by Callie Vegas
I lean in, ready, forgetting the fact I should give her space. I just want to take those plump lips into my mouth. Just as they’re about to touch there’s a knock at the door.
She leans her forehead against mine. “Katie,” she whispers before turning to the door.
Katie comes barrelling in and hugs her. “Oh my god, Joss, I was so worried. I didn’t know where you were.” She looks over Joss’s shoulder and sees me and gives me a smile and a quizzical look.
I put my hands up in the air. “I was the perfect gentleman, don’t look at me like that.”
They both sit on the bed. “Are you sure you want to do this today, Joss?” Katie asks.
“No, but I have to do it soon, so I might as well do it and then I can get on with the rest of my life.” She rests her head in her hands while Katie puts her arm over her shoulder and pulls her in tight, her face grim.
“Your life is miserable because he’s in it. After you’ve seen him and talked things through, you can start your life over and make sure it’s not miserable,” I say. I don’t add that I hope she chooses to live that life with me.
She smiles at me. “Thanks, Saul.”
As I get ready to leave and walk to the door, she turns and says, “I’ll call you later. Promise.”
“I’ll be waiting. Just remember you deserve someone who wants you as much as you want them.” I wink at her. And then she’s gone.
My heart breaks a little. Has she just walked out of my life for ever?
8
Joss
When the door closes behind me, I lean against the wall in the hallway and rest my head back, closing my eyes. It’s so hard to leave him there. He looked like his heart was breaking.
“Hey, are you okay?” Katie asks, reaching out her hand to touch my arm.
I shake my head. “No, not really. I have to go and talk to a man who duped me into marrying him to protect his reputation and to get his trust fund, and I’m walking away from a man who seems to want me bad. And that’s all before breakfast!”
“You and your food. I can’t believe he was going to marry you for his trust fund that’s disgusting.” She stares at me hard. “Look Jeremy’s a prick for what he did. But at least you found out before you actually got married. This isn’t Saul’s fault. He didn’t know who you were when you hooked up. He has no feelings for Jeremy, he’s just got mixed up in this huge shit storm.”
“So, are you saying it’s my fault? Have I made his life worse by being in it?” Taking a deep breath I whisper, “Do you think he hates me for it?” I put my hands on my hips and stare at her.
“No,” she says, pulling me away from the wall towards the elevator. “Not at all. Anyone can see Saul wants you. You should have seen him when he first spotted you walking through the door in your wedding dress. He nearly collapsed on the floor. That man cannot hide his feelings for you. I’m so glad he looked after you last night and didn’t try anything on. That means so much more than fucking you into oblivion.”
“God, I want him to do that. You should have seen what I saw when I got out of the shower earlier. He had his cock in his hand and he was thinking about me…” I blush and my stomach explodes with butterflies fluttering as I remember what I saw.
“How the hell do you know he was thinking about you, Joss?” She stares at me expectantly, waiting me to keep going.
Speaking quietly so that she is the only one to hear, I say, “He was moaning my name and when he came, he shouted out my name.”
“Fuck that’s hot!” She’s so loud.
“Shh, someone might hear,” I scold her. “But yeah it was hot. So, I did the same when I came too.” I feel like a schoolgirl giggling with her best friend about a boy at school.
“Who are you and what did you do with my sexually shy and repressed friend?”
“I think I left her behind in Vegas. Saul’s opened my eyes to what sex can be about and now I’ve tried it I want more.”
“You want more with him? Or with just anyone?” Katie asks as we get in the elevator.
Do I want sex with anyone? Could I do it with anyone? Or is it just Saul? The words come out on a sigh as soon as she finished asking the question. “With him.”
“Come on say it out loud, Joss. No point being embarrassed now.”
Laughing, I shout, “I want to fuck Saul hard.”
The two of us are doubled over in laughter and when the doors open in the reception area Jeremy is at the front desk looking like he’s checking out. His face is all scrunched up as he reads the sheets of paper in front of him. It can only be the bar bill from last night because he doesn’t look happy. That just makes the two of us laugh even more.
He turns towards us. “What’s so funny, Joss? I thought you might be crying in a corner somewhere.” He glares at me, like I’m an inconvenience, like I’m shit on the sole of his shoe.
God when did he change from a nice guy to one who doesn’t give a fuck. Oh yeah when the love of his life fell for his wife to be! Fucked up or what?
“I didn’t have time to cry. I met some nice people in the bar and had a good day.”
Looking at my t-shirt and shorts he spits out, “What the hell are you wearing? Whose clothes are they?”
I look myself up and down, “These belong to Saul.” I turn to Katie. “Is it too early for a drink?”
“It’s never too early for a drink when you’ve been fucked over,” she says turning towards the bar.
“I’ll see you at your house in about…” I look at Katie. “In about two hours.” Before he has chance to speak I turn and walk away. I want to have the upper hand in this discussion. He’s had it for far too long. I need to organise my clothes and my belongings from his house. I had already moved in with him after giving notice on my apartment. I don’t have anywhere to live. “Can I move in with you, Katie? I don’t have anywhere to go.” A loan tear falls from my lid and as I wipe it I remember the honeymoon.
“Fuck!” I say loudly as we walk into the bar.
“What?” Katie asks turning to grab my arms.
“The honeymoon. I forgot all about it, I need to cancel it. I’m not going with him on a holiday, I’d sooner kill him.”
“Look, stop stressing. Let’s go grab a coffee and some breakfast, because let’s face it, it really is too early for a drink. We need to have a strategy for your chat with Jeremy. He won’t know what’s hit him.”
“I like that plan.”
Two hours later I walk into the house that should have been my marital home. I never liked this house but thought once I’d added some of my things and a feminine touch it would do until we moved into a new house we would choose together. I don’t knock, but just walk in. Jeremy is sitting on the couch in the living room waiting for me.
“What is she doing here, Joss?” He glares at Katie.
“She’s here to help me get some of my things today,” I say, defiantly.
“I don’t want to have this discussion with her here.”
“Really? Well I didn’t want a hundred people to know you never loved me and that you’re in love with your best friend. But sometimes shit happens.”
He knows he’s lost that battle when he stands and walks towards the kitchen. “Right let’s go in the kitchen and sit down then. I don’t want you getting comfy.”
While he sits at the kitchen table, I make myself at home and brew some coffee for Katie and I.
When I sit down he looks at the two cups, “What about me?” Does he seriously expect me to make him a cup of coffee too?
“Sorry, I thought if you wanted one you would’ve asked.” I ignore the look he gives me and sit down.
“Look,” he says, hanging his head. “I’m sorry, Jo.”
“My name is Joss. Did you know you’re the only one who calls me Jo? I hate it. My name is Joss.”
His eyes open wide, he’s not seen this side of me before. Hell, I’ve not seen this side of me before. Obviously, it took being jilted at the altar to turn me into a headstrong woman no o
ne can mess with.
“Joss,” he says, lowering his head. “I’m sorry. I should have talked to you before yesterday. Saul was right.”
“Yes, you should have and what does Saul have to do with it?”
“A couple of weeks ago, actually the weekend of your bachelorette party, he asked me about getting married and had I got over my gay phase. I told him I hadn’t. He said I should talk to you about it and let you know the kind of marriage I was offering.”
“He said that?” I know all of this because Saul’s already told me, but I want to see Jeremy squirm and explain it himself.
“Yeah, I told him a couple of days before the wedding that I’d spoken to you and you were happy with everything. I’m going...I was going to inherit my trust fund when I got married so I was going to make sure you had all the money you needed. But I wouldn’t have been able to give you the physical side of a marriage.”
“You’re a fucking asshole.” I stand and start to pace around the kitchen. “I know we didn’t have passion in our relationship, but I thought we had mutual respect. Now I know that you didn’t even like me.”
“I did, I do like you. Jo… ss. I just don’t love you and I can’t love you. I’m ashamed of myself.”
I sit back down. “Look at me, Jeremy.” He lifts his head. “I hate you right now. What you’ve done is despicable and disgusting. These are my terms on paying me back for humiliating me like that.”
“What do you mean terms?” His voice is squeaky and I’m sure he’s bricking it.
“Our lives are interwoven because we have been planning the wedding and me moving in here. We have joint bank accounts that need to be closed, life insurances to be cancelled and I need to arrange to get all my stuff back. I don’t have the energy for that right now because I’m a broken woman.” I’m hungover too, but he doesn’t need to know that.
“From the price of the bar bill you’re probably just hungover.” He grunts.
Katie and I both laugh. “Yeah it was a good night after all.”
“Now we’re due to leave on our honeymoon tomorrow, so I want to take Katie with me instead.”
“Are you fucking serious? That holiday cost thousands. Why can’t I go? I’m in need of a holiday too.”
“Seriously? You expect me to go to the Seychelles with you? On a romantic honeymoon? You’re seriously delusional. I’m going to speak to the agent and get the name changed to Katie’s. Non-negotiable. When I get back I’ll arrange a day to come and collect my stuff. You can be here or not—your choice.” Standing I turn to Katie. “Come on, babe, we’ve got a holiday to pack for.”
“Fucking outrageous!” He stands up when we do. His face is red and beads of sweat are gathering across his forehead.
Well now he knows how I felt yesterday, but a hundred times worse.
I turn and stare at him. “You’re lucky I’m not doing a whole lot worse. Let’s get out of here, Katie.”
We slam the front door behind us. When we’ve climbed into her car I start to cry. I don’t want to cry over him, but it all crashes down on me—hard.
I’m a single woman who was jilted at the altar for another man. Wow can it really get any worse?
9
Saul
I’m having lunch with Mom and Dad, but I can’t concentrate on anything they are talking about. All I can focus on is Joss next door with Jez. Is she going to go back to him? Will they sort everything out? Either way, where does that leave us? Is there an us at all?
“Hey, son,” Dad says grabbing my attention. “How are you doing? All the attention was on Jeremy and Josslyn yesterday. No one asked how you feel about what he said.”
“Dad, I don’t care what he did to me. He was telling people how he felt about me, everyone knows I don’t feel the same way.”
“They why are you staring into space?”
“He’s in love,” Mom says, smiling at me.
“But I thought you didn’t have feelings for Jeremy. Is there something you need to tell me?”
I sigh loudly. “No Dad. I met a woman a couple of weeks ago. We had an amazing night together. I thought we had something special, but I didn’t hear from her again. It’s been a struggle because she’s all I can think about.”
“Well damn. Trust you to fall for someone you’re never going to see again. You need to go out and get laid.”
“Tony!” Mom shouts at him.
“Sorry,” he says.
I laugh, this is totally normal in our house and Dad always ends up apologizing. “That’s the funny thing Dad, I did see her again at the wedding.”
“Really, so why do you look sad?”
“Because she was wearing a white wedding dress and was jilted by her future husband because he was in love with me.”
Dad slinks back in his chair. “Well, fuck me. This is better than Days of our Lives! So, you’re in love with Jeremy’s fiancé? Who would have thought that would happen?”
“I know. She’s next door with him now trying to sort out a plan to get her stuff and what they’re going to do.” I listen intently just in case I hear shouting or something smashing against the wall. I’m not sure what she’s going to say to him. “I’m worried she’s going to go back to him. And the worst thing is I don’t have her number to message her or ring her. It’s all down to her. She has my number and I have to wait and see if she feels the same way about me or not. It’s killing me.”
I slump down in my chair and lean back my head.
“Look, son, she’s been through a lot this weekend. She needs time to sort her head out. I think the best thing you can do is give her that time. Don’t breathe down her neck, let her come to her own conclusion about you.”
“You think so?”
“I do,” Dad says, looking at Mom.
“I don’t,” Mom says. “I think you need to tell her how you really feel and then let her have her space. She needs to know what she has to think about. If she says no after that, then you’ve got to move on, Saul.”
“Okay, thanks.” I still don’t have her number, but I have to rely on the fact that she promised she’d ring me. Today is going to be a long day.
Joss
After leaving Jeremy’s house we head back to the hotel to collect our clothes from Katie’s room where we got ready for the wedding. I’m going to leave them at Katie’s place while we go to the Seychelles. It’s going to give me two weeks to think about my life.
There’s no sign of Saul in the hotel and I wonder if he left early. I was looking forward to seeing him before I went on holiday, my heart drops to my feet. Maybe he’s gone and I won’t see him again.
“You okay over there?” Katie asks as she packs her suitcase.
“Yeah, I was just thinking of Saul.”
“You need to see him before you leave. Let him know how you feel. Don’t be afraid to let him down.”
“I don’t want to let him down, but I don’t want him to be a rebound either. He’s worth more than that.”
She smiles at me. “Well that answer should tell you how you really feel. And think about all the sex you can have!”
I throw my t-shirt at her. “Fuck you.” We both start laughing.
After we’ve finished packing and have spoken to the agent about changing names we head down to the bar for a couple of cheeky drinks. We don’t fly out until tomorrow morning so have time to chill.
When I’ve had my first drink I ring Saul.
“Hello?” He obviously doesn’t recognise my number.
“Hey, it’s Joss.”
“I’d know your voice anywhere, sweetheart.”
“When do you leave?” I sound desperate, needy even.
“In about four hours. How did it go?” He sounds like he has something specific he wants to ask.
“It went better than expected.”
“Have you gone back to him?”
“No way. Never. I want to move on and start again. I want to be happy.” I never thought I’d be saying that on the da
y after my wedding, but I know I have to put Jeremy behind me.
He lets out a really long breath. “Thank fuck for that. I’ve been worried all day.”
“Really? Did you seriously think I would give him more time to manipulate me? Not a chance. Do you want to meet up later before you leave?” I ask quickly before I change my mind.
“I’d love to, can we make it sooner rather than later?”
“Are you in a rush to get away?” I panic. Maybe he is ready to leave already.
“No, I’m in a rush to see you.”
I blush, knowing he can’t see me and my heart melts slightly, picking up speed. “I’m at the hotel if you want to come over. We’re in the bar. I’ll tell you all about it then.”
“I’m on my way, Joss. See you in a bit.” He sounds excited and it rubs off on me. I can’t wait to see him. We hang up and I smile to myself.
“That was short and sweet and I think I saw you blush somewhere along the way,” Katie says laughing and taking another sip of her drink.
“Yeah he said he can’t wait to see me. He asked if I’d gone back to Jeremy.”
“Wow, he’s keen! What are you going to do about it Joss? Do you really want to jump into a relationship straight away? And don’t forget he lives in Vegas, it’s not like he’s down the road.”
“I know, unfortunately. But I’ve got time to think about it, right?”
“Of course you have. No one is going to make you do anything you don’t want to anymore.”
We raise our glass and chat about the holiday. After a while I feel a tap on my shoulder turn to face the most handsome man, his green eyes bore into mine. But it’s his smile that makes him even more gorgeous. Those butterflies in my stomach earlier now give me fanny flutters. He does that to me with just a smile, imagine how I’d be if we did anything else.
“Hey.” Leaning down he kisses me on the cheek.
“Hey,” I say, blushing. What is it about this man that makes me want to flush all the time?