If We Ever Meet Again

by Ana Huang

Farrah shook her head. “I need to be alone when I do it.”

  “Why?”

  “Because.” She faltered. “I guess I’m more relaxed when I’m alone.”

  “Do you trust me?”

  Farrah swallowed, her eyes bright. “Yes.” It came out as a whisper.

  Blake released the air from his lungs. “Close your eyes.”

  Another swallow. Her eyes fluttered closed.

  Farrah’s initial touch was hesitant. She stroked herself like it was the first time, but eventually, her body arched and her breath came out in sexy little pants as she brought herself to the brink of orgasm.

  Lust poured through his veins, burning him with its intensity. Blake curled his hands into fists and willed his body to stay in control.

  Farrah groaned and tore her hands away from her body. She opened her eyes. “I can’t.” Frustration wracked her voice. “I can’t do it with you watching. It’s embarrassing.”

  “Embarrassing?” Blake was stunned. “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen, and I look at myself in the mirror every day.”

  Farrah choked out a laugh. “What a compliment.”

  “It’s not a compliment. It’s the truth. I could watch you forever.” Because I want to be with you forever. The words were on the tip of his tongue, but he swallowed them. “You don’t have to be embarrassed around me. Ever. Not even if you’re, I dunno, listening to Nickelback.”

  “I like Nickelback.”

  Blake tried to conceal his horror.

  Farrah giggled. “Kidding. You should’ve seen the look on your face.”

  “Thank god. See? If I don’t judge you for that, I won’t judge you for anything.”

  “I know.” She blew out a breath. “I don’t know why this is so hard. I have no problem when I’m alone.”

  “Would it help if I went first?”

  Her eyes grew to the size of saucers. “What?”

  “You’re embarrassed to touch yourself in front of me. What if I did it first?” Blake reached down and grasped his shaft. He kept his gaze on hers as he slid his hand over his length, rock-hard and throbbing from Farrah’s show.

  Farrah’s lips parted. Her eyes darted down, up, and down again. They stayed there.

  Meanwhile, Blake ran his gaze over her face and body. It glistened with a faint sheen of sweat from her earlier exertions. Her hair was tousled and her lips swollen. He remembered how he felt between those lips, remembered the warmth of her breath against his skin and the way her soft curves molded against his.

  His breath quickened. He increased his pace until his head fell back, and he came with a roar. Then Farrah was there, enveloping him in the warmth of her mouth, and he came harder, gripping her hair for dear life as she milked every last drop from him.

  Once they finished, he collapsed against the wall, ears ringing from the intensity of his orgasm.

  Farrah licked her lips. Her eyes were bright with arousal. “That was amazing.”

  “Not embarrassing?”

  She shook her head.

  “That’s how I feel when I’m watching you. Except more so because guys are horny bastards.”

  Case in point: Blake hardened again. When it came to Farrah, he was insatiable.

  “Good.” Farrah eased herself back into her previous position. “Let’s try this again.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Farrah’s pulse raced with nerves and arousal. She’d seen guys touch themselves before—in porn. It didn’t do much for her. But watching Blake? It felt even more intimate than she imagined sex would feel.

  Flames of lust curled around her, making her breasts ache and her core weep with need. It didn’t help that Blake was sitting there, looking more gorgeous than any human had the right to look. His eyes, dark and hooded with desire, watched her slide her hands over her body for the second time that night.

  “It’s ok if we don’t get there this time.” His voice rolled over her, hoarse but reassuring. “We’ll have next time and the time after that. We have all the time in the world.”

  They didn’t. They knew that, which was why Farrah refused to look away as she touched herself. She refused to retreat to the corner of her mind that taunted her with its doubts. Instead, she focused on the way her body hummed when she brought it to life, and when those doubts reached out to drag her to the place where she alone was allowed, she focused on Blake and the way he looked at her—like he never wanted to blink. Like he’d never desired anyone the way he desired her.

  In that moment, she believed everything he’d ever told her.

  Her breath hitched. Images of Blake stroking himself flooded her mind. Her movements grew faster, jerkier.

  So close.

  Her lashes fluttered. The corner in her mind beckoned. Farrah grit her teeth and ordered her thoughts to shut up. To her surprise, they obeyed.

  However, that didn’t compare to her surprise when her orgasm slammed through her less than a minute later. The tidal wave of pleasure was so sudden and unexpected she didn’t register what was happening until she was already coming down—

  “Oh my god,” she gasped. Farrah was so caught up in the throes of climax, she didn’t realize Blake had moved.

  His mouth replaced her hand. His tongue swirled around her tight bud, licking and teasing, before he drew it deep into his mouth and suckled hard.

  Farrah cried out. She tried to scoot away, but Blake’s strong hands pinned her in place while he feasted on her most sensitive flesh.

  Her breath came out in short pants.

  She was burning. Burning so hot and so exquisitely she couldn’t stand it, yet she never wanted it to end.

  Farrah’s body didn’t have time to recover from its last high before Blake brought her to the peak again. There she teetered, suspended for an eternity, until she crashed down with a force that shocked her. She’d already fallen, but he was still there, coaxing more and more out of her until she had nothing left to give.

  After the throes of her last orgasm subsided, Farrah collapsed, limp and exhausted, into Blake’s arms. “Oh my god,” she repeated. That was all she could say. She couldn’t think straight. She couldn’t even remember her name.

  He nuzzled her neck. “Good?”

  “Really, really good. Wow.” Now Farrah understood the hype. No wonder her friends gushed about oral sex. Farrah could do this all day, every day.

  Blake’s chuckle reverberated against her skin. “Lucky for you, babe, you got the best person for the job.” He snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her close so her back nestled against his front. He rested his chin on her shoulder. “Thank you for trusting me.”

  Farrah turned to look at him. “Thank you for being trustworthy.”

  They were being so cheesy she would’ve cringed had she read it in a book, but this wasn’t a book. This was her life. And right now, it was perfect.

  Blake and Farrah lay in silence, content with each other’s presence. Farrah rubbed an absentminded thumb over her necklace.

  Three months.

  Three months at CCU had changed nothing beyond the superficial. She had new classes, new friends, and a new living situation, but she’d stayed the same person throughout it all.

  Three months in Shanghai had changed her life.

  To think, she’d been so close to choosing Paris. In an alternate universe, alternate Farrah was gallivanting around the French capital with a different set of friends, kissing different boys, traveling to different cities, and learning a different language.

  This Farrah shivered, her heart breaking for every version of herself that wasn’t right here in Blake’s arms, because this was heaven and every other world was a mere imitation.

  “You always do that.”

  “Do what?” She snuggled closer to him to reassure herself he was still there.

  “Play with your necklace when you’re deep in thought. Or nervous. Or mad. Or sad.” Blake rested his chin on her shoulder and brushed his fingers over the silver pendant. “You
’re not nervous, mad, or sad—at least, I hope not—so penny for your thoughts.”

  Farrah curled her hand over Blake’s. “My father gave me this necklace.” The backs of her eyes burned when she remembered that day.

  Her dad picked her up for their weekly lunch date. He took her to In-N-Out, like he always did, because neither wanted to sit through a full meal. It was too awkward. To Farrah’s surprise, he presented her with the necklace after they polished off their double-doubles and animal-style fries.

  “He bought it for my fifteenth birthday. I still had a few weeks to go, but he said he couldn’t wait. He wanted me to have it early. This was before I walked in on my mom crying and I—” Farrah’s lips trembled. Blake tightened his grip and pressed a kiss to her shoulder. “In a weird way, the necklace comforts me. Like as long as I have it on, I have my dad with me, and I can say all the things I didn’t say when he was alive.”

  Blake was silent for a long moment. “So you’re saying your dad was watching every time we went down on each other?”

  “Blake!”

  “Sorry. Sorry.” He buried his face in her hair. “I make jokes at the most inappropriate times.”

  A smile tugged at her mouth. Farrah could always count on Blake to lighten things up. “It’s ok. I like your inappropriate jokes. Most of the time.”

  “Wrong thing to say, babe. Now I’ll be unstoppable.”

  “You’re the great Blake Ryan. Shouldn’t you already be unstoppable?”

  His stomach rumbled with laughter. “You got me. But you didn’t answer my question. What were you thinking about earlier? You only go all quiet when you’re deep in thought.”

  Farrah rolled over so she was face-to-face with Blake. He was so close she could count every eyelash and see the faint smattering of freckles across his nose. “I was thinking about how lucky I am to have met you.”

  His eyes darkened to sapphires. “Luck had nothing to do with it.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “We’re here because we’re meant to be here.”

  “Do you really believe that?” Farrah wanted to believe it. If they were meant to be here, then it was fate. Fate, as grand and omniscient as she was, wouldn’t bring two people together, then tear them apart.

  Fate was the only thing that trumped time.

  “I really do.”

  Farrah let Blake’s faith sweep her away because, at the end of the day, that was all they had.

  She kissed him, a long, slow kiss that built in heat and passion until she couldn’t take it any longer. Their bodies moved together, skin against skin, and she cried out for him, craving that final connection.

  “Are you sure?” Blake panted. She could feel him against her stomach, hot and hard.

  The ache intensified.

  “Yes.” She was going to die if he didn’t do it. Die of fiery, exquisite torture. “I have condoms in my drawer. Just in case,” she said when she saw the look on his face.

  That was good enough.

  Farrah heard her drawer open and close, followed by the sound of tearing foil. Blake returned, holding and kissing and caressing her until she growled and raked her nails down his back in impatience.

  Every inch of her was on fire, consumed by flames of desire. All she could think about was Blake being inside her.

  Then finally, wondrously, he was. He entered her in one fluid stroke, sheathing himself to the hilt. Farrah arched into him with a gasp of pain and pleasure.

  Blake stilled. “Are you ok?”

  “Yes.” She gripped his arms. “Keep going.”

  Farrah set her jaw as he moved again. Blake’s initial thrusts were slow, but he was so large it took her a while to adjust. Eventually, her muscles relaxed and the pain subsided, replaced with a sensation so great it robbed her of breath. He filled her completely until there was no space left for anything else. There was only Blake.

  She moved her hips in rhythm with his and hissed when he rubbed his thumb over her swollen clit.

  Farrah couldn’t believe she was doing it. Sex.

  Except it was greater than sex. It was all-consuming. Mind, heart, body, soul. All of it laid bare for the boy in her arms.

  The flames intensified, drowning her in their heart.

  Blake groaned. His thrusts grew faster, harder. In response, she climbed higher and higher, desperate to reach the peak once more now that she knew she wasn’t going to be alone when she got there.

  “Farrah.”

  “Yes?” She wrapped her legs around him, urging him deeper until he hit a spot that caused her to gasp in pleasure.

  “I love you.”

  People say you shouldn’t trust a guy’s confession during sex. That the hormones muddle their brains and make them say things they don’t mean.

  Maybe that was true for some guys, but Farrah didn’t care about other guys. She cared about Blake, and even if he hadn’t confessed earlier, even if he’d never uttered the word “love” aloud until now, she saw it in his eyes. A veil had lifted, allowing her to see all of him and all of her reflected in those blue depths. Every feeling, every decision, every choice—not just theirs but those of everyone who’d come before them. Thousands of years, millions of moving pieces that had to fit, if only for a second, so they could be where they were in that moment.

  She saw it all.

  And now that she’d walked amongst the stars, how could she not believe in fate? How could she not believe in love?

  “I love you too.”

  Blake’s smile could make the sun hide in shame.

  To prove their words, they poured everything they had into each other, urging one another to go higher, faster.

  Farrah crashed over the edge first; Blake followed soon after, their cries of ecstasy mingling until neither could form a word and they collapsed into each other’s arms.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  The wind nipped at Blake’s cheeks, nose, and ears. Did he have ears anymore? He couldn’t tell. All sensation had left his body.

  He deeply regretted his decision to stroll through Tianzifang one last time before the semester ended. The artsy enclave was one of Blake’s favorite spots in the city, and its labyrinth of alleyways, shops, galleries, and restaurants made it the perfect place to while away an evening…unless it was winter.

  They should’ve gone to laser tag like Luke suggested. At least they would’ve been warm.

  “Let’s go inside.” Farrah squeezed his hand. “You’re freezing.”

  “I’m fine.” Blake’s breath steamed in the cold air.

  “Told ya we should’ve done laser tag. Told ya you should’ve worn a hat.” Luke rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. His own beanie sat snug on his head, that bastard. “I’m always right.”

  “You didn’t tell me I should wear a hat.”

  “Well, I would’ve had I known you weren’t going to.”

  “What happened to spoiling the birthday boy?” Blake grumbled.

  “You said you wanted something low-key. No presents, no party,” Courtney reminded him.

  “Doesn’t mean I want you guys ganging up on me.”

  “I’m on your side.” Farrah kissed his cheek. “Always.”

  A surge of love flooded Blake’s veins and warmed his cold skin. He turned his head so he could give her a proper kiss.

  Their friends groaned and made faux gagging noises.

  “You guys are giving me a toothache,” Kris said. “First Court and Leo, then Liv and Sammy, and now you two. I’m the only sane one left in the group.”

  She turned her attention to a rare Visa sign posted on a vendor’s stall. Even in a tourist-friendly marketplace like Tianzifang, cash reigned supreme. “Ooh. They accept Visa?” She tossed a navy-blue beanie at Blake, who caught it in mid-air. “Don’t say I never got you anything.”

  “Uh, thanks.”

  Kris swiped an armful of jewelry and handed her card to the vendor, who looked like he couldn’t believe his luck.

  Normally, Kris wouldn�
�t touch fake silver with a ten-foot pole, but Blake suspected she was still trying to get back at her dad for marrying “The Red-Headed Monster,” as she called her soon-to-be stepmother.

  The credit card machine beeped. The vendor’s forehead creased. “Your card was declined.” He returned the Visa to Kris with noticeably less enthusiasm.

  “That’s impossible.” Kris shoved the Visa back into his hand. “Try again.”

  He did. Declined.

  “Try this one.” She fished another card out of her wallet.

  Also declined.

  “It’s ok,” Blake said. “I can pay for the hat.”

  “There’s something wrong with the machine,” Kris snapped. “It’s fine. I have cash.” She dumped the jewelry back into their bins and slapped a fifty kuai note on the counter. “Keep the change.”

  “Thanks for the gift.” Blake pulled the hat over his head. Instant warmth. Amazing what a bit of wool can do.

  “Yeah, whatever. Wait until my father hears about this.” Kris flipped up the collar of her fur-trimmed coat. “Our accountant is going to be in so much trouble.”

  Beside her, Olivia let out a huge yawn. Her third of the night.

  “Why don’t you head back to the dorm?” Blake suggested. “You have an early flight. No need to stay up late for me.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah. Farrah and I are going to hang out here a little longer.” Blake wanted some alone time with Farrah before they left.

  “I can take a hint. Happy birthday.” Olivia hugged Blake and Farrah. “If I don’t see you before we leave, have an amazing Christmas.”

  “You too.” Farrah squeezed her friend tight. “Love you.”

  The rest of the group said their goodbyes and dispersed, leaving Blake and Farrah alone.

  “Finally.” Blake wrapped his arms around Farrah’s waist. “I thought they’d never leave.”

  She laughed. “They’re our friends.”

  “Yeah, and they were cramping our style.” Blake’s stomach growled. “Are you down for a second dinner? I’m getting hungry again.”

  Walking around in the cold really burned off the calories.