her. Her hips rocked into mine, and I shivered, unable to stop myself from sliding my hand under her dress and up her thigh. I couldn’t do anything but groan as my wolf waged a war inside of me to do more…to claim her.
My mate.
Her skin was the stuff of wet dreams, so soft and smooth, I was half convinced that she couldn’t be real. I had the insane urge to mar her skin, to mark it with my bites so that everyone could see she belonged to me.
“Rune,” I groaned, tugging her closer, grinding myself against the soft heat between her thighs, the ache of wanting her almost too much.
Every touch was like a drug, triggering some undeniable, primal possessiveness that threatened to rage out of control.
I neede
d to stop, take a step back, breathe some fresh air that didn’t fucking consist of her scent alone. I was going to do something crazy, like actually bite her. My eyes rolled to the back of my head just thinking about it.
Claim her, my wolf ordered, snarling at me to just do it. I pulled back from the kiss, my breath coming out in gasps. How was it possible I felt this turned on, and we hadn’t done anything yet aside from kiss?
Mate, the voice inside of me screamed again. The word burned inside of me. I’d known I wanted her. I’d known that I was growing more and more obsessed with her every day. But there was a difference between choosing to be with someone you were crazy about, and suddenly having to be with someone you were crazy about because you didn’t have any other choice.
“Why are you stopping?” she whispered, chasing my lips with her own.
“I shouldn’t be here,” I groaned, even as I sipped from her lips like they were some exotic wine. I rolled my hips against hers again, wishing the layers of fabric between us would simply disappear.
“Probably not,” she agreed, but she made no move to push me away. If anything, she pulled me closer, like she was just as desperate for me as I was for her. Which honestly didn’t seem possible because I couldn’t imagine any other person being capable of wanting something as much as this.
She pulled back a bit, those piercing blue eyes locked with mine, her lips parted and swollen from my kisses.
“More,” she murmured. My grip tightened on her thigh, my thumb traveling to graze the edge of what felt like lace.
“It’s different this time,” I said, trying to warn her, knowing she would have to be the one to stop us. My mouth was literally throbbing at the thought of giving her a mating mark. And we needed to talk about it first, but I was having trouble thinking of anything but the fact that she smelled so fucking good, she kissed so fucking good, she felt so fucking good.
“I just want to feel you. I need to feel you,” Rune moaned, and my heartbeat got faster because she sounded desperate too. Maybe she was feeling what I was.
Except I didn’t want that. Had never wanted that.
Her lips passed over mine again, and once again, my thoughts drifted away. Rune cradled the back of my head as if I was something precious and drew me closer. My lips brushed her skin, and I kissed her gently as need roared within me.
“Make me feel,” she ordered. “Make me forget.” Her second statement was so soft, it was almost unspoken, but of course with my wolf senses, I heard every word. My insides dropped at her words. Was she here with me? Or was she thinking of someone else right now, just using me to get off since she couldn’t have him?
When exactly had I turned into such a pussy?
Determination scored through my veins. I didn’t care if she was thinking of someone else. By the end of this, she would only be thinking of me, dreaming of me, craving me…just as much as I craved her.
Her heartbeat quickened, as if she could sense what I was thinking, but her grip only tightened. Her hips undulated against mine frantically. My cock strained against my pants. I really needed to rethink skinny jeans after this. Maybe get off the wannabe rocker look I’d been trying the last fifty years. My balls would probably thank me.
I wanted to consume her in every way, to bury myself deep inside her. My hand slid between her thighs, and she parted them wider, urging me closer. My thumb pressed into her cleft through her underwear, and I growled without breaking my hold, the sound low and deep in my chest. She wasn’t just wet, she was soaked through the fabric of her panties. I pushed the lace against her clit, and she gasped. Her kiss turned even sweeter and more addictive as her desperation grew. I moved my thumb in a steady rhythm that echoed her soft moans and the brush of our lips. I hoisted her up in my arms, and her thighs tightened around my hips.
“Wilder…please.” She ran her hand under my shirt, her fingers stroking up over my abs to my chest. She chanted my name, and I scraped my nail across the fabric covering her, eliciting another fucking gorgeous gasp.
I pinched, and she groaned, her thighs trembling. I pressed and rubbed, and she came apart, screaming my name and going limp against me.
Her body still shuddered as I set her down and then sank to my knees in front of her, tracing the band of her underwear with my tongue. The scent of her drove me slowly mad…but what a way to go.
I looked up at her, and she was watching me, that wild look in her gaze like she was either about to run or fucking explode. She gripped the bottom of her dress and slowly, maddeningly, slipped it over her head. The fucking sexiest strip tease I’d ever seen, and she hadn’t even shown me the good stuff yet.
Her breathing was harsh as she reached behind her back. I could hear every single hook slip free as she removed her bra and dropped it to the ground beside us.
“I feel like I’m dying when I look at you,” I growled, my voice almost unrecognizable it was so heavy with lust. “You’re so fucking perfect. An angel sent to drag me down to hell.”
Her breasts swayed above me, just begging to be played with, as Rune slid the red thong she was wearing down her legs achingly slow.
Finally, they fell to the ground and she was naked.
Mine, my wolf growled, and this time, I wanted to argue with him because the goddess standing in front of me was most assuredly mine.
She stared down at me, almost challenging, like she could sense my turmoil and desire and she was trying to see how far she could push me towards the edge.
The need to claim her in every way possible spiked through my body, pushing away absolutely every fucking rational thought I’d had about what was happening.
I grabbed her hips and buried my face between her thighs, stabbing my tongue through her folds to taste her. I moaned, long and loud, as she gasped, her nails digging into my shoulders as she gripped me tightly. I pushed her thighs apart for a better angle, then moved my tongue deeper, dragging my tongue over her clit with each slide.
“Wilder!” she practically screamed. That dark voice inside of me wanted to see how loud I could make her, just to make sure anyone who was around knew she was taken.
She began to rock against me, riding my tongue as I spread her with my fingers and stroked and rubbed at her clit. I thrust inside her with first one finger, and then two, stretching her tight muscles with each stroke. Her knees shook, but I still continued to feast on her cries and the fucking perfect taste of her pussy as I added a third finger. She was so wet, I knew I could take her right now and claim her, but some sadistic part of me wanted to see how desperate I could make her.
“Wilder, please.” She collapsed against me as her breath quickened, and the movement of her hips grew frantic.
“You’re almost there, aren’t you, sweetheart?” I murmured against her skin, right as I sucked hard on her clit.
She screamed and came around my fingers in waves. My hand and my mouth were flooded with her sweet taste. I couldn’t help but lick her clean as she came through her orgasm. A moment passed, and she went limp against me. She looked down at me, a smirk on her perfect fucking face as she stared dreamily at me.
“Your mouth is incredible,” she purred. “Every part of you is incredible.”
I kissed her roughly, letting her taste herself, then stood back and quickly stripped out of my clothes. She lay there on the bed, a vision against the pale sheets with her hair strewn everywhere, a flush in her cheeks and her lips swollen and pouty.
“Eat a donut,” she murmured as her gaze ate me up as I stalked across the bed to hover over her. “You’re making the rest of us look bad.”
Her fingers began to explore the lines of my chest and stomach. She followed her fingers with her tongue, and I bit down on my lip, trying to quell the urge to take over and rut into her. Her hands eventually reached my cock, and I cursed as her fingers wrapped around my dick. Just that single touch was enough to send pleasure ripping down my spine, the intensity of it a warning of just how close I was to losing my control.
My wolf let out a frustrated growl inside of me, and I closed my eyes and tried to count to ten to get ahold of myself.
“Rune, I think I’m going to have to let you play later,” I warned.
“Now that doesn’t sound fun,” she said wickedly. My eyes widened at the sass my shy girl was giving me. Half the time, I felt like she was trying to hide away in the shadows, and I had to drag her to my side. I pinned her wrists above her head with one hand and gave her a low growl that cut off her cute giggle.
Did I just say cute? Fuck. She was ruining me.
Mate, my wolf reminded me again.
“Behave,” I warned her. “I’m too close.” I knew she interpreted my statement as meaning I was going to blow at any second…which could have been the truth too. But I really meant that it was taking everything inside of me not to bite into her pretty skin and claim her as my mate once and for all.
My eyes dropped to the sensual lines of her throat and shoulder. I shook my head, trying to clear the haze of lust settling over me. Rune parted her thighs, and I sank between them, savoring the thread of anticipation slicing down my spine at what was about to come.
I gave her one more deep kiss on her lips before I began to kiss my way down her neck, licking and nibbling at her skin until she was once more panting and writhing beneath me.
“Please, please, please,” she pleaded, shaking her head as she tried to use her legs to get me where she wanted me.
I released her hands, and her fingers immediately stroked over my shoulders, my arms, anywhere she could reach. “Are you mine, my pretty girl?” I asked as I lazily ran my tongue over her nipple, then sucked it into my mouth.
She groaned, rocking her hips. “I hate you,” she breathed. I just chuckled darkly as I shook my head, then moved to her other breast, sucking at her nipple with my mouth and tongue before lifting my head.
Her eyes were glittering with desperate need.
“You should try begging some more,” I teased as I worked her breasts until she was arching towards me and her peaks were swollen and red.