by Eden Beck
I smile at him. I can’t help it. He might be a bully and a jerk when we’re doing anything else, anywhere else, but in this room, at this desk, at this moment, he’s actually being genuine. I’m not going to let it pass unnoticed.
“No problem,” I say with real gratitude. It’s nice to be appreciated, especially by someone who has been so awful to me up to now. I’m so swept away by the moment that I forget I’m supposed to hate him, and add, “Besides, you aren’t an idiot. You just have strengths that lie … elsewhere.”
Wills gives me a smile, and then much to my surprise, lifts his hand and closes his fingers around a thick strand of loose hair by my face. He slides his fingertips down it slowly, and then pushes it behind my shoulder. It’s such an intimate touch that I don’t know how to respond to it at all.
With a half-smile he nods at me. “Maybe it’s worth keeping you around after all, Sadie.”
For one second it feels like we’re actually friends, and it’s so bizarre that I don’t know how to respond.
“Well, I’ll let you get back to work,” I say awkwardly. I push my desk away and pretend to keep organizing my books until the bell rings and I can get the hell out of here.
I’m nearly halfway down the hall when I hear him call after me. I turn to look back and he waves at me before disappearing into the steady stream of people coursing through the hallways.
Now I know something’s up with the holy trinity. First Astor asks me about whether or not I have a boyfriend, and in a decent way without being his usual horrible self, and then Wills is actually nice to me. Tender, even. It’s as far out of character for both of them as can be. It only leaves me even more suspicious when Wills stops to help me undo a tangle of knots during sailing class. He doesn’t say anything, just unknots something that would have taken me the whole hour and then saunters off without a word.
I’m almost looking forward to seeing Blair in my next two classes, just so I can get a taste of his normal, flirty self … but he’s conspicuously absent again.
I make it through the rest of my day and with so little friction that I forget to look for Dana before I find a place to sit at dinner. I’m about to set down my tray in the dining hall when Astor suddenly comes up behind me and pulls my chair out for me.
I look up at him in surprise and he just gives me a look. It’s not a smile, but it isn’t a scowl either. I think this must be some kind of prank, so I watch him like a hawk and sit down ever so slowly. But he doesn’t yank the chair out from under me at the last minute, just gives me a gentle yet firm push under the table. He doesn’t even sit beside me, just turns and walks away. Once again, I’m floored.
Victoria appears like a vision and slams her tray of food down beside mine. She plants her hand on her hip and gives me an evil glare.
“What’s up, Victoria?” I ask, wondering how much of that she just saw.
“What was that little stunt just now?” she snaps at me.
I frown in confusion. “I’m sorry … stunt? What are you talking about?”
She flings both of her hands up into the air angrily. “That little thing you just pulled with Astor! What in the hell is going on between you two? I thought you hated him!”
She’s seriously fuming.
“Hey, as far as I know, Astor does hate me, and I feel pretty much the same about him.” That’s the truth. I glance at his still-retreating back. “He’s just playing some kind of game.”
She narrows her eyes into razor blade slits and leans down close to me, face to face. “You listen to me, Sadie White, and you listen good. I took you under my wing when you got here. You owe me! I’m a damn saint for doing all that I did to help you when you got here, and now this is how you repay me?”
I stare at her, wondering what the hell she is going off about. First of all … the only thing she’s ‘done for me’ is use me to get closer to Astor. That and help haze me. It takes everything in me to hold my tongue as the rampage continues.
She doesn’t even stop to take a breath. “You know I like Astor! He’s mine! You got that? That boy is mine!”
I’ve seen this sort of thing before, but it’s never been aimed at me.
I hold up my hands as a gesture of surrender. “And you can have him. Please.”
I tilt my body to face slightly away from her and start peeling back a yogurt lid. She doesn’t get the point. Victoria just slides across to the other side of the table and leans in again, her eyes bright and dangerous.
“Now I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing at here, but you better knock it off now! Got it?”
Can I just eat the damn pudding cup in peace? I feel the fight rising in me and I struggle to control it and remember to be Sadie, and not Teddy.
I give her a stern look, and I speak with an unrelenting voice.
“Listen here, Victoria,” I begin, trying to keep my cool as much as I can, “I didn’t go after him! I am not seeking him out. So back off, okay? You want Astor? Have him. He’s all yours.”
She blinks in surprise. I can see clearly that she wasn’t expecting that kind of a response from me at all. I’ve been careful with her so far, and I’m guessing she isn’t used to people telling her how it is. It’s all fine once … but I shouldn’t make a habit of it. She doesn’t strike me as the type to put up with it for long.
“Fine,” she snaps once more, and then she grabs her tray and turns on her heel to leave. I watch her go and begin to wonder if everyone in the school has lost their mind. Astor, then Wills, and now Victoria thinks I’m after Astor? They’re all out of their minds.
Victoria is almost as obsessed with Astor as Dana is obsessed with Victoria. I really can’t see what any of them see in each other.
Well, maybe that isn’t entirely true.
I do have to admit, as I take a bite and chew thoughtfully, that Astor is incredibly beautiful. More than beautiful, he’s hot. If he wasn’t such a complete jerk then Victoria might well have a bit of competition on her hands. But he is, and she doesn’t.
And I don’t see that changing any time soon.
Chapter 11
I don’t see Blair again until lunch the following day. I hadn’t even realized I was looking for him until the sound of his voice makes a part of me perk up that I wish didn’t exist.
He materializes between me and Dana sinks down onto the bench so close to me that I can feel the heat coming off his body. He slides his elbow over the table and rests his head in his hand, eyeing me with a seductive smile.
“Hey Bunny.” His voice is black velvet.
I’ve never seen Dana move so fast in my life. One minute she’s eating a burger with two hands beside me, the next she’s just a swish of dark hair on her way out the hall. She’s going to pay for abandoning me like this.
Before he can even start with me, I give him a dark look. I can’t just run away like Dana.
Besides, of all the boys, I might actually be able to get a … somewhat … straight answer from Blair about just what the heck is going on.
First thing’s first.
“Are you always in on Astor’s pranks?”
He looks confused. “Pranks? I don’t know what—”
I cut him off. I can’t let his silver tongue make me forget what I’m trying to say here.
“That day that my paper went missing, you were behind that weren’t you?” I say, completely blunt.
He doesn’t react at all; his expression remains casual and cool. He only smiles a little.
“Oh, did Astor take it while I was talking to you?” he asks, sounding less than lukewarm in his interest.
I can feel irritation bubbling up inside me. I know better.
“You got me detention because you were distracting me. A detention, I might remind you, that you didn’t even attend.”
He leans forward and runs a fingertip over my forearm. “Do I distract you? Because I’d certainly like to.”
I yank my arm away and knit my brow at him. “If you’re going
to be that way, then I have nothing to say to you.”
He looks at me with a half-cocked smile. “Fine. I was there because you were there.”
“No kidding,” I reply coldly. “But were you also there to help Astor get me into trouble?”
Blair shrugs one shoulder and smiles a little. “What if I was? Was it so bad? Astor’s just teasing you. You’re a strong girl. You can take it. In fact, if you play along, you might even like it.”
He tries to lean in for another kiss on the cheek, but once again Mr. Davis just happens to be walking by and catches him before it actually happens. Not that it would have.
“Blair! Sadie!” He glares at both of us, but he glares at me longer. “My office again. Tonight.” He points a finger at Blair. “And you better actually show up this time.”
I slap my palms down on the table in frustration as soon as his back is turned.
“Are you kidding me?”
Blair just chuckles. “Sorry Bunny … I can’t help it.”
Some of the anger ebbs in me as I realize Blair is right. He can’t help it. He can’t change.
I know he’s not going to quit playing games with me. It’s a fascination for him. He just loves to be bad.
I stand up and shake my head. “I’m done,” I say, and he vaults to his feet as his hand shoots out, slipping around my waist and pulling me tight against him.
“Come on, detention isn’t so bad. Let me make it up to you,” he murmurs in a low voice, so close to my face. His mischievous green eyes are burning into mine.
“You’ve got a lot of making up to do, and none of it is going to be like this,” I smart off to him, wishing he didn’t make every part of me suddenly heat up at his touch. “I’ll see you in detention.”
I push him away and he stares after me hungrily for a moment, and then his face brightens, and he laughs. “It’s a date, Bunny.”
I shake my head and groan. He’s the height of frustration, or maybe he shares that spot with his two buddies. At this point I’m just trying to get through each day. I’m about to head to class when Victoria intercepts my path and turns me on the spot, nearly making me drop my books.
“You have to come with me,” she insists as she steers me down the hall in the opposite direction.
“What? Where are you taking me?” I ask, bewildered. “I thought you were mad at me!” I know she was. I haven’t ever seen a girl so jealous as she was when Astor pulled my chair out for me yesterday.
Victoria scoffs and flips her hair indifferently. “Mad? No. We’re way past that, Sadiecakes. Let’s live in the present, and presently, we are headed out for some fun because it’s a nice, sunny afternoon, and we’re not going to have many more of those before it starts getting cold.”
I frown as I glance back over my shoulder at the thinning crowd in the hallway, knowing that even if I turned around right now, I’d be late for my class. “I can’t—” I begin, but she stops me.
“Oh yes, you can. Stop being such a goody-goody. Lighten up and have some fun. We are young and beautiful, wild and free. So we’re taking full advantage of it. Your books can wait.” Victoria drags me out of the building and across the back field into the woods.
I’m skipping class. I can’t believe I’m skipping class, and when she finally let’s go of me, I see that not only are we skipping, we’re drinking wine coolers with Laura, Alisha, and a few other members of the gang. Wills is there, and he gives me a long look and a small smile before tipping his wine cooler back and taking a long pull on it. At least I won’t be the only one missing an afternoon on the lake.
Victoria pushes a watermelon wine cooler into my hand, and I look down at it with uncertainty. I should be in class. I should be earning good grades. I should not be out in the woods during school hours with a group of the popular kids, drinking wine coolers. Not, at the very least, after what they did the last time.
Victoria looks at me expectantly, and I see most of the others doing the same. They’re waiting to see if I will be one of them, or if I will sever the social bonds I’ve been working so hard to build. I don’t what the lighthouse stunt to be for nothing, so I tip the bottle back and take a swig. Everyone smiles and laughs, some of them toasting me.
I’m becoming one of them. It’s a strange place to me; somewhere I’ve definitely never been. All my reservations start to slip away, and even though I should be keeping my guard up more than ever, the sense of belonging is too intoxicating.
One wine cooler turns into several, and before I know it, one skipped class turns into the entire afternoon. It isn’t until I see Blair and Astor coming through the trees with their band of followers that I realize I must have already missed detention too. Panic hits my heart like a shot, and I jump to my feet.
“Blair!” I wave at him until he spots me, but when I tell him he just laughs and blows me a little kiss.
Astor gives me a cold look and calls out with a snide attitude, “Maybe if you weren’t such a little delinquent it wouldn’t be a problem to begin with.”
Victoria steps up slightly to stand between us and laughs him off. “Oh, Astor. Leave her alone. Hasn’t she done enough already?”
If only he knew how serious she is when she tells him to back off. Astor just gives me a long look over her shoulder and then turns to face the growing group of kids. He waves his hand at the two younger boys behind him who look at him like he’s a god; Chris Hardy and Drake Gordon. They’re both carrying several bags.
“Chris! Drake!” he begins dramatically as he holds his arms out like he’s on an invisible cross. “Feed my people!”
Chris and Drake immediately dig into the bags and start passing out burgers and fries to everyone, and of course everyone is hungry. We’re a bunch of teenagers out here drinking for hours on empty stomachs. We’d still be hungry if we just ate.
Drake is about to hand me a sandwich when Astor stops him. My heart sinks immediately, but before I have time to mourn the next step in this weird hazing ritual, Astor is already holding out another bag.
“I’ve got this one,” he says, kneeling to grab out a thick burger and a fat bag of fries. He looks up at me as he hands over the food, his eyes steady on mine. “Extra cheese, with mustard, no onion, right?”
My mouth falls open a little as I reach up and take the food from him. “How … how do you know that?”
The corner of his mouth turns up slightly. “I have my ways.”
“Thanks.” I mean it, but I’m totally confused by his behaviors. Two seconds ago he was giving me stink eye. Now he’s crouched next to me handing me a burger made especially for me. “Um … are you mad at me or … what, because I’m kind of getting whiplash here.” I eye the burger suspiciously. “Did you do something to it?”
He narrows his eyes at me. “A little gratitude right now would not go amiss.”
I sniff the burger, and it smells amazing. Even if he did do something to it I’m not sure I’m sober enough to care. My stomach growls in agreement, and I sigh.
“Thank you, Astor.”
A smug smile forms over his face and he stands back up. “That’s more like it.”
He strides away, and I watch him go as emotions clash wildly in me. I hate him and I want to punch him, at the same time when he’s being nice, there’s something deep in me that is totally into him.
No, I tell myself, It’s just the alcohol talking.
But is it?
Afternoon fades away and night falls. A headache starts pounding at my head and I know I’ve had more than enough. I’ve been drinking wine coolers in the warm sun all afternoon. It’s no idea my head is rebelling. I think I should tell Victoria that it’s time I got back, but she’s trying to talk to Astor. He’s ignoring her as usual while he listens to Blair regaling the more experienced drinking party with a crazy story.
I guess I don’t need to let anyone know what I’m doing. I start to head back through the trees and I’m just about to the edge of the trees when I hear someone behind me. It
’s dark enough that it takes a few seconds for me to make out who it is. Then he steps out into a sliver of light from one of the lamps along the edge of the forest, and I’m surprised to see Wills coming toward me.
I stop and look at him curiously. “Hey, Wills. What’s up?”
He has a serious expression on his face. “You shouldn’t be going back alone. Not when you’ve been drinking.”
A warm sensation washes over me, and I smile at him. I could get used to this softer side of Wills. He shrugs off my thanks and acts like it’s nothing, but he stays by my side all the way back to the school and back to my dorm room.
I turn to thank him again and he raises his hand and sets it on the door frame behind me, leaving little space between him and me … and even less between me and the door. He’s so close to me that I can breathe him in. I look up and see his stormy-blue green eyes focused with an intensity I’ve only seen once before—when he’d just rescued me from drowning.
His gaze drops to my mouth for a moment, and his lips part before he raises his eyes to meet mine again. I feel almost certain that he’s thinking of kissing me. I’m not at all sure how I feel about that.
“Um …” My nerves tighten everywhere, and my breath grows shallow. “Thank you for walking me back,” I say, just above a whisper. I have no idea where my voice has gone.
“No problem,” he says quietly, staring into my eyes. I can’t breathe. He smiles a little and reaches his free hand up to my face, tracing a single fingertip across my cheek and very lightly over my lips, before he drops his hand. “You have a good night.” He stands up straight again and lets his other hand fall from the door frame.
My heart is beating wildly in me, and I try to draw in a steady breath as I nod at him.
“You too.”
I make myself turn away from him and open the door. I don’t hear him walk away until after the door is closed.
It’s dark in the room. I try to walk quietly to my bed, but I trip over a pair of shoes I must have left out and stumble, landing on the floor with a thump before climbing up to my bed. Dana rolls over and flips on the little light by her bed, and I can see that she’s upset.