by Lara Swann
I finish my hot chocolate with a smile as Hannah finally signs off and I glance back through our messages affectionately, feeling lucky in a way I haven’t for quite a while - to have both my family and this vacation.
With everything I’ve got right now, who needs a no-good fiance anyway?
That thought stays with me as I continue shopping and I find myself smiling as I buy everything I need to cook the perfect Christmas dinner for the two of us, which is all the more important to me now. After everything Tristan told me yesterday, I really want to do this for him - even though I know it will probably mean more to me than it will to him. That’s okay. I’m just glad he’s up for letting me show him this kind of Christmas at all.
Several hours - and a few more unnecessary purchases - later, I stumble into the cabin with my arms full of bags. Tristan gets up from his laptop to come and help me, and when he sees how overboard I’ve gone, he just laughs.
“Really, Lauren?” He smirks as he takes a couple of the bags from me, peering at a few of the decorations inside.
“Mm, well, you see…” I start, in my best innocent voice, but he just laughs. A reaction I’m very grateful for.
“Never mind. I don’t want to know.” He says, stepping right up to me and kissing me instead. I linger there, the heat of his mouth stoking flames all the way through me, and it’s only the thought of the food I need to put away that has me finally stepping back.
We put everything away together and later, he takes me by surprise by helping me decorate the tree, and then the cabin. He doesn’t even object when I put on Christmas music as well, and start dancing around to it.
“Guess I haven’t been in enough stores this year to get annoyed by it.” He mutters with a shrug, by way of explanation, but I can see the small smile tugging at his lips too. “That, or seeing you shake your ass like that makes up for it.”
I grin back, proceeding to shake my ass a whole lot more as I continue to hang baubles on the tree. That then creates a few moments of serious risk that we might forget the decorating altogether, but I maintain fraying self-control by reminding myself how much fun sex will be with sparkling lights and decorations all around us.
By the time we’re done, the cabin has been transformed into something that wouldn’t be out of place in a fairytale, with warm, twinkling lights accenting the walls, wreaths on each door and tinsel framing the bookcases. The candles I’ve bought are scattered around too, and the tree stands in pride of place next to the dining table, vibrant and beautifully decorated.
I half-expect Tristan to object to just how thorough the result is, but he just looks at me magnanimously.
“Satisfied?” He murmurs, as he walks up to wrap his arms around me from behind, his mouth trailing along my neck. I shudder in the best kind of way as I lean back against him.
“Almost.” I say, stepping out of his embrace somewhat reluctantly, to kneel in front of the fire and get that started too.
Once that’s done, I relax back onto the couch with him and let out a contented sigh, the effect complete.
“There. That’s exactly what I always pictured.” I say with a smile, then twist around to face him, my cheeks a little hot from more than just the fire. “Thank you for indulging me.”
He chuckles, glancing around at the place again. “Why not? Christmas winter cabin…this year will be one to remember, at any rate.”
My smile grows wider, and I lean in to kiss him again.
“That it will…” I murmur, my hand slipping up under his shirt as our bodies start sliding against each other.
This is certainly a first for Christmas Eve…
Even when I was with Greg, we spent every Christmas at his family or mine…and that was never conducive to this kind of mood. I’m not sure I’d even feel like it was Christmas Eve, if we hadn’t put the decorations up. It always had a tendency to sneak up on me.
Now, though, with lights and pretty colors all around me…that night-before-Christmas feeling - and the spark of excitement that always goes with it - is as strong as ever.
It still feels a little strange to know I won’t be sharing Christmas with my family this year, but doing something new and different has it’s own thrill, too. This year, here in this beautiful cabin with Tristan, I get to enjoy the romance of Christmas in a way I never have before. That’s something special all in itself.
Chapter Nine
Tristan
“Merry Christmas.”
I wake up to Lauren’s kiss and respond instinctively, taking her in my arms and deepening it while my mind slowly plays catch-up. Her bright hazel eyes come into focus as I blink lazily, smiling and throwing one leg over her hips to draw her closer to me. My cock - always quicker than the rest of me - is already nudging at her leg in obvious interest, and I kiss her again as I roll until her supple body is stretched out beneath me.
“You’re awake before me?” I murmur, my voice still deep and sleep-laden. “That’s new.”
“It’s Christmas morning.” She grins back at me, surprisingly awake. “I can’t sleep in today.”
“Oh. Right.” I laugh, my hand trailing down her neck as I smile back at her. She makes such a pretty picture here in bed, with her hair fanned out underneath her like that. “What time is it?”
“Umm, about six in the morning.” She says, looking slightly sheepish as I raise an eyebrow, but grinning through it anyway, unrepentant.
“Well, if you’re really awake this early…maybe we should make the most of that.” I say, letting my mouth follow my fingertips and make its way down her neck. She shudders delightfully, and wraps her legs around my hips, wriggling in obvious suggestion.
“Now this is a start I’ve never had to Christmas day…”
“Oh, really?” I ask, smirking at her. “Well, if today is going to be a different kind of Christmas for me…it’s only right that it is for you, too. Merry Christmas, Lauren.”
She giggles, an excited-anticipatory sound that makes me groan as she pulls me up to kiss her again. Her eyes sparkle with promise as I meet her with my own passion, fully intending to explore everything behind that gaze.
We emerge several hours later into a beautifully decorated cabin that I’d almost forgotten about, satisfied and relaxed in a way that I can feel all the way down to my bones. Lauren goes to turn on the lights decorating the tree and walls and I shake my head in wry amusement as they flare to life, but I have to admit I can see the charm to it all…especially with how much she seems to enjoy them.
After breakfast, Lauren calls her family - and then somehow proceeds to spend the next several hours on the phone, talking to first one person and then another, then different groups of people together, until I’ve totally lost track of it all. I spend my time taking photos of the cabin - mostly from outside, where the lights and tree through the windows make an impressive sight, but a few of the decorations inside too - and sitting on the couch with my editing software open…trying not to listen too closely to the entertaining conversation going on behind me. I have no idea what it would be like to have a big family like that - so many people to keep up with and think about - but I can’t deny being a little fascinated as Lauren talks and the phone is obviously passed around a whole room full of people.
“Phew, okay. I think I’m done.” She says as she hangs up the cell phone, finally flopping down next to me and glancing over at my screen. “What’re you—heyy, that’s nice.”
“Yeah, turns out decorations are photogenic, huh?” I smirk at her, then tilt my head in her direction. “That was a long call.”
“Tell me about it—I thought maybe I’d get in there before my aunt and uncle and cousins all arrived, but by the time we made it out of bed…” She smirks back at me, then leans back with a sigh as it fades into a smile. “I’d kind of glad I did get to talk to them, though. I would’ve felt bad if I hadn’t caught up with them at all this year.”
“You know…” I say slowly. “For someone who came all the way o
ut here to get away from your family for the holidays, you seem to miss them quite a bit.”
“It’s Christmas! Of course I do. And it wasn’t really them I was trying to get away from…”
“Oh?” I ask, looking over at her more carefully. “What was it, then?”
Lauren hesitates, and I can read the indecision on her face.
“You don’t have to tell me.” I say, my eyes lingering on hers as I rest my hand on her thigh. After all, she came out here to get away from her problems. I don’t want to get in the way of that. “Especially if it would spoil today for you.”
“Nah.” She says, with a small smile as she looks at me. “I don’t think anything could spoil this.”
She glances off to the side for a moment, then sighs, and snuggles up to me as I put my arm around her shoulders.
“I was supposed to get married this year.” She finally says, and I wince. I’d figured from a few of her comments that she’d gone through a bad break-up or something, but breaking off a marriage is more serious than I expected. “I thought everything was great, too. I really loved him—we’d been living together for a few years and we had all these plans—but, well, I guess he wasn’t the guy I thought he was.”
I look over at her, lightly massaging one shoulder as I wait for her to go on, not wanting to interrupt whatever she might want to say.
“He—well, I don’t actually know the details, but I can guess—he disappeared for several hours on his stag night, and one of our friends found him wrapped around some random woman back in their hotel room. He didn’t say a word about it, either. I didn’t know for weeks afterward, while we were still merrily planning everything together, until one of our friends couldn’t keep quiet anymore and came to me with his concerns. He was the only one—the rest of ‘our friends’ there that night hadn’t said anything at all.” She shakes her head, looking sickened, and I have to fight my own disgust at these people. I’m pretty sure that’s not what she wants from me right now.
“He made it so much harder, too - dragged it on and on until I’d caught him in enough lies that he couldn’t keep it up anymore - denying it vehemently and insisting that Logan had been mistaken, that he’d had too much to drink, until a photo surfaced of him and this girl at the club…then claimed he’d forgotten the whole thing and didn’t know what had happened…until that bothered another of his stag-mates enough that he came forward and said Greg - that’s my ex - had asked everyone to keep it quiet. He’d gone to them - most of whom were my friends too - with the story of how it had been one big mistake before his wedding, instead of me. Fuck’s sake. Biggest humiliation of my life.” She says with a frustrated growl, her head dropping back against the couch, and I squeeze her thigh in silent support.
She’s obviously a little worked up, but she’s not nearly as upset as I would have expected. Sure, it’s probably been a while since any of this happened, but that kind of betrayal…that’s not something you easily shrug off.
She’s stronger than she looks. As fun and light-hearted as she acts sometimes…there’s a steadiness behind it, too.
It’s part of what draws me in, that irresistible contrast and complexity.
“I was blindsided by it, too. Even as the whole thing became more and more suspicious…I kept waiting for it all to be some big misunderstanding—some mistake. You hear about these things all the time, but you never really think it will happen to you, you know?” She says, shaking her head. “I felt so dumb…I’d really trusted him, but…fuck.”
“None of that was on you.” I say, unable to help jumping in. I want her to be able to talk without injecting my own thoughts - I know how fucking annoying it is for someone to start giving you reasons not to feel the way you obviously do - but I can’t stand the idea of her falling into the trap of blaming herself for a bastard like that. “Trust…it gets a bad rep sometimes, but it’s a good thing. If you’re the kind of person who is able to look at the world that way—to give that wholeheartedly to someone else—well, that’s a pretty special thing. If someone is stupid enough to let that kind of gift blow up in their face, then that’s on them…and the regrets will be, too.”
I come to a stop to see her looking at me strangely and immediately feel a little awkward about my impassioned response. I’m not used to getting worked up like that.
“Sorry, I guess that sounds like crap.” I say, with a slightly abashed laugh. “But…well, it’s something I’ve never been able to do, so I guess I admire it all the more.”
“No, no, it doesn’t. It…I don’t think I’ve looked at it quite like that before.” She offers me a small smile, reaching over to rest her hand on top of mine, and I link them together, squeezing softly. “And I guess I’m glad now—that he denied it so fiercely and tried to cover it up. If he’d come right out and told me after the stag do - said it was some stupid mistake on that one night - well, I like to think I would’ve kicked him to the curb anyway, but…I don’t know. It would have been harder, if he hadn’t made it obvious that he wasn’t the man I thought he was at all.”
I nod. I can understand that, as difficult as it is to think about. In these kinds of situations, everyone always wants to believe that they’ll stand up for themselves and stick to the standards they deserve, but…once you’re there in the heat of the moment, it’s a lot harder than that.
“Not many people would admit that.” I say, quietly impressed.
“Yeah, well, I’ve always tried to be honest with myself.” She says, giving me a half-smile. “At least that way I know one person will be.”
“Lauren…”
“I’m joking.” She says, and the lightness trickling back into her tone is enough to reassure me. “Really, I’m okay. It was shit, yeah, but I’m pretty much over him now—I have been for a while, I think.”
“You do sound like you are.” I smile, encouraging, and she returns it, then sighs and leans back against the couch again.
“It’s still been a shit year, regardless, though. The fallout from it all has been crap. We’ve known each other for a very long time - we have a lot of mutual friends and this thing has split the whole group. I feel uncomfortable as fuck around all the guys that were there that night and didn’t try to tell me, and no one else seems to know what to say to me, and just—ugh—all that stupid drama I thought I’d left behind in college, you know?”
“Yeah.” I say automatically, then pause. “Well actually, no, not exactly. All my friends are from different times in my life - and different parts of the country now, too - and I never see more than one or two at a time, so I guess I’ve never been part of those big friendship group dynamics, but all the same…losing a relationship and the people you rely on to support you through that at the same time…that’s rough.”
“Yep.” Lauren says, then shrugs. “So…I came out here because wanted a break from everything. Some time to myself this year. That, and…” She hesitates, then offers me a rueful smile. “Well, my sister is getting married in a few months, too. She got engaged last year, so it’s not like it’s new or anything - for a time, bouncing wedding plans back and forth between us was a lot of fun, too - but since Greg and I split…it’s been pretty tough. I love Hannah - and her fiance Justin is lovely - but I didn’t exactly feel like watching them cozy up to each other this Christmas, or all the wedding talk that would be flying around. I didn’t want them holding back from that on my account, either—Hannah deserves the chance to enjoy this Christmas and get excited about the future just as much as I did last year, without worrying about how I might feel. I just figured it would be better for everyone if I wasn’t a part of it.”
I nod. I’m sure that’s not how her family would have felt about it, but I can understand the sentiments there—and from what I’ve seen this week, Lauren is just the kind of person that would be worrying about how other people feel after going through her own heartbreak.
“Well, I’m glad you did.” I say, wishing I had something more comforting or helpful to
offer, but coming up short. I’ve never been great at that. “Come out here, that is.”
Lauren glances over at me and squeezes my hand again, offering me a small smile as she snuggles closer into my body. I wrap one arm around her shoulder and pull her closer.
“Me too.” She says, letting out a deep breath, as if everything she’s just said might be expelled through it. Her eyes flick up to mine and her gaze is warm as she offers me a small smile, looking simultaneously as delicate and strong as I’ve ever seen her. “Thanks for that. Maybe it was good to talk about it with someone who hasn’t been so close to the whole thing.”
“I felt the same, the other day.” I say, surprising myself with the sudden feeling. “Talking about Nana…I haven’t done that since she died. It’s strange how that happens. Everyone always says that talking helps, but…well…you kind of feel like they’re just making it up.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Lauren smiles, her eyes crinkling up at the edge. “Even when you know it helps, though…doesn’t make it any easier to actually do it, either. I guess you have to pick the right time…and person.”
She holds my gaze for a moment and I lean forward to kiss her, in the way I’ve wanted to since she first started telling me about everything she’s gone through this year. She doesn’t deserve any of that shit, and all I want to do is soothe it away with gentle kisses. We fall into that for a time, before eventually pulling back, still dwelling on too much to entirely get lost in it.
“Sorry I don’t have anything more eloquent to say than ‘fuck him’.” I say softly, cupping her cheek in one hand.
“’Fuck him’ works very well. It’s been my mantra for months.”
We’re quiet for a few moments, simply sitting there in easy companionship and reflecting, and it feels like I could do that indefinitely - there’s just something about Lauren that makes being around her so comfortable - if I wasn’t quite so aware that it’s Christmas day and both of us have far more enjoyable things to look forward to than thinking about her ex.