“No, he told me – wait, what?” She stared at me.
“That apparently is not one of the things he told you.”
She shook her head, speechless.
“Well, then…forget that I had said that.”
Her mouth gaped open. “I’m not sure I can.”
"Well, try. Because Ajax is not going to be too pleased that I told you. Just act casually when you see him at school."
Her surprised look melted away to anger again. “I won’t have to worry about that. He is not coming back to school.”
“He’s dropping out?”
Meredith bit her lip. “Yes and no. It’s complicated, and not my story to tell.”
“Well, we’ll see him at band practice.”
She shook her head. “He’s quitting the band for now.”
“So, no more Greasy Monkeys?”
She shrugged. “I don’t really know. We’ll see the next time we practice. I don’t want to dwell on Ajax right now. Tell me what classes you are in.” She tore open the envelope that she brought outside and took out her school schedule.
Sitting forward, I pulled mine from the back pocket of my shorts. “So what do you have first period? Please tell me English with Mr. Myles to help me get through the period.”
She frowned. “I don’t. Oh, that sucks, Caden. I’ll walk with you every morning though. Maybe I can find some meditation techniques to help you get through that class.”
I took a deep breath. “It will be fine. I will find a way to get through that class. Perhaps he’ll leave me alone.”
She nodded her head. “That would be the best thing for both of you.”
"It really would," I agreed solemnly. I grabbed Meredith's schedule from her hands and compared it with mine before she could speak. She glowered at me but huddled closer to examine our schedules with me.
“You do realize that it’s your Pre-Calc and Spanish IV class that messes up the possibility that we will ever have an identical schedule.”
"No, it's the fact that you just have to take Band that screws it up," I teased. "Oh, look, at least we have third-period Biology and lunch together."
“Oh, yay. And Jesse will be in Biology with us.”
I looked at her in confusion. "But he's a junior. Shouldn't he be in chemistry?"
“He didn’t take a science his freshmen year.”
“How did he get away with that?” I asked astonished.
She shrugged. "I don't know, but somehow Jesse did." She looked back at the schedules. "You actually have a study hall this year?"
“Yeah, why not?”
“Last year, your schedule was booked solid, and in some cases, you were taking advanced classes. You even admitted to me that you had never had a study hall. I expected you to have another jam-packed schedule.”
"Well," I started defensively, "I heard that sophomore year would be our most challenging, and I wanted to make sure that I would have the time in my schedule to study or catch up on work since I actually have a social life outside of school now."
“We both know that you’re not going to need that study hall.”
I shrugged.
She took a second quick look at the schedules again. “How on earth did you manage to get your study hall tenth period?”
"One of the benefits of hanging out at the school for the past month and getting to know the teachers," I smirked.
“You are too crafty for your own good.”
I laughed.
Our conversation started to veer toward where we might meet up, and things we were looking forward to our sophomore year. My sixteenth birthday was one of those, and it happened to be around Homecoming weekend. Meredith and I weren't too sure if we were even going to the Homecoming dance. It was fun to get dressed up, but we would both lack dates. She could ask Ajax, but she wouldn't because she was still upset with him. We put the dance on our "maybe" list, but more than likely, it would be replaced with the Halloween dance.
Before we knew it, Ms. Weber poked her head out the door to tell us dinner was ready. We walked into the kitchen to help with the plates to discover that she had made it easy. She had picked up enough Pad Thai, steamed dumplings, and spring rolls to feed an army on her way home from her shift.
“It’s just us tonight, mom,” Meredith pouted, grabbing a plate.
"What about the guys?" Ms. Weber asked, taking a pitcher of sweet tea out of the refrigerator. She had already known Sera was out on a date since Sera had called her yesterday to ask if Ms. Weber would watch me for the evening. It was a little insulting that I would need parental supervision, but Sera was worried about me.
My nightmares that had disappeared when we moved to Erie were back and more frequent and intense than I remembered. I was jumpy at night, and Sera had been finding me hyperventilating, panicked, and sweaty. Sera was so worried that she had stopped seeing Mr. Myles for a small period of time, which gave him more reason to be resentful towards me. She started to become a helicopter parent, so I tried to convince her I was fine and that she needed a social life because she was driving me crazy. We found a way to compromise; I would be around others until she got home, so she wouldn't worry. I thought it was an overreaction, but Ms. Weber didn't mind too much since I was around all the time anyway.
So were the guys, which made this evening unusual in Ms. Weber’s mind.
“Nate’s with Korina tonight,” Meredith mentioned. Ms. Weber still looked curiously at her.
“And Meredith is not talking to Ajax right now,” I added to which I received a glare from Meredith.
“Did you two get in a fight?”
Meredith shrugged and refused to look at her mom, while she started to plate her food. “Something like that.”
“What about Jesse?” Ms. Weber questioned, waiting for Meredith to finish getting food.
"He's probably around Ajax, and I don't want to make him choose." Meredith moved aside with her plate, grabbing some silverware and a glass of pre-poured sweet tea before she walked into the dining room.
Ms. Weber and I followed Meredith after getting our own food.
“Do I want to know?” Ms. Weber whispered to me as we were heading into the dining room.
“To be completely honest with you, I don’t exactly know.”
We took our seats around the dining room to eat our dinner. Ms. Weber dropped the conversation about the Ajax, and chose a less dramatic topic, like going back to school. We told her our schedules and classes and spent the evening discussing what we were looking forward to from the new school year.
At the end of dinner, we helped Ms. Weber clean up and do the dishes, which was rather minimal this time without the guys and Sera. And then Meredith and I hung out in her room until Sera came by to pick me up later that evening.
Chapter Thirteen
A month and a half later.
The nightmares started when Flora and Martin died when I was twelve. At the time, I read up on symptoms of trauma and believed I was having them because my parents had died. Sera never confirmed nor did she deny my belief, but she always seemed ridiculously worried whenever I would have them.
They would always start out the same, and depending on the intensity would determine how far I would get into them, but the scenes were always the same, and they always felt real. In the beginning, there was just darkness, and it would cloak my body like a heavy quilt, stifling my breath. My heart would quicken, and in the stillness of the dark, it would beat like a drum, echoing in my ears. I would struggle for air, sweat would bead upon my skin, and I was as petrified as stone. I could feel the darkness ooze into my body, my soul like oil, and I would want to scream, but my voice would be suppressed, frozen. Everything was frozen; even my body. My fear would intensify; my heart would pound faster and faster; louder and louder. And then I would wake up in my own sweat, eyes alert, and my heart beating out of my chest. I would have the dire need to shout, but my voice would still be stifled.
That was the beginning. Just the st
illness of the dark as it suffocated me. But then as more nights passed, I would see images of strangers and creatures while I was paralyzed in fear. And the creatures were hideous. Some had fangs and would snarl at me; others would howl. And I still couldn't move, and I would feel like I was suffocating again as they closed in on me. I wouldn't be able to breathe, and I felt like I was dying. Again, I would wake up sweaty and terrified. I would run to Sera to protect me from them.
Then we would move, and they would disappear for a period of time. My theory was that the new surroundings would stimulate my mind and keep the trauma away. But when I had adjusted to my surroundings, the nightmares would come again. Usually, I had a year or two before they would return. When we moved to Erie, they had disappeared until that summer. That was the fastest they had ever come back.
They came to a head a month into school of that sophomore year. When I fell asleep, in my dream, I was standing in a field. It must have been fall. The grass, as tall as my waist, was browning and yellowing from the season. The color of the sky was a yellow haze; the light was so low that I couldn’t tell if it was dawn or dusk.
There was a warm breeze that tangled through my long, dark hair and ruffled my light pink, button-up, silk shirt, and light pastel floral skirt. It had to be a dream because I would never wear a skirt, much less anything pastel or pink. But I stood there waiting, as if I was waiting for someone or something; content, but still in anticipation. It was then the darkness found me. It crept into the field like a fog. It started to surround my body and teased its way inside, waiting, sensing, expecting and testing. After feeling it envelop my body, I realized that I had been waiting for this moment. I was ready to tell it that I was no longer afraid. I was going to be the one to test and fight it, I said to the darkness.
It laughed menacingly. It was not the response I expected, and I was taken off guard. My weakness was my uncertainty, and the darkness discovered this as well, and it pushed through my body, trying to conquer me.
My heart quickened and beat loudly in my ears. Like every other time, it stifled my breath. I struggled for air and felt the sweat bead upon my skin.
“You are almost ready for me,” its’ harsh voice whispered.
Petrified, I couldn’t stop it from swallowing me whole. How could I have been so foolish, I thought to myself.
The fear intensified . . . The thumping of my heart pounded faster . . . faster . . . louder . . . louder. I didn’t want to die. But I couldn’t breathe! I was dying! This was the point that I should be waking up. But I wasn't and my chest burned with the desire to breathe, but I couldn't. I couldn't suck in, and there was no more breath to blow out. I feared that this time I would truly die.
Suddenly, a light pierced through the darkness from above. Like a spotlight. And I heard a whisper.
“My little warrior, come to me.” I heard Flora soothe. I followed the sound of the voice, allowing my soul to drift that way. The light became blinding.
“You are safe, my little warrior,” she cooed.
I saw her hand outstretched to me, but not her. There was too much light.
I grabbed her hand, and she pulled me onto the edge of a river bank, where I could breathe now that I was no longer being smothered by the darkness.
“Where are we, Flora?” I glanced around nervously, anticipating the darkness to have followed me.
Flora had a gentle smile on her face in a way only a mother could, shining more brilliantly from the now spring sun as it warmed my skin and the area around us. The breeze was back, playing with Flora’s black gypsy hair and mine, swooping around our clothing once again.
"We are in Summerland. A plane of existence where the darkness cannot reach you, and I can cross over to communicate with you."
I beheld my surroundings. It was a land of eternal beauty; lush green grass; radiant, grandiose, fragrant flowers, and a strong babbling river catching on stones as it trickled down.
"Sit, my darling," she gestured to the small outlet of the bank. Following her instructions, I sat on the healthy grass, dangling my feet into the river. The coolness of the river ran over my toes and my ankles. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched her sit as well, tucking her skirt beneath her.
“How am I here?”
“I have taken you away from Obscurus. When I was alive, I was able to keep him away using what gypsy magic I had. But when I died, so did the magic. And he found you.”
“Who is Obscurus? And you’re a witch?”
She chuckled. “Not a witch. Our ancestors come from a long line of earth magic users.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You will one day,” she said before pausing for a moment. “Unfortunately, much of the magic that belonged to our ancestors was lost when our tribe was nearly massacred. What I knew, kept Obscurus away while I was alive. He is the darkness. He has been waiting for you. Wanting to devour you and use you as a tool for his own doing.”
I felt bile rise within my stomach, realizing how close he had come within those three years. He had almost had me. I wanted to snap, "what took you so long," but I appreciated Flora reaching me when she did. Still, my emotions most have been playing on my face because she smiled wider and gently touched my hair, stroking my head like she did when I was a child, calming me.
“I have been trying to contact you, little warrior, since we passed on. It has only been now that I have managed to reach you.”
“Why did it take until now to reach me?” I finally asked.
She sighed before answering. “It is complicated. But again, one day you will understand.”
I frowned, starting to feel frustrated. “Everyone keeps telling me ‘it's complicated.' What makes it so complicated?! I feel like you are treating me like a child.”
She barked sudden quiet laughter, and paused on stroking my hair. “All we have wanted was for you to have a normal childhood. A normal life. And no, not everything has worked the way we had wanted, but up until our deaths, and the fact that we were always moving, you have gotten that. You have grown up in the ways your mother wanted to the best of our ability. So for you to say that you feel you are being treated like a child…I am glad that you know what it feels like because it will not always be that way.”
Her face that was lit up with joy suddenly turned to sadness. Deep lines etched her cheeks, and her eyes looked watery.
“Unfortunately, that time is going to come sooner than what any of us had hoped. I have done a disservice to you, little one.”
She embraced me, drawing my back into her chest. “We knew what your mother was. I have always known. And because of your rare birth, we knew what you could become or the danger you might be in. You are a very special girl. Your mother and father knew you would be, and they wanted to keep you protected from those who might harm you. We all tried to change your fate. It was your mother’s dying wish.”
She sighed, breathing into my hair. “I don’t know how long your mother expected to keep you a secret, but secrets aren’t meant for forever. And as it would seem, fate has caught up with you. Fate will always catch up.”
“So then, are you here to protect me?”
She paused a moment, both in breath and stroking my hair, contemplating her answer. “I have done what I could against Obscurus. He is banished from your mind. He won’t be able to find you anymore here; unless you look for him or allow him in. But I am afraid that the only way I can reach you is through your sleep as well. My time on earth has been up, and I cannot become corporeal, but I have sent someone to further guide you along your course. Your path is laid out before you. The outcome will be your own doing.”
“What are you talking about?”
“There is so much to explain and so little time. I will come to you when I can, little one.”
“Please don’t leave me.”
She looked down at me with the gentlest expression. “Eventually you will have to let me go, little warrior. For now, it is time to wake up.” She kissed my forehead and
. . . I woke up.
Indeed it was time to wake up.
Chapter Fourteen
“So, there was a breakthrough with my nightmares this morning,” I said to Sera as we were packing our lunches and getting our breakfast together in the kitchen. I was shoving my peanut butter and jelly sandwich into a sandwich bag on the counter of the breakfast bar.
“Yeah?” She questioned with her back toward me, opening the refrigerator door, looking for her coffee creamer as her coffee was percolating in a Keurig on the counter next to it. She had stuck with her normal earth tone attire; a long-sleeved moss green shirt and tan khakis. She never veered from that style. She said it complimented her skin tone, and it did, but it made her look mom-like. I think that was sort of the point.
Some people had questioned her legal guardianship over me last year since she looked so young. And dressing up in flowy skirts and clothing that accentuated her gypsy heritage hadn’t helped. I think really people felt threatened by her intelligence and beauty that they tried to bring her trouble. So, she had decided to adopt my art of blending in. It worked, but I didn't understand why she had changed for other people. That's not who she was.
“Yeah,” I replied, coming back to the situation at hand. “Flora rescued me.” I explained my dream to her, watching her.
I wasn't sure what type of response I was expecting from Sera. Part of me this morning truly believed that it was all a dream. But the other part of me felt that it was real. Flora had really crossed over from death to visit me. It wasn't until I saw Sera pale and the steely look in her eyes as she glared at me that I knew it was real.
“It wasn’t just a dream,” I whispered, partly to myself, and partly to Sera so that she would know that I knew something was going on.
“Of course it was just a dream,” she actually chortled and shook her head, closing the door of the refrigerator, completely forgetting her creamer. She stood there frozen for a second, in thought.
"It was something more. You know this," I narrowed my eyes at my sister. Her hands had the slightest tremor, and her left eye twitched.
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