by Alta Hensley
I willed my body to follow the man, even though warning bells were going off that this man was not to be trusted. But again, my bladder didn’t give me much of a choice.
Leading me to the head, he opened the door and stepped inside. I followed him into the small space and then turned expecting him to exit and wait outside the door. When he remained in place, I asked, “Can you leave?”
“No,” was his simple reply.
The idea of relieving myself in front of this man infuriated me. “I don’t need you to watch over me.” I glanced at the small room that had a shower against one wall, a sink with a mirror, and a toilet. It too had no window. It wasn’t like I could do anything other than use the toilet in this room even if I wanted to.
“Go.”
“No,” I declared. “I’m not going to go piss in front of you.”
His expression hadn’t changed since the moment he came for me, but I could see his eyes darken at my refusal.
“Go now.” This time his voice stabbed into my soul. I was not going to win this battle, but I still was not going to go pee in front of him.
“All I ask is that you leave the room. I would like a little privacy. Please.”
“Either go now, or I’ll take you back to your room. You can sit in your own filth for all I care. I don’t care where you go.”
He was lucky we weren’t on the battlefield. I would have killed him right then and there.
“Fine,” I said as I lowered my pants. “If you don’t care where I go,” I added as I squatted right in front of him. “I’ll piss right here, thank you very much.” I emptied my bladder in the middle of the room, staring directly into his eyes as I allowed every ounce of liquid to release from my body.
Pike remained emotionless. He didn’t say a single word or do a thing. His lack of anger was far worse than any wrath he could inflict. My knees wobbled as I remained in my squat, and I just hoped I wouldn’t fall. He scared me. There was no doubt about that, and yet here I was. The fool pissing on the floor mere inches from my captor’s boots.
He didn’t move. He didn’t speak. If I didn’t know better, I would say he wasn’t even breathing. My actions had no effect on him, and I instantly regretted it. My childish act gave him the power. I was now the woman squatting in front of a man with piss dripping out of me. Humiliation for me, honor for him. Without doing a single thing, Pike won this battle. Damn him.
As I stood and pulled up my pants, Pike raised one eyebrow and asked nonchalantly, “Are you done?”
“I am a fucking soldier. Not a fucking slave. Remember that.” Clenching my teeth, I straightened my shoulders and tried to muster as much pride as I could and glided past him, leading myself back to my room. I could hear his footsteps behind me, and could almost feel his smugness burning against the back of my head.
I didn’t know why I was afraid of the man. He wouldn’t kill me or risk losing the bounty for my delivery. 720 hours was quite the investment, and no doubt, I was worth a high price. But there was something that terrified me about him. Was it the red? Was it how bright it shone?
Red like the devil. Yes, that was it. Pike had the devil sitting inside of him, exuding all the scarlet around. The devil resided within, just waiting to cast me off to hell.
When I pushed the button, waiting for the door to open, Pike reached for my upper arm and took hold. It didn’t hurt, but his grasp was tight. He led me into the room and forced me to sit on the edge of the bed by pushing me down. He knelt down and reached under the bed, pulling a long chain and metal choker from underneath.
“You don’t need to chain me,” I said as panic began to set in. “I have no intention of trying to escape.”
He didn’t reply but instead grabbed me by the back of the neck, pulled my head into him, and clasped the collar securely around my neck. He pushed some buttons on a small keypad on the side of the collar, securely locking it into place. It was tight enough that when I swallowed, I could feel my flesh connect with the cool restraint. Was this my punishment for pissing in front of him? Cross had warned me to behave…repeatedly.
Tugging on the collar to make sure it was locked, Pike said, “You will discover soon enough that my brother and I have very different rules. You will remain collared and chained until I say otherwise.”
I reached for the collar and tried to pull it away from the front of my neck to no avail. “Please. It makes it hard to breathe.”
“Yes.” He stood up, not caring in the slightest.
“Please, I have attacks,” I took a deep breath, feeling the walls close in again, “I panic at times. I can’t breathe. This is making me—”
“Enough,” he interrupted. Without saying another word, he entered a code to the door and exited, leaving me grasping at the metal around my neck struggling for air.
My heart beat so hard against my chest, that I was positive I could die from the hysteria overwhelming me. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t breathe! I did everything I could to pull the collar away, but the more I struggled, the worse it seemed to get. The rough edges were rubbing my skin raw as I pushed and pulled.
I got up and walked to the mirror to see if I could find a latch to remove the restraint. The heavy chain dragging behind me, only pulled at the collar more. There was enough chain that I could maneuver around the entire room, though awkwardly. When I saw my reflection in the mirror, the contrast of the dark metal to my white skin made my awful situation even more of a reality. Staring back at me was nothing but a Pallid Slave, collared, chained, captive.
Running over to the intercom, I hit the button and screamed into it. “I can’t breathe! This collar is too tight. I can’t breathe. Do you hear me? Come back!” I banged my hands on the door as hard as I could over and over.
No response.
I hit the intercom button again. “Please! Cross! Pike! I swear to you that I will be good. I’ll be good and never give you an issue again. Just please remove the collar. I can’t stand it.” Damn these fucking panic attacks. “Please! I beg you.”
No response.
My chest constricted and I wheezed with all my might to take in some air. I would suffocate. I would die. I would fucking die right in this damn room if someone didn’t come and help me.
Crumpling down to the ground, I pulled my knees to my chest and allowed the tears to fall. With my fingers in between the metal and my neck, I slowly managed to calm myself just enough to know I wasn’t going to die like I thought only seconds before. But maybe I wanted to. Maybe I wanted to die so I didn’t have to endure over 700 hours of pure hell. Over 700 hours of being nothing but a pathetic slave being transported to her ultimate fate of the worst death imaginable. To be mutated and then killed.
I was so lost in my misery that I didn’t hear the door to my room open. It was the soft gold light of Cross that caught the corner of my eye that notified me that he had heard my plea.
Looking up at him with tears streaming down my face, I begged, “Please, Cross. I don’t do well in tight spaces, and I can’t survive with something so tight around my neck.”
“Claustrophobia?” he asked.
“Call it what you want,” I choked out. “I beg you to please remove it.” I pulled at the collar to emphasize my appeal.
He knelt down beside me and looked me straight in the eyes. “Okay, Truth. Look at me and take slow, deep breaths.” He placed his fingertip on my cheek and stroked softly. “Calm down. You are going to be just fine.”
I shook my head. “No, I can’t breathe.”
He moved his fingertip and gently ran it along the collar where it met my neck. He dipped his finger between the metal and flesh and said, “There is plenty of room. It’s all in your head. You can breathe.”
“No,” I wheezed, continuing to cry. “Please.”
He removed his hand from the collar and placed it on my head. Slowly he stroked his fingers through my hair, never taking his eyes away from mine. “Shhh…just calm down. Calm down. Once you are calm, you will see t
hat the collar is giving you plenty of room to breathe.”
“Why can’t you take it off? Please!”
He shook his head. “Pike put it on, which means Pike is the only one who can take it off.”
Why was this man allowing Pike to dictate everything? Fucking coward! Could he not stand up to his own brother?
“I’ll do anything,” I gasped, although I did seem to be breathing better as the moments passed. His gentle touch and petting of my hair did seem to ease some of my distress.
“Deep breaths,” he cooed as he leaned in and kissed my cheek with the most tender of touches. “Breathe in, breathe out.”
I followed his command and did my best to regain control of my body.
“That’s a good girl,” he praised. “One breath at a time.” He kissed my cheek again and then my forehead, continuing to stroke my sweaty hair. “You are going to be just fine.”
Would I be? How could I be just fine ever again?
“I hate it,” I cried. “Why is he so cruel? Why do you allow him to be so cruel to another human being? I may be a slave, but I am still a woman.”
He nodded. “I know.”
“So why do you allow it?”
“I warned you.”
“Do I deserve to be treated like an animal?” I asked. It appeared that my words did make a difference, but I also got the sense that there was no use trying to convince Cross to go against his brother.
Cross placed both palms on each side of my face and forced me to stare directly into his eyes. “You need to behave. This trip is long. I have seen what Pike does to slaves who disobey, and I promise you that this collar will be minor in comparison. Behave. Do you understand me? You have nothing to prove. You will lose.”
“I have already lost,” I pointed out. “I lost the battle, I have lost my planet to the Drenken, I have lost my sister forever, and I have lost my freedom. There is nothing more for me to lose.”
“But there is. My brother has a way of making his slaves lose so much more. Don’t push him. Just don’t.”
“Why will you allow it?”
“It’s who my brother is. You can’t change Pike.” He leaned in and kissed me gently on the forehead one last time before standing up. “And this is who I am.” He extended his hand to assist me up now that I was breathing normally again.
Standing, I took a moment to allow the slight dizziness to dissipate. Cross placed his arm around my body to hold me steady while the room swirled around me. It hadn’t taken long to feel back to my old self.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
I nodded.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a key. “I can unlock the chain so you can follow me into the galley, but I won’t remove the collar. It would only upset Pike.”
There was no use arguing with Cross any further. It was so odd. He clearly didn’t like the fact that I was collared, and yet he wasn’t going to do a thing about it. They were twins. Why was one brother in more of the authoritative position than the other? That certainly was not the way with my sister and me. We were equals.
Cross unlocked the chain, and the removal of the weight helped ease the pressure on the collar a little. He then grabbed my arm and led me out of the room. Entering the galley, I saw Pike sitting at the table. The galley was dimly lit, so the red light emitting from Pike’s figure was all the more pronounced. When he looked up, he scowled seeing me walking beside Cross.
“What is she doing out of her room?” he asked.
“She’s hungry,” Cross replied as he pulled out a chair and softly forced me to sit down across from Pike.
“Feed her and then send her back to her room,” Pike commanded as he stood to leave the room. It was as if the sight of me made the man sick. How was that so? I had done nothing—well unless you counted pissing in front of him—to warrant such hatred.
Cross quickly did as he instructed and made me up a meal of dried meat and vegetables. Dried vegetables! I hadn’t had a real vegetable in years. My mouth watered as he put the tin plate in front of me.
“When the food makes contact with your saliva, it will expand in your mouth. So it doesn’t look like much, but it will fill you up nice and good.”
The fact that he felt he had to justify or explain a meal that by far was the best spread I had seen in a long time, made me smile. “Thank you very much. I haven’t had a real vegetable in quite sometime.”
He nodded and returned my smile. “They aren’t as scarce on every planet as they are on Unin.”
I dug in, placed a dehydrated green root into my mouth, and giggled when it grew twice its size the minute it hit my tongue. Cross’s smile grew wider but he didn’t say anything as he just sat down and watched me eat. It seemed to give him pleasure.
At that moment, as I ate bite after bite of pure joy, I temporarily forgot that I was nothing but a Pallid Slave collared and captured. For now, I ate.
23
Finding a way to lay on my bed comfortably with the collar still so tight against my flesh wasn’t easy, but I knew I had to learn how to accept it, or risk having continual panic attacks which couldn’t be an option any longer. I needed to be strong. I had to find strength to survive. I had to. Finding my own internal peace would be the only thing to get me through this ordeal.
It had been about an hour or so since Cross escorted me back to the room, and I decided to take the time to really accept my surroundings and absorb them into my soul. If I could come to terms and welcome my new situation, I would be all right. I didn’t know for sure what was in store for me on Canary, but I had to deal with the moment. My sister used to strongly believe in not worrying about tomorrow but rather focus on today. Today, my concentration would be on breathing and comfort. Finding comfort. Rather than seeing this room as a cell, I needed to change my opinion and see it as my haven. Trick my mind, and trick my soul. It wouldn’t be the first time.
When the door to my room opened, I was surprised that Cross had returned so quickly. It wasn’t time to eat again, and I hadn’t used the intercom. Sitting up to face him, my heart stopped when I saw that it was Pike who marched into the room.
I remember once when my sister and I were really young, we had watched a huge storm brewing from the west. The clouds swirled around and came at us faster than we could take shelter. We had run as fast as we could while the wind howled around us, slapping at our faces. Rain, lightning, hail. A torrential downpour of chaos all around. I remember that storm clearly.
It was nothing compared to the storm standing in my room.
“Do not ever try to appeal to my brother’s kindness again!” he bellowed out, stomping straight toward me.
“What? I don’t know what you mean,” I stammered, feeling the collar tighten as I scurried back toward the headrest of the bed, terrified at the fury I saw in Pike’s eyes. Cross must have tried to change Pike’s mind about keeping me shackled like an animal. He must have tried to plead my case about the collar after all. Cross strove to be my lionheart. And evidently…he had lost the crusade.
He bolted in my direction and reached out, grabbing a handful of my hair, pulling me mere inches from his face. “Do you think tears will work? Do you think that begging for mercy will make my brother go against me? Against my will?”
“I’m sorry,” I squeaked. The sting from my hair being yanked by the man caused tears to well in my eyes. “I felt as if I couldn’t breathe.”
He tugged my hair harder, forcing my head to go back so I had to stare into his demon eyes. My throat stretched—so exposed. I wondered if he would bite down and suck from my blood like an ancient monster that tales were told of.
“Are you nothing but a weak little slave?”
“Fuck you.” The words shot past my lips like a bullet before I had time to think them through. Before I had time to really ponder the consequences that would come from such a defiant utterance.
Pike’s eyes darkened, and the red hue of his skin seemed to turn a bolder crimson. The color
that once flowed freely through his body of bright red, seemed to clot in patches of blood red. Fury was visible. Wrath was inevitable.
“Right now. You will remember right now forever,” he growled.
I wanted to apologize. I wanted to plead for compassion. I wanted to reach into the depths of his evil and pull out even an ounce of humanity. And yet, the trained soldier in me wanted to kill. I wanted to decimate. To destroy. To rip his flesh from his bones with my teeth. Beg or kill. Plead or destroy. Fuck him. The soldier in me won this battle. The soldier in me took full control.
I spat in his face, smiling when I could see the shock caused by my rebellion twinkle in his eye.
“Fuck you,” I said again.
“Right now,” he repeated. “Right now you will remember.”
Without wasting another second, Pike tore my clothing off so fast and furious that I didn’t even have time to comprehend and try to stop the onslaught. Soon, clothes that once concealed my opaque body, became shreds of fabric tossed around by a beast before me.
I tried to fight him off, even though I knew it was pointless. I was a soldier, trained to assess my opponent. He was bigger. Stronger. Pike would win this battle regardless of how hard I struggled.
But that didn’t mean I wouldn’t try.
“Don’t you dare fucking touch me!” I screamed as I tried to scratch out his eyes.
Gripping my hands above my head, he flung me back hard against the bed, only giving me a second to realize I was completely nude at this point.
“I will do more than touch you,” he growled. Gripping both my wrists with one of his beefy hands, he punched at the buttons on my collar with the code. A synthetic-sounding beep let me know that the collar had been unlocked. “Don’t want the collar? Allow me to help you then,” he said as he snapped the latch open, removed the metal, and tossed it to the floor.