Taylor looked around the room at each of her friends as she waited for them to decide which path they’d take.
“I’m staying,” Brent said as he went to stand by Martha.
“Me, too,” the blonde said with a shy smile.
“I’ve never been to Seattle,” Taryn said with a shrug. Bennett nodded to her, pleased with her choice. Macie and Taylor also shared an excited glance as they watched Taryn stand next to Bennett.
“Well, if the party’s over, then, we’ve got a flight to catch.” We all looked at Jasper, who had his arms crossed over his chest. He never was fond of emotional goodbyes and shit.
Macie laughed at his attempt to cut the farewells short. “Let’s go, babe. I’ll call the taxi.”
“We’ll meet you there in twenty,” I told her. Taylor left my side to hug Martha and thank her for everything.
I snuck out of the room and found the elevator. A minute later I was on the fourth floor searching for Taylor’s room. I had planned on packing her things for her, but it looked as if she’d beat me to it. Her suitcase was on her bed; the drawers were empty, and so was the closet.
Taylor was waiting for me when I got off the elevator with her suitcase. She laced her fingers through mine and smiled up at me. “Get me out of here.”
“With pleasure.”
Jasper and I were quiet on the ride to the airport. Not that we could have gotten a word in between Macie and Taylor even if we’d wanted to. I think J was just wiped from all the shit we’d dealt with the past few days. I, on the other hand, had too much on my mind to talk. I was worried about where I stood when it came to Taylor, but I didn’t want to ask her to make that decision right away, after everything she’d been through. Besides, her opinion of me might change when she found out I told Kyle she’d be Demi’s guardian. I let out a heavy sigh as the taxi stopped to let us out.
“What’s on your mind?” Taylor asked, a worried expression on her face.
“Nothing that can’t wait.”
She smiled at me once again, and I hoped like hell I’d still have the opportunity to see that smile after we’d talked about everything.
Taylor
I hugged Macie once again before I let her get back into the taxi. The driver had dropped Sam and I off at his place, and we planned to meet up with Macie and Jasper for lunch tomorrow.
I took in the outside of the house before I followed Sam inside. It was on the smaller side, but not too small. I could tell it was two- story like the houses on either side of it.
“C’mon already,” Sam called from the doorway.
I smiled as I walked inside and saw the open-concept floor plan. The white trim and cabinets paired well with the dark wooden floors. “How many rooms are there?”
“Three. Mine is over there,” he pointed to the hallway on the left. “Two spare rooms and a bathroom are upstairs.”
I looked out the window and saw that he had a sizable backyard. I imagined Pookah running and playing back there. “I love it, Sam. This place is perfect.”
“I’m glad you think so,” he said as he took me by the hand and walked me to the sofa. “I know you’ve been through a lot, Tay. And I know you don’t want to, but we need to talk about some things.”
I sighed. “I know. You’re right.”
Sam placed his hand on my knee and opened his mouth to speak, but I raised my hand to stop him. “I’ll start,” I said quietly. I looked into his eyes and swallowed once. “I’m sorry, Sam. I’m so fucking sorry. I was scared and confused. I didn’t know how I could possibly be in love with you after what happened to Jarren. I thought something had to be wrong with me for feeling the way I felt about you, but I was wrong. I know that you’re a good person, and I know that you did what you had to do to protect Macie and I that night. I also know how hard it was for you to accept what had happened. I saw it. I saw the entire night when Mariah tried to make me believe you deserved to die.” His eyes started to get misty, so I reached for his hands to comfort him. “You are selfless and kind, and so many other wonderful things. I’m lucky to have been loved by you and stupid for not allowing myself to accept it when I had the chance.”
Sam’s hand cupped my cheek. “You’ll never lose your chance, Tay. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to convince myself to stop loving you.”
I gasped at his words and leaned into his touch. “I’ve done so much to hurt you. I can’t believe you’re even here right now.” Tears of regret started to spill onto my cheeks.
“Don’t cry. Please, don’t cry. I forgive you. I know why you did it,” he said, his voice full of emotion. “I knew deep down that you loved me all along. I also knew that you wouldn’t admit it until you learned to love yourself. It was never a question of you being able to love me; it was whether or not you could let me love you.”
I cried harder as he pulled me against his chest and wrapped his arms around me. I felt so safe in those arms, as if no one could ever harm me. Myself included.
A few moments later I was able to speak again. I pulled away from him so I could look him in the eyes. “You’re right,” I sniffed. “I went to Arizona to figure that out when I could have just listened to you.”
“You’re not one to take the easy way out,” he winked. I chuckled and tried to smack his arm, but he caught my hand and pulled me to him instead. His lips were on mine a second later. All of my doubts were melted away as I gripped his t-shirt and deepened the kiss. His palms framed my face while his thumbs wiped away the remnants of my tears.
He pulled away too soon. He rested his forehead against mine and sighed. It wasn’t a happy or relieved sigh like I’d expected. It was a weighted sigh that made my stomach sink. “I have to tell you something,” he said quietly.
I sat up straight and his hands fell to his lap. The look on his face told me that it wasn’t going to be good. “Don’t. Please, just don’t tell me. It can wait, Sam. Just let us have this moment. We deserve this moment.”
He shook his head slowly. “Taylor,” he started.
I cut him off by crashing my lips to his. He was hesitant at first, but after swiping my tongue against his lips a couple of times he caved and let me in. I moved onto his lap and straddled him. He groaned against my mouth, and I smiled at my victory.
“Tomorrow,” he said between kisses. I gave him a quick nod of compliance before I reconnected my mouth with his. His hands gripped my hair and tugged gently before they slid down my back to cup my bottom. Seconds later he stood and lifted me along with him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist as he carried me to his bedroom and playfully tossed me on the bed. He spent the night assuring me that I was deserving of his love. He promised that he wasn’t going anywhere countless times and just before we fell asleep, he whispered something about wishing I could promise the same thing.
I woke up alone. I could tell by the scents coming from the kitchen that Sam had made breakfast. I slipped on a pair of his boxers with my t-shirt before going to join him.
“Morning,” I mumbled as I rubbed my eyes.
“Good morning, beautiful.”
“What’s cooking?” I walked over to the stove to see for myself what was in the pan before he could answer. “Mmm, omelets.”
He swatted my hand when I tried to grab a piece of ham from the plate next him. “It’s almost ready. You can pour the coffee while you wait.” He smiled as he watched me grab the mugs from the cabinet, but something seemed off about it. Almost like it was forced.
Sam walked over with our plates as I added milk to my coffee. “Hope you’re hungry.”
“I’m starving,” I said with a grin.
We ate in silence for a while. All the while, the tension between us grew. He avoided making eye contact with me by staring at his plate like it was the most complex omelet he’d ever seen.
I dropped my fork on the plate. The noise it made got his attention. “Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you? Or should we just continue to ignore each other
?”
He let out a long breath and set his own fork down. “I was in your apartment looking for something that would give me more information about Divided Paths. I’d transferred and saw you while you were in a hospital bed and I needed to know what they were doing to you. While I was there, I found the letter Jarren’s brother wrote you.”
I stiffened, but he kept going. “I know it wasn’t my place, but I noticed that you ended things between us shorty after receiving that letter, and I had to know what it was about.”
“So, what’d you do? Write him back? Call him? What did he tell you?” I questioned, irritated that we were even talking about this at all.
“Actually,” he started as he rubbed his palms on his jeans nervously. “Jasper and I went to Florida to talk to him.”
My stomach sank and I felt the color drain from my face. That meant he knew everything now; he had to. I swallowed hard and averted my eyes to the floor. Sam came over and knelt down in front of me, forcing me to make eye contact with him. His eyes were filled with sadness and uncertainty. “Don’t be mad yet, Tay. I haven’t told you the rest.”
“Kyle needed my help with Jarren’s goddaughter. And you know that I ignored him. I turned my back on him and that kid. I’m not a good person, Sam. It’s okay to admit that and to stay away from me.” I stood and walked back into the kitchen as I hoped he wouldn’t see the tears on my cheeks.
“I brought her home, Tay.”
I whipped my head around to see that he was still on his knees where I’d left him, and his back was to me. His head was down, and his shoulders were slumped forward. I watched his back rise and fall, and he took a deep breath and released it before he could continue. “Her name is Demi. I told Kyle that I’d bring her to you. I’ve got all the guardian papers just waiting on your signature.” He paused and shook his head solemnly as he ran his hand over his face. “I know it wasn’t my decision to make, but after seeing where she lived and how she lived, I couldn’t just leave her there. I’m the reason Jarren isn’t around to take care of her, and it’s my fault Kyle got stuck raising a kid when he was just a kid himself. I understand that it’s a lot of responsibility, but I swear to you I will be there to help you every step of the way.”
I stood in shock as I tried to take in everything he’d just told me. I walked over to him slowly. He turned at the sound of my footsteps.
“Shit. Don’t cry.” He rushed to his feet and put his hands on both of my shoulders. “You don’t have to do this, Taylor. I can figure something out. I shouldn’t have bombarded you with something like this after everything you’ve been through. I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.”
“You think she would be better off with me?” I asked, my voice barely audible. I held my fingers to my mouth to try to stop my bottom lip from trembling.
Sam studied my face for a moment. “Is that a serious question?” he asked. “Of course, she would be better off, Taylor. You’re smart and kind. You’re forgiving and loving. You’re so fun and full of life. I can’t imagine anyone being better fit to take care of a little girl that’s lost everyone close to her.”
I gasped at the sincerity in his eyes. “I haven’t been those things the past few months,” I said as I shook my head.
He pulled me into his chest and wrapped his strong arms around me. “Taylor, you have to stop doubting yourself. That’s all that has changed these last few months. You doubted that you’d be able to help Kyle. You doubted that you were deserving of my love. Now, you’re doubting that you can give Demi an amazing life. I’m here to tell you that Kyle is going to be just fine now. I’m here to love you until you physically remove me from your presence. And I’m here to help you give that little girl a better life than she’s ever dreamed of having.”
I sobbed into his chest as we stood there in his kitchen. How he understood me so completely, I didn’t know, but knowing that he believed in me was enough to convince me to do almost anything.
Sam
I had texted Nat on the way to Macie and Jasper’s and asked her to send Demi outside when we pulled up. I wanted to give Taylor a little privacy when she saw her for the first time.
“I’m nervous,” Taylor muttered when I put the truck in park.
I jumped out of the truck and jogged around to open her door. “She’s going to love you,” I assured her as I grabbed her hand to help her out.
“Sam!” I heard Demi shout behind me. I turned around and scooped her up for a hug.
“Me missed you,” she said through her giggling.
“Me missed you, too,” I chuckled.
I sat her down in front of me. “Demi, this is Taylor. She’s my friend and she wants to be your friend, too. Is that okay?”
Taylor got down on her knees and smiled at Demi with misty eyes. “Hi, there,” she said sweetly.
“You’s pretty,” Demi said as a smile spread across her face.
“You’re really pretty, too.”
“Me has curls, too.”
Taylor reached out and ran her hand over Demi’s wild hair. “They’re the prettiest curls I’ve ever seen.”
Demi beamed before jumping into Taylor’s arms and kissing her cheek. Taylor looked at me, shocked, before she started to laugh and kissed Demi’s cheek in return.
“We friends,” Demi said matter-of-factly as she wiggled out of Taylor’s hold. She grabbed both of our hands and walked us into the house.
Macie was the first one to greet us. And by greet us I mean she wrapped her arms around Taylor’s waist and squeezed her as tight as she could. Demi ran off, distracted by Pookah’s barking. Taylor wrapped both arms around Macie and squeezed her back equally as tight. “Boobs. Face. Suffocating,” Macie mumbled into her chest.
We all laughed as Taylor let her go and gave her a peck on the forehead.
“How are things?” Jasper asked as he clapped me on the shoulder.
I put my hands in my pockets and shrugged as I considered his question. “All things considered, they’re good, man.”
I hugged Nat and thanked her and Shiloh for helping with Demi. “I’m actually kind of sad to give her back,” Nat said with a small smile.
“I’m sure we’ll need a sitter from time to time,” I told her as I watched Taylor and Demi play in the floor with Pookah. Macie joined them, and the sound of their laughter was enough to let me know that I’d made the right decision.
“So what’s the plan from here?” Shiloh asked as he handed me a bottle of water.
Taylor looked up at me as she waited for my answer. “Well,” I said as I scratched my head.
“We’re just winging it, honestly,” Taylor said as she winked in my direction.
“Exactly,” I nodded.
“I’m fairly certain that’s what all parents do,” Nat chuckled.
Parents. I smiled before taking a long drink of water. The rest of the dinner was a blur. I went through the motions of laughing and nodding the best I could. When it was time to leave, I briefly hugged Macie and Nat, then waited in the truck while Taylor and Demi said goodbye to everyone.
Demi fell asleep on the way to Taylor’s apartment. I carried her inside while Taylor carried Pookah and her things behind me. I laid Demi on the couch gently and grabbed a blanket to lay over her. “I’m going to get her things out of the truck,” I whispered to Taylor.
When I came back with several sacks from mine and Jasper’s shopping spree, Taylor was in the kitchen. I sat the stuff down beside the door and went to her.
“What’s on your mind?” I asked as I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her back against my chest.
“Did you hear Nat call us ‘parents?’ ”
My body stiffened, and I knew she felt it. She spun around in my arms to face me. “Isn’t that terrifying?”
I hesitated for a second, but then I nodded. I was honestly scared shitless by the thought. For some reason taking care of a child sounds a hell of a lot harder when you call it “parenting.”
“Are you sure
this is what you want?” she asked as she studied my eyes.
“That little girl needs you, Tay. And I can see that you’re smitten by her after only a few hours.”
She nodded. “You’re right. I love her already.”
I kissed her forehead twice. I didn’t have the right words to say right now. “Why don’t you get some rest. I’m going to meet up with my boss at the club before I go home, but I’d like you and Demi to come over for lunch tomorrow.”
She looked unsure as she kissed my cheek and told me goodnight. I didn’t know what to say to take that look out of her eyes. I had to show her.
I went to the club and talked to Vince about changing my schedule. He was understanding and agreed to let me come in after Taylor was off work and to take every other Saturday night off, so I could spend them with the girls. My girls.
I smiled the entire time I walked through Bed Bath & Beyond. I had a long night ahead of me, but I knew it would be worth it tomorrow.
***
I’d just atepped out of the shower when the doorbell rang. I slipped a shirt over my head as I went to the door.
“Sam!” Demi squealed.
“Hello, little lady,” I said as I messed up her blonde curls with my hand. She ran past me, eager to explore.
“Demi, don’t break anything,” Taylor called after her.
I cocked a brow as I looked at her.
“We had a couple of accidents this morning,” she sighed. “Starting with a bottle of wine and ending with the lamp Macie bought me for my birthday.”
“Shit,” I said with a snicker. “We’d better go find her.”
“Wowwww,” Demi said from upstairs.
Taylor looked at me questioningly. When I only shrugged, she hurried up the stairs.
The first door she opened was the spare room. Aside from the double bed and small dresser, there wasn’t much to see. The second door was the bathroom. The curtain hiding the combined shower and tub was covered in clouds and rainbows. There was a fluffy pink rug in the middle of the floor and a matching hand towel hanging by the sink. Taylor eyed me suspiciously as she pulled the door closed and moved to the next.
Want Me (Protector Series Book 3) Page 11