by Ana Huang
“Right on the first try. Mission: get close to the target.” Blake stopped and faced Farrah, closing the gap between them until their mouths were inches apart. “How am I doing?”
“You’re doing a bang-up job, Agent Ryan.” Farrah’s breath whispered across his lips. “Keep this up and you might get a promotion.”
“Might? Guess I have to work harder.” Blake traced her lips with his tongue, teasing her until she caught his head in her hands and brought their mouths together in a searing kiss. She tasted like sunshine and honey and warmth, and he wanted to drown in her. To get so swept up in her depths, no one could find him. It’d be just the two of them, lost in infinity.
“Mom, look!” The high-pitched voice sliced through his bliss.
Blake cracked one eye open to see a little boy staring at them with curiosity and disgust.
“What are they doing?”
The boy’s mother frowned. “Nothing. They’re…doing adult things. You’re too young to know.”
“But—”
“Let’s go.” She grabbed her son’s hand and hurried him along, but not before glaring at Blake. If looks could kill, his corpse would be eating dirt.
“Oops.” Farrah giggled against his mouth. “I think we offended her sensibilities.”
“Did you see the way she looked at me? You’d think I was having an orgy on the riverfront instead of kissing my girlfriend.”
The word slipped out without thinking.
Farrah’s eyebrows rose. “Girlfriend?”
Fuck.
It had been two weeks since their first kiss, and they’d yet to discuss their relationship status. Exclusivity wasn’t official but implied.
Blake licked his lips. “Sorry, I didn’t mean girlfriend. I meant girl. Friend.”
“I see.”
“No pressure.”
“Ok.”
He had a horrible feeling he was digging himself into a deeper hole with each word coming out of his mouth.
“So, how about that kiss?” Blake flashed his dimples in an attempt to warm Farrah’s expression. It didn’t work. “Pretty great, huh?”
“Mmmhmm.”
Ah, dammit. It was time to stop beating around the bush. “Look. It’s not that I don’t want you to be my girlfriend. It’s just—” He searched for the right words to say. “We haven’t talked about it, and I don’t want to assume. We’re here for a year. We don’t know what’ll happen once we leave. I don’t want to put too much pressure on us and the time we have together.”
“So you want us to be friends with benefits like you and Mina?”
“Fuck no!” Friends with benefits were, by definition, not exclusive. The thought of Farrah touching another guy—or another guy touching Farrah—caused Blake to see red. Then he saw the hurt expression on her face and realized how his interjection must’ve come across. “Don’t get me wrong. I’d love to have sex with you. But it’s not—I mean, we don’t have to have sex. No pressure on that either. Or with the relationship. Not that we have a relationship.”
He didn’t make sense, even to himself.
Blake finally understood how guys with no game must feel. He wanted to sink into the floor.
Farrah’s frown deepened.
He considered throwing himself over the railing into the Huangpu when the frown disappeared, replaced by a wide grin.
“You’re adorable when you’re flustered.”
“I am not flustered.” Blake narrowed his eyes. “Wait. Were you putting me on this entire time?”
Farrah giggled. “You should see your face. You’re so red.”
She squealed in surprise when he picked her up and spun her around. “I can’t believe you did that to me. I have half a mind to throw you into the river,” he threatened.
“You would never!” She wrapped her arms and legs around him and held on tight. “Besides, can you blame me? The chance to see Blake Ryan tripping over himself was too good to resist.”
“It’s inhumane.”
“Oh, come on.” Farrah rested her forehead on his. “I think it’s cute.”
Blake was horrified. “Teddy bears are cute. Puppies are cute. Guys don’t want to be cute. It’s the sexual equivalent of Siberia.”
“Cute is sexy.” Farrah lowered herself to the ground, sliding her body against his as she did so. Need sliced through him, deep and heady.
“Don’t think that’ll get you off the hook.”
“What?” She blinked, innocent as a doe.
“This thing you’re doing.” Blake groaned when she hooked her fingers through his belt loops and pulled him close. Her soft curves melted into the hard lines of his body, and the need ratcheted up five levels.
“I’m not the one on the hook. You’re the one who said I’m not your girlfriend.”
“Do you want to be?”
Her smile faded at his serious tone. “Are you serious?”
Blake’s heart slammed against his ribcage. He nodded.
Farrah’s eyes grew round. Was that a good thing? He couldn’t tell.
One beat, one eternity. Two beats, two eternities.
The longer Blake waited for an answer, the more he wanted to die. He wasn’t used to feeling this way—out-of-control, helpless, and ready to tumble off the precipice at another’s command.
He was so caught up waiting for a verbal answer, it took him a second to register the warmth of Farrah’s lips on his. Her tongue dueled with his; his hands tangled in her hair. Every inch of him ached for her—body, heart, and soul.
Blake was lost, and he never wanted to be found.
“So.” His breath came hard and heavy when they broke for air. “Is that a yes?”
Farrah’s eyes twinkled. “That’s a yes.”
Blake grinned so wide his face might split in two. “You don’t know what you got yourself into.”
“Trying to make me regret my decision already?”
“Never.” He brushed a stray strand of hair from her eyes. “It’s you and me, babe. There’s no backing out now.”
“I suppose there are worse things in life.” Farrah snuggled closer to him. “Was that the secret you wanted to tell me?”
Right. The secret.
“No.” Blake hesitated, debating whether to say it out loud.
What the hell. He’d taken one plunge today. Might as well knock them all out.
“I’ve been working on a project. For after graduation.” Here goes nothing. “I want to open a sports bar. I’ve been working on a business plan, and it’s only a rough outline at this point, but I’m hoping to have something ready by Christmas.”
Blake tried to gauge Farrah’s reaction. Nerves churned his stomach into knots. Saying it out loud made his plan real. It was crazy and far-fetched, but it was real, and though the thought of starting his own business made him nauseous, he also felt…excited?
Yep, that was definitely a glimmer of excitement beneath the nerves.
“Blake.”
He held his breath.
“That’s amazing!” Farrah threw her arms around his neck. “Can I see your business plan? What are you going to call the bar? You should have a signature drink!”
“Whoa, slow down.” Blake laughed. Relief bubbled inside him. She didn’t think his idea was stupid. “Yes, you can see it after I’m done, I haven’t decided on a name yet, and let’s cross the signature drink bridge when we get there.”
“It’ll all work out. I am so excited for you.” Farrah’s eyes shone bright in the moonlight.
“You don’t think it’s a dumb idea?”
“Of course not! Why would I think it’s a dumb idea?”
“I have no experience running a business, and there are a million sports bars out there.” Blake frowned. “What if it’s a failure?”
“No one has experience running a business until they run a business, and there may be a million sports bars out there, but they’re not your sports bar.” Farrah cupped his face in her hands. “You are one of the smartest
, hardest-working people I know. If this is what you want to do and you give it your all, you’ll succeed. I have faith in you.”
Rich warmth suffused him, washing away the doubt and uncertainty. Blake couldn’t remember the last time someone had such unconditional faith in him.
“I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but it must’ve been a helluva thing.” He tried not to let too much emotion show in his voice.
“You can repay me with unlimited drinks at your bar.” She gave him a soft kiss. “And unlimited kisses.”
“Yes, ma’am. Your wish is my command.”
Blake intertwined her fingers with his as they resumed their walk along the Bund. It was late, and they had class tomorrow, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave. The electricity of Shanghai’s skyline beckoned, drawing him in like a magnet for lost souls.
“I can’t get over this view.” Farrah sounded nostalgic, as if she were speaking of a place lost in the sands of time.
Blake gazed across the river at the city’s iconic skyline. The jungle of high-rises pulsed with energy, lighting up the night with a rainbow of electric blues, neon purples, glowing yellows, and fiery reds. In its midst stood the Pearl Tower, stretching toward the sky with the ambition of one determined to be on top of the world. And in certain fleeting moments, when the glittering sprawl of manmade wonders blended with the diamonds in the sky, that ambition became a reality.
Shanghai, the Paris of the East. It was as different from Texas as you could get, but it reminded Blake of New York. Like New York, it was a city that defined a nation, and it held the dreams of millions of people in its concrete palms. Unlike New York, Shanghai was a city that still woke up and wondered at its success every day, both intoxicated by and unaccustomed to the power it wielded.
Blake inhaled sharply. The cold, crisp air burned his lungs.
In that moment, he saw it—his future, reflected in the lights and shadows before him.
In that moment, looking at that view, with Farrah in his arms, he believed it.
He could do anything.
He could be his own boss.
He could be free.
Chapter Seventeen
“You’ve known me for four months, and you want fast food.” Olivia crossed her arms over her chest. “I’ve failed you as a friend.”
Farrah laughed. “It’s not that serious. I’m craving a McFlurry, that’s all.”
Olivia grimaced. “I’m in a good mood, so I’m not going to say anything.”
“Thank you, CB Lippmann,” Farrah quipped.
Olivia received the email that morning: she was officially a summer intern for the prestigious investment firm. Farrah heard her excited scream all the way down the hall. Olivia had been floating on air since, at least until Farrah dragged her, Sammy, and Blake into McDonald’s.
The place was packed, so the guys were saving them seats while they waited in line.
Farrah examined the menu. There were staples like the Big Mac and McChicken, but there were also items tailored for a Chinese audience, including taro pies, bubble milk tea, and a Sichuan spicy chicken burger.
The taro pies looked tempting, but she ordered a McFlurry like she’d intended instead, plus two burgers and fries for Blake and Sammy (each).
“You sure you don’t want anything, Liv?” Farrah teased.
“Ugh. No, thanks. Don’t ask me again.” A sly gleam entered Olivia’s eyes. “Let’s talk about a more savory topic. Have you and Blake done the deed yet?”
Farrah blushed. “Define ‘deed.’”
“Don’t be coy. Have you had sex yet?”
“Define ‘sex.’”
“Farrah Lin!”
Farrah looked around. Sammy and Blake sat at a table in the back corner. There was no way they could hear her.
Blake caught her eye and winked.
She smiled as her heart did a happy skip.
“We’ve made it to second,” she said. “No third or home base yet.”
“Why not? He looks like he’s good at bat.” Olivia grinned. “Sammy would be proud of my baseball analogy.”
“Maybe not when you’re using it to discuss another guy’s sex skills. Anyway, to answer your question, Blake wants to take things slow.”
Olivia’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.
A pinprick of insecurity dampened Farrah’s mood. On the one hand, it was sweet that Blake didn’t want to rush things. On the other, didn’t college guys want to have sex like, all the time? Was it normal that he didn’t seem to have a problem saying no every time sex came up?
She was the virgin. She should be the one saying no.
The server called their order number. They picked up their food and walked to their table.
“Don’t overthink it,” Olivia said when she saw the expression on Farrah’s face. “He knows you’ve never done it before, so he probably doesn’t want to rush you before you’re ready.”
“I am ready.” Farrah knew she was whining, but she didn’t care. Seriously, how hard was it to give away your virginity these days?
Olivia giggled. “Hashtag Farrah problems.”
“Shh! Keep your voice down, they can hear.”
“What’s so funny?” Sammy asked. The tray didn’t hit the table before he reached for a fry.
“Nothing,” Olivia and Farrah chorused.
“Sammy, there are some things guys are better off not knowing,” Blake said.
“You’re right, you’re right. By the way,” Sammy said through the mouthful of burger. “There’s something I have to tell you guys.”
“Including me?” Olivia pointed to herself.
“Yeah.” He chewed and swallowed. “I’m, uh, going to be an intern at NASA this summer.”
There was a beat of silence before a loud squeal caused every head in the restaurant to swivel in their direction.
“We’re going to be in New York together?!” Olivia threw her arms around Sammy’s neck. She seemed thrilled for someone who always said study abroad relationships don’t last after the program ends.
Sammy grinned. “Yep.”
“Congrats!” Farrah reached across the table to hug her friend. “You rocket scientist, you.”
“Hardly. I’ll be working on mathematical models for a climate change project. Not exactly Neil Armstrong stuff.”
“Whatever. Anyone who works at NASA is a rocket scientist in my eyes.” Farrah wiped her mouth with a napkin. “You’re my mom’s dream. If I majored in math and got a NASA internship, she’d faint from happiness.”
“Maybe it’s a good thing you didn’t,” Sammy joked.
“Congrats, man.” Blake clapped Sammy on the shoulder. His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“I can’t wait to start my New York spreadsheet.” Olivia whipped out her phone. “There are so many amazing restaurants we have to try. Let’s start in the West Village and work our way to the other neighborhoods.”
Farrah hid a grin. Some things never changed.
When they returned to the dorm, Olivia and Sammy split to plan their summer in New York while Farrah lingered in the hall outside Blake’s room. His uncharacteristic moodiness stopped her from breezing inside like normal.
“What’s wrong?” She leaned against the doorway and watched Blake hang his jacket in the closet with more care than usual.
“Nothing.”
“You’re quiet.”
“I have nothing to say.”
“You always have something to say, even when no one wants you to say anything.”
Not a hint of a smile. It wasn’t Farrah’s best joke, but Blake usually indulged her with at least a chuckle.
She walked inside and placed her hands on Blake’s shoulders, forcing him to look at her. “You can tell me anything. You know that.”
“I know.” Blake blew out a breath. “It’s going to sound stupid.”
“Try me.”
“Everyone has amazing summer plans. Sammy with NASA, Olivia with CB, you with your design i
nternship—”
“I haven’t submitted my application yet,” Farrah reminded him. She needed to put the finishing touches on her final design. She didn’t love it, but it was good enough. At this point, Farrah was just glad she had something on paper, especially since the deadline was coming up fast.
“You will, and you’ll get it.” Blake’s matter-of-fact confidence eased her nerves somewhat.
“Thanks. You’ll have an amazing summer too.” She rubbed his arm. “Don’t worry.”
“Doing what? At least you guys have something concrete lined up.” Blake broke away and sat on his bed. “All I have is a crazy dream to start a bar.”
“It’s not crazy.” Farrah’s fierce tone surprised herself. “You know what else started as a crazy dream? Apple. Microsoft. Every small business and company in the world. You won’t know whether something is achievable unless you try.”
“There’s so much to think about,” Blake argued. “The leasing, the marketing, the liquor licenses, the food. I don’t have the capital to rent a commercial space, much less hire staff. The expenses are too big for my parents to help with, even if they want to help, which isn’t a guarantee.” He noticed her smile. “What’s so funny?”
“You’re thinking like a business owner already.”
“Thanks, but that doesn’t solve my problem.”
She sat next to him. “Let me ask you this. Is a sports bar what you really want?”
Blake’s face softened. “It is. I don’t want to play sports for a living, but I love the community aspect of it. It brings people together. Well, unless you’re rooting for rival teams. You can watch games at home, but there’s nothing like being surrounded by people as excited as you are about every goal, every point scored. It’s hype.”
Farrah laughed. “I’ll take your word for it.” The only sport she watched was the gymnastics portion of the Olympics every four years. “If this is what you really want, go for it. It may not be as ‘concrete’ as an internship at an established firm, but this is your dream. So many people have started their own businesses, and I guarantee you’re just as capable.”