by Jim Colucci
Meanwhile, another native of St. Olaf, Thor Anderson (Ken Berry), shows up on Richmond Street to rekindle a romance with Rose. The only problem is Rose can’t remember Thor from Adam. Over dinner, Blanche tries to help, pumping Thor for clues. Then, as her besotted suitor literally skips off to the bathroom, Rose does recall one tidbit of history: she had merely used Thor, to make her future husband, Charlie Nylund, jealous. Ironically, it’s only after a mortified Rose finally confesses to Thor that it all does finally come rushing back to her, as he kisses her good-bye—because Thor was a remarkably bad kisser then, and still is.
COMMENTARY: Sophia’s choice, about whether to step in for Sarah to love and care for Marvin, makes for a beautiful story, but the truly fun part is the casting: guest star Betty Garrett was an accomplished film actress, a six-decade Broadway veteran, and TV star. Betty started her career in musicals both on the stage and in film, appearing in the big-screen versions of On the Town in 1949 and My Sister Eileen in 1955. Her career sidetracked for years by the Hollywood blacklist, she came back strong on TV in the seventies, playing both landlady Edna Babish on Laverne & Shirley and recurring neighbor Irene Lorenzo on All in the Family.
Character actor Louis Guss, who had played Don Giuseppe Zaluchi in The Godfather and who had landed another of his greatest roles at age 69, playing Cher’s uncle Raymond Cappomaggi in the 1987 film Moonstruck, made the perfect Marvin—although he wasn’t the original choice for the role. Partway through the production week, he replaced another veteran character actor, Milton Selzer (1918–2006), who had been let go when he had been unable to retain his lines.
Rose tries to remember the still-besotted Thor (Ken Berry).
Photo by ABC PHOTO ARCHIVES/ABC via GETTY IMAGES.
Guest star Betty Garrett studies her lines on the set of Marvin and Sarah’s apartment.
Photo courtesy of the EDWARD S. STEPHENSON ARCHIVE at the ART DIRECTORS GUILD.
“And by the way, Dorothy’s not my daughter, she’s my lesbian lover. See, Marvin? How do you like it? Not a pretty picture, is it!”
—SOPHIA
And in another big piece of casting, this episode features Ken Berry, a TV staple since his recurring roles in the early ’60s on The Ann Sothern Show and Dr. Kildare. From 1965-67, he starred in ABC’s Western spoof F Troop, which he followed with a leading role in Mayberry R.F.D. from 1968-71. Ken’s appearances over a decade-long span on The Carol Burnett Show ultimately led to his casting in his most recognizable role, that of the besotted son Vinton on Mama’s Family, which ran from 1983-90.
MARC CHERRY: The idea for this story came from Jamie and me, and the episode had one of the biggest laughs that we ever wrote—actually, that Jamie wrote. When Dorothy walks over and opens the door, and Sarah and Marvin are standing there with a flower, Dorothy says, “Oh thank you, but we already know Jesus,” and then closes the door and walks back.
When Bea got up off the couch, opened the door, said her line, slammed the door, and walked away, the audience would start a laugh that went on and on. And Bea wasn’t going to stop walking until they rang the doorbell again—but they weren’t going to ring the doorbell again until the laughter stopped. So Bea went and sat down on the sofa, and waited until finally the audience stopped laughing. The commotion went on for so long that Bea had to do the bit three times.
RUE McCLANAHAN: I had had a crush on Ken Berry since the late fifties, when I saw him in a revue in Hollywood. What a dancer! So when I had first gotten the chance to work with him, on the series Apple Pie, I was thrilled. He guest starred as a salesman named Fred, who was trying to make enough money in 1931 selling encyclopedias to move to Hollywood and make it in movies as a dancer. I got to do a soft shoe with Ken in Apple Pie. The episode never ended up being broadcast, but I still have it on tape.
KEN BERRY: I was a big fan of The Golden Girls, and was happy to appear on the show. Those four ladies were surefire; they knew just what to do with the material. That week, I remember telling one of the writers how well written the show was. And in fact, I’m not sure what I really brought to this episode. Sometimes when a show is that well-crafted, you just have to say your lines and get out of the way.
Sophia puts the moves on new boyfriend, Marvin (Louis Guss).
Photo by ABC PHOTO ARCHIVES/ABC via GETTY IMAGES.
BETTY GARRETT: Almost every actor wanted to be on The Golden Girls, and I was very happy with the part of Sarah, because the storyline was very sweet and was a departure for me on TV. I had the reputation of being a comedian, and I liked the fact that this story was quite serious and dramatic. In fact, I don’t remember having any jokes, and I really didn’t mind. I had one long monologue, and I’ll always be grateful to Bea for what she said to me. In between shots, she looked at me and said, “You’re such a good actress.” I just treasured that. Because I had done a lot of serious parts, but when you get the reputation of just being a funny girl, you don’t get that compliment often.
EPISODE 169
GOODBYE, MR. GORDON
Written by: GAIL PARENT & JIM VALLELY Directed by: LEX PASSARIS Original airdate: JANUARY 11, 1992
As Dorothy prepares for a visit from her eleventh-grade English teacher, Mr. Gordon (James Callahan, 1930–2007), Sophia remembers the huge crush her daughter had on the man, recalling how she used to help him grade papers, do his laundry, and even rotate his tires. Once Mr. Gordon arrives, Dorothy turns into a giggly seventeen-year-old all over again. During lunch, when he mentions having trouble organizing his thoughts for an article he’s writing, she enthusiastically volunteers to help.
Meanwhile, Rose has been promoted to associate producer of the Wake Up, Miami show and is looking for two women to join the panel discussion she has created. Blanche jumps at the chance for TV exposure, and volunteers, as does Dorothy. But they’re both shocked, as the cameras roll, to learn that the segment, “Women Who Live Together,” is about lesbians.
After several days of being mad at Rose, Blanche eventually forgives her—especially when she realizes she’s stumbled upon a new method for picking up curious men. In the meantime, Dorothy invests days’ worth of work on Mr. Gordon’s article—only to have him turn around and have it published under his own name. Disillusioned and hurt, Dorothy tells him off and asks him to leave. As she complains to her mother that her teenage fantasy of Mr. Gordon is now tarnished, Sophia waxes poetic, reminding her that “keeping fantasies alive is a part of life.”
COMMENTARY: It’s a question, often whispered: “They’re single, over thirty, and they live together? Are they gay?” These days, it’s something one wonders about any longtime, same-sex roommates. And with this episode, it’s a question The Golden Girls gets to enjoy cleverly playing with as well.
Back in the season-two episode “Isn’t It Romantic?,” Blanche didn’t even know the meaning of the word “lesbian”—but she sure does now. Take a close look at Kent Zbornak, playing the guy in the Wake Up, Miami audience who asks Dorothy and Blanche the first question, about gender roles in their supposed lesbian relationship; four episodes later, in “Journey to the Center of Attention,” the Golden Girls stage manager will turn up again at the Rusty Anchor, as the patron Blanche nearly strangles with the microphone cord.
The set of Wake Up, Miami.
Photo courtesy of the EDWARD S. STEPHENSON ARCHIVE at the ART DIRECTORS GUILD.
“Rose, we can’t kill you here because there are cameras.”
—DOROTHY
Playing one member of the talk show’s “other” lesbian couple is Catherine Dunn, a member of the show’s production staff. And playing Mr. Gordon is James Callahan, who had been a regular on such series as The Governor and J. J. and The Runaways, but remains best known as Walter Powell, the family patriarch on the 1984–90 sitcom Charles in Charge.
JIM VALLELY: We had fun writing the jokes in this episode, like the questions that Sophia stands up and asks to embarrass Blanche and Dorothy from the audience. But I had a big fight with one of our producers, N
ina Wass, about this one. I had begged her please, please when the camera cuts to Dorothy on the talk show, put a chyron underneath the shot that says: DOROTHY, A LESBIAN. Nina promised she would, but then somewhere along the way, someone didn’t. I never knew why.
EPISODE 170
THE COMMITMENTS
Written by: TRACY GAMBLE & RICHARD VACZY Directed by: LEX PASSARIS Original airdate: JANUARY 25, 1992
When Dorothy wins tickets to Beatlemania in a radio giveaway, she asks Blanche to take over her previously scheduled blind date. To Blanche’s surprise, Jerry (Ken Howard) turns out to be handsome—but initially a dud, as he fails to open her car door and worse, asks her to pay half the dinner check.
The next day, Jerry shows up to apologize for his behavior, which the recent widower had cribbed from a guide to modern dating. And so the two give courtship another try—with even weirder results: after five dates, gentlemanly Jerry has failed to put on any moves. Blanche frets that the day may have finally come when she has lost her sex appeal. Nevertheless, feeling a love for Jerry she hasn’t known since the death of her husband, George, she sets out to seduce the man by luring him to a sleazy motel, complete with vibrating bed, mirrored ceiling, and retractable trapeze. But the plan backfires, when an uncomfortable Jerry makes a hasty exit.
Later that night, Blanche offers Jerry her apology, and he explains his reticence; he had married his high school sweetheart, and as he reenters the dating world, he finds himself to be just plain old-fashioned. He extols the virtues of tender caresses and of waiting for that first long, passionate big kiss—and then he plants one on Blanche, leaving her with a blissed-out smile.
Meanwhile, having had way too good a time at the concert, Dorothy brings Don (Terry Kiser), the band’s version of George Harrison, home to bed. But immediately, she begins trying make over her new faux Beatle boyfriend. As his “muse”—or, as Sophia points out, his Yoko Ono—she convinces him to quit the band in order to pursue his own music career. But Don’s solo debut turns out to be a bust; the man, it turns out, has no talent.
RICHARD VACZY: This episode is the last one Tracy Gamble and I wrote, and it had initially been scheduled for closer to the end of the series. But when another script needed work, the shows got reordered, and this one moved up. I was disappointed, because it had a beautiful moment of growth for Blanche that it would have been nice to end with.
The thing that had intrigued us about the story was that with Blanche, here was a woman who as a beautiful young girl had been able to go anywhere she wanted, have any meal, get on any airplane. But all of a sudden, her looks—the thing she relies upon most—are not working with this man. I loved the idea of introducing the old-world sensibility that Ken Howard’s character had, as opposed to where the show had been going at that point—for example, Sophia and Cesar Romero in bed together. This went completely the other way, reverting to something more romantic and traditional. For all the episodes we did, I liked getting the chance to introduce a moral message into at least some of them. Not judging promiscuity, but showing the value of slowing down and enjoying the moment.
Not only did Rue love Blanche’s storyline and the episode’s ending, but Bea loved what she got to do as well. It was one of those somewhat unusual shows where Bea’s story was just pure fun, and Bea had a great time the whole week doing it. The idea came about because I have a friend who’s a huge Beatles fan, who took me to see a Beatlemania show in Long Beach. At the show, he said, “You know, what if Dorothy went after one of these guys?” At the time, I said to him, “What are you, high?” But then I started throwing the idea around in my mind. My friend didn’t get credit for the idea, and he probably should have. So Andy Stone, here’s your credit.
BEA ARTHUR: This episode was so so much fun, as was working with that wonderful actor Terry Kiser. I loved how far out of reality the Beatlemania storyline went. It was funny funny funny.
KEVIN ABBOTT (writer/coproducer): This script contains one of my favorite Golden Girls moments. At the end, Rose asks Blanche how Jerry’s kiss made her feel, and as the last line of the show, she responds simply, “Like a lady.” I remember that at the table read for the episode, Rue got to that line, closed the script, and started to tear up. She said out loud, “I love this!” Blanche was so often called a slut, and this was instead a nice moment for the character. And it was interesting to see how it really affected Rue. She really embraced that moment.
RUE McCLANAHAN: The ending said that Blanche was not a slut – and I’d been telling people that all along!
KEN HOWARD: The opportunity to guest star on The Golden Girls came out of the blue, just as my wife, Linda, and I were planning our wedding. It was a busy time, but I was excited to do the show because I was a fan. I knew Bea Arthur a little through Broadway circles, and Betty White through animal charities. And I’d just worked with Rue McClanahan on a TV movie, The Man in the Brown Suit, which had filmed on location in Spain in the summer of 1988. We’d had a lot of opportunity on the set to chat, and so I was happy when I heard I’d be working with Rue again.
Working on The Golden Girls was a wonderful experience, although it goes by so fast. I enjoyed watching those women work. That week, I even developed an impression of Bea—the trick was to let all the air out of my lungs before I would talk.
Afterward, Linda had the idea to send each of the ladies flowers. And they were all so touched—but the way Bea expressed it, she got mad at me. She said, “You mustn’t spend your money that way, and don’t you ever do that again. Do you hear me!” It was so her. Her way of saying thank you was to say, “That’s excessive, and don’t ever do it again!”
EPISODE 171
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
Written by: DON SEIGEL & JERRY PERZIGIAN Directed by: LEX PASSARIS Original airdate: FEBRUARY 8, 1992
The animal actor playing Jake receives his training on the set of Mrs. Hubbard’s hospital room.
Photo courtesy of the EDWARD S. STEPHENSON ARCHIVE at the ART DIRECTORS GUILD.
Dorothy is excited when Jeopardy!—her all-time favorite show—announces contestant tryouts in Miami. And after she and Blanche—who doesn’t care about the show but has a crush on its host, Alex Trebek—show up to take the written test, Dorothy is indeed selected to proceed to a live audition.
As Dorothy studies long into the night, Sophia advises her to dial down the intensity and instead just get some sleep. Moments later, when Dorothy does doze off, she dreams of a nightmare scenario where she’s on the show, up against not only her lascivious Empty Nest neighbor Charlie Dietz (David Leisure) but her own roommate—and the show’s reigning champ—Rose. Worse yet are the first-round categories, which seem suspiciously tailored to Dorothy’s opponents: Cows, Babes, Chickens, More Babes, Chicken Babes, and Baby Chickens. And so while Rose and Charlie seem like ringers, Dorothy fails to score.
In the much more challenging Double Jeopardy round, however, a cocky Dorothy cleans up. But when the dream proceeds right to Final Jeopardy and its question: “American Hero Buried in Grant’s Tomb,” Alex declares, to Dorothy’s dreamstate horror, that Rose is right: it’s Cary, rather than Ulysses S. And when spoilsport Dorothy demands a ruling from the show’s producers, Merv Griffin (1925–2007) himself not only sides with Rose, but also revokes Dorothy’s parting gifts.
The next day, in the actual audition, Dorothy’s up against much tougher competition in a NASA engineer and a neurosurgeon. And though she actually manages to win, her unsportsmanlike demeanor costs her dearly. As the show’s casting agent (Derek McGrath) explains, “We don’t think anyone would root for you.”
Meanwhile, to perk up Rose’s spirits after a tough week of volunteering, Dorothy and Blanche surprise her with a rescue dog from the local shelter. Rose recruits Jake to help out at the hospital as a therapy dog, and he soon takes a shine to the elderly Hubbards. The canine companion works miracles with Grace Hubbard (Camila Ashland) in her final days. And when Rose witnesses how much Jake has also come to mean to her hus
band (Bill Erwin, 1914–2010), she generously gives the dog to the new widower so he can continue to provide comfort.
COMMENTARY: This episode marks at least the second time that the writers of The Golden Girls and Cheers found themselves on the same wavelength. It’s actually a common phenomenon in comedy writing. As the Girls’ showrunner Marc Sotkin explains, “Lightning never hits the planet in only one place.”
This time, the Golden Girls didn’t back down. A season earlier, the Golden Girls writers had changed parts of the episode “What a Difference a Date Makes” after an installment of Cheers featured a similar bit about a karaoke machine. Now, this episode comes even closer to something that had already happened to the habitués of the Boston bar; two years earlier, in the 1990 episode “What Is . . . Cliff Clavin?” Cheers’ resident mailman and know-it-all (John Ratzenberger) also had appeared on Jeopardy! and had even been similarly presented with seemingly tailor-made categories.
Interestingly, this episode has a second link to Cheers, via its casting; here playing Jeopardy!’s casting director, Derek McGrath had previously been best-known as Cheers’ recurring homicidal maniac Andy Schroeder (aka “Andy Andy”). Playing Mr. Hubbard is Bill Erwin, who was cast as seemingly very old men for decades, most memorably in the 1980 film Somewhere in Time and in a 1993 episode of Seinfeld. Mrs. Hubbard is played by Camila Ashland, who had previously been known for her role as Minnie du Val on the cult ’60s soap, Dark Shadows.
Guest star David Leisure appears here as Charlie Dietz in a crossover from The Golden Girls’ spinoff, Empty Nest. He had previously appeared in one other Golden Girls episode—sort of. The final episode of the Girls’ second season, “Empty Nests,” had been intended as an embedded pilot for another series, but that spinoff was never to be; David costarred as Rita Moreno and Paul Dooley’s annoying neighbor, this time named Oliver (after Paul Witt and Susan Harris’s real-life son).