by Lara Swann
She nods, giving me a grateful smile before running off after her friend, and I make my way into the next room to find the bar.
I’m surprised to find Hannah - the bride herself - already there, leaning against the bar and chatting to the man behind it, looking stunning in her stately wedding dress.
The man sets a large glass of water down in front of her just as I approach and she drinks half of it down in one go.
“Thank you.” She says to the barman, her voice earnest. “I’ve been dying for that for the last hour. It feels like I haven’t stopped talking all day and I couldn’t have started dancing without…”
She looks up as I approach, trailing off, then offers me a sheepish smile as she takes another few gulps of water. Despite her comments, she’s practically shining with happiness, and its obvious that she’s enjoying all the trials that go along with being the bride and the de facto center of attention.
“Congratulations.” I offer, smiling as I come forward to lean against the bar. “I’m Tristan, Lauren’s—”
“I know who you are.” She says with a small laugh, her expression seeming to turn almost impish. “Everyone does.”
Well. That’s unnerving.
“And thank you.” She continues, her face softening. “For the congratulations and…for being here for Lauren today. I can’t believe you came all the way out here for this.”
“She told you that?”
“No, not exactly.” Hannah says, shaking her head. “But she’s mentioned you before.”
I nod, not sure what to say to that, and she gives me a speculative look that seems a little too discerning for someone I’ve only just met.
“You know, right about now is when I’d do the whole protective-older-sister thing, but—”
“I thought you’re the younger sister?”
“Not the point.” She grins at me. “As I was saying - usually I’d warn you that I’m looking out for her and all that, but…well, I can see how happy you’ve made her today. So…that’s good enough for me.”
I blink, no idea how I’m supposed to respond to that - but before I get a chance, there’s an announcement from another room and Hannah curses.
“Shit, gotta go. Justin will be wondering where I am.” She puts the glass back down on the counter and smiles at the bartender again. “Thanks again.”
Lauren walks in just as Hannah is leaving and they stop to hug briefly, before Lauren joins me at the bar, where I’m belatedly asking for the water.
“What did Hannah say to you?” Lauren asks, tilting her head at me in interest.
“She gave me the whole nine-yards—went through her older-sister-protective routine.” I say, with a crooked smile, amused by it now that she’s gone and I’m not under that spotlight anymore.
Lauren frowns. “She’s younger than me.”
“That’s what I said.”
Lauren gives me a strange look, but before she can continue, I grab the water - thanking the barman - and turn towards the door.
“I think the first dance is about to start—probably don’t want to miss it.”
“Oh shit, yeah. Thanks.” She takes the water, drinking it as we make our way to the adjoining room, which is currently getting louder and louder as more people crowd around.
Lauren takes my hand and we slip past to the opposite wall - the bridesmaid dress obviously has certain privileges - where we step out of the way and turn to watch. The lights go down in the next moment, a spotlight appearing on the floor in front of us and Lauren’s father steps up to announce the dance. Everyone quietens and as the music begins, Hannah and Justin come out hand-in-hand, looking at each other. If I thought Hannah was shining with happiness earlier, she’s absolutely radiant now. Neither of them have eyes for anyone but each other and the smiles they’re both wearing…I don’t even know them and my heart skips a beat for them both.
It’s a slow song and they step together, her hands on his hips and his arms around her shoulders, in exactly the way I wish I was dancing with Lauren right now. There’s almost a collective sigh, everyone appreciating the warmth between the two of them, and Lauren steps closer to me. I wrap my arms around her neck, pulling her back against my chest, and brush the top of her head with a kiss. I don’t miss the wistful, contemplative look on her face as she looks at them, or the way she reaches to hold onto my arms around her chest, and I squeeze her tightly back.
Shit, this must be a hard thing to watch so soon after your own wedding was canceled…and she’s held up so well all day.
Halfway into the song, the newly married couple gesture for other people to join them - and neither Lauren nor I hesitate. I’ve been looking forward to this all day. We step up onto the floor, not that much further away from the wall we were standing against - we don’t need the attention, just to be close to one another for a little while - and I hold her in exactly the way I’d wanted to only moments before.
Our bodies sway and move together naturally, even though the last time we danced together was at the Ullr Nights festival, which was nowhere near as intimate or romantic as this. I mean, we were in full winter clothing, for one.
I look down at her, our gazes meeting, and smile as everything about the moment fills me with warmth.
“Hey.” I murmur softly, my thumb gently caressing her neck as we move together.
It’s inane, but it feels right. There might still be dozens of other people around us, but this is the first time I’ve felt truly alone with her all day - like it’s just us, and we can finally block out the rest of the world.
“Hey yourself.” She responds, in exactly the same way, her mouth curving into a smile.
“How are you doing?” I ask quietly. I’ve wanted to ask her that all day, but there was never a moment where I could or where asking it would be a good thing. I had to assume that just being here was helping. Now, though… “Really…how are you holding up, Lauren?”
“I’m good.” She says, surprising me with how genuine and real it sounds. Not like she’s just dismissing the question. She meets my gaze as she nods. “Really good, actually. It’s been such a magical day and I’m actually…having a really good time.”
I smile, the way she says it making me believe her and…I’m so pleased to hear it. She deserves nothing less, after all the work she put in to make this day happen - and how much her sister obviously means to her.
She turns to look over at Hannah, a smile on her lips.
“And just look at her, Tristan. Doesn’t she look absolutely beautiful? So happy and…and everything I could have wished for her.”
“Mm…” I agree, although my gaze barely leaves Lauren’s face. Hannah isn’t the one who I couldn’t stop looking at today. “She’s a lovely bride.”
“I do want all this for myself, someday.” She says, surprising me with the acknowledgment as she turns back to me, that slightly wistful tone back in her voice…wistful, and contemplative. “But I think - more than anything - I’m so glad I didn’t have end up having it with the wrong person.”
My breath catches in my throat, the way she’s looking at me…
“If it takes me a little longer…then it’s worth it. For the right person.”
I nod, but I can’t say anything, not with her eyes so full and bright…
“For tonight, I’m happy simply to be here. With you.”
“Me too.” I say softly, pulling her closer into my arms, and brushing my mouth over hers, deepening the kiss as far as I dare with her family all around. By the time I pull back, we’re still dancing, but both of us are slightly dazed, slightly breathless.
“Then let’s make the most of tonight. Here. Together.” I say, my voice low and rough. “Your sister deserves a celebration.”
Chapter Sixteen
Lauren
I wake up the next morning curled up against Tristan in my bed, and snuggle closer, sighing softly as a contented smile flits across my face.
“Good morning.” Tristan’s voice rum
bles from above me, and I glance up to see him already propped up in bed, his eyes open as he looks back at me.
“How long have you been awake?” I ask, my voice still fogged with sleep.
“A little while.” He says, his fingers running through my hair in a way that stirs all sorts of pleasant feelings within me. Definitely a good way to wake up.
“Oh yeah. I forgot.” I grumble. “You always did wake up stupidly early.”
“I just don’t like missing out on the day.” He says, laughter in his voice.
“Even when the day is one big hangover? I’m more than happy to miss out on most of those.”
“You’ve got a hangover?” He asks, sounding genuinely concerned.
“Yes, I…” I frown, evaluating that as I say it. “Hmm…actually, my head doesn’t hurt nearly as much as I was expecting. I thought I drank a lot last night.”
“We drank a lot of water.” He says, answering my unspoken question. “And took some aspirin before bed. I’m okay today.”
“Oh…okay then. Well, that’s good.”
Usually when I’m drunk, I just collapse straight into bed, letting the room spin around me until I fall asleep. It’s not what I should do, I know that, but…it’s hard to care about things like that after a few drinks.
“Thanks.” I say, shifting to lie with my head nestled into his shoulder so that I can look up at him. I slip one leg over his and let my hand wander over the light tuft of hair on his chest, too. “I’m guessing that was your influence, not mine.”
“Mmhmm.” He murmurs, still running his hand through my hair in that way I like.
“Still doesn’t mean I want to get up, though.” I add. “Not when I could lie here with you like this.”
“I can agree with that.” He says, his tone warm. “Why do you think I haven’t yet?”
Good point.
We’re quiet for a few minutes, just lying there enjoying each others’ company, my mind drifting back to yesterday. It was such a good day. In so many ways. And Hannah seemed to have the best time—everything she wanted, which was all I could ask for.
My eyes flick back up to Tristan again, still not quite believing that he’s actually here - that he came all this way for me - and not sure what to think about…well…any of this.
“So…how long are you here for?” I ask, not really wanting to bring that up, but also…unable to stop myself.
“I fly back to California tomorrow.” He says, that tender warmth still in his voice. Was it like that in Aspen? Maybe. I wasn’t really paying attention back then.
I nod, biting my tongue to keep myself from saying anything.
Right. Of course. Tomorrow. Obviously.
I chastise myself for the immediate flood of disappointment. What else was I expecting, really? Except, the way he’s been looking at me…
“But I’ve been thinking, Lauren…”
I glance up at the note in his voice, meeting eyes that are searching mine as hard as I’m searching his.
“I don’t have to…stay there. Most of my job is spent traveling anyway, and there are plenty of people who don’t work out of the office in California. With Nana gone, I don’t have anything tying me to San Diego, either. As long as I went back a couple of times a year to check in with the magazine…I could move anywhere, I guess. Maybe even…out here.” He takes my hand, squeezing it as he looks at me, and I squeeze back, unable to say anything, my heart trapped in my throat. “If…you wanted to make a go of things, I mean.”
“Yes.” I whisper, the word barely making it out of my throat as I look back at him, emotion swamping me. “Yes, Tristan, I…I do.”
He takes a deep, ragged breath and offers me a small smile.
“I know I said I wasn’t interested in any of that, but the truth is that I’ve never been interested…until I met you. But these last few months - ever since Aspen - I haven’t been able to think about anything else. I’ve suspected for a while now, but I knew the moment I saw you again at your office…I love you, Lauren. I think I’ve loved you ever since Aspen.”
“Oh, fuck.”
The lump in my throat gets too much and I can feel my eyes burning from the sensation, the words knocking the breath from me.
“I love you too, Tristan. I…the moment I saw you’d come all this way for me…seeing you again, I just…”
“I know. I know.” He murmurs, pulling me up on top of him and kissing me deeply. I give myself over to that, the explosive, passionate, deep kiss that tells him how I feel far better than I ever could.
“You really think you could move out here? For me?” I ask, whispering it, scarcely able to believe it might be that easy.
“I flew out here for you, didn’t I?” He says, his eyes laughing at me.
“That’s not the same thing at all.” I say, my voice still half choked-up.
“Yes, Lauren. I can move here. Why not?”
“Well, because…”
Because it’s not fair.
It’s a silly reason, and I know it, but I still feel it anyway - and he seems to read it in my expression.
“You’ve got your whole family here, your job, everything…it makes sense this way. I want to be with you—to see how this might work out. What could happen between us.”
The feeling in my gut is already telling me what that is—how good and strong and wholesome it is.
“They loved you, you know. My family. Everyone you talked to at the wedding made a point of telling me how wonderful you were.”
Unbelievably, he actually reddens—Tristan himself, getting flustered, even as he tries to play it down.
“I…uh…that’s um, really nice of them, but I don’t know…I think everyone was just so happy for Hannah…they were all in such a good mood.”
“Uh-huh.” I say, not buying it at all, but I don’t press any further.
If he doesn’t want to acknowledge that yet, I don’t mind. I can understand why he wouldn’t know how to react to it.
He’ll just have to wait and see.
If he sticks around here, he’s going to find out just how genuine all that feeling was very quickly. And I like the thought of that. So much.
“I thought they were pretty great too, though.” He adds, after a moment. “It still seems a little bit like an overwhelming number of people to me, but…I can see why you like having a big family.”
I smile, leaning forward to kiss him again. I really do. And I like the thought of him getting to join in with it even more.
“I can’t believe this is really happening.” I murmur as I pull back, shaking my head. “It seems so…impossible.”
“It’s really happening.” He smiles, wrapping his arms around me even more tightly, and I sigh contentedly inside them.
“Though…I will still be traveling a lot, Lauren.” He says, sounding uncertain as he looks down at me. “You’re the only woman who ever made me want to step out from behind the camera and be a part of life, instead of just observing and documenting it—but that doesn’t change how much my job means to me. I might be able to put down the camera for you at times, but I couldn’t do it for good…even if it means we have to be apart for some of the time.”
The concern in his expression is obvious and my heart goes out to him as I wonder how anyone could possibly have thought it was acceptable to ask something like that of him.
“Of course not. I wouldn’t want you to.” I say, a little more vehemently than I intend. “I love you, Tristan, and I love how passionate you are about your job. Hell, it’s even made me take mine a little more seriously at times. We seem to have fallen for each other more in these months apart than we did together…we’ll be fine if you have to travel.”
I watch as most of the cloud clears from his expression, but there’s still a hesitation there, and I lean forward to wipe it away for good.
“I mean, I still count that night on the phone last week as one of my hottest sexual encounters.”
His eyes widen and then
he groans as he scoops me up into his arms. “Oh, fuck yes.”
I just laugh, meeting his kiss with one of my own, my hands wandering down his body.
“And who knows.” I add. “Maybe occasionally I could come with you to some of these places. I meant what I said before - about wanting to travel more - and I’d already asked my boss about the possibility of working from outside the office occasionally. It’s the kind of job where you can do that, and she’s a pretty great woman.”
“Really?” He asks.
“Yeah. Though, lets not worry about that now…you said you were leaving tomorrow?”
“Yeah.” I can hear the disappointment in his voice now, and I smile as I shift over on top of him, kissing him again.
“Well then…we’d better make the most of today.”
And if he really does go traveling often, I have a feeling that will be the motto we live by. I like the thought of that very much.
Epilogue
Lauren
Fifteen Months Later
“I still can’t believe you convinced me to go hiking before we even got to the cabin.” I say, following Tristan up the steep trail, with trees all around us. It’s a beautiful area, there’s no denying that, and the sun is dazzling in bright blue skies, but I’m still slightly bemused that Tristan was quite so insistent that we start our vacation like this.
“I thought you liked hiking.” He says, grinning over his shoulder and then coming back to walk beside me. “You keep telling me that you’re a changed woman—that you love all this stuff.”
“I am—I do. But I’m just saying, it’s been a long week at work, this is the first day of our vacation and we’ve already spent the morning driving all the way out here. Surely we could have found the place, taken our time and settled in, maybe gotten a nice takeout, and then started hiking tomorrow.”
“This hike was on the way to the cabin.” He says, which sounds reasonable, but I still don’t think it is. “And we’re almost to the top.”
“Okay, okay.” I smile, linking my hand with his and enjoying just being here with him too much to really complain. He’s spent the last week in Colorado with work, and all that really matters to me is that I get him for a little while. “But tomorrow, we’re doing whatever I want.”