I had to remember everything about the night Sam killed Jarren. It was fairly easy because that night had haunted me in my sleep on and off since I’d received that letter from Kyle. I recalled the look of uncertainty on Sam’s face when Macie said she would wait for me to say goodbye to Jarren. And the look of pure fear when he came back to see that Macie had been hurt. The thing I hadn’t noticed before, though, was the look of sorrow he wore after he’d done what he had to do to protect us. The look had been fleeting, quickly replaced by a stony, impassive look, but I’d seen it.
The next thing I had to do was try to channel Sam’s thoughts and feelings from that night, which proved to be the hardest task yet. I had been so focused on Jarren during the ride to the airport and too freaked out during the actual fight. Once it was over and I knew Macie was okay, I had sat in the backseat of Sam’s truck and cried as I silently blamed myself for the entire night.
Martha brought me dinner the first night of my fake flu. To her, it was obvious that I was struggling to get into Sam’s mind. I told her how I’d shut myself in the truck and pretended to sleep to avoid everyone until we’d gotten back to Macie’s aunt’s house.
“Silly girl,” she’d started. “I know you know better than to blame yourself for anything that happened that night. If you hadn’t told Jarren where you were, he would have followed Macie to Washington. He would have gotten to her one way or another. The only thing you did was help her out by making sure she wasn’t alone when he did get to her.”
I cried as she spoke. She hugged me tight before leaving me alone in my room again. After the soup she’d brought and a long shower, I decided to sleep before I tried again.
I woke up ready to conquer the task at hand, thanks to Martha. I laughed at the joke that Divided Paths and its rehabilitation tactics were. Martha had gotten through to me more than any of my counseling sessions with Matt or meditation periods with Keelie combined.
I sat at the foot of my bed and closed my eyes. I started out by thinking of Sam—the way I knew him now. I pictured him on his hands and knees in my bedroom floor, playing tug of war with Pookah. His exceptionally large arms flexed as he moved from side to side and pretended to growl at her. Her tail wagged like crazy and I felt myself smiling at the thought of them.
Once I saw Sam clearly in my mind, I focused in on that night. I saw the entire altercation through his eyes. I saw him gently lay Jarren’s lifeless body in the back of a truck in the parking garage. I felt the way his stomach churned as he placed his jacket over him and shut the tailgate. I watched as he explained to Jasper what had happened and could tell that the nonchalance he portrayed was nothing but a front.
I opened my eyes and took a deep breath. My hands were trembling, and my throat was dry and scratchy. I didn’t want to see any more, but I knew I had to.
Seconds later I was back in Sam’s mind on that terrible night. He hotwired the truck with Jarren’s body in it and drove with Jasper in the passenger seat. Jasper gave him directions to some abandoned old house in the middle of nowhere. There was a gate blocking the drive up to the house, so Jasper got out and broke the chain.
“Pull around to the back and I’ll get a shovel from the shed,” Jasper said.
Sam nodded. I noticed he hadn’t said a word since we’d left the airport.
After Jasper grabbed a shovel, he directed Sam to the back of the property where a line of trees grew sporadically.
“Want me to take the first turn?” Jasper asked as they both got out of the truck.
“Nah, man. This is my mess,” Sam said quietly.
“Hey, don’t do that. If you wouldn’t have taken that guy out, then I’d be a fucking mess right now trying to deal with losing Macie. You did what had to be done. You don’t have to punish yourself for that.”
“I didn’t want to kill him,” Sam said. His voice shook with emotion. “I saw Macie lying there, helpless. Then the look on Taylor’s face as he tried to come at her. I just couldn’t give him the chance to do that again, J.” Tears ran down his cheeks and his chest heaved as he began to sob.
I’d seen enough. I opened my eyes and realized I had tears of my own on my cheeks. My heart broke for Sam. Then it broke again for the relationship I’d thrown away before I’d bothered asking for the facts.
I allowed myself to wallow for a half hour. Then, I pulled myself together and got ready for the next step of Martha’s plan.
I went to Taryn’s room and knocked lightly. I was relieved when I heard footsteps inside her room.
“Taylor? What are you doing here?” she asked as soon as she opened the door.
“I need to talk to you, Taryn. It’s important and I don’t have anyone else I can trust,” I said in a panicked voice.
“Of course! Come in.”
I followed her to the small sofa and sat beside her. I noticed the glass of water sitting on the table in front of us and relaxed.
“What’s going on?” she asked as she gently placed her hand on my back.
“It’s all this Executer stuff. I’m so stressed out about it all and I feel like I’m having to deal with it all alone,” I sniffed.
“Hey, it’s going to be okay. Let me help you. What’s gotten you so worked up?” I could tell by her voice that she was buying into my act.
“Would you mind grabbing me some water first?” I asked.
“Of course.”
I clutched the small baggy on the inside of my pocket as I watched her head toward the small kitchenette. It was filled with crushed sleeping pills I’d gotten from Martha the day she’d suggested this plan.
I’d just finished dumping the contents of the baggy into Taryn’s glass of water when she came back with another glass in her hand.
“Thank you, Taryn. You don’t know how much I appreciate this,” I said sweetly as I took the glass from her.
“What are friends for?”
I gave her a small smile while she took a large drink of her water. “Did you know that Mariah wanted you to be one of…her followers?” I asked.
“Of course, I did.”
“How? Did she ask your permission?” I asked, more intrigued.
“Well, she and Matt explained it to Brent and I together. They gave us a week to make our decision. We could either leave or join them. We both chose to stay, obviously.”
She took another long drink and held the glass in her lap instead of sitting it back on the table. The way she was acting made me think she was uncomfortable with the conversation topic I’d chosen.
“Why wouldn’t she give me the chance to choose?”
“She did, silly,” she said as she brought her glass back to her lips for another large drink.
“No, she didn’t,” I said slowly.
“I was there. In the Gathering Room. She asked if you wanted to become something special and you were instantly interested. Before she’d even explained all of the details, you were practically begging her to accept you.” She giggled awkwardly before taking yet another gulp of her drink.
I narrowed my eyes at her. “You’re lying to me.”
“What? Why would I lie?” she asked in an unusually high-pitched voice.
“Why wouldn’t you? I can’t believe I trusted you. You don’t want to help me; you want to trick me!” I snapped.
Another drink of her water. This time she finished off the glass and I smiled as I stormed out of her room.
I waited in the stairwell for twenty minutes before I snuck back into Taryn’s room. Her body was slumped over on the small sofa we’d been sitting on. I attempted to lift her so I could carry her to the bed, but I wasn’t as strong as I thought I was.
That damn meditation is doing nothing for my body, I thought to myself as I rolled my eyes. The sofa would have to do. I shoved Taryn’s body until her head was resting on one arm rest and her feet on the other. I tried to be as gentle as possible, but I figured she’d have a couple bruises starting when she woke up.
I knew I had to do exactly what M
artha had told me. I also knew that if I messed up, I wouldn’t get another chance like the one I had now.
I rested my hand on Taryn’s forehead and took a deep breath as I cleared my mind. After a moment I saw myself standing with Taryn outside of the café.
“What is this? Taylor, what are you doing?” she asked as she whipped her head from side to side, taking in her surroundings.
“Calm down, Taryn. You’re fine. I have something to show you.”
“I don’t want to hear anything you have to say,” she said loudly.
“Yeah, I figured as much. That’s why I’m going to show you,” I told her as I rolled my eyes. I was already annoyed by her, which made it harder to keep my mind focused on the task at hand. I knew I had to hurry before she said something to set me off and I lost the hold I had over her.
I didn’t give her time to say anything else before I grabbed her hand and forced her to see what really happened the night Jarren died. I watched the whole thing with her, hand in hand. I saw a tear roll down her cheek as she watched Sam break down.
When the vision I’d forced her to see was over, I opened my eyes and backed away from her. She was still sound asleep and would be for several hours, so I went back to my room to wait and hoped she’d believe the truth whenever she woke up.
I lay on my bed and squeezed an extra pillow as I thought of Sam again. Seeing how heartbroken he was over what he’d done to protect me and Macie was the hardest thing to watch. He barely knew Macie at the time, and I’m not sure he even knew my name that night. Yet, he never hesitated to do whatever it took to keep us safe.
I wanted to talk to him so badly. I wanted to tell him I was stupid for breaking up with him. I needed to apologize for letting my fear make that decision for me. And to promise him that I’d never make that mistake again. But all of that would have to wait. I wouldn’t let myself leave Divided Paths until I was certain I’d taken Sam off their radar. If that meant I had to drug everyone in the center and force them to see the truth, then so be it.
Sam
“She’s great, Sam. We were just eating some cereal for breakfast,” Nat said through the phone.
“Thanks for keeping her. I really appreciate it. I can’t imagine not being here to help Taylor,” I said as I gripped the back of my neck with my free hand.
“Stop thanking me. I might not give her back when you’re ready,” she snickered.
“I’ll try to call again before she goes to bed. Thanks again, Nat.” I laughed when I heard her start to reprimand me for thanking her and hung up the phone.
“All good with Demi?” Macie asked as she walked out of her and Jasper’s hotel room and stood beside me in the hallway.
“Seems that way,” I sighed.
“I’ll never understand how you became a Raider,” she said as she shook her head.
“What do you mean? You know the story.”
“I know, but that doesn’t mean it makes sense. You’re so kind and selfless, Sam. You’re one of the most protective people I know when it comes to your friends. I just can’t help but think you were meant to become something else, something better,” she shrugged.
“Mace, I wasn’t any of those things before I met you. I saw how you changed Jasper, and how badly he wanted to change for you. That’s when I realized I wanted a reason to want to change. Taylor is my reason and she always will be, even if she doesn’t want me.”
She wrapped her small arms around me and squeezed me as tight as she could. I chuckled at her weakness and hugged her back. Jasper chose that moment to open the door.
“Yeah, we’re definitely getting your girlfriend back,” he said with a raised brow. Macie and I laughed, and she kissed his cheek.
“Let’s go break her out,” I said as I clapped Jasper on the shoulder. I pressed the button for the elevator and stepped back as we waited.
Just as the bell chimed and the doors opened, I felt a splitting pain in the back of my head. It made me see spots for a second and I stumbled backwards until I felt the wall behind me. I could hear Macie and Jasper asking what was wrong, but the world was spinning, and I couldn’t see anything. I slid down against the wall until I was sitting on the floor. I put my hands on my temples and squeezed in an attempt to get the pain to stop. I heard someone saying my name, but it wasn’t Macie or Jasper, although I could still hear them in the background. The second time I heard it I could have sworn it was Taylor’s voice.
“Quiet. I need quiet,” I said gruffly to Macie and Jasper. Once their voices stopped I was able to hear the other more clearly.
“Sam. Focus on my voice, Sam. Relax and focus on my voice.”
Chills broke out across my skin at the sound of Taylor’s voice in my head. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly as I tried to relax my body.
“Focus, Sam. Only on my voice.”
The more I focused on the sound of Taylor’s voice, the less I felt the pain in the back of my head. I took another deep breath and let it out just as slow as the first.
“Can you hear me?” she asked.
“I hear you,” I whispered.
Taylor came into view as the words left my lips.
“Is this real?” I asked, confused.
“It’s real, Sam. I don’t have much time. Don’t come to Divided Paths. Don’t come for me. It’s not safe. Promise me you won’t come,” she said, sounding panicked.
“Like hell I won’t.”
“It’s my turn to save you, Sam. Let me save you. You can’t come here.” She started shaking her head as her eyes filled with tears.
“I have to, Tay. I have to get you out of there,” I said softly, wishing I could comfort her.
She narrowed her eyes. “Give me another day,” she huffed. “Twenty-four more hours. Then you can swoop in to save me,” she said sarcastically.
“I can’t promise that, either. Tell me what’s going on.”
“I can’t stay here much longer,” she said. “I’m not strong enough.” I noticed the exhaustion in her voice.
“I’ll see you in twelve hours, Tay.”
She nodded as a single tear rolled down her cheek.
My eyes opened to a very freaked out Jasper and Macie staring back at me. I wanted to explain, but the pain in my head was back. I shut my eyes tight and used my palms to press against my temples as hard as I could. I could feel sweat beading on my forehead and was wondering how long it would be before I passed out from the pain, when suddenly, it stopped.
I sighed in relief before I opened my eyes.
“What the fuck just happened?” Jasper asked.
I shrugged and held my hand out for him to help me to my feet.
“I need some water.” My throat was so dry that my words were barely audible.
Jasper walked beside me as we went into his and Macie’s hotel room. I sat on the couch while Macie got a small bottle of water from the mini fridge.
“When you can, tell us what happened, Sam,” she said calmly, sounding a lot like Shiloh.
I nodded and chugged the water. Once it was empty, I sat forward and put my elbows on my knees.
“I saw her. Taylor. It was weird, and I know it sounds ridiculous as fuck, but she was inside my head.”
Jasper stared at me in confused shock while Macie nodded like she knew exactly what I was talking about.
“What did she say? Is she alright?”
I narrowed my eyes at Macie. “She’s fine. What do you know that we don’t? Why aren’t you freaked out by the fact that your friend invaded my mind of her own accord? Not to mention, it felt like I was being hit by a baseball bat in the back of the head. Repeatedly.”
“Mace? You know something about this?” Jasper asked her.
Macie swallowed hard before nodding. “Shiloh mentioned it the other night before you guys got there. We didn’t want to bring it up because we were hoping they hadn’t already tried to make Taylor into an Executer.”
“So, the fact that she’s developed this new skill means
that she is an Executer?”
Macie nodded.
“Explain, Macie! Stop leaving me in the fucking dark!” I chunked the empty bottle across the room.
“Easy, Sam,” Jasper warned.
“Taylor is able to feed people visions now. She can make them see whatever she wants them to see, whether it’s the truth or a lie. Shi said that most Executers never master the ability, and when they do the leader feels threatened. Shiloh said Mariah wouldn’t be very forgiving if we crossed her; I assume she’d feel the same way about Taylor.”
I was pacing back and forth in front of the couch.
“Wait, this wasn’t a vision. It was like real time. She was talking to me and I was talking back to her.”
Now, Macie’s face morphed into the confusion I’d expected to see earlier.
“Go call Shiloh, babe. See if he’s got anything else to go on,” Jasper told her.
I watched Macie walk out of the room. When the door latched I glanced at Jasper. His eyes were hard and I knew he was pissed at me.
“Do not lose your temper with her again. She wants Taylor back just as bad as you do. Remember that.”
I nodded. “I’m sorry, man.”
“Tell me what Taylor said to you.”
“She told me not to come for her,” I said with my brows pulled together. “She said it’s not safe and that I had to let her save me. Save me? From what?” I shook my head as I tried and failed to make sense of our conversation.
“She didn’t tell you what you needed to be saved from?”
“She didn’t have time to explain. I don’t think she’s strong enough to hold the connection very long. Kind of like when we transfer, it sounded like it took a lot out of her.”
“She needs to save you,” Jasper said quietly as he racked his brain for an explanation.
Macie came back into the room with wide eyes. “We’ve got a problem.”
Jasper stood and we both looked at her expectantly.
“Mariah Crain wants you dead,” she said as she looked right at me.
Want Me (Protector Series Book 3) Page 9