by Page Turner
“You think I don’t know that?” Viv said.
Neither Penny nor Karen answered that.
“That’s why I want to watch the tape,” Viv explained. “There’s a video in my mind starring every person I’ve ever known. For some people, say, a person I met in passing on the street who face-planted, they’re just quirky shorts. For other people, they’re more like sprawling epics. Like my memories of both of you.”
Karen and Penny both involuntarily smiled at this idea.
“There’s a video in my head of Mom, too, of course. A drama. And right now, it’s lacking an ending. I don’t care what’s on this tape. I have to see it. Because if I don’t, all there will be is an empty space, a place where the film just cuts out. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned from life is that I’d rather know what’s behind a closed door rather than be left wondering what could be there. My imagination is much scarier, much more potentially damaging than reality, than memory, ever could be,” Viv said.
“So what you’re saying is if you don’t watch the tape, anxiety will fill in the blank that’s left,” Karen summarized.
“Exactly,” Viv replied. “There’s always going to be something unpleasant there, occupying that empty space. Given the choice, I’d prefer it’s what actually happened.”
“Okay,” Penny said.
She started the tape.
The confession room camera produced astonishingly grainy tape, but Viv’s mother was discernible, as was the investigator in charge of eliciting the confession.
The audio quality was considerably better than the video, and every word rang loud and clear.
“What about the blood?” the investigator asked Tender.
Tender smiled. “What about it?”
“There were inkblots on the chest of a victim at every crime scene… and yet, when the coroner examined the victims, he couldn’t find a link between that blood and the cause of death. Autopsy revealed aneurysms to be the cause of death. Aneurysms that wouldn’t have led to any external expression of blood.”
“Your autopsy results are correct,” Tender replied. “They were bloodless deaths.”
“Fine,” the investigator said. “That’s consistent with the evidence… but if the blood didn’t come from their murders, then why is it there? Where did it come from?”
“It was mine,” Tender replied.
“Well, that’s what testing says so far,” the investigator replied. “Your blood type matches the sample, and we’ve sent it out for DNA analysis in the States, for a more exact match. But that doesn’t explain why. Were you wounded? Were they fighting back?” the investigator asked.
“Those are two questions. With two very different answers.”
“And those answers?”
“It’s not easy to absorb all of that psychic energy at once, you know,” Tender said. “It’s unnatural. It’s not the normal way someone like me would feed… if I hadn’t gotten so much hungrier all of a sudden. And if I weren’t forced to take such things underground. If I had my way, I wouldn’t gorge myself all in one go. Instead, I’d take little sips. Ladylike ones.”
Tender paused, considering this, before continuing, “Actually, what’s the difference now? I’m going away for life. It doesn’t take a precog to see that. I’ll be honest. That’s how I used to do it. I used to take small pieces of people as I went along. Enough to keep me going. Enough to hurt them. But not nearly enough to kill them. And not so much that they’d know exactly what I did.”
“And who were these people?” the investigator asked.
“I can’t remember now, all of them, exactly who they were, but generally? Pretty much every man I ever dated – and trust you, there were a lot of them. Random women I didn’t like. You know, the ones who judged me. Who said mean things about me when they thought my back was turned.”
“What about your children?” the investigator asked. “Did you ever feed on them?”
Viv inhaled sharply, dreading her mother’s answer to the question.
Tender frowned. “I don’t want to talk about that.”
“Of course she doesn’t,” Viv muttered.
Penny laid her hand on Viv’s arm, but Viv pulled away from her, rejecting the comfort.
On the tape, the interview continued. “Okay, so it was your blood. You got nosebleeds because you were… feeding on too much energy at once… is that about right?”
Tender nodded. “That’s how it works. My body couldn’t get handle it.”
“But why the inkblots? At every scene, the blood resembled a psychological projection test.”
Tender smiled. “To be perfectly honest, I’m not exactly sure why. It was like a high, you know? Draining people’s energy… especially that much at a time. I’d get too high and I had blackouts. And then later I’d come to, and there they were. Dead, bloodied. For all I know, I was fingerpainting. Maybe that’s just the way the blood fell. I’ll never know.”
The investigator stared at her incredulously, as though he didn’t quite believe her. But it was a minor issue. He trudged on to more important matters.
“So we’ve established that there was a need. That you needed to find a source of sanity. Why did you leave the second victim alive in each case?” the investigator said on the tape to Viv’s mother.
“Isn’t it obvious?” Tender replied.
“No,” the investigator said.
Tender pursed her lips together impatiently. “Take a look at me. Take a look at this figure.”
“Ma’am,” the investigator said, “I don’t see what your physique has to do with the case.”
Tender let out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t have enough of an appetite to finish off two intuitives all by myself,” she said.
“Is that a joke?” the investigator asked.
“No,” she replied. “The truth is that I can only absorb so much energy at a time before I burst. Some of us can fully deplete the minds of two, three, or even four people at a time. I have a more petite reserve. One and a half is about my limit. Any more and I risk bursting. Really, one at a time is ideal, but I didn’t have that sort of luck, and I couldn’t risk leaving a sane witness to rat me out. You understand.”
“I’m beginning to,” the investigator said. “And why these victims?”
“It was a mother’s duty,” Tender explained.
“How so?”
Tender scoffed at the question. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand,” Viv’s mother said.
“Why’s that?” the investigator said.
“You’ve never had a special child, have you?” Tender said.
“Well, I think all children are special,” the investigator said.
“You know that’s not what I meant. I’m talking about… a kid who’s different than others. Who needs extra help. Who isn’t suited to deal with the world like a regular kid,” Tender said.
“You have two children, don’t you?” the investigator asked.
“Yes, Viv and Love. Love’s a joy, really. I named her well. Always there for me. Always in my corner. Love’s brought me nothing but joy.”
“And Viv?”
“Something’s missing from Viv,” Tender said. “Always has been.”
“What do you mean by that? What do you mean when you say there’s something missing from Detective Lee?” the investigator asked.
“She’s like me. She’s a tuey. It’s funny. There are some people who say that tueys are different but that they’re better. Buncha kooks, if you ask me,” Tender said.
“Why do you say that?”
“They see that we can do things that they can’t. That we have extra abilities. Powers, some people call them. That’s the most misleading name I can think of for them. What has happened to us isn’t extra at all. We don’t have something you don’t. Instead, we’re damaged. Like a
wall with a big crack in it. Sure, the sunlight’s shining in, and it’s easy to be blinded by that. But there’s nothing powerful about us at all. We’re just conduits. And the only reason we can conduct these so-called powers is because we’re damaged enough for it to leak through us. We don’t have the normal filters someone like you does,” Tender said. “It’s easy for other things to leak in, too. Nasty stuff.”
“Interesting theory,” the investigator responded. “I still don’t see what this has to do with the murders.”
“The first one was a fluke, really. I was hungry, hungrier than I’d been in decades. I remembered those guards from my time at Nirvana Heights. I was an inpatient there for a bit, several years ago, back when this problem started but before it got really bad. Those guards were real bitches. Always laughing at me when they thought I couldn’t see them. Doing impressions. Mean girls,” Tender said.
“So you attacked them?” the investigator said.
Tender nodded. “I was hungry. I had to destroy someone. Couldn’t think of better candidates.”
“How did you find them?” the investigator asked. “They weren’t even working at the hospital anymore.”
“Oh that?” Tender said, flipping her hair. “That’s easy. I know a lot of powerful men, dear. I’m popular.”
“So you just asked around?” the investigator said.
Tender nodded. “Wasn’t hard. You’d be surprised how easy it is to track someone down if you know the right people and the right questions to ask.”
“Not really,” the investigator said. “You forget who you’re talking to.”
“Ah, law enforcement, you’re better than hunting people down than anybody,” Tender replied flirtatiously.
“In the best of worlds, that would be true,” the investigator replied, “but as you’ve noted, there are criminal ways at the same information.”
“Criminal?” Tender said. “That’s a little harsh.”
“Have you forgotten where you are, Ms. Lee?” the investigator asked.
Tender frowned. “What a cruel thing to say to a woman with a condition. And no, I’m perfectly aware of my circumstances. But not all people who are jailed are criminals, sir.”
“What about the other victims? Why them?” the investigator said, steering the conversation back on course.
“Like I said before, those were a mother’s duty,” Tender said.
“You still haven’t explained exactly what you mean by that,” the investigator said.
“When I attacked those bitches, I didn’t realize they were within Viv’s PsyOps district. That she’d be the one put on the case,” Tender said.
“Normally she wouldn’t be,” the investigator said. “The crime scene was located outside of PsyOps jurisdiction. But according to her report, Detective Lee had a premonition that the bodies would be there while she was out visiting you. And once she called in the case, PsyOps took it over.”
“That girl and her stupid visions,” Tender grumbled.
“Do you have any reason to doubt that Detective Lee is telling the truth? You didn’t tip her off to the scene of the crime, did you?” the investigator asked.
“I didn’t tell Viv what I had done, no. She’s telling the truth. Like I said, there’s a crack in her that lets the light in. That’s how she saw it. That’s how she knew what was there, after I left.” Tender chewed on her lip.
“…but…?” the investigator prompted Tender.
“She came to see me later. And she told me about the case, just talking about her job in general. She talked about other cases, too. I could tell she didn’t know I had anything to do with that scene. But as she talked, an idea came into my head. I knew that I’d be hungry again and soon. The emptiness was building. I guess in a way you could say that the crack in me was splitting open wider, and soon I’d spill out everything I had inside of me.”
“I don’t need metaphors, Ms. Lee. I need answers,” the investigator said.
“I got to thinking… what if I fed in Viv’s territory? What if I gave her a little something to do? What if I drummed up business for her? Gave her a chance to shine, you know.”
The investigator frowned. “Skinner-Watson is a dangerous place. PsyOps has enough on its hands to keep them busy for quite some time. Detective Lee didn’t need your help.”
“Of course she did,” Tender replied. “I’m her mother.”
The investigator paused, taking this in. “Okay, so let’s go over this again. Exactly how did you approach your victims? How did you attack them?”
Penny glanced over at Viv. Viv’s face was puffy and red, as though she’d been crying. And for the first time since Penny had known her, Viv’s irises had gone completely black.
Upsetting the Balance
They had taken a lot for granted, Karen realized. How well their powers meshed. How well they all got along.
The days following Tender Lee’s arrest seemed to belong to a different reality, one in which everything wasn’t so well balanced.
Viv’s medication stopped working the day of the arraignment. Karen was glad about this timing but felt guilty about it. After all, Viv was confined to a PsyOps medical ward for the day, postictal and fuzzy after an early morning seizure.
Karen knew Viv was in good hands with the team of specialists running tests on Viv. She wasn’t happy that Viv’s condition had taken such a sharp turn for the worse, but it did mean that Viv didn’t have to permanently commit yet another unpleasant day into her indelible eidetic memory.
It gave Karen comfort to know that there would instead be a mélange of strange visions and what Viv had once described as “smeary slowness” afterwards in that place.
Viv would never have to hear her mother’s arrogant plea of “less guilty than the rest of this kangaroo court, that’s for damn sure.” Nor would she see her once-refined mother spit on the ground after saying so.
Viv would never have to see her mother unnervingly disheveled at the initial court appearance, a real shocker if Karen had ever seen one. Karen had expected Tender to turn out impeccably dressed as always, coiffed to the point where she looked like she should be arguing someone else’s case, not appearing to be charged.
“I can’t work out what’s going on with Tender showing up to court looking like that,” Penny commented after the hearing.
“Me neither,” Karen admitted. “She’s got a good lawyer. It would be easy for her to find a way to clean up for court. And you’d think she’d want to, after all. I never saw that woman without makeup on before today.”
“Has she given up? Is she angling for an insanity plea? Or has she legitimately lost her mind? I can’t see any other way a woman like that, with her values system, lets herself go… It just doesn’t add up,” Penny said.
Karen nodded. “Maybe she’s starving to death in there.”
The State had heavily drugged Tender post arrest and continued to do so while she was in jail awaiting trial. Every day she received a mix of chemicals designed to depress intuitive powers, doled out in what seemed to Karen like incredibly irresponsible dosages.
Another thing she could not tell Viv, Karen told herself. The list was growing rather long.
In fact, they didn’t talk much. Even after Viv was given a clean bill of health (“for now,” Viv stipulated glumly) and discharged home, Karen found herself talking to Viv less than she ever had.
They stuck to mandatory communication:
“Here’s your medicine, don’t forget to take your dose.”
“You’re in my way.”
“Can I use that after you?”
There was far less mandatory communication than normal, too. They didn’t have work to talk about. And wouldn’t for a while.
In light of recent events, Martin had approved a leave for the team. “A short leave,” he’d said, which had set Karen up with m
odest expectations.
“Short” turned out to be four weeks, however.
Four weeks off.
Karen couldn’t remember the last time she’d had four weeks off, not since her time in mental institutions, which in some ways was its own kind of work, staying alive and afloat there. It was hard, after all, to survive when you didn’t want to.
Visions of elaborate vacation floated through her head.
They’d talked about it for years, the three of them, fantasized aloud about all the places they’d go if they could just have enough time off. When Martin had broken the news, he’d said that he’d be willing to kick in some of his own personal funds if they had a place they wanted to go.
Karen’s heart had soared. Penny beamed.
But Viv had only grunted. And that should have probably told her something.
And now Viv had started to break down, to get sick. She slept later and went to bed earlier every day. Some of that was likely due to the new meds. Karen could remember how drowsy some of her own psych meds had made her. But was that all of it?
Karen wasn’t so sure.
The first week disappeared with Viv primarily living through dreams. Or at least that’s what Karen assumed, since Viv wasn’t talking to either of them.
Karen also noted with increasing alarm that the presence of Viv and Penny wasn’t blocking her empathy the way that it had always done before. It did seem like they were turning down the intensity and the volume of what she felt psychically, but bits of emotions were making their way through.
It was like a curtain had been nudged slightly out of alignment, and shafts of light were flowing into a previously dark room. A room that had once been calming, relaxing, tranquil.
A place where she could rest.
The same time that Viv was plunging into darkness, Karen found herself assaulted by unbidden glaring light.
Or maybe it was how Tenny had put it in her confession: Maybe the wall itself had cracked and was letting the light through.
“I wonder if we’ll all ever be in the same emotional place ever again,” Karen found herself wondering aloud, to no one. It sounded dramatic to her as she said it, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that something had fundamentally changed, maybe forever.