“It does things to me, too,” I confess, fear and elation making my head spin.
“Tell me,” he says, the heat in his gaze making me feel safe. This isn’t a joke or a prank. He really seems to want what I want…even if I’m not exactly sure what that is yet.
“It feels like I’m sparkling,” I say. “All over. Even under my skin. And also…”
“Also, what?” he presses after a beat.
I gulp in a breath and force out the word, even though I’m pretty sure it’s weird, “Hungry.”
His arms go around me under the water, making my heart beat faster. “Yeah. You make me feel the same way. So damned hungry.” He gathers me closer, until my belly is pressed to his and I can feel the hard ridge beneath his swim trunks.
I gasp as I realize what it is, but I don’t pull away. I instinctively press closer, rubbing against him, dragging a groan from deep in his throat.
“Fuck, Emma,” he rasps. “Don’t do that. Unless you’re ready to get out of this pool and go back to my bedroom.”
The words are enough to send a fresh wave of fear dumping into my blood, scaring me just enough to make me step back, allowing water to flow between our burning bodies.
I’m burning now, too, so hot I bend my knees and sink under the chilly water up to my neck in an effort to cool off.
Asher lets out a ragged sigh and props his hands on his hips, seeming to fight some private battle for a moment before he looks up, meeting my eyes in the near darkness. “I’m sorry. For all the shit I said earlier. We don’t… We don’t have to do anything but swim if you don’t want to. I can just say we did. That should accomplish what you need to accomplish, too, right?”
I’m so surprised it takes a moment for his words to penetrate. When they do, I’m not sure whether to be touched or…disappointed.
“You’d do that?” I ask. “Really?”
He nods. “Yeah, I would. I don’t… I don’t want to hurt you.” His gaze grows tortured as he adds, “But I really want to destroy your dad. I’d kill him if I could get away with it. I hate him so fucking much.”
“I hate him sometimes, too,” I confess, tears pressing at the backs of my eyes. “But I also love him. Because he’s…my dad, and I can’t seem to help it. It’s all so messed up.”
“It is,” he agrees.
“But it doesn’t have to stay that way,” I say, hope blooming in my chest. “Maybe we can both get what we want. I was thinking earlier, when you said you wanted to do things to me and film them for—”
“I’m sorry,” he cuts in, looking truly ashamed of himself. “Seriously, I didn’t mean it. I mean, I sort of meant it, but I—”
“No, it’s okay.”
“It’s not okay,” he insists. “I don’t ever want to take advantage of someone like that. I don’t want to force you or anyone else to do things in bed with me that they don’t want to do. If I did that, I’d be…just like your dad.” The words seem to surprise him. “Fuck. I can’t believe it took me this long to figure that out.” He shakes his head again. “Shit, Emma. You should get away from me. I’m a monster, too, just like him. I—”
“You’re not,” I insist, rising from the water and moving closer. When he tries to step away, I grip his biceps and hold on tight. “You are nothing like my dad. And no, I don’t want to you to film us or to do mean, rough stuff, but…” I gather my courage. “But I do want to be with you. I really want it, Asher. I want to kiss you. To…more than kiss you.”
“You want this inside you?” He cups my bottom in one big hand and draws me close, pinning me against his erection, making the sparkles dancing beneath my skin go completely out of control. “Because it’s going to hurt the first time, Emma. Even if I’m as gentle as I can be.”
Head swimming with heat and hunger, I nod. “I know. I’m not afraid. I was, but now I’m just…” I exhale. “I want it so much, want you so much. More with every passing second. And like I said, I was thinking about this earlier, and I know my dad. Seeing me victimized would make him angry, for sure, but seeing me eager and happy and loving every second of what you do to me…”
Understanding dawns on Asher’s handsome face, followed swiftly by shock, “Really? You’d do that. Film it and…show your dad? For me?”
I wrinkle my nose. “Not film all of it, no. But maybe just enough so it’s clear that I’m with you of my own free will? That not only have I defied Dad and broken his rules, but that I chose to do it.” I press even closer, my blood racing as his hardness rubs against something sensitive between my legs, something that makes my knees weak as I add, “And that I loved every second of it.”
“I’ll make damned sure of that,” Asher says, cupping my face with one hand as the other grips my bottom even tighter. “I’m going to make you feel so good, Emma. I’m going to show you all the incredible things your body can do. I’ll make you fly so high you’ll want to sleep over in my bed every night.”
Before I can confess that I want that—want it badly and as soon as possible—he bends down and covers my mouth with his.
It’s my first kiss and for a moment it takes my breath away.
I freeze, uncertain what to do, but the gentle caress of his lips works some kind of magic on my stiff limbs. First, I start to relax, then, to respond. I experiment with small movements at first, gentle pressure with my lips, exploratory sweeps of my tongue, but within a few moments the urgent feeling building inside of me takes over.
With a moan, I wrap my arms around Asher’s neck and let the need take control.
Instantly, the kiss gets even better, hotter, and strangely…sweeter.
I swear, as Asher’s tongue strokes hungrily into my mouth and his hands roam over my body, I feel like something precious and irreplaceable. The way he touches me isn’t rough or demanding. There’s wonder in his caress, reverence even. And when he cups my breast through the damp swimsuit fabric the sigh that escapes his throat is a relieved sound, not a predatory one.
“Damn, Emma, you feel so good,” he whispers against my lips as his thumb traces my tight nipple through the fabric.
I whimper and cling tighter to his shoulders, not sure what to do with all the things that simple touch makes me feel. “Asher, that… That’s so…” My breath rushes out as I press closer to his hand. “It’s so good, but it makes me want…”
“What do you want?” he asks, his voice so deep it vibrates my bones and makes the “on fire” feelings even more intense.
“It makes me want you even more,” I say. “It makes me want you to touch me in other places.”
“What other places?” he asks, an edge of amusement in his tone that makes me suspect he knows exactly what “other places” I’m talking about.
I pull back from the kiss, gazing up into his eyes. “Don’t tease me.”
“I’m not teasing you. I’m flirting with you, C.B. Don’t you know the difference?”
“No,” I say, pain flashing in my chest, warring with the pleasure I feel as he finds my other nipple and begins rolling it between two fingers. “I don’t know the difference. And I don’t want to be C.B. anymore. I’m not in a cult and I’m not a Barbie doll. I’m real. A real person.”
He sobers. “I know that, Emma. And I know where you need me to touch you.” His other hand, the one not rubbing my nipple slides between us, coming to rest on my belly, making my pulse race even faster. “Can I put my hand between your legs?”
Gulping, I nod loosely, fearing my heart is going to pound right through my ribs as his fingers dip into my swim bottoms and move lower. And then he’s touching me in a place no one else has ever touched, in a place I was taught not even to touch myself any more than necessary to keep my body clean.
From the time I was a little girl, I was told it was sinful for anyone but my husband to touch me there, but this doesn’t feel sinful.
It feels…beautiful.
Words lost to the pleasure blooming beneath Asher’s fingers, all I can do is cling to him as
wonder and bliss build in secret places deep in my core.
“And how about baby?” Asher asks softly, holding my gaze as he continues to work his magic, making the moment terrifyingly intimate, but also…so right. “Can I call you that? Call you baby? Just when we’re together like this?”
“Yes,” I whisper, my arms trembling as the pleasure starts to get bigger, wilder, so close to chaos that it scares me a little.
Somehow Asher seems to sense it and whispers, “Don’t be afraid. Don’t fight it. Just let go and let it happen. It’s going to feel so good, Emma, and you look so sexy right now, with your cheeks flushed and your lips parted, about to come on my hand.”
A strangled, primal gasp bursts from my chest, but I’m too far gone to be embarrassed and Asher seems to like the sound.
His eyes darken and his fingers move faster, press harder, as he says, “Fuck, yes, come for me, Em. Let me make you come, angel. It’s all I want. The only thing in the fucking world. I need your orgasm, need it so fucking bad.”
The words, and the honesty I hear in them—the driving need he has to bring me pleasure—are the raindrops that break the dam. A moment later the heat between my legs ignites, pulsing and throbbing as the knot of pleasure deep in my belly explodes, sending euphoria swarming across my skin.
“Oh God,” I choke out, clinging to him as my knees buckle. But he holds me up, keeping me from sliding beneath the water until the long, wonderful, wrenching bliss finally begins to fade.
“Not God. Asher’s the name,” he says, the teasing note back in his voice as his fingers slide lower. “I don’t want anyone else getting credit for my orgasms.”
“Asher,” I say, his name as much a prayer as anything I’ve ever uttered. “Don’t worry, I won’t forget. Not ever.”
“Good,” he says, serious again as he presses a finger into where my body still feels swollen and charged with bliss.
A part of me wants to look away, but I don’t. I keep my eyes locked on his as he penetrates me with just one finger. It feels so good, so real and right, that the last of my reluctance fades away. I part my thighs a little more and confess, “I’m ready. I want you to be my first.”
“Really?” His finger pulses in and out of me, making that sweet knot start to tighten inside of me again. “Even if Walter dropped dead tonight? Even if your dad agreed to let you go to college and put off getting married? Would you still want this? Want me?”
Without a beat of hesitation I say, “I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want you.” I shudder, my knees getting weak again as he continues to play me like an instrument he’s practiced for hours on end. “Please, Asher. Take me to your bed. Now.”
Growling, he pulls his fingers from between my legs, takes my hand in his, and starts up the steps leading out of the pool.
I didn’t learn to swim tonight, but I have a feeling I’m about to learn something even better.
Something that will change the way I see the world, and myself, forever.
Chapter 7
Asher
I don’t remember the journey across the complex or opening the door to the condo.
I don’t even remember how Emma and I got up the stairs to my room.
I guess I must have carried her the entire way because when I slam the door shut behind us, she’s still in my arms.
She can’t weigh much more than a hundred pounds and I’m in excellent shape, but my heart is still pounding and my lungs ache. It’s the look in her eyes that’s making it hard to breathe.
As I set her on her feet beside my bed, she looks like she wants to rip my clothes off and devour me—whole.
“You’re full of surprises, buttercup.” I curl my fingers around the back of her neck, working at the knot holding up the top of her swimsuit.
“How so?” She reaches for the tie at the close of my trunks, making the hard-on situation even worse. I can’t remember ever being this hard, this hot, this ready to be inside a girl.
But then I’ve never been with someone who matters to me the way Emma does.
“Like that.” I glance down at her hands. “I thought I’d have to talk you into feeling brave enough to undress me.”
Uncertainty flickers behind her eyes. “Am I being too…eager?”
I shake my head as I cup her cheeks in my hands. “No. Hell, no. I love it. And I’m pretty eager, too.” I arch a brow and glance down again. “As you might have noticed.”
Her cheeks flush as she whispers, “Yeah, I did notice. Is it… Um…” She clears her throat with a nervous laugh. “Is it always that…big?”
“When I’m hard, yeah. But don’t worry. We’ll fit just fine.” I drag my thumb gently over her plush bottom lip. “As long as you’re ready first.”
“I’m ready,” she says, hunger and anxiety warring in her eyes. “So ready. It feels like my heart’s beating between my legs.”
My jaw clenches. “Good. But I doubt you’re ready just yet.”
“Oh yeah?” she challenges, still holding my gaze. “How would you know?”
“Because you’re not moaning,” I say, working open the damp knot behind her neck. “Or breathing hard or begging me to fuck you.”
Her flush deepens. “I have never said that word. Not a single time in my entire life. I seriously doubt I’m going to start throwing it around tonight.”
“Then you are vastly underestimating what I’m going to do to you, little girl.” I separate the fabric and let it fall to drape around her ribs, glancing down as Emma’s breasts bob free.
Fuck, she’s so gorgeous. So perfect.
I cup her silken skin in my hands, rubbing my thumbs over her already tight nipples. “Like this. How much of this do you think you can take before you start begging me to fuck you?”
Her lips part. “I-I don’t know.”
“Or this?” I drop one hand between us, reaching down the front of her bikini bottoms and bringing two fingers to tease across her clit. “What if I touched you like this, so soft, so gentle… Just enough to get you soaking wet and turned on, but not enough to take the edge off? Do you think you could lower yourself to beg for my cock, then, Princess Emma?”
Her brow furrows. “Why would you say that? About lowering myself?”
“Isn’t that what you’re doing here tonight?” I ask, increasing the pressure of my fingers against her clit. She reaches for my shoulders, the fact that she needs help keeping her balance blunting the sting of shame as I add, “You’re slumming with me tonight, right? Fucking the lowliest piece of shit you can find to piss off Daddy dearest?”
“No, it’s not like that. Not at all.” Emma pulls my hand from her bottoms and steps back, but she only gets a few inches before her knees hit the mattress. “You’re not a piece of shit.”
“To your dad I am. You know it; I know it—and we both know that’s why you’re here.” I shrug, pretending reality doesn’t fucking suck. “It’s fine.” I reach for her, but she lifts her arms, covering her breasts as she glares up at me.
“It’s not fine because it’s not true. I…” She shakes her head, swallowing hard before she adds in a halting voice, “I’m not here because of that, Asher. I’m here because you… Because even though you were mean to me…” She pulls in a breath, squeezing her eyes shut before she adds in a rush, “I want you, okay? I’ve always wanted you. Just standing close to you for too long is enough to make me crazy.”
Shocked—and more than a little intrigued—I ask, “Crazy how?”
“My heart beats faster and I start tingling all over and sometimes…” She looks up at me, her voice trembling as she adds, “Sometimes you make me get…wet.”
Balls aching and my cock swelling even thicker, I fight the urge to push her back onto the mattress and kiss every inch of her.
I need to make sure she’s for real—and to memorize that sexy as hell look on her face—before this goes any further. “When?” I ask. “When’s the first time I made you wet?”
Her lips part, and
her chest rises and falls faster behind her crossed arms. “Ninth grade. In the library. You came up behind me, pinned me against the books, and whispered something awful in my ear. By the time you left me alone, my panties were so wet I thought I’d…” Her gaze cuts to the left as she whispers, “I thought I’d peed myself a little or something. But when it kept happening—only with you and only after you made my skin feel fizzy—I did some research and figured out what was happening. I realized that it meant I… That it meant my body wanted your body.”
I circle her wrists with my fingers. “That’s nothing to be ashamed of.” I guide one of her hands down to touch my cock through my swimsuit, so engorged I flinch at the soft brush of her fingers. “See? You do the same thing to me.”
She peeks up at me through her lashes. “Even before tonight?”
I nod, bending my head closer to hers as I confess, “I was hard that day in the library, too. And just about every day since. All you have to do is glance at me over your shoulder, Emma, and I’m hard enough to shatter glass. I dream about being inside you, all the fucking time.”
Wonder softens her expression. “Really? Then why…”
I shake my head. “I don’t know.” My chest tightens as my conscience shoots out a “bullshit” flare. I release her wrists, bringing my hands back to her breasts, caressing, teasing, worshipping them with my fingers as I add, “I was hurt, I guess. Before we were kicked out of the valley, you were my friend. I cared about you, Em. So much. And then you just…cut me out of your life. Out of your heart.”
“You were never out of my heart,” she says, covering my hands with hers and pressing them tighter to her breasts. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way. Even for a second, let alone as long as I did.”
“And I’m sorry I treated you like shit,” I say, the shame clouds circling my head growing darker. “And I’m really sorry that some sick part of me enjoyed it. Even…got off on it.”
“But I liked it, too.” She arches her spine, sighing as I capture her nipples between my fingers and apply pulsing pressure. “Does that mean we’re messed up?”
Broken by the Bully (Beauty in the Breaking Book 1) Page 4