by Elle E Kay
Zach shouldn’t have been surprised how perfectly Addison fit in his arms. He’d danced with her the night before, though it felt like it had been weeks ago. Something between them changed with those vows. He couldn’t explain it to himself, but everything was different. Now she wasn’t his buddy, she was his partner. For life. He sent up a silent prayer. It would’ve been wiser to pray before the ceremony. Thinking back over the last few months, he swayed to the music. Where had God been in his thoughts? In his actions?
The frequency of his prayers had dwindled down to an unhealthy level since he and Nikki had split-up. Was he angry with God? No. It wasn’t anger. It was guilt. God didn’t condone premarital sex, but yet he’d allowed himself to partake in the sin without thinking through the consequences. What was done was done. He was a married man now, so it wouldn’t happen again. Forcing the thoughts from his mind, he focused on his bride. “I can’t imagine a more beautiful bride.”
“I bet you say that to all your brides.”
“I like your sense of humor.” He dipped her, and she grinned up at him.
“A good thing since you’re stuck with me now.”
When the music stopped, they made their way off the floor, but something was off. Her face turned as white as her dress. “Addison?” Before he could do anything, she was falling. He got behind her, caught her, and gently set her down on the edge of the dance floor. “Addison?” he shouted. Amy pushed through the crowd. She was certified in CPR and as a former EMT she was the closest thing they had to a medical professional on the island. Why hadn’t he thought of that? There should’ve been a doctor on staff.
Her eyes flew opened, and she tried to sit up, but he held her in place.
Her mother hovered nearby. “I told to you to eat.”
“Your ‘I told you so’ isn’t helping, Mom,” Addison said weakly.
“Is that all that’s wrong? You haven’t eaten.”
Amy gave him a thumbs up. “I’ll go make her a plate and get her some orange juice.”
“People with low blood sugar can’t go without food, Addison.”
“Mom. Stop.” She put her hands over her face. “I’m already mortified. Please don’t make it worse.”
Her mother’s face reddened, and Zach patted her arm. “I didn’t know she had low blood sugar, or I would’ve made sure she’d eaten.”
“She has a handle on it most days, but today she was too nervous to eat.”
“And then I didn’t make sure she had the opportunity after the ceremony.”
“This isn’t your fault, Zachary.”
“I’m right here, people. Please stop talking about me as if I wasn’t.” She tried to rise to her feet.
He held her hand, effectively keeping her in place. “Wait here until you’ve had some orange juice at least.”
“Fine.”
After a glass of orange juice and a few bites of food, the color returned to her cheeks, and he breathed a sigh of relief.
Zach’s feet were sore, but he couldn’t deny Amy when she requested the next dance. He’d gotten his bride on the floor for several dances before dancing with his mother and her mother, so it was time for him to spread the love.
“You seem happy.” She tilted her head to the side.
He grinned. “Did you expect me to be unhappy on my wedding day?”
“Don’t flash those dimples at me.” She narrowed her eyes. “I’m not sure what I expected. I kind of figured this was one of those prearranged ‘let’s get married if we’re still single’ things, so I didn’t expect you to be this ecstatic about it.”
“How could you possibly know that?” he choked on the words. Maybe she’d seen the emails. He hoped she wouldn’t mention it to anyone as it could cause his new wife embarrassment if anyone knew why they’d married.
She slapped his back and grinned. “I’m your right-hand girl, so I’m forced to know how to read you. You’ve been expecting me to read your mind for the last five years.”
“Oh.”
“That doesn’t sound like a denial. Are you confirming my suspicions?”
“Yeah. I guess.” He grimaced. “Keep it to yourself, Ames.”
“Mums the word.” She sighed wistfully. “What is it about this girl that makes you willing to give up every other woman on the planet?”
“I’m not sure I have a straight answer for that.” He spun her around once and brought her back to him.
“Figure it out soon. At some point, she’ll ask. You’d do well to have an answer when she does.”
“Ames, Addison knows what this marriage is about, and she’s happy with the parameters. She doesn’t expect a declaration of my undying love. We’re both ready to settle down and start a family with someone we can trust. We can have that with each other.”
“The new Mrs. Williams might not ask today, but she will in time. She’s a woman. We have an innate need to understand our relationships.” The song ended, and Amy kissed him on the cheek. “She got herself a wonderful man. I won’t pretend I’m not a tad bit jealous. I hope she appreciates you.”
“I got a fabulous woman in Addison.” He smiled. “I’ve never felt more blessed, and when you give your heart to a man, I know he’ll be a better man than I.”
“That’s obvious.” She giggled and took a step back. “Don’t forget what I said.”
As he watched Amy make her way back to the house, he stood alone and contemplated her words. Maybe she was right, and Addison would want more than he was willing to give.
Lucy Williams was headed toward Addison at full speed, so she braced herself for the conversation to come. Her mother-in-law draped an arm around her shoulder and steered her away from the crowd of people about to board the cruise ship. She hoped this wouldn’t take long since she wanted a moment to say goodbye to her mother and apologize for her earlier behavior.
Mrs. Williams let go of Addison and took a step back. “Welcome to the family, dear.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Williams.”
“Call me ‘Mom,’ dear.”
“Thank you. I will.”
“Take care of my son.” She had tears pooling in her eyes.
Addison embraced her and patted her back. “I plan to. I can promise you that.”
“He doesn’t know what a huge step the two of you took today, but it won’t be long before the realization hits him.” She blinked rapidly. “When it does, you need to be strong enough for both of you.”
“I’ll try.” She frowned. “This marriage business is scary, but together Zach and I can make it work. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.”
“Keep that attitude, and you’ll be fine.” She turned back toward the crowd. “I’ll let you say your goodbyes to the cruise people.”
Addison meandered back to her mother while Mrs. Williams walked up ahead of her.
“Where have you been, dear? We thought we would have to leave without saying goodbye.” Her mother pulled her by the arm over to meet her gentleman friend. “This is Christopher. He’s one of your husband’s chefs.” She leaned up closer to Addison’s ear and whispered, “and a fantastic dancer.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Christopher.” She extended her hand.
He shook her hand. “And you.”
“Will you be going on the cruise?”
“I will.” There was a sparkle in the man’s eyes. He clearly found her mother fascinating.
Her mother hooked her arm through hers and took a few steps away. “What do you think?”
“I think you’re a grown woman and if you like Christopher, then you should enjoy the time you get to spend together before you both go back to your real lives.”
“You don’t think we can make it work?”
“I think it’s a little early to be picking out rings, but I would be one to talk, wouldn’t I?”
Her mother laughed. “Go find your husband. I’ll see you after the cruise. Zachary promised to fly you home for a visit or fly us out to see you. He said it was
up to you.”
“I know which one you’ll pick. I’ll see you in California, Mom.”
Addison found Zach, and they stood side by side and said goodbye to their guests as they boarded the ship. She couldn‘t believe so many people attended her wedding reception when she’d only invited her mother to join her on the island. She was grateful her mother had thought to include Parker. Otherwise, it would’ve only been her mother on her side. Zachary had a huge staff of people, and they’d all seemed genuinely happy for them.
Once everyone had boarded the ship except for the few remaining guests who were taking the jet, Addison and Zach stood with Mrs. Williams, Parker, and Amy, and waved at everyone lined up on the deck of the ship.
Addison glanced up from her cake and spotted her sister making her way toward their table. “I’ll be back, Zach.” She stood to greet Parker as she arrived at the table. “Want to take a walk down the beach?”
“Yeah. I’d like that.” Parker kicked off her shoes and placed them under the table.
They’d walked nearly a quarter mile down the beach before Parker spoke. “I am happy for you.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m not sure why you married Zach on a dare or a pact or whatever it was, but I always liked him. You two will make ideal partners. I’m convinced of it.”
“What’s bothering you, Parker?”
“Ben.”
“What about him?”
“I love him, but I feel guilty about it. I know that you and I can’t have a normal relationship if we don’t talk about what happened in high school.”
“Sweetie, I’ve been over Ben for a long time.”
“I know. I do. I know that. It’s just that, well…”
“Spit it out.” Addison looked out over the calm ocean which was such a contrast with her sister’s tumultuous spirit.
“I’m not.”
“What aren’t you over? I didn’t steal Ben from you.”
“I’m not over hurting you.”
“I was the maid of honor at your wedding, Parker. How can you not be over it?”
“The guilt is killing me.”
“I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago.”
“So, why is it bothering me so much?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it has more to do with getting right with God and less to do with me than you think.”
She let out a harsh laugh. “I don’t have a thing to say to God.”
“Well, until that changes, you will not find happiness, let alone joy.”
“You religious people are all the same. God is the answer to everything.”
“He is.”
Parker dug in the sand with her toes. “Let’s head back.”
“Okay.” Addison hoped that her words would plant a seed. Her sister wasn’t ready to turn to God, but someday this conversation might come to mind.
Zach and Addison stood beside the jet as his mother, her sister, and Amy boarded. They were the last remaining guests on the island. Zach thought Amy’s idea for sending the guests and staff on a cruise was ingenious, since it allowed him and his bride to honeymoon here on the island with no interruptions. He’d given his employees the week off. It served two purposes, engendering good will among the staff and giving him some much-needed time alone with his wife. It was a win-win.
He put his arm around Addison’s shoulders and steered her away from the plane. “We don’t want to be standing this close when they take off.”
She rubbed the back of her neck.
“Sore?”
“A little. I think yesterday’s quad ride gave me whiplash.”
“Are you suggesting I’m a bad driver?”
“Yes.” She laughed. The sound of her laughter reminded him of the lazy days they’d spent together on the beach.
“You still up for zip lining?”
“I never said I was up for it. What I said was that I’d do it.”
“Close enough. Let’s go change.”
“Aren’t you exhausted after the wedding?”
“Maybe you should rest first. We have a couple of hours of daylight left.”
“No. It’s fine.” She followed him into the house, and when they got to the hallway, she headed down the east wing toward her room.
“Where are you going?”
“To get changed.”
“Your room is over here now.”
She turned to face him, but didn’t meet his gaze. “I didn’t think of that. I need to get my stuff though.”
“Your things are in our room.”
She froze.
He closed the distance between them. “Are you afraid of me, Addison?”
She stood stock still staring at the floor, not answering.
“You are.” He took a step back and rocked on his heels, crossing his arms over his chest. “This morning I couldn’t decide if you were afraid of me or repulsed by me. Now I can see that it’s fear.”
She raised her gaze to meet his. “Repulsed? Where is that coming from?”
“Your reaction earlier. Never mind that. It obviously wasn’t accurate. It’s fright. I’m sure of it now. You’re terrified. I can’t believe Addison Scott is afraid of me, her closest friend in the world.”
“We haven’t been close in a long time, Zach.”
“What’s changed? We’re the same two people.”
“We’ve both changed.”
“What matters hasn’t changed.”
“How can you possibly know that?”
“I can see right through you. You’re the same sweet girl.”
“I’m not a girl anymore.”
“No. You aren’t.” He smiled uncertainly. “But you are my girl, right?”
She giggled. “I suppose I am.”
“Then, will you please come to our room?” He took her hand, and they walked together toward the master suite. When they got to the doorway, he swept her up into his arms.
“What are you doing?!”
“I’m carrying you across the threshold.”
She swatted at his chest, and he chuckled. He set her down inside the room and allowed himself a moment to admire the fit of her wedding gown. When his gaze traveled up to her face, he saw terror in her eyes. It was too much.
“I promise not to hurt you, Addison.”
“We’ve been through this. I know you won’t hurt me.”
“Then what is it?”
“I don’t have a lot of experience, and I feel like we’re rushing into this.”
“We’re married.”
“I know.”
His lips pressed together in a tight line. “If you’re not ready, we’ll wait.”
“You’re willing to wait?”
“It’s not what I want, but I’d prefer that you were comfortable sharing my bed. You can sleep in here, and I’ll stay in another room until you’re ready.” He knew his smile was hard, but he could not soften it.
She wrapped her arms around her middle and sat on the edge of the bed. “I don’t want to throw you out of your own bedroom. I was comfortable in the other room.”
“This is our room. I want you to be comfortable here. You’re my wife. It’s better this way.”
“If it’s what you want.”
A hard laugh escaped. “What I want is to throw you down on that bed and have my way with you, but I’ll settle for a few stolen kisses until you’re eager for more.” His head bent to hers, and he gently brushed his lips across hers keeping a tight control on his churning emotions. “You never have to be afraid of me, Addison. I’ll never push you into anything you’re not ready for.” Then he turned away and gathered some of his clothes before making a hasty exit.
Chapter 6
A ddison stood alone in the enormous master bedroom with her fingers on her lips wishing the kiss had lasted longer. It was asking too much for them to wait to be intimate. She knew it before the words came out, but couldn’t stop them. It was a request that should’ve been made before they’d said their v
ows.
They were married now, so there wasn’t anything wrong with them sleeping together, but for her it seemed too soon. She’d been faithful to her vow to save herself for marriage, but now that the time came, she couldn’t give herself to him. The ‘what ifs’ flooded her mind. What if she gave him everything only to fall short of his expectations, would he divorce her? He couldn’t know about her inexperience, but it would soon become obvious. She couldn’t live up to the women he’d been with. His exploits with supermodels and actresses were public knowledge. What had she been thinking agreeing to marry him without talking to him about it first? She didn’t want to be one more in his long line of conquests when he would be her first and, God willing, her last. Why had he chosen to marry her? She wouldn’t be his first, but he chose her for a reason. It would have to be enough. She sat on the edge of the bed and let the tears overcome her.
When she calmed down, she changed out of her wedding dress with shaking fingers and put on shorts and a fitted t-shirt. She found him on the patio staring out over the ocean. He was wearing his glasses. Upon reaching his side, she put her hand on his back, but he stiffened in response, so she withdrew. “I didn’t know you still wore your glasses. Thought you must’ve had that laser eye surgery.”
“Not yet. Most of the time I wear contacts. They were bothering my eyes, so I took them out.”
“It’s a great look.”
He continued staring out over the waves instead of turning to face her.
“If you still want to do this, we should get going. I don’t think we have much time left for this zip lining adventure you planned. The sun won’t wait for us.”
“I would’ve made sure we didn’t have time for it if you’d have encouraged me to stay.”
She hesitated, unsure how to respond. “I’m sorry, Zach.” She closed the distance between them and raised a hand to his face. “I truly am sorry.” For a moment, she could see the pain in his eyes.