by Lara Swann
Lights and stuff. The most anti-climactic answer ever.
I should probably take the hint - especially after making such a point about not wanting him to disturb me on this vacation - but I can’t quite help myself.
“Lights and stuff. Wow. All that famous Aspen Christmas appeal…dismissed just like that.” I sigh for effect. “You really aren’t into any of this, huh?”
“Nope. Like I said last night - gaudy, over-the-top celebrations aren’t really me. I went looking for food and camera equipment and I found both of those easily enough so the town center gets full marks from me, but if you want a critique of the festivities they’ve got down there then you’re going to have to go yourself.”
“I’m planning to.” I say, grinning back at him. “After seeing it on my walk today, I definitely want to go and check it out. I was thinking of going into town tomorrow—so if you want anything else from there, let me know.”
“Sure, I will do. Thanks.” He nods, pulling an SD card out of his camera and inserting it into the laptop before glancing back up at me. “You don’t mind if I join you here?”
“No—not at all.” I say, surprising myself with how much I mean it, and not just because he’s definitely overdue getting some cabin-and-couch time too.
After having the whole day to myself, I’ve already had all the ‘me’-time I could ask for, and the idea of a little company this evening is surprisingly welcome - even if it is just Tristan sitting there working. He flashes me a smile and turns back to his laptop as my hand hovers over the TV remote, before I hesitate on resuming movie.
“Ah…is this going to annoy you?” I nod toward the TV. “It’s not exactly the most subtle Christmas movie, so if you’re not into—”
“It’s fine. Go ahead.”
“You sure? Because honestly, I’ve done pretty much everything I could have wanted to today and I’ve definitely monopolized the cabin, so if there’s something else you’d rather watch, we can definitely do that—”
“Yes, I’m sure.” He interrupts, with an amused glance in my direction. “I might not be that bothered about Christmas, but you can watch what you like - it’s not like I actively dislike it or anything, and I’m just going to sit here working. I’m used to having just about anything on in the background for that.”
“Oh. Okay. Well if you change your mind…” I start, then look over at his laptop with renewed interest as something else occurs to me. “Ooh, wait a minute, have you got the photos you took earlier on there? Can I see them now?”
I grin at him in anticipation, setting my pizza to the side and leaning forward before he gives me a rueful shake of the head.
“Not quite. I still need to edit them.”
“Oh, don’t worry about any of that. I’m just curious about the photos themselves—”
“The editing is at least half of the job.” He says, unyielding.
“But—”
“You edit books—surely you can understand that. You wouldn’t want to release one of your authors’ novels to the world if it’s only half-way through the whole process, would you?”
That makes me pause. I want to grumble that it’s not the same, but he’s probably right. I’m just impatient.
“Well…I guess not…but I will get to see them at some point, right?!”
“I promise.”
“Alright.” I relent, slightly mollified, before giving him a sheepish look and turning back to the TV. “I guess I’ll let you actually do some work, then.”
I can tell he appreciates that from the way he finally relaxes back into the couch, but the amused glint in his eyes makes me feel a less bad about bothering him.
My pizza has gone cold by now, but I like it that way too, and I resume the movie as I snuggle back down under my blanket and let myself be lulled by the combined warmth of the fire, the cozy familiarity of the movie and the full-satisfied-feeling I’ve got right now. Even Tristan’s soft tapping and clicking at his screen adds to it and I relax into the comfortable atmosphere between us as the movie plays, my mind starting to wander idly until my phone buzzes beside me.
Hannah: So how’s the cozy cabin in the woods?
I smile at the message from my sister and the perfectly-timed connection with home. I was just starting to wonder what everyone else was up to…but then Hannah and I have always been pretty well in sync. I start messaging her as The Grinch plays in the background, the feeling reminiscent of when we used to curl up and watch it together.
Me: Cozy. In the mountains, though, not the woods.
Hannah: I’ve seen pics of the place. Don’t tell me you’re not surrounded by trees.
I roll my eyes. My pedantic little sister has never been able to let anything go.
Me: Well, okay, fine. But technically, it’s a mountain cabin. I thought you were switching your lawyer brain off for the holidays?
Hannah: Yeah, right. Like we ever get a break. I was on the phone to a client for half of yesterday. Then Mom spent the rest of the day ranting about how unfair it was and not-so-subtly suggesting I try to find another firm, as if that would ever work. So nope, switching off from work seems a no-go this year.
I wince. I can picture Mom doing that perfectly, full of misguided good intentions that only emphasize everything Hannah is trying to get away from.
Hannah: Maybe you had the right idea after all, escaping to complete solitude. A few days into this chaos, I forget how nice the idea of that becomes.
Hannah: Though if you tell Mom I said that, I’ll deny it forever.
I laugh, and glance up to see Tristan looking at me, one eyebrow raised in question.
“Just my sister.” I say, smiling slightly ruefully. “And her updates on my family’s antics back home.”
He nods, though there’s a slightly speculative look in his eyes before he turns back to his laptop—and my phone buzzes again before I get a chance to wonder about it.
Hannah: So are you lonely yet?
I glance back at Tristan again, guilt rising in me as I wonder just how I’m going to explain this…
Me: Well, actually…
Hannah: ???
Me: Umm, it turns out the cabin was double-booked. Sooo…I’m kind of sharing it with someone. Just my luck, right?
Hannah: Wait, what?!
I’m still typing, but Hannah’s messages flood in far too fast to try to respond to.
Hannah: Seriously?!
Hannah: Are you okay? Who is this person? Is this safe? Lauren, what—
Me: Woah, woah, woah. Calm down. Yes, seriously. I’m fine. It’s actually not so bad.
Hannah: Not so bad?!?! You’ve given up our family Christmas to hang out with a complete stranger?! Oh my god, wait until Mom hears about that.
Me: Don’t you dare tell her. Nope. Seriously, Hannah, if you value our relationship at all, DO NOT TELL HER.
I can almost hear her laughing on the other end as she messes with me. I don’t think she’ll actually tell Mom or stir up that kind of trouble for me, but she’s definitely not going to be able to resist playing with it. I almost groan in frustration.
Hannah: Okay, okay. But she’s going to find out at some point…
Me: Yeah, I’ll tell her once I’ve worked out how—and once I’ve picked the right time.
Hannah: But seriously, are you okay? That’s…not what you’d planned at all, right?
Me: Yeah, tell me about it. I’m okay, though. I’ve actually had a lovely day. It was a little unsettling at first but I think it’s all going to work out. He seems to want to spend most of his time away from the cabin anyway.
Hannah: ….he? Lauren, you’re telling me you’re trapped out there with a strange GUY in a remote cabin in the woods? That does not sound okay.
Me: Mountains, not woods.
Hannah: LAUREN!
Me: It’s fine, really. I’m not trapped, and he’s been lovely. Promise, if I’d gotten any weird vibes I would’ve left immediately, but we’re actually getting on really we
ll.
There’s no response for a moment, and I keep typing, trying to convince her I’m not in imminent danger and feeling even more guilty about it. I hadn’t realized how all this might sound.
Me: He’s pretty cool - a travel writer / photographer from California. We got takeout together last night, chatted, set some ground rules—all good, really. I think we’re mostly going to stay out of each others’ way. Looks like I might even end up with the break I was hoping for, regardless.
No response. Not even the little ‘typing…’ indicator as she formulates a reply…just the tick telling me she’s read it. And then…
Hannah: Is he hot?
I blink. It’s so completely out of left-field that my eyes dart to Tristan again - still head-down in the laptop - and I flush, partly because he has no idea we’re talking about him now and partly because…damn it, Hannah!
Me: What?
Hannah: Oh c’mon, you know what I’m asking. He’s “pretty cool”, you’ve already had dinner together and you’re stuck with each other over Christmas…sure, it’s not what you were looking for out there, but maybe it’s exactly the kind of distraction you need right now…
Me: Okay, stop. Stop, Hannah. I have to live with this guy for the next two weeks, I don’t need that thought in my head too.
Hannah: So you have thought about it…
Ugh. God-damn it, Hannah knows me a little too well.
Me: No.
Hannah: Hey, Mom might even forgive you for abandoning us if you end up with a little holiday romance while you’re there. You know she’s worried that you haven’t jumped back into dating again.
Me: Ugh. I’m trying to get away from all that, remember? If you’re going to go on about it too, I promise you now, I’m turning my phone off and you won’t hear from me again until the New Year. So if he does turn out to be a psycho and I die out here, it’ll be all your fault I never called for help.
Hannah: Yeah, definitely my fault.
Me: Just let me work out how I’m going to share this place with him while having an appropriately relaxing vacation, without complicating it any further, hmm?
Hannah: Okay. If you’re sure - but you can always still come back and join us if you want to, Lauren. Promise.
Me: Yeah? And how are things over there? None of the usual pitfalls this year?
I ask the question already knowing the answer, smiling in anticipation. Sure, this vacation might not have worked out exactly how I intended, but it’s still a lot closer to what I was looking for from this year than the usual family drama.
Hannah: Weeellll…maybe one or two…
Me: Oh go on. Do regale me with all your adventures so I can fully enjoy my quiet, peaceful cabin. Even if I do have to share it with a stranger.
Hannah: Hah, well it’s not really been too bad this year. Usual tension between Mom and Nicole, Dad’s started on the brandy already, and the cats have knocked down the tree twice so far. Josh, Aiden and Mia seemed to have fun redecorating it with me all over again though - both times - so I’m counting that as a plus. I’d forgotten decorating a tree with kids was so fun.
Me: Getting broody?
I send it back with a smirk, but Hannah ignores it, still typing away.
Watching our older brother have children and getting to enjoy everything our nieces and nephews bring to the family has been something that Hannah and I have loved over the last seven years…while also secretly admitting to one another that we’re just as thrilled that we don’t have to put in the commitment and deal with the stress and difficulty of actually having children ourselves to get that joy. As the years have passed, it’s been almost strange to see how that attitude has started to soften and shift, as we both started looking toward the future and the idea of children as a warm inevitability instead of a scary level of commitment.
That’s all totally up in the air for me now, of course, but for Hannah…well, I can’t help wondering just how far along that thought process she is. It’s a weird feeling. I want the same things for her as I’ve always wanted for myself, but the idea of losing that bond with my little sister…of the rest of my family being at a totally different life stage than me…it’s a little unsettling, to say the least.
She’s not biting at any of my hints, though, so I doubt I’m going to get any clues about when I need to start worrying about that. I glance back at my phone to see another few anecdotes from Hannah, smiling to myself as I imagine everything she describes perfectly.
Hannah: The cats seem a little calmer now that the dog has been banished to Brandon & Nicole’s room too, although of course Nicole is sulking about that…ohh, and the kids managed to find a pile of Mom and Dad’s presents. The boys might have been good about it, but Mia’s too young to know better—by the time we got to all the yells, she’d torn open half of Aiden’s presents and he was distraught. I still don’t think he’s quite recovered, the poor boy, even after Josh sweetly offered to share some of his presents so that Aiden has a few surprises on Christmas day.
Me: Oh no! You can tell him I’ll bring him something special back from Aspen too.
Hannah: Like yourself? Christmas day present?
I snort, the laughter catching in my throat at her persistence.
Me: After all of that? Yeaaahhh, thanks, but I think I’m just fine here, Tristan and all.
Hannah: But what about meeee? How am I supposed to cope without being able to share knowing looks and subtle glances with you?! It’s still five days until Christmas and they’re all getting louder by the hour!
Me: You love it really. Besides, you’ve got Justin there to support you. Lean on him.
Hannah: Oh god, Lauren, he’s been a saint. I keep expecting him to run for the hills, but every time someone says or does something outrageous, he just laughs and comments on how ‘lively and fun’ we all are. It’s the first time he’s stayed for the full week so I figure if we can get through this, we’re set for life, right?
Me: Totally. He’s a keeper, Hannah. Everyone loves him. Forget the family Christmas test…you guys are gonna do just fine.
Hannah: Aww, Lauren.
Hannah: Oh wait, just a sec.
Hannah: Yep. On that note, gotta go. He just got in from last-minute grocery shopping.
Me: You sent him last-minute grocery shopping?! Okay, I take it back. You’re risking everything.
Hannah: Love you, sis. Have the best time with your hot vacation buddy!
Our messages cross and she doesn’t respond to my teasing before she obviously disappears, leaving me smiling in the way she always does, but with a heavy feeling in my chest that I can’t quite shake. I love Hannah’s fiance, but their recent engagement was at least part of the reason I didn’t think I could handle our usual family Christmas this year. After the way my own engagement ended this year, watching them cuddle up together as everyone welcomed Justin into the family properly would have just been too painful.
“Do you miss them?”
I look up in surprise, something in my chest jolting uncomfortably, to see Tristan looking at me with a discerning expression from the other couch. A belated glance over at the TV shows me the credits rolling and I realize that I’ve just been looking off into the distance, too absorbed in the conversation I had with my sister to notice it had ended.
“Ah…yeah, I guess so.” I say, trying to shrug off the strange mix of feelings. “It’s one of the few Christmases I’ve been away from them, so I figure that’s probably normal. Still glad I’m here though—I love my family, but it sounds like the drama has already started back home.”
I give him a slight smile and make light of it, sharing a couple of the stories my sister mentioned and trying to avoid his penetrating gaze. Right now, the idea of meeting his gaze threatens to pin me in place and stir up all those uncomfortable feelings I don’t want to examine. He listens in fascination more than the amusement I expected - which I know I’d be curious about any other time - but at least he cracks a smile once or twice
and drops it. I still don’t think he’s convinced by my light-hearted dismissal, but he doesn’t try to pursue it any further when I eventually stretch, switch the television off and proclaim I’m going to investigate the bath he promised me.
I end up flushing almost immediately when it comes out that way, too, but hopefully the dying embers of the fire don’t make that too obvious as I get up and refold the blanket I was using.
“There’s some champagne in the refrigerator if you want that too.” He adds as I’m leaving the room, showing no intention of budging from his glowing laptop screen at all.
“Wait, what?” I turn back, surprised.
“You said you wanted to pick some up, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, but…” I blink, smiling despite myself. “I didn’t expect you to get it.”
I hadn’t even fully convinced myself it was worth the extravagance.
I’ve never been more glad to have someone take that decision away from me, though.
“I was in the store already, it was no trouble.” He shrugs, not seeming to think anything of it, but warmth spreads through me anyway.
“Well, thanks. And do let me know what I owe you.”
“Sure. Enjoy your bath.”
Discussing my bathing habits with a stranger should probably feel more weird than it does right now, but I ignore that and give him a wave as I head to my bath and then to bed. At least this exchange - and the idea of a glass of champagne to enjoy with my bath - has largely shaken me out of the mood I was in danger of falling into earlier.
Yet another plus to sharing the cabin with someone. At this rate, maybe this whole plight will actually turn out to be a blessing in disguise.
Chapter Five
Lauren
The following day I emerge to find Tristan gone again, and end up smiling to myself in amusement. I wasn’t up quite as late this morning, but clearly, any worry I might have had that he’d end up infringing on my space was pointless. I take the morning for myself before calling up Max in the afternoon, excited to make good on my plans from yesterday and explore more of Aspen itself.