by Eden Beck
“I’m really glad you came.”
“I really did it for Dana,” I say, turning around only to find that she’s already disappeared somewhere. So much for having my back, I guess. “I wouldn’t have had the energy without the, um, thing you gave me earlier.”
Something shifts in his expression. “Did you just take one now?”
“One?” I say, “I took three. Was I not supposed to?” My heart has started racing again. I’ve been feeling a little lightheaded to begin with, but I thought it was just nerves.
He’s quick to reassure me. “That’s fine. Just … be careful about how much you drink, okay? I don’t want you blacking out after two beers. That wouldn’t be any fun.”
He flashes an exceptionally wolfish grin, but I can see that he really means it. I didn’t plan on getting drunk anyway, but I’m touched that he’s looking out for me. My earlier hesitation melts a bit, and I’m starting to wonder if all that nastiness could really be behind us now.
I give him a smile and I can see him relax some. I’m surprised to see that he was worried about me.
“Good. Gotta take care of my girl. Come here,” he coos to me invitingly as he takes my hands and begins to pull me away from the foyer where we’re standing.
I shake my head. “I can’t. I came with Dana.” I turn around in a circle, trying to spot her in the crowd.
She is staring wide-eyed at everything and everyone around us.
Blair just starts tugging me down the hall. “Don’t worry about your friend. I saw her heading out back to see the rest of the place. They turned the pool into a death bog ... but that hasn’t stopped Wills from swimming in it.”
I catch a glimpse of her outside, a cup already in hand, prodding one of the lily pads in the pool to see if it’s real. I can’t help but smile a little.
Blair doesn’t stop moving until he’s pulled me into a dark corner at the back of the house.
“And what are we doing over here?” I ask warily.
He gives me a tender look. It’s an expression I haven’t seen on his face before.
“I just wanted to have you to myself for a few minutes. Everyone’s going to want to see you, but I wanted you first.”
“For what?” I ask hesitantly.
“I want to apologize for what happened with the photos. I didn’t mean for it to go that far. It was just supposed to be a joke … just some fun.” He looks truly sorry, and I can feel the last little bit of indecision in me dissipating.
“It was horrible,” I tell him. “You’ve no idea.”
He nods. “I know. I’m going to make it up to you.”
“Yeah? How are you going to do that?”
Blair slides his hands over the sides of my face and brings his mouth to mine, whispering on my lips before he kisses me. “I’m going to start here.” And then it’s nothing but warmth and softness, sweetness, and electricity moving all through me as our kiss begins to deepen a little.
He’s taking his time, enjoying it, and I like it that he’s not in a passionate rush the way he was the last time when we were on the sofa. This isn’t for show, or photos, or even in hopes of something more. This is just … it. And it’s fucking fantastic.
I’m nearly lost in him when I hear Wills’ voice behind me, and I feel his hands close over my shoulders. He pulls me back gently, out of Blair’s arms and Blair shoots him a dirty look.
“We’re occupying this corner. No interruptions allowed,” he says.
“Sorry. You’re hogging the guest of honor. It’s my turn.” Wills laughs and takes my hand. I can see right away that Blair wasn’t kidding when he said Wills went for a swim. Whatever his costume was, it’s drowned out by the fact that he’s streaked brownish green from head to toe.
I’m sure my dress is already showing signs of our brief interaction.
“Come on, Blondie. I need a partner for beer pong.” He trails me along with him, and I look back over my shoulder to see Blair pouting. He’s not happy.
We pass Astor along the way. He’s holding court with a small group of our classmates; standing in the limelight as he loves to do, the center of attention, regaling them all with his wit and wonder. He glances up and sees me, and for a moment he stops talking and just stares.
There’s some kind of strange connection between us, and I can feel it. It’s a tension I don’t understand, and I think it ties into why he’s so hot and cold with me, but I’ll probably never know.
He breaks the gaze and turns his attention back to his followers. Just before Wills takes me through the next doorway, I see him shoot one more quick glance in my direction and I feel a little sorry that things aren’t good between us. I want to know why he’s kissed me twice, and why in between the kisses he just keeps on ignoring me like I don’t even exist. He’s at war with himself over me and I don’t understand why.
Wills finally stops in front of a table set up for beer pong.
“I think it’s only fair to warn you that I’m only staying for a little while,” I say quickly to Wills as he starts organizing a full-blown pong tournament.
Victoria walks in with an irritated look on her face and she stops short when she sees Wills standing behind me with his arms draped around my neck in a loose embrace. He leans down and kisses my cheek softly, and then says something to the guys he’s standing next to.
I’d like to say I’m surprised, but these three boys have stopped surprising me. There are no boundaries with them, and I’ve kind of learned that if I’m going to be around them, they’re not going to play by any rules that I know.
Victoria stops in front of me and gives me an icy look. “You’ve just got to have them all, don’t you?”
I blink in surprise. “What are you talking about?”
“Oh, don’t give me that innocent act. I saw you kissing Blair in the other room, and I was standing right there with Astor when you came through the room and you two couldn’t keep your eyes off each other. Now here you are all wrapped up in Wills’ arms?”
She shakes her head and glowers.
“Hey, it’s my turn with her,” Wills announces over my shoulder to Victoria. “Back off.”
Victoria is taken aback slightly, and her attitude softens. She doesn’t stand up to the boys … but the boys have never defended me to her either. None of them have ever been protective of me before.
She just stands there awkwardly as Wills starts wrangling beers for us to start. I have to tap him several times on the shoulder before he stops and looks down at me, so I can tell him to just get me a water. I’ve played this game before. It’s not a good place to start if you’re trying to take it easy.
Wills has no problem with the suggestion, but Victoria is another matter.
She cocks and eyebrow at me. “So, you’re telling me you came all the way out here, and you aren’t even going to have a drink?”
I shake my head and Wills lets go of me to take his turn at the table. “Not tonight. I have a midterm I have to study for.”
“Ah well … that’s no fun,” she sticks her lower lip out in a pout. “But if you’re determined, I did make up some punch to keep everyone hydrated.” She leans in a little closer. “Between you and me, it’s loaded with CBD to take the edge off some of the stoners.”
Well that explains the smell coming from the back porch.
She walks over to the counter where a massive metal tub is filled with red liquid. She dips a plastic cup in it and brings it to me, careful not to spill it over the top.
“It would be a lot more fun if you were drinking, but to each her own I guess,” she says.
I try to thank her, but she’s already slipping away to look for a more interesting target—probably Astor, if history means anything.
I really expected her to put up more of a fight. Wills taps me on the shoulder and tells me the other team scored and I need to drink, so I do. I’ve had punch before, but never like this. She must have put a lot of CBD oil in it, because the aftertaste is much more bit
ter than I was expecting.
But I don’t have time to think about that. Wills is putting a ball in my hand. It’s my turn to throw, and from the way Wills is talking, it’s basically life and death. I throw. I miss. I drink.
Wills smiles down at me, and there’s nothing hiding there. For the first time, I’m really starting to think the worst is behind us.
Chapter 17
I’ve polished off the entire plastic cup of punch and someone has refilled it for me a second time when Astor finally comes walking in. His eyes are locked on me, and though he comes straight for me, he takes his time going about it so he doesn’t draw too much attention to himself.
“There you are. What have you been up to?” he asks in a quiet tone.
I smile and a giggle escapes me.
“I’m playing beer pong with Wills,” I tell him, and I turn my head and look over at my partner. I feel a little dizzy, but I’m sure it’s probably just the pills I took earlier. I never did remember to ask Blair what kind of effects they’d have on me.
“Beer pong.” Astor eyes his friend and then looks at me and shakes his head. “Come with me.”
Wills is engaged in winning the game. He wins all the sports games he plays, no matter if it’s football, soccer, wrestling, or beer pong. He’s busy tying one on and I realize that he probably won’t notice if I step away with Astor for a few minutes. I drain my cup of punch and hiccup. Astor looks at me and can’t suppress a small laugh.
“You’re drinking the punch huh?” He takes my hand and leads me away into a quieter room. “You wouldn’t catch me drinking that.” He gives the cup a distrustful look.
“It’s not too bad, actually.” I tell him, but he takes it from my hand and sets it on a nearby table.
“Yeah, well, I forget that this is your first time at one of Victoria’s parties. That shit could take down a horse.”
“Sorry, what?” I look up at him and his head is blurry, like he’s swimming, or like I’m swimming and I’m looking at him through the surface of the water. It’s all wrong. I know he shouldn’t look like that, and I shake my head, trying to clear it of the fog that’s gathering there.
“Why …” I try to speak again, but it’s difficult to say any words. “Why do you keep … kissing me?” I ask as I try to focus on him. I sway a little where I stand, and he reaches out to steady me.
Those warm brown eyes of his won’t let out anything that’s going on behind them. He places his finger on that spot just beneath my chin and he lifts my face a little.
“Why does it matter?” he asks quietly, lowering his mouth to mine.
I lose myself in his kiss again, and it’s a deep, long, sensual kiss. Everything in me catches on fire and begins to spin. I close my fingers tighter around his arms to try to hold on, but I’m so dizzy that I can’t seem to right myself.
This melting in his arms when he kisses me is taking a whole new direction. I can’t hold on to him. I have no strength left in my arms. I can’t stand. I have no strength left in my legs. I open my eyes but it makes me sick because everything is swirling in front of me; all around me, and I can’t stop it. The only thing I can do is let go, so I let go.
I drag Astor down to his knees as I sink to the floor in his arms. He holds me tight against him and starts calling out for help.
All I can think about is how loud it is, and how I wish it would just end. Each noise is like a dagger in the side of my head.
He’s so loud. I close my eyes and squint them trying to block out the noise.
There are voices coming up all around me, and I try to focus on them but I can’t hear anyone clearly. I’ve never been so dizzy and so sick in my life. I hear Wills and Blair, and I open my eyes. Their faces are muddled, but close, and I can make them out.
For one second, looking at them now, I’m able to hear them speaking to me. The voice I hear is Blair’s.
“Sadie, Sadie … it’s going to be okay.”
Then someone is calling an ambulance, and I’m being turned over on my side, and all I’m thinking about is that Blair didn’t call me ‘Bunny’. It’s the only time he’s used my name since we first met. Except it’s not my name.
His face is right in mine and his hands are tight on me. They feel like they are the only thing keeping me tethered to the earth. If he wasn’t holding on to me, I might just slip away like a balloon into the sky and sail all the way to the moon.
“SADIE!” Wills yells at me. “Come on! Focus! Stay with us!”
I blink and try to turn my head to look at him, but I can’t find him. “Where are … you?” I mumble. “Everything … is so … dark.”
And that’s when I give in. I just let the darkness consume me and I am absorbed into it. It’s peaceful, and before I know it, I’m gone.
Chapter 18
I don’t know how long I’m out, but when lucid thought returns to my mind it’s still a little dark. I can hear beeping and the hum of machines. I can hear a clock ticking. I can hear the bustle of noise somewhere far away, and I struggle to come to the surface of the darkness and find my way out of it.
It takes me a long while, but I finally find my way up and manage to open my eyes. It’s bright. It’s so bright that it hurts my eyes at first, but I want to know where I am.
I look around and see white. Everything is white. Everything except Astor, Wills, and Blair who are all there around the bed, silent. Astor is standing by the window, leaning against it, staring at me. Wills has his back up against the wall, his hands jammed down deep in his pockets, and he’s gazing at the floor. Blair is sitting in a chair with his face buried in his hands.
“What …” I try to speak, but my mouth is ever so dry. “What’s …”
Astor darts to my right side and hovers over me, about half a second before Wills and Blair get to my left. Blair grabs my hand as Astor traces his fingertips down the side of my face.
“Hey! There you are. God this has been a nightmare,” he begins, but then Wills nudges him and gives him a stern look as he shakes his head.
“Where am I?” I ask. My head is throbbing and my whole body hurts.
Blair strokes my hand. “You’re in the hospital. The punch Victoria gave you was spiked, and it reacted with …” he glances at the door, “The pills. They pumped your stomach and called your mother. She’s on her way.”
Panic shoots through me like lightning. “My … my mother?”
I slump back on the bed, my eyes glazing over to stare off into nothing. All this time, all this work to keep my true identity safe, and now it’s all going to come crashing down because I drank at a party?
If getting into the school was a dream, it’s just become a nightmare.
“Thankfully, the school can’t do anything about it because you weren’t on school property,” Wills says, his voice hopeful that it might bring me back from the edge of despair.
I close my eyes and try to hold back the rush of tears that come, but they flood my cheeks anyway. All three boys groan and look at me sympathetically.
“Hey, it’s going to be okay. Everyone makes mistakes. There’s nothing to worry about,” Blair tells me encouragingly. “Please don’t cry.”
All three of them look miserable, and I can’t help thinking that they deserve to feel that way. I shake my head a little as the hot tears roll across my face.
“You don’t understand. This is it for me. My … my mom…” I start to say, and then I can’t even finish it.
Wills stands up straight and looks at his two friends. “Oh shit, she’s right. Guys, we probably should leave before her mom gets here.”
“I’ve faced angry parents before. They don’t scare me,” Astor says quietly, his eyes still on me.
Wills grabs his arm and holds it firmly as he makes Astor look at him. “Everything isn’t about you, golden boy. It might be worse for her if her mom finds us here; not worse for us.”
Realization etches its way across Astor’s face and he nods, and sighs quietly. Blair lean
s down and kisses my forehead lightly.
“I’ll see you soon, Bunny. Hurry back.”
He gives my cheek a stroke with his fingers and then turns and heads for the door.
Astor gazes at me silently for a long moment, looking tortured again, and then he walks to the door as well. Wills gives my hand a squeeze and touches my cheek.
“You take care. We’ll be waiting for you at school.”
He leaves then too, and now it’s just me in the room, looking at the white walls and feeling as if I could not have possibly failed any worse at my life than I have this night.
Mrs. White is going to walk through that door wondering what in the hell is going on, and the whole world is going to crash down. I’m looking at prison, probably. Sadness, disappointment, and no end of regret rack me with sobs as I lay there helplessly in the hospital bed, strung up to an IV.
A long while later, the door opens and I look over at it. This is it. The moment I’ve been dreading.
But it isn’t Mrs. White standing in the doorway.
I must still be drunk. Or I’m seeing things.
Never before in my life have I been relieved to lay eyes on Ms. Martin, my foster mother from hell. Excuse me. Ex-foster mother from hell.
She smirks at me and closes the door. Any pretense of concern is dropped as she saunters over to me with a humorous expression on her face, caked in week-old makeup.
“What … what are you doing here?” I ask in amazement. Thank god the boys left earlier.
Ms. Martin raises one crooked eyebrow at me. “Me? Well, turns out you put me down as your emergency contact on your school paperwork. Dear old mom.” She chuckles and sits on the side of the bed, squishing my leg. “You can imagine my surprise when they called me about all … this.”
She looks bemused. Her hair is a tangle of unkempt half-curls, pinned haphazardly to her head, and she looks as if she’s dressed in something she’s been sleeping in for several days. I might be biased, however … since I know for a fact that she’s slept in those for days. That’s what she always does.