‘You’re a good mother,’ he said.
‘I’m trying to be.’
‘You’re succeeding. Those kids are terrific.’
She smiled. ‘Thanks. I told you they’d be okay after they got to know you.’
‘Yes, you did.’
‘School’s making a big difference to them. They love it.’
‘They’re very bright. Sarah loves wordplay, doesn’t she?’
‘Yes, she always has. Some words made her laugh like crazy when she was tiny.’ She firmed her mouth. ‘But she didn’t have much of a chance to … never mind. Would you like coffee?’
‘No thanks. I think I’ll sit out on the verandah for a bit.’
‘All right.’
She made no move to join him, instead heading for the doorway to the bedrooms.
‘Will you come out too?’ he asked.
She paused, half turned towards him. ‘Maybe, in a bit.’
‘Okay.’ He pushed the screen door open to the backyard. Cool evening air washed over him. This would be much easier than he expected, this sharing a house with Antonia and the twins. Almost like being part of a family. A proper functioning family where love was the driving force, rather than a reluctant sense of obligation.
But he mustn’t get used to it because this family wasn’t his, they were Simon’s and Antonia wasn’t in the market for any sort of expanded family unit, she’d made that very clear. He’d have to make do with that. It didn’t mean the occasional kiss was out of line, if she was willing.
***
Antonia closed the bathroom door and sank onto the edge of the bath. Flynn’s kiss teased and tormented her. She’d wanted him to, but now he’d done it she wasn’t sure what happened next. He’d left her in control of any follow up, confident she would give him the okay in the near future. She couldn’t possibly summon the courage to suggest it. A kiss was one thing, but he could get entirely the wrong idea and assume she was willing to go further. To go to bed with him.
A shiver of apprehension made her gasp. The thought of fingers on her skin made her shudder. She couldn’t.
She sprang to her feet and splashed cold water on her face.
If she sat on the verandah with him in the balmy evening air, would he expect the follow up? She couldn’t hide away from him in her bedroom. It was way too early to go to bed and she usually sat outside after the twins were asleep, enjoying the few moments of peace and the quiet of the beautiful natural bushland over the back fence.
She stared at herself in the bathroom mirror, breathing slowly and deeply, willing her mind to calm, the tense muscles to relax. This fear was something she had to conquer or that monster would succeed in ruining her life.
She picked up her toothbrush and added toothpaste. The mindless routine soothed her as she scrubbed. Then she brushed her hair. By the time she’d finished, she was ready to face Flynn again.
He looked up as she joined him, his face shadowy in the dim light coming through the kitchen window. Insects banged incessantly against the glass but she’d placed the old cane outdoor chairs farther along, away from the light-seeking hordes.
‘Lovely night,’ he said.
‘Yes. I often sit out here in the evening. I love the sounds of the bush at night.’
‘Thank you for dinner.’
‘You’re welcome.’
‘I’m sorry I’m no use as an assistant in the kitchen.’
‘That’s okay.’
‘When I’m better I’ll cook for you.’
‘You don’t need to do that, you’ve done enough for me already.’
‘I’d like to,’ he said. ‘I’m good with a barbecue.’
She smiled. ‘So is Dad.’
His voice coming at her through the half-light changed subtly. ‘I never asked … never had the chance … but did everything go okay in Sydney?”
‘Sydney? Oh! Yes, it did. Funny, I’d almost forgotten we’d been there. It seems ages ago.’
‘It was only last Sunday. Will you need to go again?’
‘Not for a while. Maybe at the end of the year or the beginning of next.’
Flynn fell silent. Was he about to ask the direct question? She couldn’t blame him for being curious. Should she tell him? Was her secret safe with him? It wasn’t a very good secret, considering how many people knew about the case and how many would have read about it at the time. Was she being unnecessarily close-lipped?
‘I went to Sydney to speak to a lawyer,’ she said.
‘You don’t have to tell me.’
‘I know, but I think you’ll find out anyway sooner or later; everyone will. As long as you won’t spread it around … if I tell you.’
His hand closed over hers and squeezed gently. ‘Of course not. Was it to do with a divorce? The man who abused you?’
‘Not a divorce. I’m not married. I was giving evidence to the prosecuting lawyer who is preparing a case against a man who …’ She stopped, breathing hard, the words jammed in her throat. Flynn stayed quiet. She swallowed and began again. ‘When I was seventeen I discovered I was pregnant. I told Simon and I told my best friend Bryony. Simon’s parents were super religious and they would have … I don’t know what … Dad was pretty strict with me back then and I was too scared to tell him. We three figured we could deal with it ourselves and no one would ever know. I was going to have an abortion after school and stay overnight at Bryony’s. I went by myself but when I got there I had second thoughts. It was such a big thing to do and I was scared. There were people outside the clinic doing a prayer vigil and a man and a woman spoke to me. They were nice and they asked me to come home with them and think about it.’
She sucked in a deep breath. Flynn’s hand was still warm on hers, comforting and strong.
‘I thought they lived close by, but they drove for over an hour south out of Sydney, to a house in the bush. At first he was nice to me but when I said I wanted to go home he … wouldn’t let me. He locked me in along with Hannah, the other woman. He made her go with him to Sydney and locked her two daughters in the house so she’d do what he wanted while she was out.’
‘My God,’ hissed Flynn. ‘Did anyone look for you? How long were you there?’
‘Five years. I was listed as missing, of course, but the police thought I was a runaway and my friends never told anyone … they didn’t know.’ She cleared her throat and continued. ‘The twins were born there. Hannah is a midwife and she saved my life.’
‘And he was violent?’
She nodded.
‘The man’s an unspeakable bloody monster. He’s locked up, I hope?’
‘Yes, they had enough evidence to hold him in custody until the trial. Flynn, I don’t want to keep thinking about that part of my life. I came here to start fresh and so the twins could meet their real father and learn that men aren’t all like that man.’
Flynn exhaled long and deep beside her. ‘So Simon didn’t know any of it until you arrived that day.’
‘No. He thought I was dead. Most people did, except my dad. He never gave up.’ She pulled her fingers gently from his and wiped her hand quickly across her eyes, blotting the tears that threatened to spill. ‘I told Simon what happened, of course. He promised not to tell anyone and he hasn’t.’ She licked her lips. ‘We made up the bit about Dad and Mum taking me away to have the babies and not telling Simon.’
‘My God, it must have been an incredible shock when you appeared. He’s been very supportive, hasn’t he?’ he said slowly. ‘No wonder you were scared when you turned up here and no wonder those two beautiful little kids were petrified of me. I’m so sorry, Antonia.’
‘It’s not your fault, Flynn. You’ve been very kind.’
‘But I didn’t … I …’
‘It’s okay,’ she said. ‘I don’t want sympathy or special anything. I just want to live my life and raise my children the best way I can.’
‘I understand.’ He paused then added, ‘And you want to do that alone.’
&nbs
p; ‘I think I have to.’ She rose and stood in front of him. ‘I’m sorry. At the moment I can’t …’
‘It’s okay. I understand, really I do. I just wish I was the man who could make it right for you.’
She leaned forward quickly and brushed her lips over his. ‘So do I,’ she whispered, before she straightened.
After she’d gone inside, Flynn sat a while longer, digesting the hideous information she’d imparted. How did she survive that experience and emerge the stronger for it? She was an amazing person and he was honoured to know she’d trusted him with such a deeply personal revelation. Honoured and humbled.
He understood, now, Simon’s protectiveness of her and the children and why he exhibited such strong emotions towards her. He must feel unbelievably guilty for letting her go to that abortion clinic alone. Guilt similar to his own.
Flynn hauled himself to his feet and hobbled inside. Antonia appeared from the living room.
‘Do you need help going to bed?’
‘Only taking this boot off. I can’t reach it or do it one-handed.’
‘Okay. Let me know when you’re ready.’
‘Thanks. And thanks for telling me … what you did.’
She ducked her head. ‘Like I said, it’ll be in the news soon enough.’
***
Antonia answered her phone the next morning. Saturday meant everyone was at home. Flynn, sitting on the back verandah watching the twins playing with a ball, heard it ring inside. He’d have to buy a new phone but it was strangely relaxing not having to answer it or talk to people.
Antonia appeared, phone in hand.
‘It’s Sean Baldessin,’ she said.
Flynn raised his eyebrows. How did he know where he was? The answer came immediately. Margie, of course. She’d have filled him in on all the details.
‘How are you? I’ve only just heard the news or I would have rung earlier.’
Flynn gave him a brief summary, emphasising that he’d be back in business very soon.
‘That’s good to hear. Listen, I wanted to touch base with you about the development proposal. We’ve had a rethink, and after discussions with the National Parks people we’ve come to an agreement about that block I bought recently. There’ll be a visitors’ centre run by the government on land leased from us and we’ll build a small lodge and bistro style restaurant for hikers and campers. Low-cost shared and dormitory-style accommodation and a camping ground. All environmentally friendly, of course. No one should object to that.’
‘No, that sounds very reasonable.’ Flynn hid his disappointment. Any development was good but a smallish low-key place wouldn’t bring much in the way of employment and money for the area.
‘It should take the heat off you. That protest can’t have been pleasant.’
‘It wasn’t, but the main troublemakers weren’t locals.’
‘I see. Now, there is one other matter I wanted to run by you. I’m still very interested in opening a boutique-style resort. Not on a massive scale and not on the same block, but in the Flynn’s Crossing area with reasonably close access to the new visitors’ facility. When I was in town I had a look around, as you know, and I was very taken with an area of bushland on the eastern side of the town. It runs along the back of Randall’s Road. Is that town land?’
‘No, it’s not.’ Flynn stood up carefully and leaned on the verandah railing, excitement beginning to swamp the disappointment. Privately owned but a perfect site for a secluded bush retreat-style resort. Close enough to the National Park for it to be a drawcard. Even closer to the town centre than the other site.
‘Who owns it, do you know?’
‘It’s a part of a large block owned by a local family who have been here for generations. They run a mix of cattle and crops but that section bordering the town has never been farmed. It’s rocky and steep in places with a ridgeline right at the back of their property. Their entrance is on the highway, about twenty kilometres out of Walen.’
As he spoke, he envisaged the view from that ridge. Spectacular in all directions but particularly towards the mountains.
‘So it’s not part of Flynn’s Crossing?’
‘No, Walen is east of here. The town border is a fence line about five metres in and parallel to Randall’s Road.’ As he spoke, he looked across the yard at the land in question. Unused, not protected by any government legislation. Open for development.
‘So who would I speak to about acquiring some of it?’
‘Bruce Curtin is the owner but I can certainly approach him for you.’
‘Do you think he’d be amenable?’
‘Possibly. But what about access? It’s an awkward area to get to, quite a distance from the highway. You’d have to build a road in for at least ten or fifteen kilometres.’
‘Not if I could gain access from Randall’s Road. It’s a dead end, a cul-de-sac, isn’t it? What if I could get hold of one of the properties, both would be better because of the narrow frontage, at the end of the street? Do you know who owns them?’
‘Yes. I do.’
Baldessin laughed. ‘Yes you know or yes you own them.’
‘I own one of them.’ He glanced towards the kitchen door hoping Antonia wasn’t within earshot.
‘Is the other owner-occupied?’
‘Yes.’
‘How do you feel about selling? You can name your price. Within reason.’ The laughter had left his voice, this was business. ‘How would the other owner feel, do you think?’
‘You’d demolish them?’ His breathing almost stalled as the realisation of what Baldessin had in mind sank in.
‘Have to.’
‘I have a tenant.’ How much was he willing to pay? He squashed the thought immediately. He couldn’t sell, wouldn’t, no matter how much he might need the money.
‘Move them.’
As simple as that. Was this how he himself came across to the townspeople in regard to the resort plans? To the co-op? Ruthless and calculating, profit at any cost?
He looked at the twins running and laughing on the grass as they tried to kick the ball. Antonia loved this house, they all loved their new home and it meant far more to them than a rented house usually did. For Antonia it was a symbol of her freedom and independence, the start of a new life. And over the fence were Kev and Bron, who’d told him they felt secure here as they worked to get back on a safer financial footing. He’d sold their house to them for less than what he paid for the place so they could own their first house. Not that anyone knew that detail.
‘It’s not so easy, Sean.’
‘It can be. Money works wonders, Flynn, when administered in the right amounts. Think about it. Give me a call when you’ve decided.’
Antonia reappeared with a tea tray loaded with cold drinks and biscuits and set it down on the table.
‘Bad news?’
He handed her the phone and manoeuvred himself onto a chair while he regrouped. ‘No, not really. Baldessin is going to build a visitors’ centre and a lodge on that block next to the co-op. Smaller than he originally planned so it won’t generate as much employment as we’d hoped.’
‘But it’s a good result in the end, isn’t it? He might have pulled out all together and no one would get anything.’
‘That’s true. And Simon and Aidan and co should be happy. It won’t interfere with them at all. The road will be fixed up too, I imagine.’
‘That would be good. It’s an awful road, especially when it rains. Some of those potholes turn into lakes.’ She sat down, smiling. He returned the smile, wishing the moment would last, that he could sit here in the shade with the woman he loved, her children happy and playing in the garden, basking in her care and attention. That he could ensure her happiness would last... But he couldn’t.
How would she feel if she knew the offer Baldessin had made? He couldn’t tell her, not yet. He was duty-bound to pass on the information to the council and the news was sure to leak out. He sighed and drank some of the fresh mango
and orange juice she’d given him.
The twins ran across, red-faced and panting. ‘Did you see us, Flynn?’ They flopped down on the steps to slurp their drinks.
‘I sure did. You were doing really well. When my ankle is better I’ll play with you.’
‘Why don’t you have your sling on today?’ asked Jacob.
‘I didn’t like wearing it. It’s a nuisance,’ he said.
‘Aren’t you supposed to?’ asked Antonia.
‘Probably.’
Sarah frowned. ‘That’s naughty. You should do what you’re told.’
‘The doctor said I didn’t have to wear it for very long and my shoulder feels okay without it.’
She seemed happy with that explanation and he caught Antonia’s eye and grimaced. She hid a laugh but her eyes sparkled. Flynn relaxed back in the chair. He could get very used to this, being part of a family, but he mustn’t, he must remember that.
‘Will you tell the co-op people about the revised plans?’ Her voice broke into his reverie. ‘Simon will be pleased.’
‘Yes, of course. I’ll have to tell the council first, so Aidan will know. In fact, can I use your phone, please? I need to make some calls. I’ll make them short.’
‘That’s fine.’
Antonia stayed outside with the twins while Flynn hobbled inside to make his phone calls. Thank goodness all that nastiness about the resort had been resolved. It was a good solution; the best compromise because it meant no one lost out. Now life would settle down into the peaceful routine she’d so enjoyed. Simon would calm down and forget the harsh exchange of words with Flynn and they’d resume their friendship.
She had no regrets about telling Flynn about her past. It was time he knew. And the knowledge would make him all the more wary of trying to break down her resistance to starting a relationship, with all the tension that would produce. Now he might back right off.
She ran her tongue over her lower lip. Was that a good thing?
The more she saw of him the more attracted she was, despite all her reservations and intentions. Helping him meant touching him and touching him meant rapid changes in pulse and heart rate, not to mention body temperature. All uncomfortable and uncontrollable reactions and all, she was positive, clearly evident to such an experienced man as Flynn. The trouble was she had no experience with normal adult feelings of love and attraction. How could she tell which was which? As a teenager she’d had crushes on various people and had been wildly attracted to Simon, but was it love? Not the enduring kind, that was for sure, because now that compulsive, red-hot desire to be with him had faded to grey.
The House At Flynn's Crossing Page 22